electroBeam

I know that all girls are driven by nature to a certain extent and of course basic flirting is needed. Of course the basics like approaching girls and getting a first date is needed before we talk about anything. But women all get attracted differently, and ive noticed that when I approach egalitarian girls they tend to appreciate different things to the traditional Orange stage girl. For example the egalitarian gets more turned on by my interesting personality, and is ok with my money situation. The Orange stage girl is ok with my personality but gets turned off by my money situation. The egalitarian girl enjoys going on dates in the park. The Orange stage girl gets offended if you ask her out to anything other than a high fine dining place. Asian girls with blue stage mums care about whether I have money and skills to run a house hold and give no fucks about anything else. The majority of pick up(like Neil Strauss) assumes you're talking to a girl who cares about wealth, social status etc. This isn't what every girl is after. And I'm not after a girl who cares about these things. I'm looking for pickup which is designed for girls who value their independence, cares more about living meaningful experiences over wealth and social status. What I found is these girls care the most about how genuine and honest you are. They also care about how comfortable they feel around you. But I want some pickup experts to back these nooby observations and build on top/teach me how to master it further. If it doesn't exist guess I'll need to be the pioneer but surely it does.

Its not apart of having a long term relationship. Doing this stuff is great for attracting girls - and having fun with it if that's your thing - but if your thing is to have a long term relationship, going deep with all of this attraction stuff is a waste of time. You might be able to attract any girl, but that wont help you sustain in a long term relationship with that girl. If you want that you need to chuck all of that pickup bullshit out of the window. When I'm looking to start a relationship with girls, its more of a best friend connection. Its not some sort of expressing your masculine alpha male dominance like what you're trying to get out of it.

Really hating my part time job - totally burnt out. Contemplating on making a job change. Re identified my top 10 values. I need adventure and appreciation of nature in my life. I also need creativity and imagination, I want to design things. I'm looking to see if I can make a business out of drone photography. A close runner up is conservation science. I really like the idea of drone photography - gets me out in nature and allows me to fly drones which are cool. But art tends to be highly subjective and therefore its hard to gauge your performance in increasing your skill in making good photos. I could make a science out of it though by trying a bunch of different art techniques and themes and gauging which ones are most popular.

A journal documenting my struggle to get the life purpose I want. Will post and review progress to determine future strategy. Posting here publicly with the intent of using it to get advice on situation, hopefully if things go well inspire others, connect with like minded people. Will post weekly: what emotional traumas I had to overcome or have to overcome. What fears I endured, what mistakes I made, what achievements I gained. Current situation: 1. Doing a startup(as a CTO). been doing it for past 2-3 yrs. Medical startup therefore will take a while to exit. 2. Working part time as an AI engineer to pay bills. Hate both of my jobs. Hate engineering and science. Dropped out of uni to pursue startup. Hate being the CTO. Passion lies in the occult. My dream job(LP) use occult practices to prescribe therapies to reducing suffering of individuals(sort of a physiotherapist who uses occult instead of body movements). Current plan to get there: full time do startup. Part time practice OBE and astral projection. plan: get financially independent through startup, then proceed to practice LP 10+ hrs a day not earning money(doing off donations). I will practice LP part time to hone skills while startup takes time to exit.

What is valuable about it? What do you use it for? What do you not use it for(compared to Psychedelics)?

Yes that's correct. But not always(like Amazon, Uber, etc).

sorry, that was meant to be a joke

@Anna1 When the ego goes, where will I go?

no, people will be watching entertainment for centuries before they grow past it. Culture changes incrementally, not over years or even decades. It moves so slowly that people don't even notice it. Just like tectonic plates. Did you notice that slavery was recently abolished? Did you notice that recently the internet has pretty much replaced television channels for movies? In the same way if people go beyond watching entertainment and focus on impact, you wont notice it happened because of how slow it would have moved. etc: there are a lot of interesting properties associated with large corporations compared to small ones. If you like theory you can check out complexity theory applied to business.

Amazon is much bigger than Disney. The bigger the company gets: - the more control it has over the planet - the more likely its going to collapse over its size (similar to Roman Empire) - the more likely a smaller startup will provide value to a niche segment of its target market and take that over - the more likely a smaller startup will totally disrupt it - the slower it takes to adapt to its environment, making it suceptible to a collapse with rapid change of environment, making other smaller startups take it over. etc etc etc.

