electroBeam

just had some san pedro. Due to low alkaloid content + probably prepared it improperly, trip wasn't that big(felt like taking a little molly), but got an insight would like to share: If you feel bad about procrastination, what you generally think is you're feeling bad about being lazy, having poor discipline, etc. When you are productive, you're happy because you're living up to those morals you've set for yourself. On san pedro (actually molly hahaha) I got in touch with God's infinite will. God has a direction, a push, for something. But God does not desire, or try. God is not determined like how humans are. God pushes in that direction, no matter how much effort is necessary, simply because he IS that push. Its a bit like an apple falling off a tree. Apple don't fall off trees because they want to, but because that's what they are, that's what gravity is. It does it simply by existing. A perfectly determined, willful person would be an actualization of God's will. They would push through effortful tasks, and not procrastinate not because that's what they want, or desire. They would not use mind games to push through resistance, they would simple do the heavy lifting because that's who they are, like the apple falling off the tree. When you get disappointed due to procrastination, you're not actually upset about being lazy, someone who procrastinates, etc. You're actually reacting to your misalignment with God's will. There's a misalignment with your will and God's. That's all that's going on. In terms of what to do with this, if you have these problems, while meditating or going on a psychedlic, inquire about God's will. Once you've tasted it, if you feel like procrastinating, remind yourself of God's will. What it felt like, where it resided, then remind yourself that aligning with God's will is what will overcome these problems.

@cetus56 yes I did! But I kept the skin... that may be a contributor. I also think condensing it may help with vomiting. I just assumed it helped with eating only. But extraction I think would significantly reduce vomiting. Surely the body wouldn't bother vomiting something as small as an extract.

@cetus56 Unfortunately not. But a bigger thing on my mind is figuring out how to not vomit on the next round hahaha. I'll probs try an extraction or more refined/condensed tea next time.

During the trip, it was meant in a very harsh, strict sense. Even using visualisations and affirmations were considered mind games. Anything at the level of intellect. But for the purposes of the post telling yourself "do this otherwise you're lazy" or "you're even more lazy than your mum/dad" sort of negative feedback, "if you do this then good things will happen to you" sort of naive optimism, etc. Rather there may be value in inquiring about why you value determination and strong will, and connect with it on an experiential level, rather than play mind games. hahahaha... I chopped about 1 foot and 5 cm (2 inches) into pieces to make a bunch of star looking things. I cut the white parts off of the stars and just left the green with some white parts. I attempted to cut off the skin, but due to my inadequate technical skills decided to leave it on. I put it in the blender with boiling water, blended it to a sludge, put the pulp through a strainer and then left it for 24 hours before consuming. The cactus was a bit thin, might have been 4cm wide (1.9 inches).

@Aaron p And if this person accidentally, non consenually clicks on those links and finds himself in a position that he never meant be in, what postal address should he not send it to, in the case that it gets tracked in the mail and traced to their house? Should he not use a PO box? How should he not get one of those?

Yeah a vegetable garden but for hallucinogens. What do you feel about synthetic vs extracting it yourself? Extracting it definitely reduces the amount of cactus you have to eat.

Yes its totally sustainable. What are startup entrepeneurs? They are polymaths! They are good at marketing, engineering, personal relationships and business. In startup entrepeneurship its actually encouraged to wear multiple hats. Leonardo Da Vinci was good at 2 things: deep creativity and non biased observation. Because he did so many things, his creativity was massive and his observational skills were very attuned. It superseded others in his field. At the time, his artworks and engineering feats were unique and desirable. Startup entrepeneurs are also good at 2 things only: observation and creativity. They wear multiple hats in the process of making that scalable business model, but in the end finding that business model is really just about having wise judgement and massive creativity. Entrepeneurs need to have very good observation skills just like leonardo da vinci, because no research paper, mathematical equation or mentor is going to give you the insights you need to discover what that scalable business model is. Entrepeneurs also need to be creative because making a startup is highly competitive and creativity is what overcomes that competition (this is the essence of biological evolution).

I've been going through the same phenomena and while its good for me (less monkey mind means more peace), my girlfriend is complaining that I'm not intellectually stimulating enough for her because I don't talk a lot (she is a smart type). At intellectual social groups and work, I've noticed that smart people tend to assume I'm dumb because I don't talk a lot. They just think if I don't talk I must not have any real meaning or substance going on in my head. I've noticed that 'geniuses' and smart people have an impression that spiritual people are just dumb or intellectually simple/primitive people with made up beliefs, because they don't talk much about topics. If only they knew what they were missing. I've also started to value intelligence (intellectual IQ sort of intelligence) less and less, and now find value in communities, people and things which are more simple, peaceful, loving and caring. Intelligence to me doesn't mean anything anymore. I find that highly intuitive, loving, wise, simple people are the most charismatic to me now. I value open mindedness, alternative states of consciousness, intuitive much more highly then intelligence, and I don't judge people anymore based on how smart or successful they are, just appreciate people whether they are smart and successful or not. And I don't need to hang around smart or successful people anymore to be happy. Hanging around open minded spiritual people is better then not, but its not a huge deal for me anymore. I've always naturally been someone who doesn't enjoy talking, this path I believe has just increased it significantly. My parents are ok with it because they know I'm this way.

