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Thank you for being available, @Strikr! You're such a good soul!

Your theory makes sense. One year before being hospitalized in a psychiatric institution, I started avoiding my emotions. I kind promised to me that I would never feel anything again. Before that, I was feeling really depressed and crying a lot. I usually felt depressed, but I didn't have suicidal thoughts. The ability I had of just crying whenever I want helped me with that. Anyway, I started to repress my emotions in order to people see that I was a strong man. I also wanted a girl to love me and, if I showed her my emotions, it would mean that I was weak. In those days, I wanted a girlfriend so hard, but I didn't understand that, before having a partner, I needed to accept myself. Nowadays, I see the importance of staying connected with my emotions, but I'm still afraid that it makes me less of a man. Even my therapist told me that men should not be so sensitive. Maybe I'm moving from Orange to Green. I don't know. Even if I'm too sensitive, I'm learning with that. What's curious is that I opened a thread about psychopathy and, in fact, I'm realizing I have many emotions (from sadness and fear to happiness and anger). It seems it's not very common for psychopaths to feel anything. But I still need to learn how to deal with my emotions and express them. A lot of my empathy issues is because I don't express my emotions. If another person is sad, I can feel it, but I won't express. I have fear of just saying: "hey, I realized you seem to be sad. Are you okay? May I help you with something?" or "hey, you seem to be happier! By the way, your beard is awesome!" Sometimes I just realize I can express such things when it's too late. Maybe it's just a matter of developing social skills.

I love your post. It remembers me a famous book written by Dale Canergie. Studying how to become a spiral wizard may help as well.

Hi, @Strikr! Thank you for your answer. I hope you get better of your ADHD. Maybe meditation can help you. Recently, I lost my best friend (he attempted suicide) and I cried a lot. When my dog died around 1 year ago, I also cried. Maybe I'm too sensitive. I think drugs are good when used the right way. Nowadays, psychiatrists put people on high amount of drugs with no reason. I'm tapering off antipsychotics because I think I don't need them anymore, but, if I have a psychotic crisis again, I will take it (but probably with a low dose). The idea that no one can understand me makes sense. As Leo says, we're alone.

Psychiatric drugs are sold like candies nowadays. Maybe you need a bit of it, but I would do some research on fluoxetine. I took it for around 1 year and, when I tapered it off, I had some slight withdrawal side effects. But it depends on each person. Do the research because any psychiatric drug can be dangerous. You can starting by reading or watching materials created by Robert Whitaker. There other authors and names like Paris Williams, Laura Delano, Will Hall, Loren R. Mosher, Daniel Mackler, Jaakko Seikkula and Katinka Blackford Newman.

Hi, @stevegan928! I feel your pain and I'm sorry for it. My best friend also attempted suicide around two weeks ago. It made me really sad and I still cry because of him. I didn't believe it in the beginning. Maybe you're thinking: "why he didn't tell me nothing?" or "why he didn't try to reach me out?". I think we'll never understand it and we can't predict what people will do. Stay connected with your feelings and be with trusted people. I hope the best for you.

If you consider that your life purpose may have a strong connection with things you did during your childhood, you may achieve it by investing on self-knowledge.

I heard Leo saying that Green people get frustrated with activism and become Yellow. I think David Deida talks something about it as well (I read something similar in his book, Bluetruth). My question is: "is activism worthless?" I ask that because I want to see change in the world and I started a blog about the bad things conventional psychiatry does to people who are diagnosed with mental disorder. But I'm wondering if it's worthwhile to stick with it. There are some few people who read my stuff, but how to be more effective? It's not my Life Purpose, but it's a cause that still matters.

Hey, @Leo Gura! Thank you very much! I think it's exciting to work on this activism but I want to do it in a mature way. Your work and videos are helping me a lot. Thank you again!

Thank you, @dorg! I took a look at Paul Levy's videos on YouTube but what he talks seems to be a bit complex (at least for me). He says we're living a kind of a dream. It's probably true but I don't have enough experiences to grasp it fully. Maybe when I do psychedelics I will understand it better.