I'm struggling with some issues and need guidance on how to get better. I have been in a relationship for 2-3 years. As far as im concerned this person was perfect for me. Understood me, satisfied my intimacy, gave me love and support. I have sacrificed part of my career, my parent's relationship with me, and uni for this person. Recently she said she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. She use to love me but now we have just grown apart. She is attached to me and loves me but can't see a future with me. Our interests are different(mine is spirituality, shamanism, etc hers is having a baby, having a family, etc) and feels we are not compatible. This is surprising, I didn't expect this. We barely fight, we do activities together, we have intimacy. She doesn't want to break up now, but I can feel it's going to happen some time in the future. I sincerely appreciate her for giving me a warning rather than just leaving randomly one day. True respect for that. I basically have no friends, haven't talked to girls in ages. I barely connect with human beings because I'm autistic, so different than everyone, and view the world differently. I am concerned i won't find anyone again. How do I find someone who is mature, caring/loving, open minded and accepting? What spiritual groups are great to meet people? What type of personal development do I need to do to overcome my fears? Therapy? Self esteem? I don't want to make things worse with my current relationship. I regret not being better and for the last months of it want to make her feel as cared for as possible. I don't want to have any regrets of not trying my hardest or being my best. If it's going to end, I want to end it on a very good note.

Why don't I connect with people? 1 Concious step closer Background I dont(and haven't since I was a child) felt connected with friends, relatives, etc. The biggest issue with this is I care deeply about my career, and not having the charisma, or ability to connect with people affect that. People don't trust me, aren't interested in talking to me, and don't help me. I have no idea why. I can feel I don't connect, that I don't relate. Everything he or she cares about, I don't care about. His/her opinions about life do not align with me. She/he sees the world one way, I see it another. The person cant find a common thread to connect with me in, to share a common experience, im different in every way. They feel like they are talking to an alien, someone outside the social norm and this scares them. Its uncanny, something isnt right. They can sniff im being inauthentic, trying to be normal when im not. They hate being in this feeling of uncanny. Am I wasting my time with this person? Is this person safe to talk to? Is talking to someone as uncool as this affecting my social status? They leave at the first instant possible. Having said that, it's not like this with everyone. There are some people out there that are just so joyful, so charismatic, so happy that they can turn the uncanny sensations they feel from me into something comfortable - if they even need to consciously put effort here at all. But this is 1/10 people. Insight What i experienced today was awe striking. I was at a networking event. I was alone, which is quite normal, watching everyone around me having their conversations over beers. There were clusters of people all mingling together. As I was listening to their conversations, suddenly all of the semantic meaning of their speeches just dropped. Instead of listening to their words I listened to the energy that their words were spoken with. I became conscious of their auras, their vibrations. And I saw with my own eyes, that rapport was not being developed by what they were saying, but rather by the orchestration of people's energies/vibrations dancing with each other in a synchrony. Wow all your life you've been brought up with the importance of the words you use and how you use them. Then I just had the experience where the semantic meaning of what people said was not a cause, but a side effect of the interactions of energies between people. Why can't I connect with people? Its not my body expression, it's not my smile or lack of, it's not the way I dress. Its non of that stuff. Its my energy, my presence, my aura. What I say is almost unimportant(surprisingly!). Its literally the energy in the words i say that count. I could say "your dick is quite small but i like you" and if i say it with a strong, present, comfortable presence and energy, they wont feel uncomfortable. If i say "Hi pleasure to meet you" and say it with an anxious energy, they will run a mile. At the end of the day, it doesn't solve my problem because my vibration/energy does not resonate with theirs, but it gives me a deeper appreciation for what is causing me to not connect with people, which is significant for me personally.

This is a diary semantically documenting major insights and discoveries. It's pretty clear to me what the difference between an insight and an awakening is. It's sort of like once you have an insight or awakening you instantly know it is one. But incase people have different definitions I will describe mine below: 1. An insight is becoming conscious of how a part of reality works, or becoming aware of the nature of something as being belief rather than truth. 2. An awakening is a discovery or becoming conscious of how reality works all at once. It's an insight which becomes conscious of all of reality. I'll start off with my 2nd awakening experience(just happened): was practicing self inquiry. I focused my awareness on the thing behind the eyes. The me, the ego. I asked myself "where is this thing in the present moment. How do I know it's real? Why do I think it's real". Something totally unexpected happened. Imagine a window. Imagine all your life you have been looking at the dust on the window. Then all of a sudden you see what's outside the window. The cars, houses, trees etc. The dust becomes insignificant. That's what happened with 'me the ego. I was focusing on becoming conscious of the ego. Then I saw past or through the ego, as if it was that dust, and saw myself as the present moment, as consciousness. It was like the ego transformed from being some soul or voice in my head, to being all of reality. Important stuff learnt from this awakening: 1. The ego is NOT a personality, soul, devil, demon, "ghost inside your head" as Leo called it in his survival video, an enemy, a distraction, who you are, a person, the body, your mind, etc. The ego IS misidentification(period). Fundamentally, essentially misidentification. Thats it. It's only function is to misidentify. 2. To get good results with self inquiry, practice placing awareness on purely your identification. who are you? What do you think you are? What ownership is going on in consciousness. What is it that is owning stuff? Focus real hard on identification itself.

