electroBeam

A few days ago i wrote that i saw nothingness in everything and this changed my relationship with my career and relationships. This was because I saw all words, sentences, meaning, object recognition, as simply nothingness if you contemplated far enough. And what causes us to think that words and sentences have meaning is our ignorance, or unwillingness to contemplate far enough. If you contemplate far enough all meanings collapse into nothing. I now see this everywhere. Literally everything is nothingness, and the world is created through not focusing or meditating on the present moment enough. By not meditating on the present moment, you allow yourself to believe and mistake thought stories as reality. Meaning/creation is created by us pretending we cannot contemplate further, and our thoughts are the fundamental, most reduced element of this world. whats that? A tree? but whats a tree? its just a tree thats it! by refusing to contemplate further we create reality. As soon as we start contemplating what a tree is, we risk seeing nothingness. I went into a radically new mindset today, just by contemplating "whose responsible for all of this". The immediate answer was "me". Im the one whose choosing to not contemplate further to create reality. Or im the one who chooses to see nothingness. Its all me. Im doing it. But what is me? If im a human, how can i willfully make the world nothingness or something? Ahhhhhh......... Im the universe, acting through a human. And I thought i was a human because i totally forgot that the ability to perceive and be aware, is not caused by being a human, but by being the universe. A human does not perceive, and cannot perceive or be aware. A human does not have such capabilities. A human does nothing. Its the universe that perceives and is aware. This body has nothing to do with me. And me is the centre of the universe, because there is nothing outside of me. And me is the one running the show. Not the human. The universe is acting from the centre of the human flesh. The universe is being aware from the centre of the human. But its the universe that is perceiving and being aware, not the human. When i was saying I, I thought i meant the human, but i actually meant the universe. I is referring to the universe, not to the human. This has opened a radically different viewpoint. I dont know what to do anymore. There is no where to go, and nothing to achieve or accomplish. There is a very strange sense of completion, because, you cant be more than this. Its literally everything. You cant complete yourself by becoming some famous artist, because you are the one who makes up the idea of the famous artist itself. You are prior to it. You cant even become enlightened, because its your unwillingness to contemplate and collapse the world, or you pretending that your thoughts are fundamental and that you cant deconstruct further, that is creating enlightenment. You are prior to enlightenment. What do you do in such a mindset? I dont know what to do. Theres no where to go or be.

@SOUL This is a very good example of someone trying to use logic to prove God's existence. There is no such thing as an imaginary thought story, but you must formerlly believe in imaginary thought stories to realize that.

@SOUL There is no such thing as an imaginary thoight story.

@SOUL No, everything isnt an imaginary thoight story. This is spiritual bypassing

@Artaemis fuck dude your experiences are creepily similar to mine.

There's a lack of focus occurring because there is large energy/bliss and a strong sensation of pressure at the forehead. And this is causing the stream of thoughts to disrupt every 30 or so seconds, which disrupts focus on everyday activities like work and driving. Anyone who has experienced this before, I would love for you to share your experiences on resolving it. Thanks!

hahahahahahahaha that's priceless

wow you tried DXM, I tried that ages ago.

You can do whatever you want, without justification. Now that the creation is accepted, and the moral dilemma resolved, you can feel ok killing animals or not. Whether you do or do not depends on levels of awareness, not on justifications and morality.

@Serotoninluv Im in a startup which has a product that has an AI component which compassionately cares for patients as part of a larger product. I had a trip on HWBR ages ago where I felt energies of objects, basically what they feel in tantra. You also feel those energies in pictures. I developed a propietary set of computer AI algorithms and mathematical models for describing these energies of objects. Now the AI understands the energies of objects and humans, and uses that energy to figure out the mood of people. Its sort of a mathematical model for EQ. Thats an example of using psychedelics for detailed stuff. Ahhh i see the way you're using it is like a nootropic. Thats not how I would use it. I would use it for 'taking back' insights and translating those insights into mathematical theorems. From that angle, taking large doses is useful. Awesome to see different ways to use the same tool!

1. I have extreme levels of bliss that are crazily and chaotically disrupting my focus, sense of reality and motor function. 2. I keep having moments, every 2 to 5 minutes, of forgetting who i am, what just happened, my history, forgetting the physical universe, etc. 3. I have totally forgotten what death is. If someone gets shot in front of my i would not give a fuck. ive totally forgotten who my friends and family are. They all just seem like me. I need help. Who knows a good online rasa, spiritual or reiki healer i can have a session with? I suspect, but not sure, i somehow contemplated my way into a premature kundalini awakening. Even though ive only taken psychedelics once in the past, i feel like I somehow contemplated myself into a big psychedelic trip. And its not going away.

