electroBeam

Way Way Way higher than your chances of self actualizing. Especially by the way you're asking the question lol.

Exposure to subtle state of consciousness. Description and suggestions for maintaining it/remembering and entering its state sober: for action steps see here.

@Member cool! 29/08/2020 Ayahuasca Trip Report 2 This again was extremely mild. Took ayahuasca this time. Brewed syrian rue and 50 psychotria viridis leaves and drank both. Very very very very mild trip. Felt a slight high, but that's it. State I was in during peak: Best Attempt to come up with a plan to make this state permanent. To take back this state so that it is baseline consciousness. 1. Reread the above, and remember it 1000x a day. 2. Dealing with the atrocities in the world(narcissists, assholes, racists, homophobes, injustice, etc): Complete Harmony with the present moment and dream. integrate all aspects of present moment (including atrocities above) to maximise love. At the expense of all personal gain. If a cop comes over and arrests you for no reason, the best thing to do is to be in harmony with the cop and act in the least egoic way and maximise the love of the situation FOR the cop and the entire present moment as whole. When interacting with others, orient yourself to integrate with them. Cooperate with them. Align yourself with them. Be in harmony with them. Integrate yourself so much with them that you literally BE them. It feels like you are 100% connected to them. It feels like the body of your physical avatar is 1 finger, while their body is another finger. And both are working perfectly together. If you cannot do it, the trick is to be an optimist and to view everything in a way which makes cooperation possible. Makes working together, with them, as a collective whole, possible. This does not necessarily mean that the person will be happy about whatever you do. What it means is you align with god, and act in accord to the present moment to get the best outcome. The person isn't angry based on you projecting trauma or being a bitch, but by you letting go of ego resistance, completely surrendering and being in harmony with getting them to interact with you in the best way possible for maximising love, regardless of what that way is (even if its violence/they act violent towards you). This requires completely letting go of the ego. 3. Big picture, big picture, big picture. Go meta and meta and meta and meta and meta and meta. Go meta on EVERYTHING, then go meta on that, then go meta on that, and that and that and that. So meta that the human body is 1 tiny cog out of a thousand cogs working together as a whole. 4. Make your goal, motivation and passion around the highest/biggest picture result for the dream. maximising love over lifetimes. Maximise love not for yourself, or even for the planet. Maximise love for the entire dream. Entire dream. Entire dream. Entire dream. Entire dream. Entire dream. 5. Surrender resistance whenever you feel it. Replace the resistance for the bigger picture. Let go and be in harmony with everything. Simultaneously be a completely dedicated employee to god as a partial aspect of him/her, while being the entire thing at the same time. 6. prioritise smoothness, harmony over resistance: guilt, judgement, fear, etc. And the harmony is aligned by God's ultimate purpose and mission of maximal love. 7. Integration and harmony does not have conditions. Its perfectly possible to integrate and harmonise with anger, embarrassment, judgement, etc of others. Others can get angry at you, and you can still be in harmony with them. The point is to act in accord with the best possible way to maximise love, and to reduce/drop/eliminate resistance and egoic drives to do so. 8. Plan your life as 1 big experience as a whole. Integrate dating, your career and spirituality all together to make a cohesive whole where each aspect of your life compliments the other. The advice above is also highly practical for your life purpose because the most effective/efficient way to work on your LP is to integrate as whole with the present moment.

