B_Naz

When I meditate, I meditate as the observer. I silence the thoughts but the observer is still there, observing the emptiness. I observe the observer observing the emptiness, and this goes on forever. But the emptiness is still something because the observer is observing on the emptiness. It is as if the observer creates something for it to observe onto. I'm saying this because if I were to experience enlightenment (or whatever), I'm observing the experience because I am the observer but how can I trust the observer? In the end, there should be no experiences because the observer shouldn't be here anymore, since I'm trying detach from the observer (or myself). But if I detach from the observer, then there is nothing to experience. Then... What's the point? If there's no point then this is fucking great because nothing matters anymore, I'm free. Then this goes deeper because what I call no experience is no thoughts, yet the observer creates emptiness to observe onto Is this making any sense?

@VeganAwake It's so crazy because when I try to rationalise or understand what is happening, I can see myself explaining it with concepts and I know it's all bullshit yet I can't stop myself doing it because that's the only thing that makes sense. My mind tries to make sense of everything, and I don't know if that's a bad thing but how can I trust my mind hahah. Then that's when I put myself in a endless trap of mind masturbation and I know a huge problem is the rationalisation Enquiry with an empty glass seems to me that I should let go of what is happening, is this what you mean? Once I'm done with meditation, I should 'forget' or 'let go' of what I found (Remembering the experience but not trying to rationalise it)? Then again... That's also a concept. Enquiry with an empty glass but I guess it's only a concept because I made it into one

It's as if there is an architect that created the observer and observation. That gave everything a role, observer must observe and the observation must be observed by an observer. The architect created duality, because it create infinity, and every possible combination and 'thing' must be present

One of the things I discovered is; in order for an observation (or experience) to 'exist', an observer (or 'me') needs to be present to actually view the experience. This goes both ways too, for an observer to exist in the same way, something must be there to observed otherwise the observer can't... you know... observe or experience anything. This is where the language barrier breaks and I can't explain shit. However, Is this the One you describe? One can't exist without the other, hence them being One. Now I see the duality because I'm saying one can't exist without the other but is this why they're One? I just described it in a dual way because that's how my mind works. @Carl-Richard I will never trust myself. I've seen my ego and the tricks it plays on me. The tricks are there for love because it doesn't want to die, doesn't want to be hurt doesn't want 'me' to get hurt, and I want it to co-exist because of that. So I find a hard time trusting myself. I feel like in order to find myself, I need to die to 'see' without bias. But then, the reason why I opened this thread is because if dying is the 'seeing' without bias, doesn't that mean the observer is no longer there, which means there is no observation there either?

Now I'm enforcing a fact, writing down what Truth is when I can't even trust myself. Man this sucks but great at the same time

@Carl-Richard I want to keep looking but here's the thing... Duality is something that the observer found. Duality is a concept that we created. How can we trust this? Maybe there is no duality (which is again something I'm making up), and maybe there is nothing to experience. The Truth should be just... Void... And not the void you create in your mind when you silence your thoughts. I mean true void, with nothing to experience, no observer to create something

I don't think anybody can really answer this question. Live with all your 'flaws', that's how you overcome them. There's a balance in life. You need to be frustrated, scared, doubtful so you can grow and realise WHY you are the way you are

Isn't it beautiful?

you're just guilt tripping yourself dude, you should say fuck it and detach yourself from everything, repress all emotions and don't take responsibility for your life. i see it more as an urge, once the urge is over, you'll want to do more because of the fuckups you've done. in the end, you should be more aware of what happens when you let yourself go works for me at least

I just bought a ton of meatless mince/ground meat, has soya beans and other stuff in it It's a shame that I can't buy it at my local market, but I can order them, so that's cool I still eat meat but, slowly cutting away

@wk197 I would tell myself "What if I actually did that..." "What are the opportunities it would open for me" Basically what previously has been said. Imagine the expansion and and growth you can get if you just did that one thing BUT most of the time I give up though lol. However, I only give up at that time. I take a break, prepare and try again. Never truly gave up

@Serotoninluv Oh yeah actually I've seen this before. You can even eat them raw lol, I should actually look into these at my local market, thanks for the suggestion

@Serotoninluv Protein shakes are great, couldn't meet my goals without them We're living things too right? We're going to be eaten by the Earth and bacteria

Yea it does. I still go to university, and picked really 'difficult' modules and dissertation because I get more out of it. I've have learned so much from university despite me breaking down about how hard everything is Once you try something difficult for you, you literally get stronger. I use to be scared as fuck to even book an appointment for the doctors, but now I make conversations with the reception. All uncomfortable things will eventually make you comfortable. Just have to keep doing it

I justify to eat meat because I workout. I need the 9 essential amino acids at a cheap price, which plant-based foods can't provide apart from certain ones like soya. I drink soya milk everyday, but I don't have the time or education to be a full-time nutritionist. Sure, some combinations of plant-based food like peanut butter and bread can provide me full complete proteins, but I also count my macros and have a specific limit of how much protein, carbs, and fats I need It's easier to eat meat than to eat plants. That's why I eat meat

Self-actualisation is everything in your life. As soon as you started your self-actualisation work, everything you do is in the moment and part of the journey. Your job is part of the journey too. You need your job to give you insights to how the humans live, why we work, and will teach you a few things like sacrificing time for a living. So maybe try and incorporating your consciousness work into your actual job, like for example when you're on break and eating your lunch, instead of eating with friends, or being on your phone as you eat, think about deeply about your consciousness work, write notes on some things that worries you, your emotions.

