Aakash

@SoonHei But it still doesn't answer how i kill this dude! :') i feel like i have split personality at the moment. ^^ i've just continue to self-delude myself. @winterknight you know what i don't actually think i have any doubts really, its just my mind, thoughts, identifications playing up. the self inquiry route is absolute it ends up at the same place. but i keep getting attached to the doubter. which is why i'm asking for some practical answer of some kind. but i'm probably right in saying. you can't give one because its my own illusion in the end.

@Mikael89 nahh don't worry dude, he made sense. its just complex basically, enlightenment is non sense because everyone is enligthened but the trickery of the mind still exsist in the self-deluded sense

its the awareness , i am! in every situation, in everything thats ever happened in this "unified being" known as aakash life. i've always been here. i'm basically seeing its an illusion (the doubter) and still identifying with it. "i" is a very misleading letter I AM should i say is here and now.

Thank you, i checked up a video on the word self- abidance, i understood what it was saying. Those doubts just lead you to the next phase it seems; but then again there are no phases, just remaining as.

@winterknight i have peeled back the layers and discovered the i am , the pure awarness , the true self etc but my mind is the one doubting and creating thoughts that theres more to do etc how do i kill the person doubting and thinking theres more to do. self-abidance is what i'm talking about i understand that its a switch between both self-inquiry where you have to step back and resides as the awareness. but how do i practice self-abidance without a doubter? its a really stupid question because either way i'm awareness at all times, but is there a certain lens so to speak to maintain (the awareness lens) without getting sucked back into the maya and thoughts of self deceptions.

@Shin very very very relevant point, the thing doubting is the illusion, i want to kill this bastard

Thanks this answered my question man even though this is said from my mind, i'm pretty sure i've become pure awareness, i have some mind doubts and self-delusions of it being wrong or that there's more to do to find it. ^ but all of this is said with mind. when i meditate my mind only says one or two thing every 30 seconds or minute or so. so when i close my eyes i can't feel like i have recognised it but with my eyes open (as i've been doing most of it with my eyes open) when my mind shuts i do reside as awareness do you think i'm self deceiving myself mingyur said as soon as you meditate, that is awareness i just got it , but i think again i'm self-decieving with my mind

i have a question if the mind is an illusion that creates illusion or self deceptions, the biggest being "i am" because i means there is a self that is experiencing or is. then how should i talk or refer to myself as consciousness or awareness should i say "we" "us" or awareness is experiencing the fruit going into its mouth (which is 3rd person)

for me mind = self delusion life = whatever my current awareness level is lol

@Shin wow you've sent me into another realisation, i've been doing this for six years thats almost over 40,000 hours of contemplation. thats isane that was 15 hours a day for 6 years.

greetings you are still identifying with your story that you have decided is yourself.. these are the trigger words put together in a sentence even the best of us carry fear deep down inside of us, that don't surface until a trigger is sounded so don't feel too down about it yet when an emotion comes up, just stay with it and don't move for a little while remember to breath and each time you will calm down quicker and quicker fears take a while to process but we either have two choices 1) intensify them by constantly repeating the story in our head 2) nullifying them by just remaining with them until the feeling goes notice both times you can't instantly stop feeling the emotion/ feeling , you have to give your self time to process it to be honest, theres nothing better you can really do in life but process your fears and anxieties as well as self reflect, this will make the future quality of your life much better. becoming conscious of it, is actually a great thing because you know that your the one causing your own pain and not anyone else, you take the victim mentality away from external objects and bring it inwards, which is really painful (i know) but when you let go its even more satisfying knowing you haven't blame others (i know this aswell)

outside the matrix; its nice not to get lost in concept land, its quite unified when you don't take the matrix too seriously its nice but you have to remember that your always at all points in time going to still be living inside the matrix, otherwise you'd probably just be spiritual bypassing or a nature hermit

You should just step back and understand the trigger thoughts that get you to feel anxious, depressed and angry. after identifying these thoughts- write them out and contemplate why these specific words you tell yourself make you feel this way an example would be i hate my body , this makes me feel angry the types of questions you can ask yourself are like 1) does my body need to be a certain size for me to be happy 2) could i do something about my body size 3) does society tell me i should feel/ look a specific way after questioning yourself, you'll come to understand that all insecurities come from a sense of fear locate what you are fearful of subconsciously that makes you think these thoughts and allow some breathing space, and time to work on yourself to face these fears this is one way you can reduce the shit show your ego is not something seperate from you, its the acculuation of all your experiences that make you feel a particular way and repeat actions, if you want to take an answer spritually... you are not the ego, so over time the effect the ego has will reduce , if you work on yourself spritually

there is no location of I, "i" is everything can you only see that there is no dualities, duality creates a seperate self , THIS causes deception after deception and forever for infinity. I am the chair, i am the laptop, the person holding his cat I is the person , i is the cat, i is the experience of holding, i is the wind blowing in the cats eyes, the man eating a cheese burger i is the cheese burger, i is the awareness of the taste, i is the man, i is the concept of the man, the bursting of the hearts arteries i is the arteries, i is the blood gushing out of the arteries, i is the heart, i is the awareness of the bursting heart its not my awareness, its our awareness, i am shedding tears right now, they are our tears , thats love right there, we are crying. we are one The truth is... the true self is .... awareness one experience.

