zoey101

You could just gain some perspective. When "bad things" happen, I try to remind myself that there are 7 billion people on this planet. A good number of those people live in War torn areas, where "goodbye" could be for good. Another portion of that 7 billion are people who have fled their countries, for whatever reason, to make a better life for themselves and their families, but found themselves in a country that hates them for even trying to be better and treats them like less than garbage. No matter what I face, I am alright compared to those. It's all about perspective.

I don't think so lol Yes, the thoughts we have are formed around our experiences and environment. I think we can. When presented with any situation, WE choose how to react/think about it. Now your thoughts and reactions may have been formed around a life of depression and pain, but that doesn't mean it's the ONLY choice you have. When life keeps bringing you down, you can choose to fall deeper into your hole, or fight to rise above it, even if it seems hopeless. I guess that depends on what you believe lol I personally have not reached a point of seeing my "thoughts" as separate from me, so I can't say for sure what I believe on that subject.

Insecurities, worldview and hardships in life, I would imagine. At least in my case. Worldview would probably be the biggest drive of it all. You can have everything in the world, but if your view isn't even a little positive, it feels like you have nothing. And as for nourishing it? That is all on the self. No one can make you feel or react to anything unless YOU choose to. The thought pops in our head and WE have the option to believe it and make it true, or ignore it and live on.

Not sure if this is the answer you want, but: According to Christians: Hell is the separation of one from God. I couldn't tell you if it is a literal "lake of fire" but the suffering is all from the absence of God. The only way to "avoid it" is by admitting you are a sinner, believe that Jesus Christ is the one true son of God and accept Him as your Savior. Now that all eyes have been thoroughly rolled: Don't focus on it man. So many people spend so much time worrying about the afterlife that they forget to enjoy the current life. No one has 100% physical proof of anything that will happen after death. It could be absolutely nothing for all we know (that doesn't mean you shouldn't believe in something). Focus on your LIFE not on your DEATH. The Grim Reaper will be waiting in the same place for you no matter what, so discover life before it's too late.

@martin_malin Thank you To be honest, I got a little teary eyed while typing it because it's everything I wish I could tell 18 year old me. Depression takes up so much time that could be used for gaining experiences. I still struggle with it from time to time. I find myself stuck in my bed for a whole day sometimes. That's why it has to be a constant battle. The world is designed to test us and bring us down. If we are unable to handle it, we are devoured by it. We have to enjoy every part of it. Even the heartbreaks and pain, because ultimately, you can't become something great without knowing and understanding ALL parts of the human experience.

Man, becoming an adult can be really scary But you have to take it one step at a time. You said you like to do Graphic Design so stick with that. There are plenty of things on youtube and online in general that can teach you EVERYTHING you would have learned in school, but for free. You can always sign up for school when the next opportunity comes, but what are you going to do about your dream NOW? You don't need anything but access to the internet now to learn anything you want. Shit, they even have videos teaching you how to perform surgery (please don't do it without a degree though lol) As far as the job front, you need to understand that unless you are born into your "dream industry", or filthy rich, you are going to have a few jobs you don't like. But it is all about perspective. Don't think of this job as the end of it all that you are settling for. Use this job to fund your dream. Graphic programs and equipment aren't cheap, so you get a job that will maintain your bills and fund your dream, and just learn whatever skills you can from it. It's all part of the process of growing up. I have known what I wanted to do since I was a little girl, sing. I spent my whole life practicing and learning as much as possible to get into Julliard (Top school for musicians in America). I did my audition and all the paperwork, but was not accepted. It devastated me completely because I didn't have a plan B. There was no need for one in my mind because I only had one goal. I found myself kind of just going through the motions and feeling just over everything. It was really hard to get out of. But now that I am a little older (24) and able to look back on it all with a better perspective, I am happy I didn't get accepted to that school, in a way. It doesn't take a college degree to be a singer. It doesn't take a college degree to do a lot of things. So I think of it as time and money saved. The jobs I have had over the years: Retail Clothing Store Associate (my first and worst job of my entire life) Pretzel Stand Warehouse Multiple Restaurants and now Receptionist for a Law Firm None of these jobs fall under my "Dream Job" category, but they all gave me unique experiences that I believe had made me stronger and given me connections that I am happy to have. There are unique skills required in each job, but they all taught me valuable lessons that I do believe I can use towards my dream. You have to focus on perspective. I know depression can be crippling. I went through the hardest version of it (Postpartum) and I made it through with no therapy or anything like that. It was ultimately all ME. I had to make the decision to not let any of these "set backs" stop me. I had to decide that anything I face in life, I will take in as an opportunity to learn and grow. Get that minimum wage, low level job and start learning! Save your money and work on getting what you need for your dream, little by little. DON'T STRESS IT!!! The average human lives to be almost 80-90 now! You are no where near the half way point, so just enjoy your youth. Get a bunch of odd jobs to build some character and just have fun with it all. This is a quote from a silly show, but I think it really is relevant: "It get's easier if you do it everyday. But you have to do it everyday, that's the hard part" -BoJack Horseman Show (lol) I apologize for the long post, but I feel like I relate to this so much. You can do this @Nadosa , it's going to be hard, but if you keep it up and work on your perspective, I PROMISE it will be worth it in the end. I am here for you any time if you need someone to talk to. I will be praying for you!

