electroBeam

I had some challenges with porn, so what I did was filled a lot of my free time up with meditation so that I didn't have time for porn. Seems to be working well.

The stuff behind the eyes = the stuff in front of the eyes.

yeah I do, I went to high school with him. Good bloke.

Definitely! You psychic! Yep Yep great advice. So much suffering from this way of live. Yeah I do this a lot unfortunately. Even over meditation habits. Yep Yep that's a great reminder. And that's missing right now. There's no appreciation for the past, or now, just a push for the future. Thanks Nahm, for speculation that was a highly resonating post. Deeply appreciate your support and love. ? ???

yeah, I get what ya saying hahaha. Probably true. Through my diet I've knocked down a lot of things like aches and focusing issues. My body is a tough nut. You try a lot of things and you still have problems. It needs some professional work like reiki work. Ive even gone to western nutritionists and forget itm They are more hopeless then yourself. They put me on a low carb diet and I felt worse. Body was trying to tell me that reducing a macro nutrient is not how you nourish your body. Lol. Don't tell the keto fans that, they will smadh you. I think I didn't go much further in the past because I have bigger things to worry about like getting my career sorted.

hmmmmmmmmmm. I'll give ya bold answer back lol. Probably better this answer then to give you some generic bullshit like oh i want to be successful or a good little meditator. There's 2 main things going on. Meditation(focus, attention, concentration) and thoughts. When I ask myself and inspect why I do this. The answer that seems quite authentic is the following: There's a 'fight' or competition between 2 sides of a pendulum. The first is to drop all thoughts and dissolve into nothing. To expand, be unlimited, be infinite. The 2nd is a desire to create. To ejaculate or let out 'shakti' or pure creative energy. Its like sex, you leave it in and the energy builds and wants to be let out. Its hard to get any deeper than that, but its a love for form. A love for contributing or creating form. Like creating beautiful masterpieces. When I go hardcore with the first, the shakti builds up, and wants to be let out. And so i swing to going hardcore at my work. Then after going hardcore at my work, a depression from limitation lingers. Its like yes form is beautiful, but you've gotten too immersed in limitation and form, time to drop it. Also just doing meditation all day doesn't feel quite right. It feels like without creation, I don't know, its not how its meant to be. And so I flop between these 2. Last year I flopped between these 2 by working hardcore for 2 weeks, then working less and meditating hardcore. This year I'm doing meditation and lots of work on a daily basis, and so now the flip happens daily. Which is much better because the depression and building up of shakti is more balanced. But its still pretty darn hard for me to balance it. Naturally I feel like oscillating between saying fuck you to meditation and fuck you to work every 2 weeks. Who knows maybe I have a mental condition. Of course there's also egoic survival needs like making money. But really when i think about my biggest challenge, its forging a life that can balance these 2 pendulums. If I do a job that doesn't allow me to express formlessness's beauty, and doesn't allow me to meditate, its not an ideal life. And so my end game is to have such a life. That could mean a career as an inventor(what im doing now) where I express formlessness's beauty through inventive ideas, or it could mean a game developer, etc.

lol that's what my previous relationship was like. I couldn't keep up. You can segregate the convo as women vs man, but in reality its less horny vs more horny.

I eat eggs, tuna, vegetables like onion daily (for breakfast lunch and dinner, im a bit boring). And possibly some keto/low carb brownies once a day. I also blend fruit and make juice and drink tha daily. I drink blended fruits like strawberries or raspberries. In the past I just didn't have the time to meditate because I was focused entirely on career but this year started meditating between 30 minutes to 2 hours a day. I excersise every 1 to 3 days depending on how busy I am. My life is highly stressful because I am a startup founder that works monday to sunday 14 hours a day usually. Which means I'm the one responsible for my company, and its a deeply technical company which means lots of R&D cost and hard to commercialise stuff in time. I don't feel healthy. I have compulsive thoughts, aches all over my body, and am always in the shit at work. But I eat healthy and meditate. Not much more you can do. There's also strong evidence I have disorders like ADHD, autism and dyslexia. Although haven't been formally diagnosed with each. I tend to just drive myself through all my problems. Hence why I'm pretty hard core with doses. If I struggle with meditation, I'll just drive concentration to the point that the struggle dissolves. If I have investors wanting something done tomorrow morning, I'll just drive myself to get it done. And if tablets aren't working, I'll up the dose till it works, which tends to be 4 to 6 tablets when you should take 1(so 4 to 6x what's prescribed)

yeah we must just be lucky.

