Aakash

Pssst -_ - can't participate on the forum, because i have no truth to tell. no direct experience i think is true. guess i'm just all alone here talking to myself lol. how funny when i ask , i can't find the one who is aware in my direct experience not that i didn't know what i was getting myself into, i was perfectly conscious of the hard problem that i was offering.

Lol zeroisinfinity said "as god i created you" on the forum thread and it sounded funnily so arrogant for someone to say. i've hit back into material reality, need to cool off on this layer. To reset my reality back to base, where people start the path from. This will probably take a few weeks. all its going to be is identifying what's in my direct experience and extracting all beliefs from the equations. i'm probably going to take the lazy route and say that its everything, there's no point sorting out the beliefs because it was just stringed together by an apparent "absolute truth"... a made up absolute truth

@DrewNows ahah i actually enjoy the spiritual path and truth seeking in general, every time i go backwards, its fine. This was part of the plan, but i never calculated how much direct experience would rob. See ? the assumption is that you would be right, unless proven otherwise.

You know, i was just thinking i was working together to solve the problem of the truth. i feel sad, because i have to bite the bullet. this is why i don't like god, always taking L's for going against the status quo and never have the experience to back it up. its like saying i'm going to be rich and not doing it because reality is so complex to plan out your life. have to regress all my words meanings to their original definitions. not absolute infinity ... god.

The title of enlightened being sounds so prestigious from the perspective of the begginning of the path. I wonder if i'm actually happy starting from the bottom again. Its like starting from watching a couple of rupert spira videos, the confusion of the whole path by taking random gambles to get somewhere that can't be pointed to with the teachers help . Sounds okay as long as you pick a good teacher. I was just about to diss the people leading isha foundations as meditation teachers, but now i realise that i should probably listen to them aswell instead of bagging on them. Thats it they just want to teach meditation, i wonder, do people go to get enlightened or just learn to meditate.

@zeroISinfinity thanks, okay regular dude lol hmm i wonder if i've been a rude person now asking all these questions. Now i acknowledge all of you as strangers. Before i took you in as a building block of myself all acting in one play of life story. i'm so sorry, i was probably acting like a dick, even against the guidelines trying to drive home my false points. That none of you were even accepting . now i just look stupid compared to all actual enlightened beings. i've probably said a lot of embarrassing things - _ - i never even posted formally either and really this is only appropriate for a diary LOL # actuality... i'll move it there via copy and paste

@zeroISinfinity awww thank you teacher. Psssst can't even use your age against you ahah yes it was a conceptual cage, no proof but a believe.

@DrewNows Think about it logically I genuinely don't know lol, what role is that playing but a fool.. a fool does not know, no ? not sure what you meant by is this a game of hide and seek @zeroISinfinity AHAHA felt so bad, the changes to the self-destruction of my knowledge has already taken place, i actually acknowledged you as a fully legit enlightened master and thought "ohh shit maybe i should listen" WOW, lol following without thinking is so easy, jesus that's probably the first bit of information since my indoctrination up until the age of 16 that i've taken in without asking whether its right. ahaha Life seem to flow. like okay cool, now i know what to do. who knew following was so fun

@Key Elements because you are a human, anything you know is still about an ant from a human view ? why not go directly to the human lol like i said, you gave me the insight that caused a self-contradicting idea and destroyed my knowledge structure. Its normal, so let me reply to you after a while.. i need to exsponge all the beliefs out of me, from direct experience. Which is day 1 meditation lol, nothing was direct experience and yet everything was.

Lol that's why i got excited with @DoTheWork thread, because it was the first piece of success in a month i'm such a loser, getting happy at 1% increase in progress lol i'm laughing at myself and i'm also laughing at myself because i got this mentality from dodging society in the first place, that was before i knew i was looking for truth.

@Key Elements it was just a reactive insight. But to your response I'm simply pointing to something deeper than i can explain with words, hoping that any attempts to reach out will yeild results for the past month or so. its my attempt to find someone who bridges the gap between understanding. and no really simply put if you couldn't make a distinction. You would have to destroy your mind entirely. in my theory, there is no such understanding thing as an understanding, so i just clustered it up with enlightenment. You know, no mind = no memory. but obviusly something like this would affect your survival , so as the title says ...

