Anna Konstantaki

Only because I don´t talk about the work I do all the time doesn´t mean I don´t do it... If I only liked myself when I accomplish work, then I´d have a problem. It´s enough that everyone wants to hear about how much shit one got done in a day or a week etc. This journal is for ME. A place for thoughts, mistakes and ideas without judgement, a place to practice unconditional love. This mind is walking in circles by the way... Not small circles but big ones-adding some information here and there but always flying around the same core questions. It feels like I am repeating myself over and over but it´s just a process of learning. I just don´t have the time-or better-I do not want to spend my time with documenting everything... And who cares? Not even I do! Here´s a picture of a centaurus: <3

There is this movie. It´s called "Permanent vacation", from 1980. At the end the hero of the story is boarding on a ship to get away from Manhattan, where he grew up, to find a better home and meaning in life somewhere else-Paris I think... By the port, while boarding on the ship, he meets another young man, dressed similar to him, at his hight, weight and age, who just arrived. The whole scene had left me with that aftertaste that that better place and life we search has nothing to do with outer space. We want something internally unconnotated to start over new, we want something that feels different in our head. Sure getting around has many lessons to teach but in the end it´s all a run from not doing the inner work. Now, staying with toxic people or at places with no future for your lifes goals is wrong too, but to think somewhere else we can be someone else for too long and not fall in our old minds traps if we don´t take care about finding them... Needlesly to say, I talk about this because I feel the urge to get away. I tasted the strangers life a year ago when I did my erasmus and maybe it was lonely at times but it was the freedom for absolute vulnerability for the first time. Everything just melted away, everything. I mean, I was talking about myself in the third person, as "it" and everything looked so clear to me. I had this feeling that god or the universe or whatever bigger something was with me. I was as well experimenting with diet though, so maybe I was a little spaced out at times, like I got high... But it just felt good and from being depressed and lost and anxious I found safety in me. I had trust because I had no other choice. At that point I had almost zero contact to anyone I knew and it was that I either fuck of and die or do something with the rest of my time spent outside of class. It was the best, the best thing that ever happened to me. I was all I could be and I started healing rapidly from all the shit that was ruling my life before. Surrendering was like leaving, it was like getting out of the body even when walking sometimes. I had to painfully apply awareness to so many things for the first time but after doing so I could stick with it and I was just so astounded about what it means to be human, really as if I was experiencing it all for the very first time. I was alone but it was the best time of my life-seriously. Back here, I came back. The ego came back, the bad habits came back, my friends and my family got in touch with me again, I talk german again... I had completely melted into speaking english with myself and others there-my other selves had slowly left me. (Yes I know, this does not sound like oneness but I like to distinguish between how I am perceiving and acting in each of my languages). All I want is to go back to having only one suitcase of objects in my life, seeing the sunrise and being a stranger. Because by being free in this way I finally took responsibility about everything I was doing and I was doing it out of love and because I wanted to. The question is: Can´t all this become a reality for you here as well? Well, there is another proplem, namely that I was highly inspired by certain teachers and their teachings there. I´m a creator. I love being inspired. That´s like having sex to me. Like at some point I just wanted to open the professors head, rip the brain out and kiss it. My brother makes fun of me for these sapiosexual tendencies sometimes... I am here now whatever... So what can I do? Ah yes, go back to my responsibilities... And be patient... I know, I know...