People are never satisfied. Some people say that they wish they had access to life purpose teachings at an early age instead of pissing their life away on sex, friends, youth. And others like the op, say they wish they had sex, enjoyed friends and their youth instead of pissing their life away on life purpose knowledge. Fuck, just be fucken happy for god's sake. When are you ready to throw away the need to have life exactly the way you want it? Like a child who didn't get their candy? Here's a fun fact: your depression is not from what you did in the past, if you did all those things you wished you did, you'd be even more depressed then you are now. Your problem is you can't accept the way things are, no matter how they are. And you don't know how to forgive yourself and forget what you've done. When you learn that, you'll be a happy chappy, and all that shit in the past doesn't matter because its all beautiful no matter what happened.

wow pharma gaba is hallucinogenic at high doses(6 tablets or more). Great stuff. Did an hour of meditation and it felt like 3 minutes. Entire time I was in pure white light. That's never happened without pharma gaba.

pop the bubble and fasten your seatbelt

There's no difference, and there's no 'you'. electroBeam is an illusion in your mind designed to help keep you from realizng the fact the holocaust didn't happen.

say Allah isn't real in Iran ans you'll immediately go to jail. People love their stories

precisely, which is why the holocaust didn't happen.

If you're not conscious that the holocaust didn't happen, then you sir aren't doing the work.

Only in your imagination. The holocaust didn't actually happen.

just go the whole way and use tails

I think its a bit wrong or incorrect to say that getting a PhD is petty, selfish, close minded, materialist or trying to prove yourself to scientists. I think its also wrong to say those things about scientific aspirations. While science is not Truth - and this is your main rebuke of science - its not 'selfless' or 'spiritual' or 'enlightened' to dismiss science either. Science creates cars, planes, quantum mechanics. Its a creative force. Its not truth, but its creation. Science is imaginary, but its a great story. I'm sure you wouldn't say that its petty, selfish, close minded, materialist to create stories like mickey mouse, so why so harsh on science? Haven't you seen a car engine? Or the design of Elon Musk's rockets? They are fucken amazing and beautiful! Much more intricate, elegant and beautiful than paintings, that's for sure. And is having an aspiration to create that, really 'petty', 'close minded' or 'selfish'? How is it different to an amazing artist? Getting a PhD, trains you in that creative force. It trains you to make those theories - which aren't true - but are elegant, relatively true and precise and correct and beautiful. And if your mission is to create beautiful theoretical structures or engineering designs, then that's an aspiration no less noble than being a famous painter, or creative type. Is telepathy or channelling a PhD for that cause really that bad or a no no that it doesn't warrant telepathic abilities? I think you're a bit too harsh on science to be honest. Lets face it, you're not going to design the magnificence of your computer through telepathy(I've tried because I dropped out of college and made a deep tech startup and tried to use the occult to design that technology, didn't work), occult or through meditation. That comes through science and engineering. And your computer is an amazing, beautiful piece of creation. And you always dismiss that element of science, and instead rant about materialism or close mindedness. Just because you are enlightened, playing the game is a no no now? And playing the game means doing science and engineering, along with having sex with women in the club, and painting and making videos for actualized.org. Its no different to what you do on a daily basis. Science isn't just close minded foolishness, its beautiful creation aswell. Is actualized.org petty too? Because if you're serious about your claims that science is too petty for telepathy, what makes actualized so special? What makes actualized more selfless then the aspiration to create beautiful machinery and engineering and design? Also proving yourself to scientists isn't petty. Science is a sociological phenomena, deeply intertwined into the functioning of collective society. By changing science, you cause an infinite chain reaction of affecting everyone's lives on the planet. You cause a deep wave of invention, different mindsets in people, etc. Look at how much changed from the 1500s to now. That's the power of being petty and proving things to science.

if you know how to do telepathy show me! I want to download an entire PhD program into my brain! all 7 years in 7 seconds.

