electroBeam

The spiritual path is about attitude guys. Its not about achieving a particular state, doing stuff like killing yourself, becoming aware of phenomena and aspects of reality... Its not about interpreting your experiences as psychotic or not. Its about having a positive, loving attitude towards WHATEVER arises. Whether that is dissolving of self, dissociation or forgetting parts of reality, hallucinations, etc. Both @roopepa and the original poster are both failing MASSIVELY on having the right, positive attitude towards whatever is arising. Your ego has no free will. Its not in control. Taking large doses of magic mushrooms did not occur because your ego has free will and took them based of reason or judgement. The experience was gonna happen anyway, because that's what God wanted, not you. And you tricked yourself into thinking the experience happened because of you, the personal self, rather than to you, because you can't handle the fact that your egos don't have free will. Learn to accept whatever arises, whether thats insanity, a breakup, boss getting angry at you, uncomfortable trauma, etc. Rather than trying to control whatever arises in consciousness (which is straight up one of the most retarded and delusional beliefs you have. Because your thoughts, phenomena, what you do, etc. Is not caused by your ego. Its caused by the present moment). That's how the spiritual path is meant to be done.

well lucky for you, its not actually there.

Totally agree

Nonduality IS insanity and madness from the POV of duality

Bahahahahha. Don't know how to answer that one. Would have feel whats going on inside your head.

Definitely not true. You can have kundalini awakenings sober that are way more insane then psychedelics because you're tripping for an entire week instead of just 20 minutes, 6 or 12 hours

@StarStruck Along with the suggestion of attachment styles, you can also try loving kindness meditation. No need to make things complex. Just sit down, imagine or think about a time you really cared for someone, or had empathy for someone, then just generate more, then spread that energy to your parents, friends, strangers, people who bullied you. You can also try loving what arises(matt khan). And you can also try Byron Katies love/forgiveness technique.

Interesting Interesting. I've also tried extraction too but to no avail. Yep thats a good point. I might need to try vaping.

If algae comes from the ocean, then it definitely has as much mercury as fish. And even if they say its removed during processing, can you trust them?

@Leo Gura Sounds like if I ever need to get you off my case, I just need to shake some fish in your face.

Maybe your free will is controlled by me, and my free will is controlled by you?

I think being brutally honest is great. Sure you might not get laid, and have your ego propped up as much by being genuine and honest then if you follow pickup stuff, but by being brutally honest, you get to feel good in your body, knowing you've lived up to the genuine principals that you strongly value, and haven't done anything with bad intentions or karmic. The problem is, for brutal honesty to get you some pussy, you need to do lots and lots of shadow work first. You need to show your REAL self, not the fucked up one you're identifying with (delusional self). The fake self is the one turning her off. The needy addicted to porn one. That's not your real self. A lot of people on here are telling you to just read books on how to make women wet and then follow them. That's a lazy strategy. That's the strategy you do when you're too lazy to be your real self. Its a short term, depressing strategy. Try and do shadow work on yourself and become more than just a mere human. Feel good in your bones first. Feel like you're on psychedelics all the time, then go up to these women.

You get whatever you want. Everyone is different. If I try mescaline, ayahuasca or lsd, they all end up being pretty much the same experience for me. No visuals, no aliens or hallucinations, just pure present moment.

wild alaskan salmon is fine. It has very little to no heavy metals.

Holy shit. What is suffering? Its literally, LITERALLY diversion from truth. It is LITERALLY discord from truth. It is LITERALLY avoiding truth. It is LITERALLY running away from truth. And one very good example of diversion from truth, is believing you have free will. what is free will? the belief that you can divert from the truth. How do you end suffering? By not believing you can divert from the truth. What does that mean practically? that question assumes free will Go into the eye of the storm ~ bashar. The procedure: 1. identify what you(ego) wants. 2. recognise what you(ego) wants is literally not the truth. 3. let go of what you(ego) wants.

That's you've got a big show off ego that thinks he's the bees knees

Super weird and hilarious state of consciousness. I feel like the entire game is just gonna stop. Like the dreaming will stop. The dream is over. And this isn't scary, this is fucken hilarious. Because I never ever, in my entire life, contemplated the possibility that the game could just stop bahahahahah. There's no ego to care about the game stopping. About the dreaming ending. Its just gonna eventually happen bahahahahahhaha. And this feels super radical. I thought the previous experience was radical. Fuck no. If the previous experience was an ego death, then this is a god death. God dying. Of course God isn't dying, but the entire dream as a whole is gonna die. Which again is fucken hilarious. Because I just never thought the dream could die. I literally don't care about work, or anything else, because its gonna cease to exist bahahahahahhaha. It is literally a physical death. Its gunpoint, except with the entire universe, not just electroBeam. electroBeam isn't just about to die, but everyone is bahahahahha. All at once. Fucken nuts this shit is.