Yeah @lmfao Working out can help give you more energy. Running, yoga, anything physical. When I get depressed, my body feels like it just kind of shuts down on me. I don't have the energy to even lift my head sometimes. But what I do when I am able to be aware of this happening is, I yell at myself in my head, 'get up! you need to move right now!' I personally like to clean as a release. I get up and start small, just picking up things here and there as I slowly gain more energy and motivation to finish. I think the idea is to get your body moving to create more energy, but to do something that you can set goals with, in a way. For me, my goals are one room at a time, and the further I get, the better I feel about myself and everything because I am moving and getting some much needed things done. You have to trick your mind into feeling the way you want to feel. Start small, "Rome wasn't built in a day, but it burned in one". You have to give yourself realistic goals that you can achieve along the way and as you get stronger and more capable of understanding your emotions and accepting them as a part of you, you can make your goals bigger and more challenging. You know what your limits are, so push them at your own pace and enjoy the journey.

I agree with @d0ornokey It has helped me for sure. The time I spend in silence just focusing on breath, are the most relaxing times of my day. But there is more than that. It is an ACTIVE decision you need to make EVERY DAY. When you wake up, you are decided how your entire day is going to go in just the first few seconds. You have to wake up and tell yourself "Today will be great, and even if it isn't, I am open to all the possibilities and lessons I will learn" I tell myself this every morning and do everything in my power to hold on to that attitude for the rest of the day. It isn't easy, but nothing worth fighting for is Just remember to go further than just practicing it, you have to LIVE it.

You can't know who you are until you understand who you are and everything that makes you you, including your emotions. I had trouble with this myself and once I let go of everything I was holding back, I felt so much lighter. I spent a good amount of time alone just allowing myself to feel everything (happiness, depression, anxiety, peace, all of it) Emotions can be a hard thing to connect with, especially in today's society. It's like the world tries to tell us that showing emotions is showing vulnerability, which is weakness. But that isn't true! We are only as strong as our weakest characteristic. So if you don't allow yourself to feel and understand your emotions, you can't truly enjoy your life. You'll be too busy shoving things down and ignoring how you feel inside to see how connected your emotions are to you and how connected you are to everything in the universe. Just keep at it! It's like running. It gets easier, but you have to keep doing it everyday, THAT'S the hard part.

