Aakash

i have been trying my best to hold onto the silence, i rejected EVERYTHING else why does it feel like i've been transported to another dimension? i've started to stop using the term "i" because i am holding that silence everything like being aware of things i.e birds chirping, food being cooked is happening outside of the silence

@Jkris thanks much love!

@purerogue LOOL thank you

@purerogue what is next! loool there's a next! but seriously i'm too direct to be a teacher, i don't have it in me.

@purerogue loool well i do love talking about the absolute, hmmmmm i guess there's no harm in talking about it my teachings would go something along the lines of, "shhhhhh, be quiet ... see that , hear that .... shhhhhh, right there" that that is only 50% of the journey the other 50 is "silence"

@purerogue ueghhhh i can't lol, anything i say is not about it, but ill try , this might be my posting days over lol

@purerogue yeah i realised how close i was, now its time to just be,

OMG I'M EXPERIENCING SO MUCH HAPPINESS NOW! EVEN ENLIGHTENMENT ITSELF IS A CONCEPT LOL! the individual that says he's enlightened is only a thought HAPPINESS LEVELS (10/10)

@ajasatya @purerogue i'm not gonna lie lol, the last thing in the world across this whole spiritual journey i wanted to do was identify with the wrong thing lol, its okay, its SILENCE! SILENCE IS AWARE OF BEING AWARE

@winterknight it is silence itself that is aware! even if you say "i am silence" that is a thought happening in silence. you can't even put your awareness on silence because you are silence itself! such a strange loop paradox.

@purerogue actually i couldn't until now, i couldn't put my awareness on awareness of the world itself until now,

OHH MYYY GOOD I AM AWARE, IT IS AN OBJECT! I AM AWARE OF BEING AWARE HOW DO I KNOW I AM AWARE, BECAUSE I AM AWARE OF BEING AWARE SO WHO IS THE ONE WHO IS AWARE OOOOOHHHH MYYYYYY GODDD THE ANSWER IS NOT A VERBAL ANSWER thats why i can't answer it, or get you to answer it for me BUT WHO IS AWARE!

@winterknight what about the question, where is the "i" coming from i never seen the find an answer to this, it's like the "I" is an illusion, therefore theoretically it should not even feel like an i it is like i'm the one who is aware of a self i called mine and then it comes from silence and nothing.

@purerogue Yes in other words i can detach from anything in existance, that is how i reached this point, its the same as putting awarenesss on existance itself.

i have had extended periods of being able to be the one who is aware of thoughts, sensations, identifications as a self, anything to do with being human but this itself still feels like an identification in my direct experience when i inquire into who i am? who is the one having these thoughts, sensations, identifications as self, even the letter "i" the answer is always silence, because whenever i go to the "i" feeling, it comes and goes, it comes from silence and goes back to silence my question is, why do i feel like "i" am still this silence? how do i get rid of it? (again i count up in a strange loop, because the one who is asking this question is also the coming from silence, so it's not "me" who is asking the question")

" What exists in truth is the Self alone. The world, the individual soul, and God are appearances in it like silver in mother-of-pearl. These three appear at the same time, and disappear at the same time. The Self is that where there is absolutely no “I” thought. That is called “Silence”. The Self itself is the world; the Self itself is “I”; the Self itself is God; all is Siva, the Self. He who gives himself up to the Self that is God is the most excellent devotee. Giving one self up to God, means constantly remembering the Self. Whatever burdens are thrown on God, He bears them all. Since the supreme power of God makes all things move, why should we, without submitting ourselves to it, constantly worry ourselves with thoughts as to what should be done and how, and what should not be done and how not? We know that the train carries all loads, so after getting on it why should we carry our small luggage on our head to our discomfort, instead of putting it down in the train and feeling at ease?"

@purerogue There is only silence, the "i" thought arises from silence and goes back to silence @Jkris i'm not sure because if i say "am i the one who entered" its wrong, if i say any words, they aren't that, because nothingness is before words, so i can't answer your question in a way. basically any answer i give you, is not it.