I just wanted to say that peaches aren´t nectarines. I just feel like fooling around a bit. You know... I´m tired of having a second apocalypse every few days... bit of clarity I was strategizing towards my goal of minimalism yesterday and I am also so impressed by the fact that I can access clarity and peace right now. I don´t need to go to a special place, wear something special, eat something special... Of course many factors play into it but in general it´s all just a trap by...me. It´s a trap to say I can´t. I am becoming a better general on this battle field, I know the oponent much better than I did. I still allow her to win sometimes but the limit of resources does not allow me to spend energy on every little battle. I know bad habits ruin life in the long run but I have my priorities since, even though I fall into doudts here and then, know what I want to do in life. So... Which battle will let me win the war? I am afraid I am fighting too many useless ones still. demonizing da bling bling Another realization of mine is that since I never had much money, I started telling myself that I´m better of that way, looked at the rich or richer lifestyles faults and finaly never felt too comfortable among those people. It´s like those people who say how great it is to ride the bike only because they can´t afford a car... Of course having money does not mean that I need to spend it on crap but my subconscious however has labeled chasing money as bad. Why am I saying this? Because here´s the problem: A good general needs to build up reserves for the soldiers... I need money aside to live the life I want to live one day-even if it is very simple, even if it is not materialistic, I need some security and also the possibility to invest into maybe things that don´t directly affect me, or maybe I´ll have to help someone out whatever having too much money aside is always better than too little. Besides that, should I really take some time for a period to focus on arts only for funs sake or for business or even if I deside to live that more of yogi life plan I´ll need to live from something, I´ll again need a cushion. The next 4 to 5 years will eitherway just be spent with education(s), nearby jobs, strategizing and further self actualization. Not that learning stops after that but at my end twenties and start thirties I want to have overcome this cluelessness about the basics in life I still have. I want to master the basics, know myself and myself in context(s) in depth before I go for any shiny prize at all. In the end the best things I´ll ever do, are spiritual practises, I can´t lie on that one anymore... From a phaze of doudt, stories parallel to mine and freedom... 16.08.16 They have two dogs. Stahti ( aches) and Peyote (sort of cactus). They live in a house... A hutt. They have two grown and smart children, older than my brother and me and have been there since I can think... Even before the big greenhouse and the small orange house and the fish farm were built... When the area was really just the middle of nothing. He lives there with his wife. It´s at the islands west coast, one driving hour from main town. It´s where my dad´s fields are and our house in which I spent the first six years of my life, then most weekends and vacations. I remember once when I was a child, their donkey escaped and came around our house... took a shit in the garden... and left again However, this man, he has been to America, when younger. Traveled as a stowaway with his dog... He has as well walked a whole island with his dog, wife and horse. But I don´t know much about his youth, I only know that he is our neighbour and not like any of the people I personaly know. He has grey, puffy, sort of curly hair and a long beard... He is fit and healthy but only yesterday, I noticed, because conversation brought it, that he has only one and a half teeth. His wife is shining, glowing. She´s french, by the way... He knows a ton about botanics, he sells many different sorts of weeds and teas and spices at the market in town. He´s also got some ordinary fields. He loves plants. He says that plants are entities and he can talk about that for hours. He smokes spices here and again... I will never forget one time his daughter was around and said she was sleepy and he answered that she could fairytail (verb in this case), her sleep, (=so the sleep would go to sleep and leave her alone). That was just so unique and sweet. Giannis, (John), was talking about self actualization. He was talking about spirituality. He was talking about those even though I am not sure if he even knew he was. It was not preachy, just a response to what I was saying. He says he is watching his plants coexist in space and how they take it up, filling it, but still somehow leaving room for more of them. He talked about harvesting plants in all dimentions, that for him it´s not just about growing from the bottom up but left, right, upsidedown, over and diagonal... And he said that he liked to see how from a branch you make a field and from a tree you make a forest. He says that that´s his thing. You won´t get an excited reaction to something you find exciting yourself from him. It´s not that he does not understand it but moreso that he is sceptical about it, chewing it up, applying some criticism and honestly answering. It is not that he is not interested in science, he knows many things but they don´t really touch his life. There is something so innocent and natural but also rational about him. Like he is there with his senses. He would never stop a good conversation in order to do something else. His values are clearly set. My brother used to visit them once in a while and one time there was this mans son there as well. My brother does never say things like this but he said something like "His eyes are like the sea/contain the sea". He has indeed, reached some other level I believe... I remember him very well from the few times I have seen him. Now I actually see how he has clearly gone through the stages of development. After school he tried himself at some natural science, I think it was physics but he dropped out, maybe not only for that reason but mainly because he wanted to make jewerly and live from selling that. He loves doing that. So he went to full blown stage green for a while. Whatever stage however, the memories I have from him in whichever age are that he was very silent and quiet. He is very nice to talk to now, I ´ve heard. Back to the father... He told me that books are good for guidance but we have to experience and practise by ourselves and he has made a self study of certain spiritual authors as I found out. I wonder if these people did it right. Righter. Righter than me. They have found peace and fulfillment without money- they are rich. Their authentic selfs are shining through them. They have love in their hearts, they care...

