Aakash

woAH that literally means i'm talking to god right now asin you are literally god and i'm talking to you as a seperate self but we are the same, woah thats trippy. HIIIIIII GOD LOL aright , lastly i thought of another question, do you think i should tell my parents, or is it best to go quietly? i think i should go quietly , i don't want to affect their reality, with thinking i'm special or god or anything sounds like the better decision right?

LOOL! okay last question: it seems to me that you can't talk about it past this point , like there's nothing you can say about it at all, its literally just you and your experiences and the practices, until you don't need the practices anymore?

literally only a matter of time! you can't unsee it once you've seen it because its literally like NOW the access point is literally in the NOW, YOU CAN'T MISS IT have you done it or are you still trying?

@Shin LOOOL! i understand those panic attacks that you've been having in bed and those days where your not motivated to get out of bed from reading your journals, it literally makes sense now some solid advice, definately if you try to understand it with the brain you get out of it and does that include planning how your going to live your life because thats believing there is a "you" to plan it?

and how far on the journey are you ? LOOOL i finally understand what it means to die @Shin

is surrendering basically the idea of no surrendering, its like you let it happen to you. like the idea is to remain there at all times,

@Druid420 i see which is exactly what it felt like if i went fully through, its basically like going to a place of no return. because your perspective changes to pure awareness and isn't from the perspective of you. So i'm guessing the more you disconnect from the mind, the less you identify with it.

@tsuki LOL MY SHADOW WORK IS SAYING GOODBYE TO MY PARENTS AND LIFE ! @Druid420 yeah that was it, it was awareness of awareness does that dissipate into pure awareness when you go completely through

yeah it got rejected, as soon as my mind activity started and my emotions started flaring up, is this why we say we are not this and not that? to bypass this?

several holes, several several none like this, i've never felt fear ever when i opened other holes this is different this was as if, if you had to stay in this hole, that thats it thats your life over but it was so peaceful, i feel like crying, i feel like i'm going to die

it feels like the last step of self inquiry the 9th picture of the ox herding pictures complete no mind metitation the collapse of time really it feels like the end of the world it feels like the result of watching your hands for countless months and years it feels like a hallucination

i feel scared, i feel like its like a hole,that if i fall into it, i won't know where it will take me or how long ill fall for

I am being the question is not "what are you" , there is no "you" the question is "what are you" what you are is being the questions are different

trying to figure out what it is, trying to see it as a seperate objective entity from yourself, but you can't figure it out, because you are it its like the mind is trying to trying to survive by needing to label it as something seperate, it feels scared of it, and my emotions have reacted and i feel fear it keeps labelling it I , present moment, body, silence, seeing, being, right , wrong , stillness etc..

i am that which i am when my mind completely stops, that eternal moment free of any labelling not silence, not everything, not nothing, not god, not colourful, not a room, not a body, not "i" , not chair free of all mind activity

@tsuki I am the present moment?

@tsuki lol i don't know , i'm not enlightened to know what i am

through my own distrotion of reality as subject/ object perspective, because i see you as a person seperate to me,

@tsuki LOL, thats the million dollar question nothing and something simultaneously conceptually. so i am a human with a heart, and not a human with a heart feeling emotions

@tsuki they're both made out of nothing i think you've given me a great insight, i didn't think to put metaphysics also in the list of bullshit i've heard! nothing is not different from nothing, it is it so your saying that the heart is where emotions are and they're not actually seperate concepts, they're just seperated because of my distrotion. so what i said, is right in conceptual terms and is wrong in conceptual terms

I guess ill take the L since i couldn't prove my point lol,

@tsuki so what are they made of? also i don't know how to do this, so i'm going to need like two examples to understand what you mean

@Druid420 most definitely, don't forget to stay hydrated along the way. did what i say make any sense to you?

paradigms are just archetypes that are made from beliefs, they're made of nothing lol, yes i know that physical reality is of the mind too not sure what you meant here

@tsuki Yes but i feel like this happens anyway the moment you leave a material paradigm