@How to be wise ramirashi - "be as you are" good work, thats something i'm struggling with

@peanutspathtotruth its literally the episode i've been watching, the homour is connecting to my soul and i'm getting motivated :') but lets see how long that works for i'm with you, i'm just going to go back to the basics and sort things out from there , i feel my life has gone full circle from never knowing about enlightenment to knowing about it, now back to forgetting about it and doing the classics thanks for your recommendation

while i am unelightened I.E still carry the I for my experience, i've come to the relalisation that I have to accept carrying out my life to the end, even in terms of egoic pursuit of happiness the difference is before i was rejecting my ego I.E doing a hobby for the pleasure of happiness or pursuit of a life goal that may be seen as egoic. for two years i rejected the ego but now i have accepted it and understood either way its god will because its only an illusion that the goal belongs personally to me an individual. so life purposes and enlightenment are actually the same side of the coin in a way. my problem however is i stopped with the motivation of egoic tendencies for two years, only subtle ones exist i.e addictions but big ones the motivation never carried over. How could i get this motivation running again to the live the best possible life that i can that my survival hinges upon it?

@Mu_ LOL so you do alternative healing, what sort of healing is it. ahh man as long as your enjoying it, that's what my life has gone back to the basics - how to live a passionate life

I am slowly beginning to realise how much identification plays a part in the person we become i constantly have so many beliefs that are untrue and all these beliefs all occur because i didn't know my true self like for example neurosis of a human being neurosis occurs because i believe myself to be human being with a body and mind that enjoys to do the addicted activity but in truth, if you take the true self through human, the human being doesn't need anything because it sees the through the belief that nothing is actually happening OR identification to ALL thoughts, i constantly identify and think i am a human being thinking but there is no individual I who is thinking, the process is happening on its own which OR i have fears, anxieties, shadow work, all because i belief myself to be human, but in truth there is only love what ones can you think of?

@Nahm interesting, i never applied it in that way, @Anton_Pierre i think were at similar places dude, this only happeneded to me two days ago , i focused my attention onto crown chakra, without doing the others, the sensation started going down my spine and got blocked at my neck , afterwards i felt pain in my neck so i figured this is what is meant by an energy blockage.

thank you all for your responses, i think i've taken the enlightenment work abit too seriously and closed myself off to the possibilties of finding a passion which i was passionate about finding before. thoughts came over me like : ohh you don't need to find your passion, it will not make you happy only enlightenment will etc .. etc.. however, now i have changed my thinking pattern and but i've become quite a closed person in a way, i used to be very interested in trying new things and now i don't know where that's gone, but it seems i must overcome this problem and genuinely find something i am interested in but thanks i didn't want it to be like that, but i guess there's no other way for it to be and try out new things @Shiva thanks for your post, it gave me courage to understand the path will not be linear

i've been thinking about my life purpose because my will is gods will, but i'm abit confused- i've spent the best part of two years trying to become enlightened and it estentially became my life purpose, i feel so strongly about it, but after i've laid my intellectual foundations, i've managed to seperate my personal human life, from the awareness of the personal life. but apart from enlightenment and learning about reality i don't feel passionate about the human side of life, in more detail i've only ever had bad habits in my life, none which are healthy and good. then i realised that enlightenment can't be a life purpose because a life purpose is a human aspect, it is aware of it. so now i'm thinking about my life purpose from scatch, before i wanted to fight against all injustices (super deluded i was) because that was just my ego, but i've calmed down now and realised it was a retaliation against my thoughts of the world it actually wasn't what i wanted to do, or something i was passionate about. It was such a broad scope "i will fight injustice, there wasn't something specific i had a passion about i.e water quality, poverty, social injustice" so now i'm back at base one with my human understanding of things a tiny bit better than it was before. i am currently doing business management at university, so whether i like it or not, i have to finish this course and incorporate it into my life purpose, i had a raw passion and instictual search for enlightenment, which is what i want with something i am interested about in the human world now that i realised the belief is okay and not just an meaningless illusion. How could i handle this situation and find another raw passion? one of my hobbies is dancing and listening to music, that i feel a passion for but that's not a career i can make, its too late for that as i said i have to incorporate business into it. i used to have a raw passion for businesses but i'm not as excited to learn it anymore since im not staking my life against becoming a millionnaire anymore, so i've lost motivation for it and so its not raww. i don't really sense any other raw passions are hobbies my identification is attached to . SO I'M KINDA SCREWED LOOL! How could i handle this situation and find another raw passion?