zoey101

I think it's okay to be critical of yourself to a point. Personally, this is one of my struggles as well. I think in cases where you make a mistake, it is good to be critical of yourself to ensure the mistake isn't made again. But I tend to let it get to me a little more than I think I should. That's why we keep working at it Just try to focus on positive criticism to help your improvement, and let go of the petty things that your ego is trying to distract you with, if that makes sense

Graduated this past Wednesday!!! So excited to be done! This is the top of my cap

So I'm back to work finally, and I come in to some pretty apparent drama that I missed last week. I still have no clue what happened, but basically one of my coworkers came into work and then just left out of nowhere. Now, I sit right in the lobby, and we have these security doors that only I can open from my desk to let people in. The head of our HR told me to not let her back into the building and to inform our head Administrator, right away, if she came back. So some time passed and I hadn't seen her so I figured it was over with, but she showed up out of the blue. I couldn't see that it was actually her at the door and so my reflexes took over and I opened the door. I called the Administrator and HR Head immediately and they took care of it. OKAY! So my issue: I can't stop feeling bad about it all... Nothing happened and the HR Head said it was okay and an easy mistake. So why do I still keep thinking about it?!? It was a little mistake that amounted to basically no consequences, but I found myself emailing both the HR Head and Administrator apologizing for the whole incident and they said it was okay. So why does it still feel like a big deal?!? I know it's sill and dumb to hold onto, but I'd have to say this is my biggest issue when fighting my "ego" GRRRRRR!!!!

@Nahm ok. I'll try it. @Quanty I've been this way for my whole life. I don't like being the reason others get hurt or upset.. no matter what it was.

@AmalieRuby And peaceful wishes to you, from America Like I said, it's not gonna work every time. Life is too crazy for that but we keep working at it and growing to become a better version of ourselves. A "non-version" It still doesn't make complete sense to me lol but if you just read what everyone else posts, they are very good at helping explain. You are a strong, beautiful, smart woman just hold on to that!

I could just be weird, but I feel like my parents did their best to ensure I had a loving and open mind to every one and everything. I don't think that is a hindrance, personally, but I could be wrong. I think the only reason I am able and willing to learn any of this is because of the way they raised me but I could be missing the point lol

"You wanna make God laugh? Make a plan" - Unknown Don't worry about what is going to happen tomorrow or what happened yesterday. Yesterday happened. Nothing you do or say will change the events of yesterday. Tomorrow hasn't happened yet. For all you know, it won't happen. Just live in the moment that's one of the many goals towards enlightenment. I'm still learning, but this one part has helped me with some aspects of my life. It won't work everytime. But that's why we keep working at it Good for you girl! Not that it matters to be a virgin or not, but you have great respect and control for yourself. You got this

She said the guy wants to enjoy being single. And clearly, he is. If her lifestyle doesn't fit that, I don't think it's selfish to not want to be apart of it. She said they got pretty serious, so of course she was hurt when he dropped the FWB Bomb. Most women are predisposed to being more emotionally driven than most men. From what she says, the guy seems fine either way. If she needs time to process what has happened and to figure out if she wants to be friends or not, I don't think that is an entitled mindset. If the guy cared or considered her feelings, he'd do more than just say, "let's keep getting a drink". He will be fine, life will move on for him. If she stays talking to him, she could mess herself up emotionally and not be able to move on. I only speak from personal experience. I spent my whole high school life caring about how everyone else would feel, and it made me utterly miserable to keep putting them first and ignoring how I felt. I'm only stating what I wish I could have heard a long time ago. It isn't selfish to consider yourself once in a while.

Thank you. @Nahm yeah it just doesn't stop here on planet ego lol I'll keep all of these things in mind though. Again, I know it was silly, but I get this way about a lot of things even though I know. I'll keep working

hmmm. Never thought of that just don't think about it, you mean?

I agree with the other posts. If you feel it would hurt you to even just be friends, then maybe just start by giving you two a little space at first. Try to focus on you for a little and what makes you happy. If you feel like you are able to have that kind of relationship (friends), then you can try it. Don't focus on how your decision will effect him. He is focused on his happiness right now, so it isn't wrong or selfish for you to do the same. Good Luck!

Lol that's me problem. I know it's nothing but I can't seem to lose the panic feeling even when I tell myself over and over to just let it go. It isn't bothering me today. I guess I just needed to let off some steam and sleep it off (lol that makes me sound like a cat ^_^)

Okay You enjoy him

I'm glad I get some of it lol What's the other part/parts?