@Raptorsin7 from my perspective, you're like a character planning 1 year in the future when there's only 2 pages left of the book bahahahahahahhaha. Why delegate when they wont be there? EDIT: or maybe it has already ended, and thinking otherwise is delusion hahahahaha. But I totally get you, with the whole schizophrenic thing. I think the way out of this fear is to realize and accept that the book literally is closing. Which isn't scary at all, its fucken hilarious. But again, totally get where you're coming from with the whole schizophrenic thing, I thought the same a couple a weeks ago. Its interesting because, it feels like time will just keep going forward forever. But what if stops this saturday? bahahaha No one's contemplated that, but it feels so true. Just writing this for fun, don't get too freaked out.

Main reason why I'm writing this here is there is 1 bit of resistance/confusion occurring within me. Its about living life. Working, friendships, family, buying groceries, etc. The past week, has seen a drop in my performance at work. A complete lack of care for paying my bills. I complete lack of care for doing family stuff. And there's resistance or 'feeling bad' about that. Is there actually an absolute, true feeling bad about it? Honestly I don't think I care about the above happening. Its just social conditioning. But its a very strong form of resistance, so strong that I can't inspect and tell the difference between whether its social conditioning or an actual discord or dissonance with love/what I feel. There's lots of social conditioning about the path in me that are deep in my bones. Hearing about how stupid Eckhart Tolle was for sitting at a parkbench for a year. Listening to Leo talk about the importance of materialistic possessions on 'the path'. So much more. And these aren't even general social conditioning from my parents, these are the premium grade beliefs, the ones from the noble wise tier of 'spiritual teachers and the path'. The benevolent beliefs. The ones that I care about, because spirituality is so important to me. Its the only thing I care about. And there's a bit of a tug of war going on, because I genuinely don't care about those things. Its the tension that is arising within me. A week ago, I thought I was going to go insane. I thought I was about to have dementia. There was massive bliss that at random times were dissolving the universe. I was at the gym and worried I was about to enter a 10 gram trip. It was intense. And then a week of that, finally the bliss just overrided the body and mind, and everything beyond appearance just dropped away. All of the fear, karma and trauma of electroBeam died with electroBeam, so even though it was traumatic, didn't matter in the end. An end to a horror movie, just left to laugh at it. The next nights saw huge amounts of dissolving bliss just override the body, and the body had massive existential fear... but there was no one to care. The existential fear was detached, and reality was allowed to do whatever it wanted. Like a plane that's got the emergency lights ringing, but no pilot. The next days I had very intense breathing pain and I developed a fever. I thought I had cancer. Did I care? Fuck no. In fact, that would have been a perfect way to end. All people's worldviews, opinions, literally don't exist. All humans are flares of intelligence (you). Everything other than that intelligence is delusion. And you're all here right now pretending to be everywhere, absolutely everywhere, but here. And my entire career, all of the motivation of it, literally came from the opinions of others. Opinions of my boss, coworkers, parents. And when those slipped away... there's no desire to take my career super seriously. Just enough to eat food... and even that, if the body dies who the fuck cares? I still had a tiny strand of belief in my career to keep going at that time. There's absolute no desire to do family things. There's no desire to do anything like that. There is a will though. A will to help as many appearances/flares of intelligence (me) get through this dream the best way possible. Huge sense of compassion for the flares. Because the flares are me. And that's why electroBeam has been more active on here recently. Trying to help as many as possible, a natural transition from helping the human, to helping the dream. And this desire to help has nothing to do with my career. Its a total illusion my career. But I have to eat! I have to live. But its a total illusion! But I have to eat! Oh the tug of war! With no one to care about the tug of war of course hahahahah. There is a desire/will to help others, to overcome my egoic identifications that are still left (because there's still lots of identification to purge). To let go of the remaining judgements I have of the world. And most importantly, to quench my desire to know WHY WHY WHY. WHY plants? Trees? grass? Leo? The path? Why everything! And that went full steam ahead. Because without an ego, the work to do the above just went in overdrive. And now, that belief that was keeping my career in tact, is just about gone. Because, the entire universe (all the appearances) are talking to me, all the time. The light posts, the television, people, facebook, even my colleagues, calculator, trees, especially the flowers. They are all telling me that they are exactly the way they are because of <...> something they are keeping a secret from me. "haven't you noticed, that me the light post, is exactly this shape because <...>" "haven't you noticed that time is here because of <...>" "haven't you noticed that this receipt is on the ground precisely because of <...>" "haven't you noticed your spiritual path unfolded this way because of <...>" "haven't you noticed your ex is this precise one because of <...>" "haven't you noticed that Leo talks about infinite love, Rumi talks about infinite love because of <...>" "haven't you noticed that Sadhguru's deep care for the world is precisely because he sees <...>" Yeah for sure, I'm feeling that extremely deep sense of importance of the universe too. But fucking tell me all you appearances! Tell me! "Nah, not yet" Why bitch! Tell me! I'm begging to know. And I just cannot keep a career going in this state... Because whatever the above is, seems a trillion times more important than my career. And any materialistic stuff. Oh but the tug of war! Those beliefs telling me not to screw up my career are really fucking convincing. The universe feels like once <...> happens, literally everything will dissolve and it will be game over. And you know what? Fucken great! Who the fuck cares! Because there's no ego to care? I'm totally fine and on board with game over! The tug of war is driving me nuts. And I'm posting here for clarity and resolve of it. Its been driving me nuts for the past few days. Cannot figure out what <...> is, and don't know whether I should be worried about how I'm basically chucking my material existence away. Is it wise to chuck that away? My care for it is almost none. End up in mcdonalds and who the fuck cares.