I don't know if my English is too bad or if this guy is talking non-sense.

I didn't get what you mean @Etagnwo. If Blue people have different values of Orange people, shouldn't we talk in a different manner with them? Or is it possible to deliver a universal message to them?

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and I still take antipsychotics (in withdrawal process). I think it would be amazing if Leo talks about his view on mental illnesses. There are some materials that can help him: - The book Rethinking Madness by Paris Williams (this book talks about non-dualism as well); - All Robert Whitaker books (especially Anatomy of an Epidemic); - The Icarus Project (Will Hall); - The Inner Compass Project (Laura Delano); - Soteria Houses (Loren Mosher); - The Open Dialogue Project (Jaakko Seikkula).

Florianópolis, Brazil.

Maybe if I studied how to be a Spiral Wizard I can create a more mature activism. Thanks to the spiral dynamics knowledge, I'm not trying the pour down the truth to people (even because I don't know the entire truth). I know that I shouldn't talk to a Blue person the same way I talk to an Orange person. Do you guys know any book about how to be a Spiral Wizard?

Love this image too! Perfect!

I still can't fully grasp non-duality, but maybe I experienced it during my psychosis.

Leo is awesome. Thanks to his forum, I found out about Robert Whitaker and understood better what my psychosis is (reading Rethinking Madness by Paris Williams at the moment). His videos are amazing and really opened my eye. If it wasn't for his videos, I would be stuck in Orange teachings with no REAL guidance for my life. Thank you, Leo!

My parents are very catholics and are probably in Blue. I think that after my psychosis, they started to become more Orange. They love me too much and they struggled a lot to understand what was happening to me (even if it was with the mainstream scientific model of psychosis, which is very materialistic).

I realized that get stressed when I'm in do mode. For example, if I set the habit that I want to draw and paint for at least one hour per day, the first 3 days I do it calmly, but, after that, I start to get stressed. I think it has to do with my perfectionism. I'm also unable to relax. I'm practicing meditation, but, even when I try to do it everyday, I become frustrated. I start to think a lot and, for me, it's like spending my time with practices that will get me nowhere. Sometimes I can't grasp the big picture. If I spend my time drawing and painting everyday, I'll become a master at it. Sometimes I forget why I'm doing that. I do that for the sake of doing, and not for the sake of my passion. I'm astonished of how quickly I can forget it. I create also mental prisons. I start a drawing of a horse and then, I think: "it would be great if I drew a dog. But, damn, I'm drawing this horse now and I have to finish it before drawing the dog." And then I get stressed again because I want to draw the dog, and not the horse anymore. The process of drawing and painting the horse starts to be very stressful and frustrating. How can I deal with that? Should I work on two projects at the same time? Or should I be resilient and finish what I start before starting a new project? How do you guys deal with similar stuff? I'm also thinking on reading two books at the same time. But maybe it can be too much.

Thank you, @Salvijus! I hope you also become a high level musician. Follow your passion and never give up!

Great video! I didn't get everything, but I imagine that he found no more pleasure in painting after becoming enlightened. It made no sense for him anymore. I still want to express many things through drawing and painting. I have a universe inside my mind. Maybe Mooji is more in the Turquoise level of the spiral and now he has this understanding. I would say I'm still in the Green level of the spiral without the lessons of the Orange. In fact, I have many shades of Blue as well. I can't connect too much with Orange because I don't want to destroy the earth and Orange teachings are too much materialistic. Anyway, I want to master painting and it will take time. I imagine myself doing it until I die. I still wonder how many paintings I will be able to create until I die.

It brought me another question: "Are we born turquoise, but, due to social conditioning, we start to decline our levels of consciousness?"

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida seems to be a book that makes green people go to yellow.

I'm not sure of that, but I think the Fibonacci Code and the Golden Ratio may be yellow.