The following posts are all of my trip reports on dmt related psychedelics. 23/08/2020 Very Mild Ayahuasca Trip Report This is the first time I tried a 'hard' psychedelic, as the previous ones were just san pedro/mescaline. This trip was extremely mild because my brain chemistry is weird, or I ingested the substance incorrectly. Absolutely nothing like the trip reports. Nada. I took a mid to high dose of pharmahuasca (syrian rue extract + dmt extract) took it as per gordotek's instructions. The trip didn't come on until the 40 minute mark. At the 40 minute mark, there was a slight light headedness, more bliss in my body than usual, more relaxation than usual and loss of time and space moreso than usual. But no dmt machine elves, or snakes or visuals, or entering new realms, or anything like that. Or ego death either. This sensation lasted for about 4-6 hours. Contemplation Activities Beginning So around the 1 to 2 hour mark, I got disappointed with the experience. So I decided to try to make the most of this light headed buzzing feeling by contemplating deeply what it was. Somehow my focus went to the question of "what is a psychedelic trip? What is ayahuasca? Why does ayahuasca make you high? If ayahuasca is a dream then how the fuck can a dream wake you up?" I then became very very aware of how everything right now is being created instantly. There is no creative storage for the creativity to activate from (unlike what the materialist paradigm believes. It believes when things appear, they were always there in the 3D world, and just appear when we look at them. But in reality they weren't there, they were created for the first time every millisecond, first time because memory is also a creation. Memory != truth). So if you were to ask, "when was jesus born?" what you would do is visualise or think about the birth of jesus. An image or thought or something pops up of when he was born, where he was born, the mood, etc. Of his birth. THIS is when Jesus was born. Jesus is being born as soon as you think about his birth. Its literally happening, his birth, as soon as you think about it. It didn't happen in the past, its happening when you think about it, in other words NOW. You think those thoughts are pointing to some truth. Some time when Jesus WAS born. But pointers are illusions. They don't point to anything. They point to themselves, themselves as a dream. And the TRUTH is that Jesus being born is a dream. The truth is the thought itself, not what the thought points to. There's actually no difference between stuff you imagine in your head, and stuff that apparently 'actually' happens. If you have the thought of having a shower, you may feel pleasant at the visualisation of the water touching your body, you body might start to feel warm, etc. Then that will encourage you to go actually have one. But You already had the shower as soon as you thought about it. Thinking about having a shower IS having a shower. You think there is some special pleasant magic inside the shower that makes you feel good, and that's why you go have a shower. But if that's truly the case then how the fuck did you feel good just by thinking and visualising it? You ARE what you seek... Same goes with sex. I personally can have sex in my mind just as well as sex with an actual person. And that's because there's no difference. The sex in my mind is just as real as the sex in person. Sex with a person is purely conceptual. Not just sex, but pain, suffering, going to jail, murder, paedophilia, going to the gym, eating healthy, etc. Are ALL conceptual. And the world being a dream became much much more prevalent. It was just standing out at this point. I was aware that when people look at me, they aren't looking at a face, because I don't have a face. I'm headless. But God wants to keep the dream realistic, so he makes everyone who looks at me seem like I have a face, but the reality is I don't. And when people's faces look at me, the back of their head literally isn't there. And then this led to who are these people anyway. People with their own lives? Own ambitions, wants, needs, plans, purpose in life? Pffttttt, get real, of course they don't. They aren't there. If you ask someone what's your plan for today, and they say they are going to the shops, they didn't say that because they actually have a plan, they said that because you made up their plan on the spot. And then tricked yourself into believing they had their own plans. So if they don't have any of that stuff, what do they have? Well nothing. You're creating it all. An alternative perspective to duality/the 3D materialist world An alternative perspective for why they are there, is because the 3D world/maya/duality is not real, its a language. Its God expressing truth through language. That means if a guru sits down in front of you. A guru didn't just sit down in front of you, God had some wisdom or knowledge or truth to share, and he decided to share it through the projections of the guru sitting down in front of you. And then things seem much more like an RPG game, like Zelda. See when Zelda is talking to some knight or peasant on the streets. Zelda as a character actually thinks those peasants or knights have their own life beyond the scene for which Zelda asked them a question, but we the players, know that they don't. Further we know that those peasants and knights were put in the game PURELY as part of Zelda's adventure. And this is my perspective of all humans on the planet right now, including my character electroBeam. They aren't real, or have a life beyond my awareness, they are simply there as part of the journey I'm on, and every interaction, observation, etc. Is simply God trying to tell me something about my journey and conscious evolution, just like how the peasants and knights were there just so the video game creators could tell the player something about the storyline of the video game. Everything to the contrary is simply stuff that isn't actually there. And what is God trying to tell me? Why is God even trying to tell me anything? Just give me and you what