electroBeam

hahhahahhahahhahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahhahahhahahhahah hahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahhaha hahahhahha as if enlightenment has nothing to do with experience right hahahahhahahahhahha hahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahhahahahha Anything that should be done before, as if time exists hahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahababababahahahabahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah There was literally no sentences that didn't make me fall on the ground for 2 mimutes in that post. Congratulations, takes skill to do that hahahahhahahahhahahah

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha. Ask that question during an enlightenment experience lolololol edit: still laughing. What should i do before enlightenment bahahahahahahaha. What a good joke LMFAO. Gosh best joke I've heard all year. That's a good one hahaha

@Leo Gura Has Jesus gone that far? Surely there's a limit to how far you can go, and some have reached it. That big dial has to end at 180 or 360 degrees.

Hi guys, I am planning to buy a $5000 neurofeedback machine. Which one do you guys use? What accessories do you guys get with it?

guess you're going to have to be an entrepreneur and dictate your own hours, salary and contribution to the world then

Thankyou, definitely useful when applied appropriately.

I don't have an internal dialogue either, but I'm no where near enlightened or peaceful. Thoughts are communicated through feeling for me. I thought this was everyone? You know how when someone is trying to communicate something and they say "whats that word again im trying to remember?" How the fuck does that work if internal dialogue is fundamental? Also how do babies think(before learning a language) if internal dialogue is fundamental? My interpretation of the video is she has an ego, but it's much more subtle and less gross then someone stuck listening to verbal dialogue. I think people who have an internal dialogue was conditioned to do that due to an overstimulated sensory experience as a kid. But this is not natural and shouldn't be normal - putting aside whether this is related to ego or not. Language was invented, not biologically constructed. How was language invented if language is needed to think? Seems like a silly idea that internal dialogue is fundamental to cognition hahaha.

I posted a week or 2 ago about this issues. Got some great replies, helped me overcome issues that were completely unrelated to the original post - while helpful, I would like to overcome this issue. Ok so the problem is, in the previous post I said I get an ego backlash every 2 weeks. After further inspection, that may have been an incorrect diagnosis. I will describe the symptoms in more detail. Every 2 weeks, I enter an alternative state of consciousness which seems like an ego backlash but may not be. In the experience, the following happens: - massive body high, bliss. Body feels like a ball of bliss energy. - social anxiety and worrying about what others thing completely goes away. Can do cold approach with 0 negative experience or thought, anytime, anywhere. - feel deeply powerful or deeply movtivated and energetic to get things done, overcome fears and exit comfort zone. - Consciousness of feelings and thoughts remain the same as sober. - smiling all the time. It's sort of like mania but highly conscious. It's sort of like being drunk on alcohol, but highly conscious. It reminds me of how I felt on San Pedro. Whenever I experience these states, I don't feel like meditating, or doing my goals. This experience essentially knocks me off my trajectory. Because of the frequency, this causes disruptions in my trajectory. Do you guys experience this? Is this the right way to look at it? This is a concern for me. Is this my ego tricking me? Is this concern not warranted for someone who is deeply motivated?

They do receive that label hahahaha. Just not amongst themselves

I've dealt with hallucinations all my life which a typical therapist labels as psychosis. I think for a large part of hallucinations, the problem is the orientation, not whether the hallucination happens or not. Its whether you get sucked into it, take it too seriously, don't apply consciousness and mis interpret it, Don't integrate it with ordinary consciousness, whether you get sucked into the thought stories about it. Having hallucinations for the 1st 1 or 2 times could be scary, but after having literally 1000s of hallucinations they aren't a big deal anymore. I think fearing hallucinations and schizophrenia could be too overrated. I'm aware that schizophrenia can be very detrimental and scary, but you need to be very very reckless to get there. And don't worry, you'll pussy out before getting even close.

