electroBeam

False Evidence Appearing Real

1) what's the point of suffering? Why suffer? 2) why do we chase happiness instead of just accepting what we are? 3) the universe/present moment/You has no boundaries, yet right now the dream is in a very specific form. Why that specific form right now? 4) Does infinity include delusion? If so how does it if delusion isn't true/actually there.

I remember ages ago Ivankiss made a post where he said he felt frozen in time. Feeling that really strongly now on a day to day basis. All of survival has shrunk into a tiny ball, and there's just pure form and formlessness beyond that ball. That ball of survival contains all my work meetings, traumas, obligations, duties, etc. It use to be embedded into appearances but now its a compressed, tiny ball in the centre of the present moment. That ball also contains highly subtle dualities like we are changing from day to night, objects move continuously through space, people think linearly, etc. Once those dualities are removed it feels like you're frozen in time. Its always 7:00pm and never changes in a sense. Super curious to reread that post because im feeling a high level of resonance with it. Can't seem to find it anywhere though. Would love if you guys could point me to it.

ahhhhhh thanks!

@ivankiss coincidence much

@seeking_brilliance thanks excellentè

Doer vs Non Doer A doing can still happen without the I thought. The I thought is not needed to do. You can do through consciousness itself, you don't need an I thought to do stuff. Motivations have since been through stimulation of ego/I thought. Chasing what the I thought reacts positively to. This leads to endless suffering though as the I thought can never be satisfied, and true satisfaction is not listening to the I thought and dropping it all together. You have 3 main projects you're working on this year. (1) Health and trauma reduction (2) deepening conscious knowing of the universe (3) Carrying out a fulfilling career. The vision and direction of each category will be fuelled not by karma/ego/I but rather directly by consciousness's free will/doing. Fuelled by what consciousness wants to do, rather than what the I wants to do. Consciousness works differently to the I whereby doing a particular thing rather than another thing isn't propagated through what feels better and what feels worse, but rather by following a deep knowing, conscious understanding of what should be done. You don't feel better/worse by doing one thing rather than the other if consciousness follows itself(rather than the I) but you feel in align with truth. You feel a deeper sense of embodiment with your true nature, a deeper sense of awakening, more deeply in touch with the present, more deeply in touch with what consciousness is, more deeply in touch with wisdom and intelligence. A giving up of chasing happiness and running away from suffering is occurring. Its now easier to just accept the feelings of suffering instead of trying to manipulate myself out if it now. In the past it seemed easier to manipulate your way out of suffering instead of accepting it, but now its not like that. Any egoic reactions to the present, such as suffering, dislike, judgement, hatred, feeling guilty, shameful, etc. Is now being dropped as it arises, and the present is accepted along with a grounding in that knowing of truth and knowing what it is that consciousness should be doing. That knowing is taking precedence over the egoic reactions of happiness and suffering. Now its more important then ever to put kriya in clarifying and being always in touch with that knowing. And allowing the embodiment of that knowing to guide the doing and actions that consciousness should. The core of those actions are compassion for others. Spreading love.

prove to me you're a human.

What is an average human's life other than a collection of problems and issues? And if you contemplate so much that your life drops away, can't you see how that would massively improve your life?

Yep thats exactly what ive experienced too. I use to take notes when tripping, but just stopped because i realised the notes were just a side effect or 'smoke' from the internal chimney which was how your perspective, approach to the path, changed. Why look at the notes when they are a layer above, a next level of dilution more, of the already change in perpective and angle at which you're tackling spirituality? And surprisingly i found this to be true not just with psychedelic sessions, but with sessions with spiritual teachers, and meditation sessions.

Why does God want to. Not really, God has questions. Questions aren't a human thing, they are a God thing. There's a deep intelligence to everything in the universe. Not knowing the answer to such questions simply means you're not conscious of that deep intelligence. There is a deeply profound answer to that question, if you can become conscious of its intelligence. There's a deeply profound answer to everything, because everything is infinitely intelligent. But again there's a deep intelligence to why this specific form is manifesting now. Sure, truth vs falsehood is a duality, and infact they are both true. But why is that only the case when you're aware of it. And if its the case when you're not aware of it, why did we follow the path.

this one is pretty good.