@Key Elements Yourr right its my fault , im interpretiing everything through a human. Who knows what your actual words mean, Thanks, thats it, its my fault for being human and not wanting to go through the traps and create an incorrect path. I get it now. its exactly that not being skeptic of own skepticism in the sense it will never get you a truth thats infinite without a begginning and an end LOL Fine you know what forget the truth, i've changed my mind, if your just going to get a truth and be skeptical of it, then whats the point lol that's exactly what i'm going to end up doing. my new motivation is just to take the path for fun. just pick a person to follow and follow their teachings for fun. I don't even care if its the truth or not. LOL , its not working out as me, so i'll change roles . I'll do what you guys do, i'll do word for word what someone says to me for the next 5 years (reasonable people obviously) , just for the fun of it. i won't even be skeptical. critical thinking goes full circle to instruction following thinking it is what it is , i enjoy the path itself oddly enough, It always amazes me how ridiculous this whole thing is i'll drop all my beliefs and start this whole journey again from the start lol. my skepticism is never if a person is right or wrong, it's just where they fit in the grander puzzle, so i absorb all beliefs and take them to be absolutely true. that way nobody is ever telling me something false, they're just telling me a truth less or more grander than the truth of design i currently hold. For me to search for truth myself would interfere with this model, because i would add my own subjectivity. Now if you used other peoples subjectivity against each other , then now you have a model for building reality. The question is also ,so what does it mean to be at the top. Because the bottom was always a place of lesser truth. Do you see the problem of me asking you this ? when you've used your subjectivity the whole time. You built your own model of your own subjectivity. Never collective subjectivity. Yet all of you exhibit different nows, proclaiming to be the watcher of the current now. So in my model, what actually changed? nothing, you were a subjective person before and still held that subjective view point. because that is the collective subjectivity that i was coming from anyway. The subjective person telling the absolute truth. I never cared about the being, just the content they were saying. still my own limitations were starting to show because then i had to find someone even beyond you to carry it to the end. The absolute truth. what was the connection ? We don't know because now subjectivity doesn't take ownership for its own subjectivity. it meshes together words and experiences, that don't mean the same thing. So now we no longer have a personal subjective problem, but a collective subjective problem, so i thought okay, lets make it independent subjectivity, and now it matched up. The absolute truth equaled the absolute truth. Because now everyone is right , but what about the one absolute truth, what is that? well if its independant subjectivity what is the collective independant subjectivity ... its empty and its nothing... Pure subjectivity to no degrees of subjectivity. but who is having this pure subjective experience of empty and nothing ? Hold up ... a subjective purely subjective being ? how does that make sense ? it doesn't ... because purely subjective is a will of its own by itself. Now were talking about a non-subjective pure subjective being. were talking about true nothingness and emptiness. Not "something being empty and something being nothing" because thats a pure subjective being. Pure subjectivity can extend to infinity because it has no boundaries to its emptiness. But a non-subjective being, would be the very emptiness itself. not purely subjective to emptyness itself. But where is this ? The answer is "not here, no-where literally" because "here" is in emptiness, its just purely subjective. So nobody can tell you if you are right or wrong, because its exactly that .. purely subjective. You need non-subjective being to be absolutely true. But how to get no-here? when we are always "here" .... "no-how" but "here-attempt" But now you see, the very first problem has started again, new claims = new pure subjectivity. So i tried looking for confirmation. but you see, you guys all agree with each other. So now we have a contradiction. an unsolvable contradiction. There is no person who has a collective subjective of all of us because now my own absolute truth has turned subjective. For me to include myself as myself is for me to be subjectively biased. As well as now we are dealing with my pure imagination, my pure delusion. And i am subject to that delusion. So now i start losing confidence in my own design. See now we would need the entire of absolute infinity to come and tell us itself using our own language to tell us which is the higher truth. But we don't have one of those. So it regresses back four levels all the way to normal subjectivity, which leads to all of you being correct. Simply because it can't be any other way. In subjectivity, either i'm deluded and your deluded, there's only one truth. And here we seeing the results of this play out. you see because if i go full circle delusion becomes non-delusion or non -delusion will become delusion. but you see enlightenment is the truth about absolute infinity , so what this is, is basically a theory for subjectivity beyond absolute infinity. because now i've added my own subjectivity to it. Conflation of terms, just like what i think is happening all around. so was it really past absolute infinity and the truth of absolute infinity. i don't know depends what you would define as the "absolute truth" because now you've made it subjective by creating new logic around it. or duality without an experiencer of it. So just plain old theory death is a good thing after all, in subjective terms i guess lol thanks a lot, that's like 8 years of research on the topic of truth theory. hehehe was a blast of a time! thanks for reading guys, i'm glad atleast it was read by people who actually like seeking truth just like i do Synchronicity, identified my fear for what to change for part 2 of fear next week. Homework done See as you'll get to know me over my time on the forum, i don't do religion, faith or beliefs unless i have to. But i don't discount possibilties until they are unprovable. What else can you do, after that. Nothing more its out of your hands I'll dodge mass delusion at all costs, until i can't prove it wrong. At that point, the logic is simple... i would be the wrong one. so the self-evident happening of the event will prove itself and itll be time to go full circle. everything happening just on time. Can't be contradicting myself and let myself get deluded, would just cause a new wave of mass delusion. It would defeat the point itself. All self-contradicting knowledge will destroy itself.

