abrakamowse

What's that teaching you followed? If you can share, of course...

We are not supposed to believe anything, we will experience it.

Who wants it?

I was around that age too @Keyblade Viking when I began to question what were my thoughts. But I didn't go any deeper than that. I was like, ey!... Those thoughts are not mine! ... Ok. Lol

My awareness is controlling you, but you didn't notice it.

@FindingPeace and @Woody Thanks for your comments!!!

Thanks guys for your comments!!!

Lol Maybe I can ask for an improved mind, kind of like version 2 or 3 :-P

Thanks @Mastermind !!! Appreciated!

This is what's happening to me. I try to observe and not get attached to any feeling or thought. It works well, but sometimes I began to think... and if that's not the "observer"??? If that is my ego? How do I know is not the ego fooling me?

I understand that I have no body. I understand I am not my ego. I am still like processing about being awareness ... and what is awareness? A point of consciousness? What's consciousness??? Lol Are these things revealed to us when we reach enlightenment? (if we reach it )

Journal Part 2 Oki Doki, this is the second part of my journey. Is there a second part? Not sure, but now there it is. The second part just “it is” so it exists. Unlike my ego... :-P Sorry for the bad joke, here I go. There are things that are like burnt with fire on my mind. Things that for some reason I always remember, even when I was very young. I always thought that these memories that are so stuck on my mind are there for a reason, but right now I am beginning to make sense of them. When I was a kid, I remember my father explaining me that we were evangelical Christians, so we, differently than catholics, we don’t have images of Christ on our Crosses, because it was written on the bible that you cannot make images of nothing on the earth or in heaven. So, that made me think that there were some churches that had different interpretations of the Bible. But I didn’t analize it at that age, I must have been like 8 or 9, maybe younger. So, I always had like a big suspicion about the Catholic church, and that suspicion began to grow as I learned about the inquisition, and the great crusades, holy wars, etc. Then my father told me about the different churches and their doctrines, probably I asked him what Church were ours, if we were different than Catholics. But I don’t remember frankly, what I remember is that he told me that there were some other evangelical churches with different beliefs, and one of them believed that everything was predetermined. That we are like “robots” directed by God and that our destiny is chosen. He laughed about it. And I was like, that’s weird. Then I found out (very recently) that my grandfather was adventist, and the adventists believe on free will, they follow the teachings of John Wesley (and others) and Wesley believed on free will. From wikipedia: “ Adventist teaching strongly emphasises free will; each individual is free either to accept or reject God's offer of salvation. Adventists therefore oppose the Calvinistic/Reformed doctrines of predestination (or unconditional election), limited atonement and perseverance of the saints("once saved always saved").” So, even that my father was not a very religious person he must have believed that we have free will, and so did I. Until now. Then I found out that the christian doctrine my father was talking to me about was Calvinism. But more on that later. So, at this point I was a teenager, and the first question I asked myself was if we are not our thoughts, and I am not my mind either. So, what are we? If what I am thinking comes from me, why am I always doubting about what choice is best? Why can’t I know exactly what is good for me and chose it? Where does my crazy ideas come from??? Why the crazy thoughts? Why I felt bad if nothing seemed to be bad… too many questions. I was very curious about knowing what I am, what’s our life purpose, everything. It gave me a lot of excitement knowing about occultism and other stuff, but I was also a bit scared, because I thought some of these teachings could be bad, like black magic and other stuff. So I heard also about Buddha and I remember him talking about the middle way, it made sense to me. So I decided to be safe and I wouldn’t go to extremes. I was an avid reader and curios, and I found about Lobsang Rampa, and his books. And he explained about astral projections, the third eye, the silver cord and more stuff. Right now I see that as nonsense, I don’t say they don’t exist or deny them but at this moment, they are of no use for me. I think of them as a distraction, as I am now focused on enlightenment. But at that moment it catched my imagination and I wanted to do astral projections and crazy stuff. Never could achieve one. I wanted to know about the Tibetan Book of the Dead, etc. It was helpful in giving me a first taste of what it was the western philosophy, but Rampa was really more like a buddhist fairy tale, I don’t feel they are really true. And if they are, they are terrible misleading about what enlightenment is. But, at that moment I didn’t know, so it was good to me to make me understand some things. For example, he gave some ideas about how limited are our senses and that there are things that can be happening outside of our sensorial capacities, like the infrared rays and the ultraviolets rays. I also found books of Yogi Ramacharaka, about Hatha Yoga. I began to meditate, but not really very good meditation. Anyway I had interesting meditations, that gave me some insights about my true self. One of the meditations, I remember clearly, it was me on a kind of war. There were gunshots all bombs all around me, the meditations I did were more like unleashing the fantasy in my mind and observe it. At that moment that’s what I thought it was. The curious thing is that everybody even me, where monkeys. And we were a particular kind of monkeys, we were babooms. Hahaha… at that moment I got the idea, but I remember thinking, what does that monkeys mean? Now I know, and I am pretty sure that’s the meaning. That’s the monkey mind, we were represented as the monkeys (the ego) and that’s why we go to wars, we fight each other, we get angry, etc. Interesting. Anyway, they weren’t real meditations, mostly mind plays. After that, I always continue reading about meditation and I believed a lot of stuff that I think is correct but my understanding was not so deep, was superficial. So I began to get disappointed because things were getting difficult. At that moment I was in a relationship, I was living together with my girlfriend and we had an opportunity to come to USA, so we decided to come to New Jersey where we are now, we are married now and we have a 9 year old daughter. I began to work and I forgot a bit about meditation and all that. I was like out of everything, but I still had some belief, mostly mixed stuff like “The Secret”, and other self help books. My wife bought the book “the power of now” but I didn’t get interested in it. I read the book about Think and Grow Rich from Napoleon Hill. But, my mind-ego was still in control (still is... but less than before), so I didn’t understand the difference. Even when I got the idea that we are not our mind, I didn’t know how to apply that teaching to anything and I didn’t understand what a powerful thing is to keep the mind quiet. The thing is that my life wasn’t too bad. I was having some economic difficulties like everybody and that gave me stress. The company that I am actually working, was at that time really busy, and their main focus was to do jobs fasts, so to do them faster I began to “multitask”. At that moment I didn’t know multitasking is not possible, so my attention get used to focus in many different things during short periods of time. That made a pattern in my way of thinking, and the pressure at work and others problems drove me crazy. Some days before that I was like feeling so empty, so depressed that I felt that nothing worked for me spiritually. But because I was a great Jesus believer I began to think “what if I am wrong about the Bible and the Bible is all true?” And I began to ask God to give me some sign, something so I could believe in Jesus. I asked him, “why I can’t believe in nothing?” I remember I was laying on the bed and I was like twisting to one side and to the other like if I were in great pain (my soul was in pain) and I asked him to make whatever I need to believe in him. At that moment I thought that Catholics were wrong, but I thought that the Evangelical Churches, some of them at least were right. I wasn’t sure, but I was ready to take the leap of faith, so… I decided something crazy. I was going to brainwash myself into Christianity. :-P More later….