I finally bought new colours and reworked my old painting... I could not start with my job this week because of some formalities-waiting for the office to tell me that they have what I need and then I´ll be able to start... Maybe better because I still have assignments. I relistened to the how society fucks you in the ass video yesterday... chimp career. society=amusement park for the ego, aims: achievement, power, progress, efficiency, status quo. But those are not my aims. truth is being, not doing. mainstream everything=unhealthy... I don´t think I need to listen to "how to be a man", which got released today... I realized I was projecting my own dishonesty about how much I, myself care about truth. It used to be my brother, who did not just care about the truth- he was obsessed with it. He´d spend sleepless nights thinking about certain things. I am not sure if he sparked my interest in truth or if he scared me with his lostness so that I stopped questioning things too far... I can´t forget what once a really nice woman told us... "The truth is like a sphere, from whichever side you look at it, it looks nice to you." I don´t know who she was quoting (if). But that kinda sticked with me... Perspective is everything. If I said I am a liar and my authentic self is an artist and all this time I´ve just tried to motivate myself into studying in order to suck on societys titt, what then? If I am not a liar and I am really interested in all of this? Are the sources of motivation, whatever sparked the interest wrong? Can they? What about the meaning I give to my work? Does this matter, since I see beauty in my life eitherway? Is the problem what I do, or why I do it, or how I feel about it? I don´t think this gets a simple answer. This is nuanced, once again. I need to trace perspectives back to where they came from but then, paradoxicaly, detach from that source and see them for what they are objectively, either a virus in my system, or something usefull or at least harmless. It is however my own responsibilty to deal with them, since it is MY system they are inside. So, solving the problem is just solving the problem, there is nothing negative or positive about itself or who created it. But how did the filter not filter it out? There can be thousand reasons here but this is the juice of the work-preventing a re-catch, fighting the root. Pure head work. Goes along with awareness... I have to say that my head does not feel the clearest today. Let´s end this here.

does the heart "say" things? does it "speak"?

all this time I was a penguin pretending to be a crane

long day. filled day. energy day. in my head I´ve already told you everything. not about the day. just about everything I want to tell you. I wanted to express my gratitude for having found actualized.org. I can only say: first get "peaced". then get disciplined. works 100% of the time. for me. the "worst" days are the best. Limitless growth. I am happy. Who can I thank for this life? Thank YOU whatever. Thank you... Good night.

paradoxes. so many paradoxes... wow

yesterday I spontaneously interviewed my inner child. I took the whole thing on video. The nuances of sarcasm of my side and her very honest and simple responses on the other... It started funny... But it ended sad with a very sad aftertaste. I don´t know what to do with her. I don´t need to do anything with her. Just take care of us, me... Of both. Nobody will thank me for this but it was totally worth it.

Sounds like a lifetime of homework to me ... give me some silence... my head feels exhausted... at least I get what you say...

Longivety pitfall: You dedicate so much time into preserving body and mind in order to have more time living so that you can learn and experience things that interest you that in the end you don´t have time for exactly those things.

Good morning world! I bless you!

yes!!! weeeeeeee

@Extreme Z7 Good luck <3

...That´s how I want to be like when I´m old... or at least... something similar... ...And my last day here on the island is coming to its end... And I have a couple thousand things to journal about but---let´s better slow down... I´ll be running like a guinea pig in a wheel very soon again... And-whoops somebody is on the door... Let´s end this entry real quiiick

You see... It´s not very motivating to hear this... Scientists have a hard time to create truthful information... Should I say create or find? Note the end of the video. If we delude ourselves using scientific methods, then how often do we delude ourlselves not using them? He says it is still far more relyable than any other way of knowing we have. And I am wondering here: Is this stage orange defending itself? And who cares? Science is valuable eitherway....But I am starting to see it a bit like a game... Make theories, studies, experiments and don´t expect anything from the outcome. If you´re lucky, you found a grain of truth, very rarely a bigger chunk and that´s it. If you create objects, or technology from your truth, your studies and make profit or if you make ideas, models, knowledge that are harder to sell or are even critizing the business, then don´t assume that truth can only be found in one of those ways, that one is better than the other because both can and have changed the world. Both have power. We love to study how things function in order to manipulate them and make them function better or in a way serving for us. And that is fine up to some point. Do we care about the process and what´s true, after all? Or just about the power? Do we care, if we understand, that we understand, that something is real or do we care about the outcome? My generation is growing up in a world of outcomes. If, then what do we assume about the outcomes or the people who made them possible? What do we assume being right and being true? As a child I thought adults know what they are doing, especially people who teach other people any kind of stuff, because why would they be teaching if they were not knowing what they do, right? Whatever you contribute to, if science or parenting or any other domain, you´ll never be more or less then anybody else, just like the information you know and create won´t be. I feel like talking about this is important just as much as it is a waste of time (if it exists and can somehow be wasted but that´s another discussion).