Yep the happy chemicals is what stops you from having a bad time, and freaking out.

This is exactly my life purpose. My life purpose is to mathematically map altered states of consciousness. This could be models, concepts, integrations, etc. Lets keep in touch so that we can work together in the future!

Thanks for the advice dude! A deep, kept secret a lot of people on here don't know, is that I had a session with Nahm back when i was almost suicidal, and I practiced a thing he taught, and as soon as i did that, all of this weird shit started happening hahahahahhahahahah EDIT/DISCLAIMER: Nahm's advice has helped me generate levels of bliss unimaginable, just from 1 session which was about my career and getting over suicidal thoughts, rather than spirituality. Definitely recommend him and not trying to say if you practice his stuff you will become psychotic. This is just personal to me.

@Nahm Cool! Awesome! Thanks! Im planning to try psychedelics, would this be good or bad for the cocoon in your opinion? Help make it stronger or smash it to pieces?

Yep its trying to resolve the 2 because the paradox is the body and mind is living in time, space, has a career, goals, survival needs, yet you are frozen in time/beyond time, space, survival, etc. And its just like, what do you do with that? Yes it might feel like there is no time, its eternal, everything is the same, its all you, etc. But then there's food needs, there is you going through time because you're always looking at a clock, etc. Maybe this is just some sort of weird limbo between non duality and duality. The above post is dualistic, but thats because its a pragmatic plan for how to improve my life, rather than stating the truth.

@Dwarniel Sure it depends on living costs. Scandinavian cities are usually expensive. 53K a year might be fine if house prices, groceries and the like are also low. In Most Scandinavian cities, and even places like the UK, 53K a year would suck very badly. 50 to 70% would be eaten up by house loans. You can probably live above your means on 97K a year, but it doesn't sound too much over based on other countries in the region. The logic behind giving decent salaries to presidents and prime ministers is to ensure they don't get too corrupt. This is a serious consideration depending on the society you live in. Low salaries to politicians can cause harm and has in latin american and east asian countries. Whether it causes issues in a socialist democratic nation like Norway I'm not sure. I'm on over 97K USD and I live in Australia where healthcare is also free (to a point) and I would struggle on 53K a year due to living in a very expensive city.

97000 USD is fucken nothing. That's poverty. But I guess in Europe, if you earn 200K a year, 102K probably goes to taxes, so you're left with 98K anyway

You're not consuming animal products, because you're literally, frankly speaking, not the body. The body, within the relative domain of the universe, is consuming animal products. The chicken's body gets destroyed in the process, but the chicken does not die. Having the body justify why it eats chicken, plants, or anything you/god misidentifies with is like having a car engine justify why it uses fuel. This is part of an overarching design of the universe. Your moral dilemma comes from your refusal to accept the creation you have made, are.

Fuck not only does Leo make money off actualized.org, but he gets his own set of expert nutritionists. I should start a personal dev channel.

You're right! All of my arguments put to you are nothing, rather than something. But how would I realize this if it wasn't for the something?

You could try placing focus and awareness on the body and asking why you believe you are the body. And if you aren't the body, then how will you die. But the bigger issue I suspect will be letting go of all of your history, who you think you are (mind), and your attachments.

You're technically correct about that. But you need to make sure you're saying that with good intention. @Javfly33You got scared, and......? What's fear made of? You are not realizing who you are because you're afraid of nothing, literally.