Nice one thanks! Filled by haven't looked at it in a week, great reminder

Yes can definitely try that thanks! When I try to put awareness on a feeling, and drop the thought about/describing the feeling, I go through multiple iterations of thoughts describing the feeling(oh I'm feeling bad about being fat! Oh no actually it's about me not accepting myself, oh no it's about me not being ok with being by myself, loneliness, etc). And each one feels like a different paradigm(different perspective). Is this what you mean by work your way up? I've been practicing the excersises (you guided me with) and have gotten a lot out of that. In fact this bliss state I believe is directly correlated to my kriya(inner effort) to do those excersises. After observing the emotion(rather than the thought) and basically recontexualising all of the emotions/feelings(because I use to believe thought about the feeling, rather than the feeling itself, so I was misinterpreting the feeling all my life) all of these different sensations are starting to come out: bliss, deep motivation, freedom. And this is making it hard to 'control' myself to do the spiritual practices. It's like the thoughts are telling me to do the spiritual practices(like meditation) but I'm loosing capacity to listen to thought...

Yeah we must have the same phenomenas. It doesn't transition to lows. It's just like taking San pedro(except you're totally in control of your body). I've never tried MDMA but it's probably a sober form of that, you experience it then go back to normal. It's like doing kriya yoga. You get high for a while then go back to normal. Yes many times in the past. I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, autism. I have not been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. These highs didn't resonate as bipolar with a specialist. Nor did they believe it was mania. They believed if it was anything it was a weird cognitive effect. I didn't take drugs for any of my mental health(including schizophrenia) I'm very against drugs. Instead I made the most of my psychosis and metaphysically studied and explored my hallucinations. Very interesting insights there. As for my autism I've been practicing emotional intelligence excersises for a while which helped a lot. Therapists are fucked. Its like getting a child to diagnose you. Im not into therapists or western medicine in general. Shamans understand me much more. In fact they all have schizophrenia like me so they understand hahaah.

Socialism doesn't suck. Sweden is much better than the US for living standards. Socialism sucks IF your country is corrupt. It doesn't suck if it's not. Capitalism sucks whether your country is corrupt or not. If Cuba proves that socialism sucks, what about Africa? One of the most capitalist continents on the planet? What's worse? Africa or Cuba(I've been to both, it's definitely Africa without a doubt). What about Brazil? Brazil's living standards are worse than Cuba! And it's more capitalist than the US! Mexico, another capitalist country, much worse than Cuba. This argument is very stupid. Cuba is poor because of corruption, got nothing to do with socialism. Socialism is the only way to live a harmonious society. Tantric yogis use to live in socialist societies. Hunter gatherers lived in socialist societies. "maybe the socialists in America should take a short trip... come here and say they want this" Maybe the libertarian idiots in the video should take a short trip to Somalia and say they want this. Is this channel paid by fox news? What stupidity is this?

Why is it that the same stage are more hostile while arguing than different stages are? Blue vs Blue is more hostile than blue vs green? https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2014/08/28/hannity_explodes_on_muslim_cleric_defending_islamic_state.html

https://youtu.be/JV9E2ZTjmew

If reality is not legit, then what chance does she have of being legit?

The biggest mindfuck you're going to encounter in the next 15 years (hopefully) is the reason why you're so bad with girls, is because you've developed an identity around being bad with girls, and you're scared shitless of letting that identity go.

"how high are your tostesterone levels"

I'm in a spot where I need to get hyper social. Things like meeting lots of new people a day. If I was allowed to do whatever I wanted, I would create a man cave and only come out once a month hahahaha and thats to go into nature, not to meet people hahaha. I love my own space, freedom, independence, the internet, solitude, and doing my life's work isolated. When I go to meet people, it's suffering for me because I feel like I'm wasting my time, because I don't connect with most people(value difference and different interests) and I feel like I'm forced to talk about crap, because if I talk about what I want, they loose interest. And because I'm different, i have less buying power for what to talk about in groups. Even if I go find people like me, I need to be social for business reasons, which means Orange. How is my ego tricking me?