we both want for God's sake and quit with this indirect bullshit? Well very paradoxically, God is trying to tell me that I am what I seek. That's it somehow. Everything that the characters in this game say, the stuff that happens in this game, all of it, is just trying to tell me that I am what I seek. But why not just BE God? Why must we fuck around with the game? Lets just get rid of the game then? Because God loves to create. The entire game is just a way for God to create simply for the sake of creating. For some reason God is extremely enthusiastic about the idea of creating. The potential to create. This is why God can reincarnate as Hitler and be ok with it, because its a whole new opportunity to create. Something God loves the idea of. Creating without goal, the creation itself is the point. What IS God Under all the creation was an image in my mind of a sky, clouds, and inbetween the clouds and the sky was a white spherical energy beaming out white light. This image was accompanied with the feelings of "total", "bliss", "final", "end", "ultimate", "beginning", "who you were before you were born", "truth", "love", "sacredness", "divine" It was extremely close. It was too close, so close that you don't notice it. And it was under or before every possible assumption you can make. Awakening doesn't feel like an achievement, because you created duality to make it seem like an achievement. But you created that. You created everything. Its only an achievement if you still believe that achievement is a real thing. In the end you're just playing with your toy soldier set, pretending that one of them is realising you're you, but you're the one behind it all along anyway. And if you're creating everything then why can't you control the dream? Because you're operating from a first person point of view. In reality there is no first person point of view, that's all created by God. And then you might ask, well then why don't we change the dream not from the first person point of view, but from God? Well THATS WHAT YOURE DOING NOW. You're pretending you're in the first person, and you're pretending that you can't control the dream. And that IS what you want. You want to not control the dream, otherwise this reality wouldn't be what it is now. You're like a shakespeare character on stage, asking the audience why must the play be this way? HELLO! You made it that way before the stage began, pretending that you don't like the way things are going is what you wanted all along. Drop the first person, and all your problems will go away. But its likely you wont do that, because how else are you going to express your full creativity as God without being in the first person? Did the Ayahuasca caused my light tingling feeling in my head? Or was that placebo? Honestly this was the biggest question on my mind the entire time. I usually feel bliss, so how do I know whether its the ayahuasca doing it? And this question is important, because if the ayahuasca is not doing it then why take the ayahuasca? Well this is where the 'game' starts to break down. You're pretending that this question is important, but it isn't. Life is all 1 experience. Whether you got high or not is completely unrelated to taking the ayahuasca. All the highness you get is from God (the Godhead) and taking the ayahuasca is just an expression of that. Its God's creation and story he's making to signify waking up in the story. The ayahuasca is an illusion, yet you still take it to wake up because God's making the story that way. You think your first person IS TRUTH, and therefore you think FREE WILL is truth, and taking ayahuasca makes you high IS TRUTH, and meditating wakes you up IS TRUTH. But the real truth is, the first person perspective is a dream AS A WHOLE. The entire experience from taking the ayahuasca to waking up AS A WHOLE is ONE BIG DREAM. You're a character. You think you seriously care about meditating, taking ayahuasca, etc? Hell no. That's an illusion, you're just pretending you do. Pretending to such an extent that it feels super real. God isn't trying to take ayahuasca to wake up, because that's needed. God is pretending to take ayahuasca to wake up as part of the story and as part of making an epic dance/play. Why was my psychedelic trip so different to others? Why didn't I see DMT machine elves and crazy realms and all the shit I wanted to see!! Well why do you even want to see that stuff in the first place? What's so good about DMT machine elf realms? Ohhh tada! You think those realms are REAL and TRUE! You don't think they are a dream, you think they are truth! That's where the appeal is coming from. But where are you getting your ideas of dmt machine elf land from? Concepts from youtube videos and trip reports! And what are they? Dreams! And why do you want to see dmt machine elf land? Because you're confusing the dream for TRUTH! You don't understand what a pointer truly is. And this is what all those hippies and shamans are doing. They are having an experience on ayahuasca, projecting stuff like machine elfs, then confusing those projections for TRUTH! When its you who created it all along. And the hippies and shamans are ultimately doing this due to God's love for creation. Contemplation Contemplation is great, but I've realised, its a creative process rather than a discovery process. Discovering God is actually just letting go. Contemplation is about creating. I could contemplate for the next trillion years, get amazing mystical insights, yet be no closer to BEING god. And those mystical insights are still good by themselves, because as said before, creating is fricken awesome! Its such a pleasure to do. But when it comes to waking up, its about letting go, not contemplating. Moving forward for me personally So as said in the report, this was extremely mild and I aint happy about it. So I'll be upping the dose 5x times next time. Although I've got this strange feeling that psychedelics of this variant don't work for me. I still have a desire to seek. I'm still not happy with my understanding of reality. So I'll continue on.

