Donald

One way to fool yourself thinking that you are making " inquiry " is by challenging only peripheral beliefs ,the ones that are easy and free of heavy emotional charge . If you really wanna test yourself and see if you are doing it correctly check your emotional response . The more resistance you feel the more you are going deep into the " core beliefs" , when you hit those you will really feel what inquiry is .Hope you get lost in the process . lol

Done both , and physical books are way much better then digital , it feels more real to actually have them in your hands , make A little remark here and there . Plus you will not fall off track

This question has always haunted me . How can entire institutions and societies be totally wrong ? Wrong not in the sense that I'm right , wrong in the sense that this humanly made structures do not realize the damage in the long run . What is religion ? I will quote Durkheim " A religion is a unified system of beliefs and practices relative to sacred things " . Believe it or not but religion is the foundation of modern societies , it helped hunter - gatherer groups to be cohesive and strive and it helped most of "modern" societies keep a unified system of beliefs / symbols . Religion kept societies together .Now that was sociology , let's take a look at " group selection", it is the same idea of evolution but in a wider sense , that of the group rather than the individual .In a evolutionary context it would make sense that the most cohesive /cooperative groups will have the bigger chances of survival .It means that now people have to stick together in order to survive ,now lets go back to Durkheim " a unified system of beliefs and practices ", that's what kept groups together . But why religion ? Well because almost every religion offers the distinction between the profane and the sacred . what is profane and what is sacred ? It all boils down to "disgust" ... just stick with me !!! Humans are omnivore , it means that we need to learn what to eat . Let's take again evolution into account , it would make sense that humans will use disgust as a defense mechanism against bacteria and disease , so disgust evolved with humans to help them distinguish " clean " and " polluted " . "We are 90 % chimps and 10 % bees " a quote I read on Jonathan Haidt 's book The Righteous Mind . Humans are groupish but when it comes to the" outgroup "we can be pretty " cruel " . Evolution structured us to be groupish , my group , my city , my team , my nation , my religion etc . Our moral is organized upon experience and since we are social creatures , our society shapes our morality . To close it , there is nothing wrong with religion per se , but when we take religion as an ingroup thing we start to act with " cruelty " upon the outgroup . And if you thing that something is right becasuse the majority said so , well go and read about " groupthink" . P.s : I don't claim to be right , I just want to see where my rationality will take me .

I was listening to a talk by Alain de Botton on romanticism and I realized how deep this goes . We think that the romantic way is the only healthy way to love , yet we never question it . We have been deeply influenced by media ( songs , movies , novels ) and society . I'm not saying that it is wrong / evil I just started to question the idea . Romanticism has several key features like : " Somewhere out there , we will find our true love " , " True love means understanding w/o the need to use words , and if you don't understand me you don't love me " , " When we will meet our true love , we will not be alone anymore ". Such fatalistic ideas lol . This guy is brilliant .

Emile Durkheim coined the term " Homo Duplex " , in the sense that we have a double nature . We strive for our own survival , being " selfish " so to speak but also we want to belong somewhere " groupish " . It doesn't contradict , it makes perfectly sense .

The recipe would be something like this but depends on what you call a " single drum " : a symbol to believe , some inner group competition , fixed hierarchies ... ohhh I almost forgot and lastly an evil enemy .

@Muhammad When it comes to religion it's not enough to see at the individual level , religion is a social thing, it is not only about ego / individual .

Something that helped me was mindfulness. Let me explain how ;when cravings arise there are mental images +bodily sensations +mental noise. Mental images like lighting up a cigarette +bodily sensations like a tickling in your chest , feeling dizzy +mental noise like your self talk ( you have worked really hard and you deserve a break (cigarette) . Mindfulness helps in overcoming addictions , because it brings you in the present moment . Notice that I used (+) .That's what mindfulness does .It gives you a real sense of what is without exaggeration. If you don't have enough awareness instead of summing , they will multiply . And expect that this process will be a real struggle. Don't try to make it easier with food or sex or another habit . Sit there and don't smoke. Can you do that?

@jes You Like Ferrari too?

@jes Hi there!!! Big Leap by Gay Hendrics .

@jes The correct question should be "what will you do if money was not a problem" To me it means more free time, free time to read , free time to meditate a lot more , building a" self actualization house" .With a meditation room , reading room ,contemplation room and a big library . And of course I would consider buying a Ferrari aswell ?

I am not aware of your life dynamics, I can try to give you an advice but it would be generic . It's easy to tell others just "be yourself". LEARN HOW YOU WORK .( I'm saying this more as a reminder to myself ?)

@clytaemnestra Psychoanalysis can be very helpful in this topic. We like things that are familiars to us . In childhood we created early and simplistic maps of how love works . Ex. Maybe our mother was cold and distant but at the same time she loved us . So we create" patterns "of how love should be . Notice that it can be conscious or unconscious. In our early phases of life we had models of love and how being loved should be . We create "pain-love" association (familiarity). But what has this to do with the character traits? It has everything to do . We seek in our partners those "familiar" traits , those pain detectors, that unconsciously make us feel safe . Did I answered your question?

@jes just be careful. It requires a lot of inner work to find what your zone of genius is . Remember we are deeply conditioned by society , we've internalised models ,rules and it's very tricky to find your "calling".

@Amir Hey there! I see you are very excited about this. Keep things simple . Do not overwhelm/frustrate yourself in trying to install multiple habits . Pick one at a time . Start with meditation and make it stick .

@Anton Rogachevski As you experience the feeling of being jealous , pay attention and be honest with yourself . Whatever you are feeling is ok don't tell yourself I shouldn't be feeling this or that .Just pay attention so you will go to the route of the problem as @Mal said aswell.

What bothers you? The fact that someone flirts with her and she is only yours? The fact that she didn't tell you? .Or the fact that you are feeling jealous ?

It's part of it , there is no need to prevent

I recommend you to try the" do nothing " . Just sit there and don't judge your session , just accept it as it is.

Hey , Your expectations of meditation are : I'm gonna feel happy Every day is gonna get better I will have immediate results and so on . Now 1 year is a really long time to suck and yes you will get frustrated, you will get backpain, you will have "bad" days . It will come a time that you would like to quit ...but don't. As Leo said : " Your worst days are your best days " and I've been there Good luck

Time , time, time the whole point is give yourself time and make slow deliberate mindful action . Start testing this with little things wich will not affect your progress . If you don't meditate start meditating .

Hey there ! You have taken the first step wich is noticing that behaviour. I am not aware of you specific situation , so my advice will be generic . The best advice I can give you is NOTICE ( your family members reaction , and your reaction ) How do you feel when they tell you "do as I say "? Or" it should be like this because I know it better than you "!!! Give yourself space to experience these feelings . All the best

If you unplug yourself from it and the need to listen to music will arise , sure you are. Try it for a couple of days and you will have the answer.

@isabel Did you judge her on being a " bad parent" and how you will never be like her ?

It's so simple : Being