That's his style. It's why his audience listens to him. He acts a certain way to get clicks and fit in the fox news box.

If you are allowed, do uni part time, online, and spend the other time doing a creative job, being an entrepreneur and getting money from scratch. There's no job more free than being an entrepreneur. But at the same time, even being an entrepreneur is constricted. You have to play by your customer or investor's game.

Well it's not working well. Bitching about not having enough sex is not advancing anyone's survival.

I'm reaching out here because I don't know what else to do. I feel very suicidal right now and I just need some opinions and help. I want to talk to someone in person about my issues, because I read somewhere that women get over breakups better then men because they talk to their friends about it. But I can't, you'll see why below. My situation is, I'm currently in a startup. My cofounder is a highly charismatic sociopath. We have spent the last 3 years building a company, and we have probably another 5 years to go. It's going really well and it's got a good chance of being successful. Unfortunately My cofounder is from China(it's based in a poor dangerous part), and our company is based in China. I'm not from China, and I have been doing work from my home country. He has told me in the past that he strongly values strong determination, work ethic, getting rich, and sacrificing everything for the company. He said that he's willing to sacrifice his house, his wife and family relations to make this startup work. His wife is basically his slave, she does what he tells her to do, she gets upset with him a lot because he doesn't take her out on dates, forgets her birthday and anniversary, etc. And he just shruggs it off. Tells her that she can get divorced then. She either sacrifices her well-being for the company or she leaves. He of course expects me to do the same, but I'm not like him. I value compassion, impacting the world, empathy and being kind to women and basically everyone. For the past 3 years, he's been trying to convince me to move to China. I have compromised by going to China every 2-4 months for about a month. I couldn't leave in the past because my wife(ex now) couldn't handle it. She was too clingy. She couldn't even handle 1 month every 3 months, and that's why we have broken up. My ex wife came from Latin America, and we met in uni. We became husband and wife to give her a visa so she could migrate to our country. Of course we thought we would be together, but now we broke up. But we have to keep seeing each other for another year and pretend to be married for her to get a permanent residency. If I divorce her now, it will take her much longer to get a PR, and her mum(who is around 70) won't be able to come to my country because she might die soon. If I cancel her visa, I think there's a strong chance my ex wife my commit suicide, because her mum spent all her money paying for her visa and her university, all in hopes that she could spend her last year's in my home country with her. This gives me a great deal of suffering, because for the visa we have to keep seeing each other for evidence, but I'm deeply hurt she broke up with me. She told me that she broke up with me because she felt insecure about our relationship. Because my company is based in China, she's worried that in the future I will leave to China and never come back. I told her that I didn't move to China specifically to be with her. But she's too insecure and so she broke up. I pretended to quit my company and she cried because she said that I was messing up her head. And that to stop the pain we should just be best friends(friends with benefits) until the visa comes, because she knows I'm very ambitious and again that makes her think that if I get too successful I will leave her. I'm deeply hurt because I'm committed to her, and she won't accept it for a silly reason. And I feel used for the visa. I don't want to see her but I have to for the visa and this is bringing me pain. I agreed that let's be in a relationship then for another year and just enjoy while we can, and lets break up at the end of the year. Lets use this time to detach from each other and make our last memories good ones(because we are still attached to each other). She agreed(close friends of benefits sort of thing till the end of the year) This breakup happened about a week or 2 ago. I'm currently in China and have been for about a week or 2(left just after the breakup). When I go to China, I don't feel comfortable with my cofounder. He's very brutal and harsh(typical Chinese sociopath). He's also 20 years older than me(I'm in my early 20s). I value health, wellbeing, and it's always a struggle for me to do simple things like eat healthy food and go to the gym. He argues with me that I should be working long hours at the startup and thats more important than health and gym. He shows me all the poor people in China and says all of them would do anything to be in my position right now. When i argue he just argues back. And its so uncomfortable because when im there im living in his house, i come from a poor family and dont