I get ya. I'm not saying that you can do a job interview on 10 grams of mushrooms. I'm saying "the idea of jobs, interviews, language, self and other would be completely obliterated" can be realized now sober as it is for several people on this forum. And from there psychedelics have no effect on you like ram dass's guru that focused on god to not get affected by psychedelics. Sure, in the same way as saying "I think the effective way to analysing legends of zelda is to become very clear on both the differences and similarities between what zelda feels during level 2 and what he feels during level 5... and also why he feels that way, what causes him to feel that way, and when he would feel different. Also we should analyse how he feels in relation to the colour in the sky". You can analyse and contemplate for eternity, and its all super cool and useful and fun and exciting. Its a process of creation. But confusing the creation for the truth is a trap. You can analyse zelda to death, but never forget its all bullshit. Analysing zelda is not discovering the truth, but a creative exercise... you're creating stuff for fun. Like a child creating stuff with lego blocks. Then you'll get lost in your creation and here you are You can analyse psychedelic states to death, but there are consequences to believing your analysis is true. Its not true its false and completely a creative exercise.

What's the difference between a cup and a computer?

@Consilience form radically alters every millisecond, not just when you're tripping. What is different when tripping is your interpretations of that form.

@acidgoofy yep that's exactly right, focus on God and you don't get any effects.

That's why I'm a mathematician/machine learning engineer. You wont understand my words, but you'll understand my math Or no you wont understand my math, but it will work, and that's good enough for impacting the world. But yeah for you(a youtube video maker) guess words are important for ya. I'm not demonising materialism, but its 1 paradigm out of a trillion, and I don't see any reason to use it other than niche cases. Its so overrated on the planet and even on this forum.

You wont be open to it. That's like an atheist saying "your making a pretty bold claim that the ego doesn't exist. If you can reach a non egoic state then you should be able to explain it easily" You think the atheist will listen? If you truly care to know, go investigate it yourself. I'm showing you that its clearly possible for you. If it interests you. Go investigate psychedelics and see how they work. It wont make you enlightened by doing this, but it will quench your curiosity. You're not aware yet that there's more than 1 'physicality' happening in the present moment right now. Every object in awareness are a million different objects at once. From a tribal/purple stage, a mobile phone is NOT a phone, but an enchanted monolith that has access to the gods. From an orange stage perspective a phone is a clock work, Newtonian machine that is working of logic and order. From a green stage its a disruption of harmony with nature, from a turquoise stage its part of a bigger whole. And that's just spiral dynamics. Now consider what a phone is from the perspective of animals, insects, aliens, different objects (a beer bottle sees a phone in a totally different way to you). What a phone is, is relative to your identity. If you're aware every millisecond that your identity is relative (I.E. you're not a human, you can identify with anything) then you're capable of seeing every object in the room from a million perspectives at once. If you identify with paper, as soon as the paper gets ripped in half, you'll look at that like someone ripping your grandma in half. Identity is very relative. And maya is constructed from it. And then there are perspectives happening NOW where a phone isn't even recognisable, because the concept of phone just doesn't make sense. You can access any of these perspectives now SOBER. You just need to contemplate and question deeply about what's happening you. You can even just dissolve into white light now. Again by question what the fuck is in front of you. And when you take psychedelics, you're altering your identity and therefore altering what's in the room. You alter your identity not because the psychedelics are altering your neurochemistry (all that materialist stuff is an illusion/dream) the psychedelics are a placebo that's tricking you into thinking you're altering your neurochemistry. If you completely stop identifying with being a human, psychedelics stop working, because the placebo of "im a human and taking psychedelics affects my body" doesn't make sense anymore. That's why beer bottles don't get high when they take psychedelics, because that's not what you believe. Not because the materialist paradigm is real and absolute and its a real fact that beer bottles don't have neurochemistry to alter and blablalba... In your next reincarnation maybe you will dream up the possibility of beer bottles able to get high. What's real is what you dream up, and you can dream up anything. And you're dreaming up the idea of a human getting high with psychedelics and that's why they work, because you're dreaming them up. As soon as the dream starts to be revealed, it breaks down, and through contemplation you can actually question and change the dream. That's why Newtonian mechanics was real in the past but isn't real anymore. That's how going up spiral dynamic stages work. You literally change the dream by seeing form in different perspectives. And as for the rest of what you said. A materialist mindset isn't appropriate for the discussion. I suggest you use another one. Trying to figure out what's happening subjectively with shrooms using a materialist mindset is no more effective than trying to figure out the subjective effects of shrooms through looking in the bible for the answers. When you go to a job interview, there's already a trillion different physical dimensions happening NOW! Heck infinity is happening NOW! If you can manage infinity, what's so hard about 10g of shrooms?