Basically the overall decision is that the experience itself doesnt matter

Nevermind

@outlandish thanks for the knowledge , it was really really helpful this is one thing i'm going to have to give a conscious go at doing no mind distinctions practice thanks once again

@VeganAwake Thanks oddly enough, i feel fired up to do no-mind practice now from that speech! thanks a great amount for the contributions in the past two days

@crab12 god can not escape his own self , where would he go ? the difference is they are two different methods for leaving the physical body

@VeganAwake i'm mind blown lol How the fuck do you survive life without making a single distinction. That's nuts man i tried it for 5 minutes, i obviously still have deeply ingrained psychological beliefs, but the surface layers one went and it was nuts. its total silence and still mind. bro that's not even a joke, that's horrible levels of surrender. How big do your balls have to be to do something like this. You could physically die in the process by not making a distinction. just by chance when your moving in time falsely even something simple like food, not making a distinction to eat and you forget to eat because there was no such thing as hunger and then you physically die ... honestly how do you have the balls for this,

LOOL all i'm saying is if you are enlightened, that is crazy amounts of surrender. How do you do it ahaha Fuck me, that's not even a joke. I just tried it now, imagining going through a mystical experience and not even identifying with it, like nothign has ever happened. You guys are nuts, i rate all of you ahah who ever is enlightened and reading this

@VeganAwake someone in the space of 24 hours, i agree with vegan its a thought of ... i don't know anything and even if i did, i wouldn't know that LOL its like this whole enlightenment experience, was nothing but identification with the mind thats all your trying to do LOL just admitting to yourself that you don't know LOL basically, theres nothing to grasp and its the understanding that you truly don't know , surrender, dis identification from the mind. wow thats a mad sacrifice, no control what so ever thats nuts lol

nevermind thanks,

@Synchronicity I get your experience now, its a vortex in one fluid movement , in all directions. that's crazy, lol who would voluntarily live life like that LOOOOL there's no logical "sense" to it. when i meant is there is no logical sense to the flow of NOW of experiences. Its not in a logical order. its just like letting infinitely many mystical experiences happen to you. would it be accurate to call it "the experience of absolute infinity" i called it nothing - nothing the contents of what you experience are not important to me. Just your direct experience

@Rilles it's hard to explain, there's so much information to get through you have to segregate them into sections. Normally someone would just create seperate thread posts, because its difficult to explain. So do thework writes in exclaimination points, because they emphasis parts of the whole. its emphasis how it is different to the status quo, that's what excalimations are for in human language. LOL Like .... Truth with a captial T NOT truth with a t humans and english ... .always want to exaggerate and use hyperbole see transfer of significant value through non- physical vibration trasmissions or in simple terms "pointers"

@Inliytened1 This is classified as useless information, but it carries weight in misinterpreted form the purpose having imagined a life is to imagine your own death.

Basically the unanimous decision on this forum for you to do next is play some video games for the rest of your life ? that was my original thought on what to do aswell ahaha