Or invent one yourself by asking the 5 meo gods how to make them That's even cooler!

@Leo Gura yeah I'm not saying all of the UFOs sighted were drones. The phoenix lights ones were very unlikely to be drones. But there are several UFO sightings, where the UFOs did activities which you would expect from AI, rather than living creatures like animals or insects. If you look at the 2004 Nimitz case, the UFO sporadically moved in the same spot like a ping pong ball, then flew directly up to the pilot watching it then went to its cap point. This sort of behaviour, is not what I would expect aliens in a vehicle doing. Why the fuck would they do that. BUT it is exactly what I would expect alien's AI doing. If you gave the curiosity rover highly advanced AI, and it flew 40 light years away to a primitive culture, you could expect the rover to do some pretty intelligent, but nonsensical things. Things which are intelligent, but are not related to living thing survival (care about survival or care about achieving survival goals). Imagine, that highly advanced curiosity rover was meant to touch mars, but instead went 40 years to a cave man planet, and it started digging up and taking samples of that cave man planet. The AI knew that smoked signaled volcanoes, so when it went to the houses of the primitive culture, who had chimneys, the AI went there's molten volcano to dig up and started digging around it, the AI also knew that on mars, have objects like rocks that fly around and could wreck it. When the people approached the rover, it thought they were those heavy objects and dodged them by flinging right past them. Just imagine how confused that primitive culture would have been. Well that's how confused we are about the 2004 Nimitz case. Also Bob Lazar said that his best guess was the spacecraft was dug up. It wasn't floating around in space and they caught it. If it was, I could be way off, but it would not be acting anything like how the UFO in the 2004 US Nimitz sighting acted.

I could be way off, but based on my experience as a scientist/engineer, these things look much more like highly intelligent drones/probes then they do alien entities and vehicles for them. If you watch how these things act (based on multiple footage, not just these ones above) they tend to act intelligently, but nonsensically. They act sporadically, do things with no holistic goal or plan, react to patterns in nature and our technology in nonsensical ways. And there's no clear indication that these things are acting in ways that benefit survival. They remind me a lot of the AI and machine learning algorithms I invent and research. Most of the AI that I develop in experiments tend to behave in ways that are highly intelligent, but don't make sense. I made an A.I once for minecraft. Its job was to mine all minerals as fast as possible using a group of NPC. They did well for a while, but then one time for some reason one of the NPC went up to the water and seemed like it was splashing it. I was baffled. Then after inspection, the AI actually found a bug in the game where if you walk in a circle in this specific part in the water, Iron ore would be added to your inventory. A human player would rarely if ever do this. Rather there would be more of a holistic strategy that made sense. There would be a sense of perception or way of understanding the minecraft realm, and decisions based off of that. The AI however, had no such understanding of the minecraft world, it just reacted to fragmented patterns in its environment, which is why it did (and AI does) crazy things. I could totally imagine that these UFOs are probes (like the curiosity rover) with highly intelligent AI, from distance parts of the galaxies, that have now flown too far, beyond what they were meant to do, and are now reacting to the environment in nonsensical, but highly intelligent ways. Not all UFO sightings are like this. Arizona lights was much more sane.

Uranus? No wonder. The land of 5 meo dmt (unless you stopped plugging)

I read a book once about the occult. They talked about how to 'download' expertise from people. The technique basically was, to place mindfulness and contemplation on imagination, and trying to uncover the substance of it. For example, if you wanted to be as good as Steve Jobs, you basically contemplate and place mindfulness everything that you imagine about steve jobs and what you admire about him, and through that you download Steve Job's skills. Based on my experience, this works well a little bit, but I still don't think this technique is totally effective. To truly learn everything about steve jobs, you have to go through all the challenges that he went through. Even if you imagine steve jobs, you're only imagining a specific aspect of him at once, and you need to actually do stuff like go up to him and talk to him, to 'generate' more imagination of steve jobs. I think its the same for zen masters. Your POV only contains aspects of the zen teacher, to 'generate' more aspects you need to go up and talk to him or be in his presence. You can't just know everything about that zen teacher but doing meditation in your living room.