Reincarnation is as real as a cup. Its not quite true to say that a cup is false/there's no such thing as a cup. There is a cup. Cups are real, they are just dreams. What's not real is what you think the cup is pointing to, which is some 3D object in a 3D world. A cup is real, but its not what you think it is. A picture of the atlantis is real, but the belief that the picture represents some real thing out there isn't real/doesn't exist. But the picture itself is real. The atlantis is a dream/picture. Likewise, reincarnation IS real, as a dream. But its not real in the sense that it points to some phenomena in the 3D world. Its real as a dream. Here's what I discovered about reincarnation:

Depends what practising seriously means for you. The conventional understanding of what 'serious practice' is, is quite limited. You could get 1000x more results just genuinely being curious all the time as you walk in the park then you can sitting in a cave following yogic instructions. And then there's what 'serious' actually means. Is being serious beneficial to spiritual growth? Or is it a limiting mindset? Seriousness can actually block you from being light hearted with your thoughts and beliefs, and actually cause you to cling onto certain limiting beliefs that prevent the ego from being shed. Most people who 'practice seriously' are actually just building up spiritual ego or an identity around being a meditator, yogi, etc. By saying 'practice seriously', you're already assuming a particular identity archetype. And identity archetypes are again limited and can block you from growth. In my experience, spiritual growth is not caused by doing a particular technique, but by how your life is as a whole/entire experience. Spiritual growth is proportional to career + health + walks in the path + your personality + people around you + etc. And spiritual practice is one of those aspects. And saying that 'you're enlightening or growing spiritually' is again a false notion, because you're not growing spiritually. Life, the present moment, as a whole is waking up. Not just you particularly, but the entire universe is waking up. There is no you waking up. And if spiritual growth is caused by all those things as one experience, then saying that psychedelics cause personal growth to your human form or don't cause growth is a pretty limited way to look at it. Go as far as to say its a red herring. Its completely irrelevant to question whether psychedelics are waking you up or not, because you as an individual are not even waking up. You, as an individual, are part of an entire whole, and your effects off the psychedelics are 1 cog of the entire universe. And that one cog is doing stuff in combination with all the other cogs to wake up as a whole. And the real question is, how are psychedelics waking up the entire universe as a whole? What's their function for the whole? How does you, as an individual help the entire whole wake up? Taking into account multiple lifetimes, multiple identities, etc. What is your story? How does your story work? How is everything in your story contribute to everything in your story waking up as an entire whole? How are your psychedelic experiences, not just taking them, but the process of aquiring them, taking them, and the after effects of taking them affect universal waking up? How does the way you take them, the room you take them in, the time you take them, the day you take them, what you take, the thoughts, music, friends, family, career you have when you're preparing to take them, take them and after taking them affect waking up? Notice that if your room, friends, time period, career was slightly different to the way it is now, your experience and waking up process would be entirely different. You can't just single out psychedelics as a single thing waking you up. Its everything in combination. Your room is affecting the waking up process just as much as the psychedelics. Thats why this notion of psychedelics vs no psychedelics and spiritual talent is just silly, because you're singling out 1 factor out of millions of factors for the waking up process.

question why you are asking this question.

