abrakamowse

I have a problem, I want to sit and meditate non-stop LOL But I can't, I have to work... or is it my ego??? Oh my god!!!

Thanks for sharing, I am working on creating a routine.

This was weird, I had an Epiphany some time ago. I think it was all done by my mind, not a really "true" epiphany because at that moment I was beginning to became aware, but I felt that meditation wasn't working as I expected and I quit everything and I began to look for enlightenment (unconsciously) on traditional religion, in a non-denominational Christian church. I know it sounds crazy but at that moment I needed that, and believe or not, it was through this that I accepted we have no free will and I understood things about the Bible that I didn't know well at that moment. But the thing was that I was very confused, a big crisis in my life. I felt like nothing made sense, I felt like lost and I was going through life really in a chaos. So I was like looking to have some kind of sign that I was "saved" etc... I was under so much pressure at work, I was living my life accelerated and in disorder, very chaotic. And when I was at the subway, going to my work. I began to feel something not natural, I felt like a great love in my heart in a way I never felt before. It was like I loved everyone there on the train, i really never felt something like that before. Then I got off the train, I have to take another train to go to work, so I went into the second train. I was still shocked about what I felt. And when I was arriving to my train station, I began to see everything like different. I looked at the people and I saw something that I can't explain with words. I saw that everyone are connected, and that everything I do affects everyone. There was like a kind of light that went through everyone connecting everyone, that's not the proper description of what I saw but it was something like that. I knew that everyone was connected. Then I looked at my hands and I saw my skin like a bit transparent and I saw like light running inside, but it was like water really. It made me remember at that moment what Jesus said, that we will see rivers of living water. That's what it came to my mind at that moment. "Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them." John 7:38 And everything looked more alive to me, I remember thinking "I was dead, now I'm alive". It was a difference between how I saw the world before and at that moment, I saw everything more clearly, like if what I was seeing was foggy or blurry and now I saw everything more clearly defined. Then I went out of the train, and the station is a bit high, the train goes on top of everything on that part. So I saw the city, and when I saw the sky it was like the sky was alive. Like if God was there and I felt the earth like breathing. I remember me thinking, "oh my god, the whole earth is a living thing". I felt like to fall on my knees and adoring everything, god, nature, earth, life. I didn't do it because everybody would think I was crazy. But I was really close to do that hehehehe... Then I told some of my closes friend about it, that made me believe more in Jesus but in a dogmatic way. So, I began to go to church after that, not a good idea but that was what happened. I had to pass to all that experience (going to church, etc) to understand what Jesus was really saying, and that's not taught on churches, pitifully. But I will write about that on a different post someday. Let me know what you think, I'm not sure if it was delusional or if there's some truth on that Epiphany I had.

I hope it's something helpful for all, on our way to being enlightened. :-)

“The true value of a human being can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation from the self.” ― Albert Einstein

The problem we have is that we think we are our mind, or our ego. We don't know who we are, that's the confusion. We learn to associate ourselves with the mind or the ego, and we are not really that. Our ego doesn't like that, because we feel that if we don't associate with our ego, we will lose our identity. And there it begins the chatter... One of the best tools that I used to stop the chatter (in fact you don't stop it, you just see it like nonsense, and you realize is not you so you don't pay attention to it) is the mindfulness meditation. Here you have the video.

For me it was really helpful. I'm listening to and audiobook and it's very enlightening.

@Nick Lol

Goodbye Sarper. I hope u can find the answers you are looking for. Hope to see u back some day.

I tend to think too much too, and I want to find the logic and reasoning. But It's not possible, just relax and observe your thoughts. Those are reactions of your ego, you are scaring the shit out of him. Lol. The mindful meditation helped me a lot to stop the monkey mind and worry less.

Is it normal to see everything blurry when meditating? I was trying to meditate without thinking anything, watching the objects without thinking about them, without "labeling". I began to feel very relaxed, I noticed my breathing and all my body much more clearly than any moment. then the feeling of the body began to go away, I was trying to avoid any thought and I began to see the objects very blurry. And I felt nothing, only I was aware that I was there but not sure if it was a real awareness or what. :-P

Thanks Leo!!!

I have to improve my third eye @Leo Gura Lol

Leo actualized.org of course Mooji Eckhart Tolle Sadhguru

I did the test too, very interesting. Thanks @Pyrrhocorax graculus for your comments.

Well, she saw me the other day sitting on the couch with my legs crossed and she sat next to me in the same position. Kids imitate everything.

@Ayla You are right... I will work on that. Thanks!

Does that means that if we are fully enlightened we will see everything the same way @Sarah_Flagg explained here? I'm really confused Lol

@Ayla I have to sit and meditate more. Mr. Mind cannot understand yet Lol... And I really feel everything you are saying is true, but is like... i can't find the way to cross "the Gateless Gate"

I'm going crazy just reading this, Im always scared of going crazy. What can I do @Leo Gura to overcome that?

Good to know, what will we do without @Leo Gura ??? I have no clue about what kind of experience is real or not. :-P

@TruthSeeker I was in a mental hospital for some time due to some panic attacks and other some psychotic episode. I meet people there that made me change my opinion about a guy who murder, rape or did some other bad thing, I really now think that they are not guilty really. hehehe... Same thing about people who commit suicide. One of the guys I met, he told me, he had problems with violence. When something happened inside of him, he got so angry he couldn't stop and he could kill someone when that happened. That's not his will to do it, there's something on the environment, on the way they were educated, etc that makes them act that way. You say something about that. I used to think like you before, that everything that they say (I heard it mostly from psychologists and psychiatric doctors) that a rapist or murdered is not really guilty and I though "bullshit", he must go to jail. Believe me that this is not about wanting not to take responsibility and wanting to do bad things so we are not guilty. Nothing farther from the truth. But think about this, when someones commits a murder, he goes to jail and if he makes crazy things they send him to solitary confinement. It is proved that people in isolation go crazier, we as human beings need interaction with other to be sane mentally. Now I think that people need to be treated, in jail they get worse. I'm not trying to convince you about free will, just my point of view. I am always open to any new idea so, maybe I can be wrong.

In our search is easy @Sarah_Flagg to fall into tricks of the mind. I found out that the best thing to do is to "do nothing". Lol... Sometimes we wish so much to have an "experience" which will confirm our belief that our minds give us that. Better be safe and go step by step...

I totally agree with @Ayla , IMO they are illusions too and we don't have to play with them. My two cents. You can read about my experience here if you want:

I think the best option for you @Sarah_Flagg is try to focus on your senses, not so much on your mind or having those kind of experiences. I know because I did it too, I had some weird experiences and I took very bad decisions because of them. IMO they are mind tricks, nothing important. Focus on the now.