Suffering is like vomiting. You eat shit (like mould for example) and you don't even realise it. Then while you're going about your day as normal, you feel a slight bit of nausea. You may think about it, or like most people just pass it off as something not important. Then it gets bigger and bigger, to the point where you can't ignore it anymore. You go through a sort of hell in the next phase... but if you look closely, its a feeling good sort of hell. You're about to release horrible shit from your system, detox and get better. But it sure as hell doesn't always seem like that at the time. Then once you purge all that shit from your stomach, you arrive at a place that feels highly euphoric, highly cleansed, highly motivated, you feel lighter and stronger. This is your life in a nutshell. All the suffering that's arising from within is mental vomit that's trying to leave your system. In the next weeks, you'll be spending time letting go and purging all that mental trauma that you've been carrying for your entire life, that's being weighing you down and making your life shit for a long time. Now its time to let it go. Get it out of your system. Start releasing the horrible cravings that get you stuck eating bad food, start releasing the anxiety, start releasing the negative thoughts, start releasing the emotional problems you've had with your family, start releasing any regret from medicine or your career. Do it all so that, like vomiting, when you get through it, you'll finally feel the most euphoric you would have felt in your entire life.

If you genuinely want help from here then the best advice you can get, is you're distorting your mystical experiences and awakenings to produce some massive ego trip, and that's shooting yourself in the foot without realising it. There's nothing wrong with doing that. Absolutely wrong. You're not bad for doing that. You deserve to be loved as much as anyone else on here. But it has consequences, and those consequences is your distortion of the truth is sending you into deadly (imaginary, but seems real) realms which is giving you significant issues. For example, sleep issues, incorrectly making links between mental disorders and God, projecting what power God actually has (because there's a subtle delusion going on there if you look closely), etc. I know it sounds outlandish, but I've got a feeling that you could overcome a good 50% of your problems by practising humility, appreciation, gratitude and altruism.

thanks man for the help, that was super quick. https://www.foxnews.com/politics/michigan-city-decriminalizes-magic-mushrooms-other-psychedelic-plants?fbclid=IwAR27_lKgbTB8jnQHoMxMd0XrLab-miOtu5Wux5yezfVtcUk-Muifks7-9KI

Insight: belief is literally a placeholder for lack of understanding/consciousness. To limit the universal mind, you separate it so that you're only conscious of part of it. The other parts, that you're not conscious of, are filled with beliefs to fill up the vacuum. So if you feel a belief, that's a sign that you're feeling an air pocket/vacuum of consciousness, and you ought to contemplate it, let go of the beliefs, feel it, to pop the consciousness out of it. And that's literally how raising of consciousness occurs. Beliefs are different to thoughts. Beliefs are thoughts that you think are true. They make up the truth of your reality. How to spot a belief? Whenever a thought or phenomena or aspect of reality feels dull, negative, limited, depressing, sad, not true, 'something missing here', confusing, boring, irritating, scary, hurtful, hopeless, deadly, evil, bad.

Would that make a difference?

What's interesting is, you feel like your story you wrote in the OP is true. Yet you have no scientific studies to back it up, I doubt anyone has told you that story directly, there's no bible that says "if I work at mcdonalds I'm a failure!" Plenty of immigrants would love to work in mcdonalds as a canadian. Your only source of evidence is basically you believing in it. How do you know you're not already engaging in fantasy/delusion in your original post?