@lennart If you have the vision, I think the discipline will come. Could you imagine yourself meditating on top of a fucking mountain? You can do it dude! Goodluck

@lennart My vision is currently to be a software developer and make programs to help the world. I want to be like Elon Musk, creating crazy shit like artificial intelligent cars, and I want to create those sci-fi utopia societies like in Star Trek (those crazy these like a scanner detecting a broken bone). I want to literally create programs because it enables so much things to be done, like me replying to this thread since It wouldn't be possible without software and I want to contribute to that. Why? because I feel like I need to carry on the advancement of technology and reach to a technologically advanced society (btw I'm still a student, studying Computer Science, about to go into my 3rd year, since I failed to get an internship for the year, ahh well) That's my main vision, but also my second vision which is a smaller goal of mine; to be bodybuilder. I love bodybuilding and building muscles, looking like an absolute unit (of course for me, not to show off, I've always been interested in muscles) The practices I do are to program for around hour or two daily, and then to go to the gym/diet. I go to the gym 4x a week, and my diet has always been the same, eggs, oats, chicken, mixed vegs, rice/pasta, yoghurt, milk and soya. I've been very strict with it, and I've deprived myself from all fatty/junkfoods because that's what it will take for me to become strong and lean. I didn't need practice discipline to get this I wouldn't have programmed or go to the gym without my vision. The vision keeps me going. I don't meditate anymore, nor do any consciousness work. I have in the past and I have gained A LOT from it. I've stopped doing it because it wasn't part of my vision yet. It explored crazy issues like my existence and the meaning of literally everything. But these issues won't make me into a programmer or software developer. However it helped me understand who I am, how my emotions are, what my thoughts show, and it helped me create tools to diagnose myself. It also REALLY enforced my vision.

@lennart That's awesome, have you tried going deeper into this goal? If you want to by physically fit, perhaps prepare to run a marathon, or try weightlifting, create the ultimate body that can endure any physical activity! If you want to be mentally healthy, then try and create emotional mastery. The reason I've been saying all of this is because you need to grasp the idea of what an actual vision is. An vision is you striving to be the absolute best human you can possibly be. I found that if you can find this vision and work on it, your behaviour will change rapidly. Master one thing, and move on. I just found that if you have a vision that you are truly committed to, your body will send signals to try and achieve that (and your ego will fight, and that's ok, observe why it's fighting) But it seems like you are very aware of your behaviours and actions. That awareness will help you out a lot, but it will only help if you stop feeling guilty and start questioning on why you're doing these behaviours

What I would suggest you to do is to work on your life purpose. You should have a literal mental image of yourself at your best, at your self-actualized best. This is so that when you do go off track and start indulging in negative behaviour, you can remind yourself what you are working for, that is, you're ultimate best. Also when you finally figured out what you want truly want to do, the routines and positive behaviour will come naturally. For example, if you had fastfood for dinner, don't feel bad about it or guilty. Remind yourself of what you are working for (the life purpose) and learn from your mistakes. It gets to a point where you will actually physically feel sick from eating fastfood So my suggestion would be to work on your life-purpose, create and visualize that image/purpose and remind yourself everytime you mess up

I see thoughts as the environment in your mind. It's the clouds, the oxygen, the nitrogen, the life in your mind. If it's damaged like you experiencing trauma, then it is most likely a sign that something is wrong. If you constantly think negative, you will become negative. In the same nature here if you keep worrying and having repetitive thoughts on the trauma, you will become the trauma and it will control you So yeah, I think it's a sign, and with the question about being an illusion is a much deeper topic that won't really help you with the trauma. What will help you is facing the trauma head on and letting the feelings out. Think of it as caring for the environment that is your mind Deal with the trauma or go to therapy if you can't

@Hansu Are you saying that all people of society drinks? Are you also saying that everybody is stupid? This is just one instance of stupidity in my opinion that requires no approach. Meaning, you don't need to change anything. Sorry if my post implied that the solution was to cut ties, but the intention itself was to do nothing because you can't do anything. You can't always change the opinion of others easily and if you try doing so, it's a waste of time because they're most likely not going to listen, especially if they judged you and even given you less respect for not drinking => not being open-minded

I don't think you should approach the situation at all. You stated your disinterest in drinking, and if they instantly become disinterested in you, then its not worth your time with them A human being who judges you for not drinking? That's stupid as fuck

Frequent thoughts, as I understand it, can happen when a memory is associated to that thought and so, it's recalled. Thats why things like a childhood toy can trigger thoughts of your childhood because you have an memory associated with that toy Try to see how your memory of the thought plays in its recalling. If there is a memory association with that thought then there's your root So perhaps it's a memory that causes the thought. But if you can't find any memory of the thought, then the above replies would probably be a better suggestion

I would also suggest going on Actualized.org/blueprint It's Leo's wonderful blueprint to kick start your self-development I would focus on Life Purpose and Strategic Thinking in the blueprint first, and watch Leo's videos based on those topics.