Update: I posted here yesterday because I was having severe psychotic symptoms accompanied with extreme chaotic levels of bliss. Who I was, what time period I was in, what objects are, what space is, kept being forgotten every 2 to 5 minutes, and I felt like I was being transported to different dimensions and totally forgetting the dimension I was in the past. Motor function lost control for a few moments completely. It was like being in the last scenes of 2001 space odyssey. Fortunately it has passed now. Key learnings/change in consciousness: 1. became fully aware that there are actually 3 things operating right now: the body, mind and YOU; Who you actually are. You are creating the entire universe including the body and mind. The body and mind are tiny subsets of you. 2. As a corollary to 1, while the body is a subset of you, paradoxically, you are not the body. I now have a very strange ability to completely dis-identify with the body at will, just by focusing awareness on the body's sensations, physical look, and becoming aware that the body is made of consciousness, like everything, and that's me. I got a sense that this has very strong advantages to loosing weight and completely eliminating body image issues. As you are not the body, the physical appearance of the body does not affect self esteem. Also negative sensations with the body are not affecting happiness. Discomfort is not affecting me as I am not the body. Fear of death can be reduced, if not eliminated with dis-identifying with the body, as the body may be destroyed, but I am not the body. I became very aware that I do not want sex, the body wants sex, and I thought I wanted sex because I identified with the body. If you don't identify with the body, you don't want sex, your body wants sex. That's paradoxically does not mean you will never have sex, it means you will have sex for the sake of the body, not because you want it. 3. As a corollary to 1, the mind is the ego, and the ego is YOU getting sucked into thinking you are not you, but instead are apart of you. The ego is micro flashes of thoughts (falsehood or things pretending to be true but aren't true) which very subtly suck you into thinking those things are real for split seconds. If you have enough of them going on in awareness, you can maintain a sense that partiality is real, and wholeness is false. This is what people on here probably refer to as egoic consciousness. I became very aware that I do not care about how I look, how smart I am, etc. This is what the mind/ego cares about, and its what I want if I identify with the ego/mind. If you don't identify with the ego, then you don't want it. Paradoxically though that does not mean you will not care about survival of the mind anymore, you will, but on behalf of the mind, not on behalf of you. by the way, in this post I use I, me and you as interchangeable, because in reality they are interchangeable. 4. As a corollary to 2 and 3, the mind and body have their own needs and wants, and communicate that through feelings and sensations. while you are not the body and the mind, the body and mind are designed in such a way that they communicate what's necessary for them to survive or do what they want to do. If you are in egoic consciousness, you can actually believe that you are the body and mind (hahahaha) and then because you are the body and mind you literally feel you need to do everything the body and mind wants, because that's what you want, and you are the most important thing in the universe. This is the heart of neurotic behaviours. Having survival needs from the body and mind, and fulfilling them because you identify with the body and mind. 5. As an addon to 4, you (or god whatever you want to call yourself) also have wants and desires for the body and mind, but may have trouble communicating them if you identify with the body and mind instead of you. You have a very holistic, unified drive for a direction, which includes the body, mind, world, different universes, the whole thing, and the body and mind are small cogs in that big picture of what you want. If you can get out of egoic consciousness, you can align the mind and body to what you want, and this is pure joy and happiness. Your body and mind's desires, are deeply distorted representations of what you want. If you contemplate your body image issues enough, you will contemplate your way to your(gods) wants. And see that the body image issues was a badly described way of communicating you're not in line with what you (god) wants, as a whole. Some personal things: 1. I had a strong pressure and energy located in the 3rd eye for like 2 weeks and it was getting stronger. I dismissed/ignored it because I thought it was an innocent sensation. It is now clear to me that this sensation was a signal of a future psychotic episode, and chaotic bliss, and if I took that signal as a sign that I must prepare myself for such an episode, things would have happened much more smoothly. 2. I've been searching for psychedelics for past 12 months, and am actively finding them. I feel like this experience was a preparation for my entrance into the field of psychedelics. I've taken 1 psychedelic in the past and there were a lot of similarities to what happened on that trip and this experience. 3. I now want to discover/contemplate more on the body, mind and soul/me and how these guys relate, and how best to control the body and mind to do what I want. Not what the body and mind wants. I'm still not an expert in this, but that will be my focus for the next few weeks. 4. I'm now aware that I'm creating the reality around me, but I am not aware as to why I created this reality around me in the first place. That's another point of contemplation for me (or if I get psychedelics sooner than later, a question for them). EDIT: If I'm god, why can't I just make a Lamborghini pop up in front of me? Because 'doing' is an illusion/imaginary. Therefore God cannot do, because doing does not exist, God can only imagine to be in a universe (physical) where doing is seemingly(pretend) possible, and do as an actor in that universe. All God can do is Be, and therefore making a Lamborghini pop out of nowhere does not make sense absolutely. 5. While I'm aware that I am not the mind and body, I can very very very very easily slip into thinking I'm the mind and body for short milliseconds. Its very easy to slip into thinking you're the mind and body and you must put effort into placing awareness on the mind, body, and you(self aware) to maintain a sense of God consciousness. This may explain why some enlightened masters do silly things like make cults or rape, etc. So another goal of mine is to continue to maintain a sense of awareness 24/7. This also explains how you can slip back into thinking you're an ant: its easy, just stop meditating hahaha. 6. Enlightened teachers who refuse to say I, me, or you, or speak in 3rd person are idiots hahaahahahahahahhaha. Because you do exist lool. EDIT: fuck its happening again. Massive surge of energy just exploded my brain and I forgot who I was again. And I'm forgetting what's going on. Fuck. Wooooooow massive wave of energy, just engulfed everything. Soon this post will not be identifiable by me, and I will not recognise who wrote it. I better write the time is 3:41pm Sunday so I don't forget.

No you got the underlined part wrong. Yes I did tell everyone they are in their own imaginary thought story, I then go on to tell them that who they are is me, when they ask "who am I?" They are referring to the one that wrote that message. This is not a thought story, this is absolute truth.