I think this says a lot about this self... A couple of years ago my best friend asked me with who I´d try to become friends with if I lived in Hogwarts. My answer was Luna Lovegood. She was one of the most extraordinary characters to me. The way she was moving in the world, the way she was talking but also the way she seemed distant and away from the others but at the same time observed, understood and knew so much. From the outside she looks quite (only quite) ordinary but the inside... The inside must be lightyears from that of the other. All knowledge from a Hermiony Granger or all bravery from a Harry Potter or whichever trade of the others was not as interesting as an alien perspective of a creature like Luna. Her peace and silence and vulnerability were just so beautiful. I appreciated it that J.K. Rowling created a character like that to cross Harry Potters way with a special friendship. Friendship. Because romantic relationships are more for human like, more ordinary people, am I right Joan? She just had bigger fish to fry...

This mind is so tricky. It´s so tricky. I was, by the way thinking of the music video to the song "the island" by pendulum. The woman is running to chase the future, she running behind her future self. In the future her then present self is being hunted by her past self but she does not know because she is busy always hunting the to that spot in time visible future self. At one point the future self stands still and looks back at her present self, from her perspective past self which is a prediction for what will happen with her in the future, namely she will look back and become aware of the fact that she is being chased and is chasing at the same time. The future self then disappears from that hill it was standing on. The present self is running to the hill to see what happened. On the other side of the hill she can see how the future self fell down and is now disappearing in light and reappearing unaware. This time it´s her (present self) who is falling from the hill, losing her senses and then waking up and repeating the story. We can however make some assumptions: 1. we could be running in circles, repeating what we do forever 2. we can become aware of that 3. we will see that at some point in the future we end (light) but come back 4. the only way to break this circle is to stop trying to catch something we can´t and we do not need. 5. we already know and have everything we could possibly need because our past and future selfs know just as little and are just as confused, scared and lost as we are now. 6. live in the now, surrender 7. the notion of time, of past, present and future might be illusive themselves I had made a spiral of pictures and photos on my bedrooms wall some years ago. In the middle of the spiral I had placed the maze sign of that band. I still listen to their music from time to time. I did not really understand the meaning of the particular video for a long time. Who knows? Maybe my interpretation is wrong... I just wanted to share...

Last week I watched "Room" (2015), which is a drama film about a girl/woman and her son who are being kept in a room for seven years. The boy has never seen the outside world before but with his mothers instructions he manages to escape and sees the real world for the first time. If we ignore the fact that he is way too smart and healthy for someone who has never been outside in his life (TV, his young mother and the ubductor are all he could learn from) , the way he is responding to the new environment(s) is depicted really good. Don´t watch the trailer-it´s filled with spoilers. Building up awareness and doing self actualization is a little like that. It´s a little bit like looking back and seeing that you used to live in "Room", all you knew was "Room", you could not imagine something outside of "Room" and if anyone told you about all those things out there (and "in here") and that they are real you´d call them crazy liers who try to trick you in some way. You´d be angry, you´d hold onto "Room" for a while untill seeing the possibilities of this much bigger world with much more to see and do. The outer world might not fill your expectations (problem of the mother once she gets rescued) but you also have to allow yourself to be happy in paradise, risk and explore (boy having tons of new toys, new foods to taste, clothes to wear, friends to make...). Especially if you suffer from some sort of mental illness, it´s like you are living in a small, small room. Your perception is tiny, your ability to find solutions to your problems are tiny, your energy is tiny. If you get out of there it will be a complete mystery to you how the heck you lived in there for so long. And the people who hurt you, you will wonder how they can bare such a painful life, why make everything so hard? I was facing some demons today but they were not really mine...

