Applejuice

@see_on_see What do you mean lol

@Haumea What about everyone else?

Okay, so yesterday at 2 am I was smoking a joint and watching Leo's video " Life is a dream " and at first I was like this guy is crazy how can life be a dream, but then I thought about it and let it sink in and yeah the substance of a dream and substance of this reality is the same. You dont know youre in a dream when youre dreaming, it could be the same here. Then you started saying there is noone behind the scenes. That just resonated with me for some reason. And you kept repeating it and it was like woah there was something there so I sat down and did neti neti. It was very quick and simple. Normally neti neti is very difficult and grindy, this time it was extremely easy and fluid. Like oil seperated from the water. And my ego was very noticable. Like I was looking in onto everything from the outside except there is noone looking. And suddenly it hit me. That sense of someone behind the scenes percieving everything is part of the perception. There is nothing else but perception. In other words, there is no thinker of thoughts and no see'er of sounds and feeler of emotion and smeller of smells. And there is no watcher of everything that controls my body. My body is just functioning and there are just senses and emotions and thoughts. That's all there is and ever was and ever will be. It was so apparent to me. I felt like I was going crazy. Like woah, er this is not normal. I was in this state for about 5 minutes and then I was like no no no I dont want to know this I want to be how i was. I knew that if I become enlightened I will die. Because there will be no watcher and controller of everything. Leo was right that you will literally kill yourself. Lol I can't believe that this happened. I'm not in this state now anymore so I know I'm not enlightened. But was I just really really high or am I developing schizophrenia ( I have family history of schizophrenia ). Or was this actually a peak into enlightenment.

HA! GATEMM lol