have enough money for airbnb or hotels while im there. He of course wont spend that money on me because hes a tight chinese man. I told my cofounder about my breakup up(because it's important for us to understand what's going on in our life for planning the startup) and I was hoping that he would be at least a bit sympathetic. Instead he said "hooray! you can finally migrate to China, I'll get you a visa". I was just so put off by this. I broke up with my wife of 3 years about a week ago, and he gave absolutely no empathy. Instead he just capitalised on my loss. I wanted to vomit. I told him that look I need time to get over the relationship. We will continue to live together till the end of the year. I'll come to China permanently a bit later during the year. He told me that I'm being stupid. Why am I choosing to help someone with a visa when they broke up with me? Why do you want to stay in your home country and live with her after the breakup? Youre being stupid, irrational, emotional, feminine. If you were loyal to the startup you would come instantly! This is your future, not your ex wife. Think about the future, stupid 20s man. Even if I don't live with my ex for the rest of the year, the thought of living with this guy in his house for a long period of time makes me wanna puke. Chinese are so harsh and brutal and hate feelings. they only care about rationality. I don't mean to be racist but I hate their culture. The company is on track to make enough money to justify to my tight ass cofounder to give me a pay and have my own place next year. I want to move then. But not now. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. I told this to my ex wife, and of course she got pissed, saying that he's going to ruin her visa and her plans to come to my home country. So i cant go too soon. I'm just thinking "what about me? It isn't fair, I've had enough and I want my share! My heart has just been teared, and all these people care about is their own petty lives". Fortunately she later confessed that if I go she will cry because she still needs me. But her first reaction was the visa and that hurts me a lot. On top of all of this, to save money I've been living with my parents. Because it's a startup the income is not totally secure, especially since the Chinese dollar is much lower than my own country(I live in a city as expensive as los angeles) and with the corona virus its just dropped again. My parents are pissed that i sacrificed my degree for this startup and have now told me i must move out. So now i have home security problems. Also my parents are divorcing after a lot of hatred and only care about themselves right now. Divorce court fees etc makes me not a concern for them right now. I can't talk to my parents about my ex wife, because to get the visa my parents have to write statements to the immigration. I've also had a lot of fights with them in the past because they helped my ex wife by providing her a house and thought she was ungreatful, but kept all of the resentment in because they thought we would be together forever. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Last night I stayed up the whole night. Just contemplating about my life. I wondered "what if instead of my wife disappearing I quit the startup?" Then I suddenly felt like I was on cocaine, ecstatic. The relief from all of the pressure was amazing. But then I remembered all of the pain I got from my controlling ex wife. I then wondered "what if i quit both my ex wife and the startup" omg i felt like I took 10x more cocaine, with all of the relief i felt like i was floating. Then i remembered how stressful it is living with my family. Then it hit me, what if I committed suicide? Just started over again like what we do in our dreams? OMG the relief, the ecstasy. I cannot describe, just like an enlightenment experience. Last night I snuck a knife out of the draw from my cofounder's kitchen and began to locate my heart. As I was about to push it in a flashback of my entire history from the moment I was a kid to now occured. I saw how much mourning my parents would go through if I did this, the shock and terror of my cofounder and the dread of my ex. But the worst part would be my parents would incorrectly feel guilty and responsible for the thing i was about to do. So i put the knife back and instead just wept in the deep dark depression for the entire night. I've talked to therapists in the past, and I find I get worse, not better eith them. I can't speak to my parents about my situation, and I've tried speaking to my ex and cofounder about it: which was a mistake. I have no friends, because I'm too busy. I feel used, exploited, and I feel unlovable and void of love. I feel like people only like me because I make them rich(cofounder) or I give them a visa(my ex wife). I feel very resentful to my ex wife. And I feel like vomiting when I think about my cofounder. I have a deep urge to commit suicide and I just don't know what to do, and I don't have anyone to talk to. What can I do? Is suicide the best thing for such a situation?

maybe you're just addicted to bread, and the idea of someone telling you bread is bad triggers you.