Go study how psychedelics work on a metaphysical level. Take a psychedelic and focus your awareness on how consciousness is changing and WHY. Before taking the psychedelic, notice what your consciousness is like compared to an ordinary day. You'll notice your consciousness is actually heightened before taking the psychedelic purely because you're about to take one. Question why your consciousness increases when you feel bliss, and all the other stuff that happens on a psychedelic. Why is it that psychedelic phenomena = higher consciousness? Whose projecting that? Why isn't the office desk just as high conscious as bliss and being a tv monitor, or the entire universe or dmt machine elves or seeing visuals? What's so special about that stuff compared to your office desk? Its a projection. You're projecting that psychedelic states are higher conscious than your office desk because blablabla and therefore that makes you actually go to higher states of consciousness. You're projecting that as part of the matrix or maya or illusion you're in, as part of the story you're in. Its a way of maintaining your story as a human being. If you were to admit that your office is just as groundless as psychedelic states like dmt machine elves, then your story would be fucked, so you did something clever and projected the idea of psychedelics, mystical states, etc. And projected the idea of the 'normal' world and the 'psychedelic' or 'mystical state' world, and separated and projected a difference between the two. The reality is they aren't 2, they are ONE. They are the same. But your reality would be destroyed by admitting that, so you created the 2 to maintain your lower/egoic consciousness. Its like you're asking, "how the hell are you able to turn off healing yourself when you're given a placebo antibiotic that's actually made of salt rather than antibiotics".

I actually took 10 grams of mushrooms recently as a test, then I did sober stuff, and I reached the same state sober. I've also got the 'ability' to turn psychedelic states on and off after taking them at will. I can literally not feel anything from 10g of mushrooms if I want to. But there's no point arguing here, you guys are just 'out of the loop'.

And yet there's a higher measurement: How capable are you of loving and accepting others' and your lack of humility

I didn't say that at all. They are conscious of the dream.

You mean the waking dream? Because that's where you become a bear in. Not some virtual dream like what happens when you sleep. Why would you make a case against psychedelics? What are you trying to get against? My point was actually more about how psychedelics are still within the dream. I don't really get why you actually think psychedelics are beyond the dream. Enlightened people are beyond the dream, they are God, they are prior to psychedelics. And my point was, by putting psychedelics on a pedastool, and saying these enlightened people don't know what they are talking about in terms of psychedelics, is putting the horse before the cart. Your argument sounds like this: "Lucas Arts has no idea of the power of the death star. Lucas arts are talking about low level understanding that star wars is just a movie. Lucas arts should go to a planet and get blasted by the death star, then they'll see what the death start truly is". If you're enlightened, you're 10000% aware that you are creating the death star, and you remember what it is like prior to the death star. The above sounds absurd because its as if you're not conscious of what you've created. If you're enlightened you're conscious of everything. No pebble left unturned. I know but they did in the past. And spiritual teachings we use today are largely from the past.

+1 bro. That's one of the most useful cases of psychedelics, you're enlightened? Take a kg of mushrooms just to make sure. Its called a samadhi experience m8. Well known amongst spiritual teachers. You can reach salvia/mushroom like absorption with an object through samadhi practice. Shamans have sober practices using drumming to literally BE an animal like a bird, or wolf or bear. I've done it before, you literally forget you're a human and literally BE a bear. That's why in video games like world of warcraft, shamans are the ones that turn into different animals, its based on 'real' shamanic practices. Also I'm not sure how far this particular point is gonna go, but I'll write it anyway. The rigour of spiritual practices in the past was not the same as the rigour it is today. There are stories of students meditating in caves for 40 years, without distractions of mobile phones, computers, scientific paradigm, etc. The potential of the human race to get far with sober methods was much higher in the past than it is today. So psychedelic states that you believe are profound were quite normal for students in the past. You're living in a different time, and its valuable and wise to take that into consideration relatively speaking. Absolutely speaking, what I'm saying is, because time and the ego/psyche is imaginary, there are dimensions in consciousness where sober methods do reach psychedelic states, due to God being infinity/tautology. Some people have transcended the notion of a psychedelic, seen through it, saw how its just a placebo effect, and saw how they were creating it. I've spoken to them face to face, and they were avid psychedelic users before realising of such fact. You have to throw away your dualistic notions of 'psychedelic' on the spiritual path at some point, otherwise you're holding onto a dualistic aspect of reality for no good reason.