i think this is a misinterpreted statement i wouldn't call it merge, i would just say you start being what you are, merging gives the idea of two things coming together, when really its like shedding of all layers until your at the final layer and you are automatically that thing because you always were that thing in the first place

@isabel How long is the wrong question, because it makes it seem like there was a point in time when i suddenly changed or became something other that is the true self or awareness. this is not the case, you are always awareness, don't take this as some mystical insight or find meaning behind it just yet. i'm simply making a statement of correction i think a more accurate question would be, when will it happen? and to that the answer is what drewnows is saying that it is just a case of how long will you get in your own way, by identification with the mind, as for when i realised that the when the mind is active, the illusion of the mind becomes real when it is able to use thoughts, imagery and distinctions to understand things, so to use the mind to see what you are is impossible because it has to create boundaries within infinity to break down and understand the very thing it is trying to understand. when you use the mind to realise find awareness, you say to yourself I am being aware or what awareness is, but you see, you can't be the very thing itself, if your searching for it. so find out what it is, you need to completely scrap the mind. this includes all notions that you are emotions, thoughts ,feelings and sensations. these all happen WITHIN awarness itself, they are awareness but they're not the final concluding awareness you are trying to find so to speak. when you quite your mind, you become aware of being aware that being aware is your true self, except you still believe that that awareness is yours, this is not the case, awareness is itself the only thing that exsist for anything and to give up the notion of it being yours, you have to see that its your very being aswell as everything else in reality I haven't explained it as well as i maybe could have , but i hope it helps in any way possible non duality is the distinctions you use your mind to clarify things, examples are good vs bad , right vs wrong , happy vs sad, divine vs evil, these distinctions you place on things for example an event where you hurt your finger, you might see it as wrong for the other person to push you and scrap your finger on something. but you have to see that it is a distinction that you are applying that is affecting your own reality bubble. the experience itself is what happened which is what is and what happened, but in non duality terms all dualities are illusions, so the thought that you think this is wrong, isn't an absolute truth and therefore it is considered an illusion by the creation of your mind again hope i helped clarify something at least

probably some time soon, when i get excited again lol @Highest yup yup yup

ITS ONE THING BABY, ONE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

@Jack River yup yup yup non localized experiencing its a beautiful thing. I MUST LOVE GOING SURFING

I am the unified feild of awareness, it is not a field i am experiencing, but i am the experience itself i am everything i am enlightened/ i am not enlightened i am the entire universe there is no suffering or nobody suffering, only the experience of suffering, the sufferer/ suffering and the suffer itself is an illusion i am the whole thing! i am the connection itself to awareness its one ever present whole nothing is made out of anything other than experiencing experiencing is the only thing present in the experienced event the nature of that experience is knowing i am knowing! this is the true self we are all one! its one thing, its eternal, its not even life and its not even death the words i am, itself creates a distinction that this is me but what i really am is everything, all , god ITS EVERYTHING , ITS EVERYTHING there is no time, there is only the experience we are all one unified love, everything is me Thank you rupert spira for the final words

YUP YUP YUP, dude i can't believe you and i are in the same location loooooool, no wonder quantum entanglement is possible. dude i'm in shock right now, i can't believe its not my awareness but our awareness looooooool! how could it be any other way.

Thats what the eye stands for this whole time! lool! ONE UNITARY INDIVISIBLE TOTALITY INDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED! i feel ya brother. one awareness OMG! ITS ACTUALLY so simple, its crazy. How the hell did i even get to this crazy experience loooooooool! wtf... this is so hard to make someone realise, i don't even know how enlightened people do this for a living :')

@Mu_ i keep ending up at the same place, "i am awareness". its the place where all experience comes from. its not even i am saying i am awareness , its just awareness itself i don't think it is my awareness, it is just awareness.

just had the realisation, that the pure awareness i thought i was is still an object i am trying to become aware of (like an objectivity) by use of the method "self inquiry" this is not the true self after the subject (observer - awarness) and the object (the objective- the awareness) disappears and my awareness doesn't seek to awareness instead it becomes awareness itself -pure awareness a) there is no mind action which can help - no words or concepts b) its almost like a process of letting go of the idea that theres a subject c) theres seems to be a false notion of a place to get to my eyes are closed , the beggining layers are dark, it gets darker and darker somehow, then i begin to fall, and regain myself, the objective-ness returns and i start to observe my observation. i have stopped letting go at this point, this is false self , after i wait for the next fall. i stop because it feels like a void i would enter where i may never return back from. it feels like a death. I am not willing to enter this void, because its so uncertain, but i want to go deeper and deeper where ever it may take me. Does this resonate with anyone, regarding letting go of self completely.