Your videos are founded upon personal sniping? That's literally your technique. Even if it isn't, personal sniping is a great way to knock sense into someone. I welcome everyone to snipe me. So long as the person being sniped truly cares about changing and truth, it can really open them up to their delusion.

Had a sleepless night last night. - felt guilty for living at my parent's house, using up their money, not being mature enough to have my own place. - felt guilty for quitting my degree(against my parents' wishes.) - Feel bad for being so bad at uni. I did 2 yrs and failed 1 year of that before dropping out. I genuinely believe I studied more than the average student, yet due to factors out of my control failed uni. To save face I've told myself a story that I failed uni because I'm much better at practical, real life things than theoretical academic stuff... but this is just a story. What if I'm bad at real life as well? Why am I the only one with this problem? Why is it that I suck at uni? Why can't I be normal. How did all my peers study half the time as me, but get much better marks? - under heaps of stress because I've told my parents that the startup will succeed. If it doesn't I will need to go back to uni... which as far as I'm concerned is something I'm very bad at and am not interested in. It sucks my soul dry of life. - My part time job is another startup, doing engineering(something I hate) and supports the bills for both me and my girlfriend. Stressed about the possibility it fails, on top of that my lack of motivation for it might get me fired, which means going back to uni. - Its so hard pretending to investors that you're something youre not. I put on a show, and they start assuming Im smart, got high grades at uni, "born to be a software engineer","genius hacker". And they treat me like one, give me impossible deadlines, hard to solve tasks, tasks i hate. If only they knew what was happening inside, if only they knew the real reason I quit uni. The cost of being authentic is loosing this company. Even though these fears lurk me from time to time, I must remember to not take this life so seriously. This universe is a tiny spec compared to all of the universes out there. It may seem sometimes that this life is all there is, that your worldly affairs are life and death, eternal hell or heaven, but they arent. Try to enjoy it as much as you can.

A Secret Intelligence of the body It was discovered that the ego claims an intelligence of the body which does not belong to it. How it was discovered Was doing Shambhavi, the part where you block the left and right nostrils repetitively. Asked the question "who is the one blocking the nostrils?". Was noticed/observed that the nostrils were not being blocked by 'me'. I.E. I(the ego) was not controlling my fingers and hands, I was not 'doing' the meditation. The meditation was occurring through an intelligence not associated with the ego. I was not in control of the intelligence(which is counter intuitive to what I thought before, before I thought I was the one doing the meditation. That is incorrect). Technical Notes I'm not sure if 'free will doesn't exist'. Or if free will is an illusion. From my POV, while I am not the one controlling the body, my consciousness clearly does affect how my body is controlled. I can certainly influence my body's movements consciously, I just am not the one controlling it. I can also clearly sense negative and positive sensations and how these sensations will affect what my body chooses to do. Implications of this discovery In the past I have struggled to keep up my meditation, figure out how to make my meditation my effective, etc. If however, I stop trying to control my meditation (instead of me do the meditation, I let the meditation do me) I can observe objectively how the meditation goes and become aware of the blockers and things that make my meditation ineffective, or make me want to quit my meditation prematurely. I can then put myself into positions which remove these blockers, or simply allow the awareness of these blockers cure them, I.E. let 'God' handle it.

Theoretically true, but not always true in practice. Alternatively(like in my case) your love for your startup comes from the desire to retire on millions of dollars to seek all day. If cleaning horse shit in a paddock may one day give you a life to retire and seek, cleaning horeshit all of a sudden becomes the most exciting thing one could do. It becomes an opportunity to revolutionise your consciousness, and the world's consciousness. And just having that sincere intention makes you far more efficient and intelligent at cleaning horse shit.

try Sadhguru shambhavi if books aren't your thing

But if you can't find any work you love, you're next best bet is to make a million dollar startup, retire then seek all day.

a certification's function is to keep the certified seeking approval from others. meditation is beyond seeking approval. therefore meditation certifications are an oxymoron.

yep this is why radical honesty in the way.

it is psychologically dangerous. No reports of physical danger yet.

harmalas are completely safe and are not lethal. Check your sources and research before posting. its dangerous to take NN-DMT without harmalas. NN-DMT have been repetitively shown to cause bad trips and in some cases PTSD if taken without harmalas. Of course I'm talking about NN-DMT.

Are there any paths out there, mystical or psychic ones which focus on developing intuition, being exposed to relative insights, and creativity? For example, your life purpose is to be an inventor. So you want to invent highly extraordinary things like dmt machine elf technology. You want to be exposed to highly altered states of consciousness and wisdom. You want to bring back your learnings from these altered states of consciousness and make use of them by inventing new and innovative technology. There are some occult traditions in ancient Egypt which have tid bits about this sort of stuff but nothing substantial. I would assume the kybalion has some useful stuff for this but haven't ventured that area yet.

inquire deeper into what's wrong with your current state of mind. Inquire deeper into where the suffering is coming from.