+1+1+1+1+1+1

Plant san pedro is superior legally, and that's why its a better option right now. Countries like UK and Australia have a legal high ban, which means anything that gives you a psychedelic experience is treated worse than cocaine. Which means drugs that haven't even been invented yet are prohibited with severe penalties. Ordering a san pedro plant over the internet is much more discrete than ordering coke looking powder over the post. And if you grow it yourself, you can keep everything internal, reducing the tracks you leave, and therefore the amount of ammo the 'pigs' have for arresting you. In 50 years, maybe MAL will be better, but its not now.

hahaha I love your username. You're going to have to change it to extinct-ego soon hahaha. I've got lots of experience with this issue. Practical Tips 1. You need to practice meditating 24/7 (not just for 2 to 4 hours a day - that's not enough.) So While brushing your teeth, practice consciousness exercises, while driving to work, practice consciousness exercises, while drifting off to sleep practice consciousness. Start gently, then increase the hours and intensity over time. I do realise that this might sound scary because you can 'feel' that meditation is the last straw to the camel's back, and if you do too much shits gonna hit the fan - but based on my experience this is totally bullshit. All that will happen is consciousness will shift to a different perspective just like what happens when transitioning to a dream state. 2. Question the legitimacy of the dark night of the soul. The suffering is coming from the fact that you think the dark night of the soul is real, and is not illusion/delusion. The dark night of the soul is not real. 3. Unconditional love is the solution to getting past the fear of your face burning. Love reality and the universe so much that your face burning is not an issue if its for the greater cause of realising god. There are heaps of things that need to be done to get into a state of unconditional love - have a loving life purpose, possibly practising loving kindness meditation, etc. 4. Your fear may be coming from attachments. You first need to identify what these attachments are, then need to design your life in a way to let go of them. If you have an attachment to your girlfriend, start practising consciousness when you are with her so that you realize all of the happiness you think you get from her is actually coming from within, for example. 5. Cry during the dark night of the soul. The tears will dissolve the illusion and release suffering caused by this dark night of the soul illusion. 6. Whenever the dark night of the soul occurs, notice that along with the suffering comes a sort of light which is not apparent in ordinary consciousness. With full sincerity, ask this light for forgiveness and love. Crying or other wild movements may come from the mind and body, which is fine as long as its done with a conscious witnessing. Theoretical Underpinnings 1. The dark night of the soul is coming from a perspective, or interpretation of a deep mystical experience. But its very subtle. You clearly have not noticed it. Otherwise the suffering would not be there. You think you are directly experiencing the truth, but there's a subtle interpretation that's happening. That is the source of the suffering and the cause of an apparent dark night of the soul. 2. The disparity between ego consciousness, and the consciousness that will occur after you get over the dark night of the soul is large if you don't practice meditation 24/7 and make enlightenment a lifestyle rather than a habit. To reduce suffering, this disparity must be minimised, and to do this, enlightenment has to be a lifestyle not a habit. Otherwise you're fucked.

If you don't separate, how can you become enlightened if there's no reference point(your perspective right now) to become enlightened from?

This is how the pros do it(for peyote):https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Number=1932570 In my experience trying this though, the mescaline potency decreases. But that shouldn't be a problem for you as you're looking for ornamental purposes. EDIT: oh you can do this for San Pedro too https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DGHrXQ3cYMGo&ved=2ahUKEwib1tDNiojnAhUIzTgGHT3NDOoQwqsBMAB6BAgKEAQ&usg=AOvVaw2BfVfH3oWCIij5w_KDx5r9 This method is great for propagation, I got a peyote(super slow cactus) from seed to first sprouts in 2 months.

Why doesn't this include responses from a forum? Subtly you're trying to cling onto this material world by taking external responses on here seriously. If you're actually sincere about what you say, stop that. What's the thing that makes you desire answers from here? Contemplate on that? Maybe that whatever that is, is the problem here.

Not only is hatred, violence and sadness in the mind, but so are your interpretations of the people who you think only spew out these messages. Sorry but this 'insight' you have is just another misunderstanding in the path.

ah yeah, baby woodrose in a nutshell haha.

How about you choose kundalini over 'real women'? That's the next level up.

that's why God invented masturbation. You don't need a partner, the partner is within you.

Start off with erythritol, then slowly purge yourself off it. Even if you have a sugar supplement like erythritol, you're still seeking happiness in the external, which causes suffering.