I think this article is very helpful. Let me know what you think about it. http://www.truthcontest.com/entries/the-present-with-religion/belief-truth-fantasy-reality.html

Thanks @Keyblade Viking for the links. I will check your playlist. Interesting. I think is interesting to know about different ways of thinking. There are some opinions there that I don't share, but yes they say the stories are symbolic of the truth. They give examples about how some stories in movies, and everywhere have the idea of the "hero journey" in it and maybe some didn't notice and how that movies got very popular. Because they have some hidden truth in them. When I posted that I was in a seeker mode, something happened to me this weekend that I don't want to search anymore in books, blogs, websites, etc. I just want to meditate and find out inside me. :-)

Ok

Mind maps! I am beginning to do one about some ideas for the company that I am working for now. Cool

Cool Mercy!

Kabbalah seems very powerful and thruthful This is the explanation of the part in the old testament where God said to Moses, “Speak to the rock and water will come out.” But moses hit the rock instead of speak. "So why did Moses hit the rock? Why did Moses not speak to the rock? The hitting of the rock is a metaphor for physical, materiality. Speaking is a metaphor for consciousness. Moses hit the rock because the people’s consciousness was not yet ready to achieve control over the world. They had doubts. They weren’t prepared to go all the way. They weren’t prepared to give up the ego. Because in order to unleash the power of consciousness, you have to reel in the ego and dismantle it. For good. Instead, the people just wanted to take. Not share."

This video was really helpful at moments I thought I was going crazy. My mind like to play that trick with me a lot. I learned now how to no pay attention to it. It was hard, Mooji helped me a lot...

@Ikramini Thanks, same to you!!!

That's so awesome, I am a bit envious hehehehe... I would like to do that too someday. I am about to start my own company soon too.

I didn't know about Ihaleakala, that guy is awesome. Look, if you check in his website on the "a message from Iheleakala" page you will find the response of what you were looking for "The responsibility and the function of the Conscious Mind (Intellect) is to initiate the cleaning, to care for the Subconscious, teach it the cleansing process and to ask Divinity for directions. The Conscious Mind is clueless as to what memories are replaying (11,000,000 per second) in the Subconscious. ONLY DIVINE LOVE CAN TRANSMUTE TOXIC MEMORIES TO PURE ENERGIES. DIVINE LOVE IS THE ONLY SOURCE OF INSPIRATION AND ENLIGHTENMENT!" I watch in youtube to several masters, I have the power of now by Tolle, and I also listen to Mooji and Sadhguru. They are very down to earth about how to think and what to do, they have a simple approach to all their teachings. Sometimes we complicate things too much on our minds.

I got you @Ikramini it happens to me. But I think Leo also explained that too in another video (I will search it and I will post it here) and I think I agree with him. Imagine the movie the Matrix, where you are inside the Matrix and you have to leave it. To do that, Morpheus and Trinity had to go to the Matrix and explain Neo how to get out of there. But they had to use the tools that are available in the Matrix. The pill wake him up, but he wasn't still totally awake. That's why it seems contradictory, our reasoning and thoughts will fight and some will try to enlighten us, others will obscure us. We are learning to see the difference, to discover the difference. Once we do that our "positive" thoughts will take us to a point where no thoughts are required. Remember all the time try to be feeling your presence as a guide. That's our guide, thinking that no though can make us any harm, and separating from our thoughts. And at some point the ego will go. I am also beginning to feel a bit more free, but I am still confused sometimes. It's your ego that doesn't wanna leave his place, the place that is yours, the "I AM". It's hard to us to not identify with something we were identified all our life.

Where do you see the contradiction? Can you give an example?

I know the third eye is in the forehead, but I always felt that pressure on it, like someone gently pushing it. Mostly when I have some idea I think is new, or a concept or when I find the answer to a question. I was just wondering if anyone had that and if there's some other interpretations.