B_Naz

@VeganAwake It's so crazy because when I try to rationalise or understand what is happening, I can see myself explaining it with concepts and I know it's all bullshit yet I can't stop myself doing it because that's the only thing that makes sense. My mind tries to make sense of everything, and I don't know if that's a bad thing but how can I trust my mind hahah. Then that's when I put myself in a endless trap of mind masturbation and I know a huge problem is the rationalisation Enquiry with an empty glass seems to me that I should let go of what is happening, is this what you mean? Once I'm done with meditation, I should 'forget' or 'let go' of what I found (Remembering the experience but not trying to rationalise it)? Then again... That's also a concept. Enquiry with an empty glass but I guess it's only a concept because I made it into one

It's as if there is an architect that created the observer and observation. That gave everything a role, observer must observe and the observation must be observed by an observer. The architect created duality, because it create infinity, and every possible combination and 'thing' must be present

One of the things I discovered is; in order for an observation (or experience) to 'exist', an observer (or 'me') needs to be present to actually view the experience. This goes both ways too, for an observer to exist in the same way, something must be there to observed otherwise the observer can't... you know... observe or experience anything. This is where the language barrier breaks and I can't explain shit. However, Is this the One you describe? One can't exist without the other, hence them being One. Now I see the duality because I'm saying one can't exist without the other but is this why they're One? I just described it in a dual way because that's how my mind works. @Carl-Richard I will never trust myself. I've seen my ego and the tricks it plays on me. The tricks are there for love because it doesn't want to die, doesn't want to be hurt doesn't want 'me' to get hurt, and I want it to co-exist because of that. So I find a hard time trusting myself. I feel like in order to find myself, I need to die to 'see' without bias. But then, the reason why I opened this thread is because if dying is the 'seeing' without bias, doesn't that mean the observer is no longer there, which means there is no observation there either?

Now I'm enforcing a fact, writing down what Truth is when I can't even trust myself. Man this sucks but great at the same time

@Carl-Richard I want to keep looking but here's the thing... Duality is something that the observer found. Duality is a concept that we created. How can we trust this? Maybe there is no duality (which is again something I'm making up), and maybe there is nothing to experience. The Truth should be just... Void... And not the void you create in your mind when you silence your thoughts. I mean true void, with nothing to experience, no observer to create something

When I meditate, I meditate as the observer. I silence the thoughts but the observer is still there, observing the emptiness. I observe the observer observing the emptiness, and this goes on forever. But the emptiness is still something because the observer is observing on the emptiness. It is as if the observer creates something for it to observe onto. I'm saying this because if I were to experience enlightenment (or whatever), I'm observing the experience because I am the observer but how can I trust the observer? In the end, there should be no experiences because the observer shouldn't be here anymore, since I'm trying detach from the observer (or myself). But if I detach from the observer, then there is nothing to experience. Then... What's the point? If there's no point then this is fucking great because nothing matters anymore, I'm free. Then this goes deeper because what I call no experience is no thoughts, yet the observer creates emptiness to observe onto Is this making any sense?

I don't think anybody can really answer this question. Live with all your 'flaws', that's how you overcome them. There's a balance in life. You need to be frustrated, scared, doubtful so you can grow and realise WHY you are the way you are

Isn't it beautiful?

you're just guilt tripping yourself dude, you should say fuck it and detach yourself from everything, repress all emotions and don't take responsibility for your life. i see it more as an urge, once the urge is over, you'll want to do more because of the fuckups you've done. in the end, you should be more aware of what happens when you let yourself go works for me at least

I just bought a ton of meatless mince/ground meat, has soya beans and other stuff in it It's a shame that I can't buy it at my local market, but I can order them, so that's cool I still eat meat but, slowly cutting away

@wk197 I would tell myself "What if I actually did that..." "What are the opportunities it would open for me" Basically what previously has been said. Imagine the expansion and and growth you can get if you just did that one thing BUT most of the time I give up though lol. However, I only give up at that time. I take a break, prepare and try again. Never truly gave up

@Serotoninluv Oh yeah actually I've seen this before. You can even eat them raw lol, I should actually look into these at my local market, thanks for the suggestion

@Serotoninluv Protein shakes are great, couldn't meet my goals without them We're living things too right? We're going to be eaten by the Earth and bacteria

Yea it does. I still go to university, and picked really 'difficult' modules and dissertation because I get more out of it. I've have learned so much from university despite me breaking down about how hard everything is Once you try something difficult for you, you literally get stronger. I use to be scared as fuck to even book an appointment for the doctors, but now I make conversations with the reception. All uncomfortable things will eventually make you comfortable. Just have to keep doing it

I justify to eat meat because I workout. I need the 9 essential amino acids at a cheap price, which plant-based foods can't provide apart from certain ones like soya. I drink soya milk everyday, but I don't have the time or education to be a full-time nutritionist. Sure, some combinations of plant-based food like peanut butter and bread can provide me full complete proteins, but I also count my macros and have a specific limit of how much protein, carbs, and fats I need It's easier to eat meat than to eat plants. That's why I eat meat