Do you mean like how depending on what society and surroundings you are brought up in, that can determine your way of thinking? I read about how Schizophrenia in the East is viewed as God speaking directly to you and can be seen as something beautiful but in the West it comes out violent and scary. Is it kind of like that?

Yeah that's at least how my Church teaches it

@cirkussmile thank you. I know this is so silly. But I can't help but let my mind just run like crazy wondering 'Oh no! did I mess up really bad?' or 'what if they ARE mad and just haven't told me yet?' It's completely neurotic. What I hate the most is that I'm very aware of it, but it still happens.

thinking?

Thank you all I'm gonna keep looking into it and trying ----or not trying? lol

Okay, so I am trying to understand this lol but when you are meditating (sitting and breathing in silence) how are you "not thinking"? lol I tried it but couldn't help but jump from topic to topic in my head.

Agreed thank you.

Things have been so up and down lately at home.... my husband has been dealing with a lot of hard shit.. and I have been doing my best to support and love him through it... despite my own pains.. I found out, I think it was 2 weeks ago, that my husband was abusing Meth.. I shared it with you all and you were very open and supportive. Thank you. I ended up not bringing it up to my husband because I was afraid of the potential fight it could bring... since then he has been just up and down... I would check his phone but saw nothing about getting more of that shit.. eventually I just stopped checking because I wanted to believe 'maybe it was just that once, he wouldn't do that, right?'... Well I sure feel stupid for thinking that... Yesterday I was texting him all day and he was having a pretty rough one at work... So I tried to cheer him up and it seemed to be working.. he texted that I have been so great to him and he was so happy I am with him and on his side... but when I picked him up, he wouldn't say one word to me.. I tried to talk to him and he just sat in silence.. When we get home it's no different.. he just stomps around the apartment and slams doors and won't say anything.. then he goes to sleep at 6pm and I just felt so anxious because I just want to know what I did wrong.. This morning when I woke up everything seemed fine. He was cuddling up on me and I thought that today might be better... so I just dropped yesterday and was gonna start fresh.. but once he gets up, it's back to the silent treatment... I'm just trying not to get too anxious and upset but I couldn't help think 'this isn't fair.. why is he being like this?' So when I was driving him to work, with my daughter in the backseat, I just couldn't leave it alone... I asked him about it.. and begged him to talk to me.. I kept pushing.. and then he just exploded.. yelling that I don't care about what's wrong, so I should quit asking.. and that I haven't been doing anything to make him happy or show that I care about his happiness... I burst into tears trying to tell him that I have been trying my best... I do care.. we just kept going on for a while till I couldn't hold it in and I screamed at him... He smacked me directly on the mouth.. and busted my lip open... I cried and he made fun of how I sounded... I yelled that he busted my lip.. he said "good!".... he made me take him to the store and when he got back in the car, he started smoking a cigarette... with our daughter right there... I screamed and tried to take it from him.. but he said to just crack my window... I wish I was imagining all of this... When I went home on my lunch break, I saw that he left his phone.. So I checked it... He bought some last week just before the weekend... so he is either in the process of coming down from it, or currently on it.... I can't do this anymore you guys... He promised he'd never hit me... he promised to not touch that shit... he promised to care... but he broke every one of those promises.... I'm so scared of what is going to happen... I don't know what to think or feel anymore.. I need to leave... I know I do.. but I'm so scared you guys... It feels like everything is just falling apart... like I can't hold onto it anymore...

@Key Elements Thank you He has been a little better these past few days. But the moodiness is still there But I'm trying to just pay more attention to what is happening so I can see if it is a "me" issue or just a "him" issue. @Faceless actually helped me with that (thank you!!!) I think as long as I try to see past what is happening and look at the root of it all I at least won't make things worse

I get that. I was just trying to explain specifically to his question lol but I might have made no sense, sorry!

It does matter.. I think the point is that you just have to not take it so seriously. It's tough. Life can be a real bitch sometimes, but that doesn't have to change how you view things. Things are going wrong? try and think of it as a learning opportunity. Use what you learn to strengthen you. I wish I was better at explaining a little more in depth but I think you just need to take a step back from it all and realize that you matter and if you matter, than we all matter lol Don't let life get to you just embrace it and grow