7635 So uhm... I am filling up my "holes" here... And um... Uh, let´s just talk about meditation. Meditation by the sea is great. Tried it only twice since I am here but I want to do it again... There is so much noise from the waves and there´s wind and sunlight and all that, so that you´ll be busy with those for a while eitherway. Then you can observe how your body responds to them and then there is detaching from that and going inside, which paradoxically let´s you melt even more into the environment. But what is this energy and happiness? Is that a response to the external, the elements, or is it coming from within? In general I can say that the beginning is usually okay, then there comes a nice part, then there comes a part where I play with the thought of moving and escaping and then there comes an interesting part which prooves that I could keep sitting like that for much more time than I thought and I am feeling that my head somehow loves and my body-... Parts of it absolutely hate it (my legs usually and my spine and the muscles around there) but then it takes all power there is to concentrate into holding onto meditation and onto kind of relaxing into all discomfort. Around that point I usually end the whole thing with a huge sigh of relief... Maybe I should take the time to test how long I can last but I think that is an inauthentic approach. This is a practice and not some sort of sport to break personal records... Or can we compare it to sports? I mean, it´s the opposite of movement... And it´s not competitive but it´s definitely closer to exersice than cooking, studying, writing, eating... Who cares? You sit there and all of a sudden you don´t even want to do the programm anymore and chase all that goals, you just want to sit there and enjoy untill the hard part kicks in, but even the hard part has something so nice about it but still, the desicion to actually sit down again next day is not completely easy... To be honest I feel like I have no idea what I am doing but sometimes my mind creates weird experiences. The other day I was feeling like little waves were hitting my head from right and then left and it felt as if electricity and fluids go ´round in there but it was a good feeling all in all and then there was this no past thought and half of everything got white and then the no future thought and the rest got white too and then the white shrunk into a white light ball but that ball was becoming bigger again and it magnetized me, it felt like I was it anyways but it sort of soaked a bit on my prefrontal cortex and that felt SO good, like for a splittsecond I became one with that-It was that feeling you get when you love someone and you put your heads together and you want to feel their brain, melt together, open your head and his and... Uh... I am bad at explaining those things, but it was as if this desire for immersion or coalision was fulfilled, even if just for that second. Without flesh flying around, people dying, like in le Parfum or something. But it was still uncanny and scary and weird and I am not sure if I am ready to leave in that sense because I know very, very well that this goes much further. I know that it was all just a mental representation, very imaginative and not real. But what I felt was real to me. All I know is that it was amazing and scary and created and percieved. What is it you want Anna? You want freedom, flexibility, energy and playfulness? You want your family to be nice? You want the "holes" closedand all pains forever stop? You want nice people around? What do you want? You want to be enlightened? You don´t want to be enlightened, you are not even trying. And you know it. Or what about success? You are not even trying. You have reached so much, changed so much in the last months but you are still nothing but your fears. Just do it. GIVE. RECEIVE. From yourself. Not selfish. GOOD. Very... Joda... Syntax. Not... Nah...

7634 Okay, so you say except from magic mushrooms and a hand full of other substances, everything else has zero development value? Guess it´s only those listed in the latest video then... I just remembered this guy here talking about his mushroom experience and how his life changed through it... He did some mistakes in preparing but it´s still interesting to listen to... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UlFazaBmv4 I mean... Mushrooms for "treating" sociopathy?

7629 Meditation. Swimming. One dive from diving platform. Walking home. Gypsies. Gypsies mistake for one of their people ... I was watching some interviews of people who used to be part of the GOA hippy movement in their youth with my bro yesterday... https://www.youtube.com/user/goahippytribe/videos Some of them seemed spiritually very developed by the time the interview was taken. The issue of drugs came up again and again (they did not mention shrooms by the way). Most times in a negative sense. There were some exceptions though... I think these people/ cases of development are great examples for one to see what happens when one has some spiritual understanding of life already vs not while making experiences with drugs. I used to wonder why drugs (all kinds) even exist and how different the world would be without them. Now I know that they are neither good nor bad. The hand full of people who's awareness and understanding makes a real gain out of these experiences have such a visibly beautiful development that I can completely support the thought of certain consciousness enhancing drugs as a powerful tool to help one grow at some point of the journey. Back to the video from Sunday... Which is actually heavy material once one manages to get the pictures of Leo hugging buckets, toilet seats and laughing wrapped in a blanket and all that out of ones head. I wonder how it must be like to discover self actualization watching this as the first video... My brother said that he thinks the most important part of the video is, as he understood it, that neither what or how Leo perceived the world during his experience with shrooms, nor what we normally perceive is what's closer to reality as it is, so there must something in between here. I saw more the point in the fact that it is possible to access existential love, to have, as Leo called it, ontological orgasms and all that... This actually reminded me of this women who had some interesting consciousness altering experience after a stroke and went to "lala-land" for a while, experienced oneness and came back... What can I say? It's all very interesting but I am not qualified to speak I guess. Isn't it great that we have art and people can give us a glimpse into their experiences somehow? Trances and floral patterns you said, right?