Wanted to give another perspective of the source of anger. Others have said that anger comes from lack of surrender to the present moment, a mismatch from desire and reality, not having a holistic perspective, etc. Along with those, here is another. If you seek happiness without (are looking for relationships, great career, status, approval), including a pretty, polished, personally developed or spiritual ego, then anger arises from the fear that this external thing is about to be taken away from you, and therefore that happiness is being taken away from you. If you had the balls to fully commit to making happiness come from within: acting by your principles, doing hard stuff like not procrastinating and being honest, denying external temptations for happiness (relationships, career, polished pretty personally developed ego) and instead letting them go, then anger would find it difficult to creep into your life, for there would be nothing to take away, and therefore nothing to get angry over. Practically this means letting go of all external sources of happiness, and replacing them with within happiness. Each external source of happiness has a surface, and then a cause/source under that surface. You think you want the surface but actually you want the cause/source. Replace the external desire for that surface, by an inner focus to develop the inner cause/source. Some examples: 1. Seeking happiness in a beautiful, motherly, loving, witty, sexy woman -> being, embodying that woman's love within yourself. Being the love that you crave from a woman. And compassionately expressing that to others. When you're in a relationship, rather than seeking love, express the love you seek to that woman you're in a relationship with. Practically this may mean practising loving-kindness meditation (yes, loving kindness meditation can rid you of your womanly cravings). This is a far better alternative because that sexy woman can leave you at any moment, or worse, you may end up in a toxic relationship because of fear of loosing that love. Grow that woman within so that she cannot leave you. 2. Seeking happiness in a very prestigious company; wanting to be looked up to by your peers and feel important and worthy, wanting to have very advanced, unique, special skills that other people don't have which makes you a highly creative, intelligent person -> Be/embody your definition of creative and intelligent Forget the prestigious job. A prestigious job is impermanent and can leave you at any moment. This will cause lots of suffering. Instead develop your creative and intelligence (or whatever the cause/source of the surface is). This may practically mean practicing kriya yoga for making you more intelligent. 3. Seeking happiness in enlightenment, spiritual practices, non duality books because you feel sad, empathetic, sorrow, curious, inspired, overwhelmed about being separated from your true self -> get in touch with those emotions and longing, and build a connection with them by focusing on those things when you meditate, rather than focusing on the meditation technique or routine itself. Far too many people get trapped in theory and doing meditation just to tick a box or develop a spiritual ego, without using them effectively.

Jesus dying on the cross for the sake of love is also dualistic under that logic.

@Elham yep, the US president did a similar thing in 2001 called 9/11

Yep been there most of my life. Get in touch with inspiration: Go listen to inspirational music, watch something inspirational like someone being kind to an asylum seeker. Or go watch movies of Ghandi, Nelson Mandela. Imagine being them. Really feel like you are with or are him/her. For music actually feel its inspiration. Allow the inspiration to embody your entire being. Also do loving kindness meditation: sit down for 30 minutes, get a massive surge of love and spread it to your loved ones, people in poverty, etc. In your imagination. Actually visualise it healing them and making them blissful and ecstatic. Once you're done, spread it to yourself and heal yourself. Now your happiness will not come from 'do[ing] amazing things all the time', it will come from aligning your actions, principles, way of life with that inspiration. The happiness is not from obtaining an action, object or event from the outside world. It comes from doing stuff which causes that inspiration. The happiness is coming from your brain receptors, not from the material atoms of the object, or the kinectic energy of the action you're doing. The action, objects, etc are the smoke, but the inspiration is the engine (of the train, car, etc). The action, objects, etc. Are just the unimportant side effects of your life.

Again, the 1974 bushfires were in central Australia. The forest density is much lower there because less plants and trees can survive in a desert compared to the coastal regions. It's like comparing a fire in some place in Nevada or Arizona to a fire in Paradise. Large fires occurring in deserts are significantly different to ones occurring in non desert regions. The density of forests is lower and the climate is harsher which means less animals and plants are killed. The climate tends to be hotter in hot deserts which means fires happening in those regions, while devastating, are more expected. Desert fires still are a large problem, but you're comparing apples to oranges when talking about different regions. This is why the fires in the Sahara in Africa, while very large, are not given as much attention compared to the fires in the Amazon. Different climates change how significant a fire is. But Australia's problem is a lot deeper than this. Most Australians aren't even open to a conversation like this. They value beliefs, their own biases and opinions over facts. They have an anti intellectual motive and a dislike for academia. They think academics are all in their head and their views are somehow superior because they have real world experience. Real world experience means crap all when it comes to causes of bushfires. You need a big picture holistic understanding of the situation, which is what climate science academics do. Here's a perfect example of a typical Australian https://www.google.com/amp/amp.abc.net.au/article/11858654 He's had his land massively destroyed by the bushfires, and yet when Barack Obama made a sane, totally correct comment about the bushfires and it's like to climate change, what did the mayor do? Deeply criticise him for it. Why? What glorious evidence, insights and facts makes the mayor think that climate change is not caused by the bushfires? None. He just thinks Barack Obmama is wrong. This mayor is deeply respected by his people. God knows why.

Vipassana is a hoax! It's only done by a small majority of this country - most are democrats of course. Like who else would sit under a tree for hours? Gotta be the democrats. Look don't get me wrong, I love Buddhists, I have friends who are Buddhists. But Buddhists are sending this country broke!