@taleen @egoeimai Thank you Journal Entry #2 Adulting the CRAP out of Today: Feeling really good So today was definitely an adventure into adulting for me I had to get my new truck registered at the DMV and was really not looking forward to it. I got there well before they opened so I wouldn't have to wait too long, but boy was it hot in Florida today lol As I'm standing in the line, I am applying for insurance for the truck. I was able to get that all done pretty quick, surprisingly, and was in and out of the DMV. So I went home and relaxed since I didn't have to be at work for another hour. I was going to just sit and do nothing, but I ended up making like 10 phone calls and set up and rescheduled a bunch of appointments for my family and got a little cleaning done all in that short amount of time. I should try this more often lol I have been doing my best to stay engaged with ever moment as it comes and goes. Taking every part of the day in. The world seems so crazy right now, but when I take the time to only focus on the moment and my surroundings and how they are interacting and moving with me, I can find some quiet, stillness. I had a strange "out of body experience" (if you could even call it that lol) I was driving to work after getting everything done and was just listening to some instrumental calming music. I was just listening and breathing on the ride. At one point it felt like my eyes were messing with me. I'm driving, and all of a sudden, it doesn't feel like I am moving, but instead, everything is moving around me as I am just staying in the same place. It was interesting to feel. I don't know what any of it implies, but I thought I would share

Thank you I will think on that.

@martins name thank you for your response. I think I just got tired of feeling bad and letting it stop all progress. There are things I want to accomplish and I can't do it if I stay stuck on things I can't change you know

I think that's just the main topic. We are just giving suggestions related to "Stop Debating" and then we vote At least that's my understanding lol

I'm in

I'm sorry it isn't working.. But like I said before, she won't learn how to survive on her own if you coddle her. It will be hard, but it's something she has to figure our for herself. No one can do it for her. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being together but still having your lives outside of each other. The relationship is relatively new and you two aren't married, so it's just as important for each of you to discover who you are on your own as it is together. Don't hold on to this. You said it, "there was nothing you could do", and there is nothing wrong with that. You gave it your best shot, but she wasn't ready. That's okay. Just go on your trip and don't let this ruin anything. Enjoy your time with your friends, while you have no commitments or responsibilities.

Totally agree @TripleNipple Gain some life experience! There is so much to see and do. Focus on what makes you happy and just go with it. Travel to gain some cultural experience. It doesn't have to be anything big or out of the country. One thing I used to love doing as a teen was taking of with some of my friends and just getting lost in a new place. The rule was no gps till the end of the day, when we were ready to go home. All it cost was some gas money, but it was some of the best fun I had Through your experiences, I do believe you could find a passion. Once you find it, then you can figure out the best course of action to take. It may be college, or it may not be. Just remember that no matter what path you go down, it is YOUR path and you don't have to answer to anyone If it's what you love, skrew what anyone else thinks! (unless you love to hurt people.... don't do that!!!) lol

My advise is to just think of what you would be doing, if you could do literally anything. If there was nothing holding you back (financially, or other reasons) what would you do? Also, keep in mind that college is not for everyone. If your dream career is something that does not necessarily require a degree, then I wouldn't waste the time and money on college. And if you don't know, then I would suggest to avoid college until you do know. The last thing you want is to go to college and then discover your dream halfway through and realize that you didn't need to go to college for that career. I did that, and now I have a nice stack of student loans for a degree that I didn't really need. You are young, you have time (people live till their 80's now). I know that schools stress further education a lot, but your dream career may only require a trade school at the most. First step is to figure out the dream. If you could start tomorrow, what would you be doing? Music, law, mechanic, anything.

Having some better success these past few days. Slept longer than recommended, but I probably needed it from the lack of sleep before lol The breathing exercises are going well. Still unable to do them at the scheduled times, but I just adjusted the times to fit my schedule

I can only do cartoony things lol I never got shading like that down. So I are very impressed :3

Yeah lol that was my thinking as well. I finally was able to sleep last night Woke up early, got some stuff done and had plenty of time for the breathing. Starting the day feeling pretty relaxed. We'll see how that goes lol

Wow I love the shadowing!!! So professional I love it!

Update: Not doing great on the sleeping part. Had a little trouble sleeping the past few nights... But I have been working on the breathing. Not doing them at the exact times scheduled due to some responsibilities, but I did them no more than an hour before or after the scheduled time It does help to relax me. Was having a small anxiety attack and couldn't understand where it was coming from. It kept getting worse for no reason... So I stopped and did the breathing. It really helped relax my mind and body. ?

Hallelujah!!! Lol

Alright yeah it's really awesome. And globally too

Lol 3 please! You won't like me when I'm hungry lmao