thoughts on Jesus ... Jesus. Yes, Jesus. Not religiously talking, just some new ways of seeing this historical (as it seems)person, I am discovering for myself... Leo once mentioned Jesus along with Budha and how they have the characteristics of great meditators and enlightened people. What can we really learn from these stories? What is the truth about Jesus? Okay, people didn´t see that the man who called himself the son of god called everyone around brothers and sisters, which would mean that they are children of god as well... So Jesus had to talk very simply to them and as it is with that gap between teachers and students, it can be really hard to start from somewhere, especially when what is tought has many levels and shades and might be something they do not want to hear because it might mean that they were wrong, or did wrong or will be wrong... It might mean that they have to change... What does this remind us of? Self development... This reminds me of something one of my professors once said, he had done fieldwork in Africa and he said that if you tell certain people there a story about some great king who bravely died for his people they might not like the story and even note that if the king lost his throne and was murdered, he must have been not been good enough, unworthy and deserved it... Anyways, so he was not some super human with superpowers, doing wonders, and resurrecting from the dead... He was a master of... Self... Eh... Knowledge? A master of emotions, peace and truth. How do we know? Well, he could "suffer" on a cross but his ability to distinct awareness from thought, to detach the experience from pain, from himself and his love for everyone and everything-from unconditional happiness and peace, which are, as we learned all possible abilities one can train with a lot of labor and patience (bet the gap of information about his early adulthood comes from the fact that it was absolutely boring-he was probably meditating day and night...), these allowed him to slow down the system so much that he was believed to be dead... Then he got some time to recover and... Well, he came back and everyone thought he resurrected from the dead. Sounds all less spectacular, but would make some sense. I wonder what happened first... Did first Jesus talk to "god" or "god" talk to Jesus? I am not sure if Jesus was really hearing a voice he called god and if that would make him slightly mentally ill or super special... But if he heard that voice, it was produced somewhere, it came from somewhere, it was real to him, it had an enormous impact on him and his behavior and on others... My theory is more that he drew the wisdom from himself, from learning by himself. Looks like Jesus distinguished still between god and himself but maybe this is just how others interpreted it through his words. Is it likely that something spoke to him or likely that he created this dialog himself? If he created the let´s call it "god dialog" himself, then how did he do it? Maybe he cultivated awareness and let everything enter his perception, he applied thought to his observations, i.e. logic, order and critical thinking and tried us much as he could to translate his realizations and positive feelings into actions and spread them with language... What did "his father" teach him after all? Simple things, respect, compassion, patience, the power of forgiving, justice, morals, love... Love. Anything else the father gave his son? I don´t think so... The son earned it all himself, he "fought the demons" in the desert, he was alone all the time untill he found his students and even those left him at some point... What is Jesus a symbol for? A half god, blessed and superior? Unreachable? Or a symbol for a small human that found joy in the hardest path he could have chosen? A little human with a couple of values and a life purpose? If Jesus was human and had these abilities, then we can be like him. Can we become like him? That is the question between every heros story, can we be like them? We won´t ever be more or less than anybody else but we have the potential to be like Jesus or Budha or Gandhi etc., so paradoxicaly we can grow endlessly but that means nothing. The hierarchy melts away. Nothing is a big deal, if history changing or not, we all matter but at the same time we don´t. Butterfly effects in the stories of our lives and of those we influence, in the history of humanity vs. the fact that we had a start as a human and as a species-so we will have an end too... Eitherway, we also know now, that it is not weird at all that Jesus had no wife... Why would he need this kind of love or relationship? He had a relationship with "god" already and his existance was probably feeling at least orgasmic most of the time... He had so much bliss inside him, you could give him a sponge of vinegar to drink and he´d not mind you, he really wouldn´t... We don´t need to become like him, we don´t need to believe that he was even a real person that existed but it looks like that he was. He was just a guy who walked the spiritual path untill the very end. He would never want anyone to do fasting for him because he suffered, or burn candles, or pray... He would want people to open their minds to their potential, which is the same as his was. God made man by his picture. Yes, because this god word is just another word for everything, everything is like us and we are like everything because we are one, one big perceiving nothing? Well, okay, here comes the part I haven´t figured out yet and before I could say anything, I can at least already tell that it´s awesome!