abrakamowse

Very nice journal @Zotikos Thanks for sharing it!!!

Yes @Water I had a nightmare in which I was without any identity. I didn’t have past, no future, no history and everything was completely black. There was nothing there but me. It happened not the whole dream, it wasn’t long, otherwise I would have died of a heart attack because it was so real for me. It happened at the moment I was about to get up, when I get up I never was so scared like that moment. I couldn’t think well. I forgot a lot of things, my wife called me a taxi and I decided to go to the hospital to see my psychiatrist (I was diagnosed with depression). And I was afraid of forgetting where I was going. I was in shock. At that time I didn’t know anything about meditation, or buddhism or anything. And it is now that knowing about others experiences that I understand that I was nothingness at that moment, but my mind wasn’t prepared for that. I will post about it on the journal section of the forum, probably this weekend.

@Pinocchio Oh, I didn't know Damnedest was part of a trilogy, LOL... thanks! I will add that one too. :-P

Not as good?

That's really good @Pinocchio I am reading Spiritual Enlightenment: Damnest Thing by Jed Mc Kenna too. I have to add that one to my "to read" list.

I AM nothingness

Does that mean I AM Santa???

Follow your heart

And then that third one will kick him in the balls

The problem here is our perception of enlightenment, being enlightened doesn't mean you can't act or do anything. One enlightened person will go chanting, the other one will break his nose. It's irrelevant.

I would say you have to believe in your project and then try to show others your vision. If the idea is good people will follow.

@asgard94 I am sure, it is not.

My ego is actually delusional.

My greatest fear was not having identity. Now I know that's my greatest fear. And I think I am beginning to understand why.

@ayokolomo maybe it can be helpful to you to read books were people get enlightened without wanting it, and with not so much effort. Really there's always effort, but it doesn't mean we know it. I am not saying that you don't have to make an effort to be enlightened, what I say is when you surrender that happens naturally. You don't need to search for it. It will happen. I see it like a natural process. I found these books, I want to read them myself, I didn't read them but I'm pretty sure that it has very valuable information. They are mentioned on a Mc Kenna book, Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing. These are the books: The writer is Satya Nadeem , maybe you know him. From Onions to Pearls By Satyam Nadeen From Seekers to Finders By Satyam Nadeen I want to read it too, I will buy them soon. This is the description of From Onions to Pearls: This is the true story of one man's spiritual awakening, without a guru and under severely restrictive, sometimes violent, physical, and intense emotional conditions. In March of 1992, Michael Clegg entered an overcrowded county jail near Jacksonville, Florida, convicted of the manufacture of an illegal drug called Ecstasy. He was held there for two years while awaiting sentencing. While in prison, he realized that a lifetime of spiritual searching had brought him no closer to the elusive state he was seeking, so he gave up trying. In surrender, he was overwhelmed with relief and bliss. The next several years were spent in a deepening process he calls the "deliverance," as layers of the preconditioned ego personality were peeled away to reveal the eternal Pearl of Consciousness. On August 15, 1996, Satyam Nadeen was released from a federal prison to reenter the world that Michael Clegg had left.

It seems @Neuroticon didn't need our help so much What do you think @Carla ?

Mooji helped me a lot on my "awakening" path. I'm very grateful to him.

I am on the correct way to enlightenment.

Don't pay attention to your thoughts. They are just that... thoughts. I had the same experiences like you, I was even in a mental hospital to realize that what drives us crazy is thinking our thought are ours, or come from us. They are not us, and they want to keep us slave to this fiction we are living, until we become enlightened.

Ok, I don't know if I can be of help but I had also a panic attack after too much work and some wrong beliefs I had that made me think constantly about existential questions that almost drove me crazy. I was hospitalized. Again, the problem is the importance we give to our thoughts. You had some weird experiences, now you are wanting to make sense of them and that's driving you crazy. Think about it. Why? I didn't had an experience like I was dead, like you had. But I had the worst nightmare I ever had. When I woke up, I couldn't think well, I forgot everything, I could not reason. And in my dream I didn't have an existence. I didn't know who I was, I was nothing. It's weird that now reading books about meditation, Buddhism, yoga, etc. That's what is all about, our ego doesn't exist. We are really nothing and we have to find our true self, or higher self. All this is a game of your feelings your mind, etc trying to understand an experience that you had that probably is from your real self, that it can't be understood by logic. The mind is trying to make sense of it, when it can't do it, it thinks you have lost your mind. But is just a thought. It's not real. Don't pay attention to those thoughts, let them go. They are not you. You are bigger than your thoughts.

@Leo Gura Thanks!!! I got into a mind trap. Thanks again. I think the catch is not continue believing that there's "one way" to do it... Or better yet, not believing in anything.

Clay, you are thinking about your ego as you. You feel you are your ego and you are not. You have to try to connect with your higher self, that is done with meditation, the higher self knows better than you what is good for you. In fact, he is You, but you don't see him as you. We are all identified with the ego, and the ego doesn't know anything. He goes to extremes, he doesn't think what is good for you, he thinks what is good for him so you believe he is you. I'm not sure if you are getting exactly the idea of what ego is. You have something much more powerful than the ego, but because of conditioning we don't know how to connect to it. Take your time, be quiet. And you will feel your real self. Maybe you need to understand what ego is first, you don't have to be against it. First you have to know how it works. Read this, maybe this can help. http://www.osho.com/read/osho/osho-on-topics/ego

Ok, I retract myself. Lol... I didn't see LOA was Haitian Voodoo. I don't know if it works, but I am not interested in it at the moment.