Insights Today: 1. Accepting reality does not mean accepting devilry or delusion. It does not mean accepting 'bad', 'evil', 'corruption', 'judgement', 'hatred', etc. It means accepting the thing that causes those judgements. Accept the thing that causes those judgements, but replace the judgements with optimism, love, passion, bliss, 'being proud', etc. For example if you're socially awkward. Accepting reality does not mean accepting that you're a no hoper, or that you're bad with humans, etc. It means accepting the awkwardness that causes the judgements of being a no hoper or bad with humans. Then loving that awkwardness, being optimistic that the awkwardness can be loved by others and can lead you to living a good life (reframing the awkwardness from = lack of prosperity to = lots of prosperity) is beautiful, funny, cool, cute, and you should be proud of it. 2. Handling the macro and micro. Macro = hands off. Micro = hands on. When inventing a solution to a problem, and you're the leader of a team, give your employees the macro tasks, but be hands on and largely do the micro tasks yourself (if you're a creator like me). The micro task being the 'linchpin' or the crux of the whole idea. The important part, the gem, the oracle or the heart of the entire thing.

If you haven't had schizophrenic experiences on this path, then likely you aint doing the practices properly.

After a day I think the ayahuasca I had did affect me more than I expected, because my baseline was a bit lower than it was on the ayahuasca. Orientation for living a good life: Life is a play/dance/story/movie/dream. Its made of magical pixie dust (aka consciousness). Life becomes not fun when you take it too seriously, when you fear death and don't see the bigger picture: which is the entire point of life is to create for the sake of creating, because as God you love your creations and you love creating. Bliss and Love IS creating. When you fear death, and fear other stuff, you start projecting stuff that isn't fun and isn't true, such as your coworkers don't like you, you're bad at blablabla, you're evil, you're a monster, lava and certain items are poisonous and bad, etc. Its so much more beautiful to see lava as a dream, rather than to see it as something that can kill you. Compare the lava in real life vs the lava in legends of zelda. Notice that the lava in legends of zelda is 1000x more beautiful than the lava in real life? That's because the legends of zelda lava can't kill you! Notice that horror movies are so much more fun when you're conscious that they are just movies. Not real. Too much immersion = fear. Not enough immersion = cynicism, nihilism, stupid adviata vedanta traps like everything is an illusion, intellectual detachment. Get the balance right. The bigger picture of life is to create! Create beautiful, amazing awesome things. If you do that, you're in tune with God. If you don't do that, you're fucked, and FYI low self esteem, fear, devilry, self deception, etc. Is not beautiful creation. Beautiful creation is passionate creation. Creation that brings you bliss and love. Instead of life being a 3D world, its actually a language designed for God to communicate to you Truth, Love and Bliss. And God communicates to you this way due to Your love of creation. He doesn't tell you stuff directly, because by telling you stuff indirectly, he can create an epic play in the process of your waking up process.

Spiral dynamics still has you by the balls. Do you even know what values are? Are they even real? Why is stage orange a sin? Why do you judge stage orange? What's so hateful about it? Is stage orange bad in reality? Why are you even looking at the world through stage orange in the first place? Do you even know whether the world is stage orange? Or are you just bullshitting yourself? Do you see stage orange during ego death on a LSD trip? Where's this stage orange stuff coming from?

The fear is coming from thinking about what WILL happen instead of what's happening now. You're confusing the future for truth, when actually the future is a lie/imaginary. Try and let go of the future and 'jump off a cliff' or have a leap of faith.

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