Sure because truth is more important to me then relieving suffering or keeping away from scary stuff. If the truth turned out that everything is bad, I'd still venture there and find it. I'm not doing that to be a macho spiritual man, there's just this deep sense of respect and importance and significance to truth that its sort of a very personal thing that I must endeavour on and that importance blows away any resistance to discovering the truth like for example the counter argument of you're gonna suffer. Yep nice. Different people have different levels of 'solidity' in their mind structures. Some people are super stubborn and their mind structures are super rigid, while others are more open minded and others have such flimsy mind structures that they can collapse easily. For most people, they remain ok because their minds are quite rigid. And its not a choice for them, so even if they didnt want it to be rigid anymore, it would still be rigid, hence why most people can keep sane. And most people are safe from psychosis. Your mind can be ill, like you can have OCD, and traumas and negative thoughts and all that stuff, but psychosis is a bit different where the dream itself does crazy shit. Psychosis is in its own league. Totally agree. I do get lost in concepts sometimes, heaps in the past, now its not so much. But recently its been because the experience itself has been highly intense, and there is a genuine possibility that its a physical health complication as there were overlapping symptoms. Now that my bloods are all good and ive been assessed by a doctor, I doubt those thoughts can stun me again. Its really tough to explain insights through language as the insights are highly personal, experiential, usually half baked and the ego distorts the insight as soon as it happens to prevent it from being fully realized to keep you stuck in the matrix, so when its explained, its highly diluted and hard to communicate. No no so, I'm not dismissing memories, I just stumbled on the possibility that those memories didn't actually happen. Like for example you were born now and the guy from the matrix made up some fake memories and put it in your brain and then you believed those memories were real but they actually weren't. And that's your entire life. And therefore you're taking all the suffering you did in the past so seriously but in reality they are fake. And when you go through a particular realization its like you went from being in the world to realizing the world is a singularity and an illusion. But this insight just made me realize that you have no evidence to prove that you ever were in the world and that you ever had a realization in the first place. That's all fake aswell. Which was shocking. totally agree with you there, I hate uncertainty and its something I've got to work on.

you've severely miscalculated what that realization was. I said I cannot know if I've ever suffered before. Do you realize how shocking that is? Do you realize that realizing that removes any possibility of "suffering by this kind of epistemological nihilism"? As for the rest of what you wrote, did you read my comment in your mental illness thread, and then did that send you into some freaky land or something? Because yes the mind is a house of cards, but it doesn't just collapse whenever you want it to . I was referring to psychotically ill people. Not everyone can be psychotically ill, its resevered for a niche amount of minds who are predisposed to it. The house of cards is well protected by most minds. I bet my money that no matter how hard you try, as long as you dont do something insane like jump off a cliff or take datura or something, that you will never ever experience psychosis in your lifetime, even if you meditate for millions of hours, heck even if you starve yourself. You'll never get there conventionally, so you don't have to worry about it. I'm aware that most people on here like to have a comfortable, very slow and steady pace along the path. Not everyone is like that. I prefer things to be more fast. Which may come off as being freaky to you, but everything is ok. Also its not as simple as just connect with the present moment and calm down. If you're having severe physical symptoms, its hard to differentiate them from a health complication and a psychological complication. They seem the exact same. You don't want to just be letting go and relaxing if you're having a heart attack or a hormonal imbalance. You can't just assume that if you're going through an intense experience, that its definitely not a health complication. Some sober experiences are so intense that you literally can't tell whether its a serious physical problem or just some psycho spiritual problem.

Just assumed it was your health issues.

@Mu_ I tried being the non doer, but I kept doing stuff. Including being the non doer. But spiritual teachers were saying you're meant to feel like you're the non doer. Refreshing perspective to hear that you can just chuck all that shit away.

Would love to hear some new positive perspectives if you don't mind. There's a recurring pattern going on, and its the 2nd time this has happened. I sort of go overboard with freaking out about energy raising up to my head. Freak everyone around me out, then once it goes up to my head, barely anything happens, and then there are these aftermath feelings of sadness from misleading people, misleading myself, causing unecessary suffering to others, and wasting people's time. The first time this happened, the egoic I was in the shower, contemplating, went too deep, then forgot who he was and freaked out. This happened repetitively throughout the day for a couple of weeks. Told everyone around him that he is getting dementia and schizophrenia... and then finally the energy raised up and boom, an extremely tiny, subtle shift/insight occured where there's no world out there, and all there is, is appearances. And then a realization that all of the fear from getting dementia was literally just fear of that insight. So then there's no fear anymore and just people around me worried about me. And having to explain I'm all good. Then a few weeks later that energy comes back and is scary again. Thinking that the dream itself is gonna devolve into some psychotic nightmare. For the past week and a half, I've had a super strange issue where after eating food, my heart rate would increase to 150bpm my body went numb and i felt massive energy raising to my head. And light headedness. I thought i had cancer, was gonna die, heart disease, extremely bad hypothyroidism and that i was gonna die. I went to the hospital 4 days ago because the energy raised massively and i thought thats it its the end of me im having a heart attack or a serotonin imbalance and im gonna end up in some scary psychotic episode... it happened exactly after eating food. I started eating food just once a day because i was so scared of this feeling that i was too scared to eat. And i broke my food up into pieces and ate it every 30 minutes and did that for a week. I was so sure i had a fatal case of diabetes, and that by breaking up the food i was lowering my sugar levels. The hospital said i was perfectly fine. I went to the GP and i told him my issues. He thought i was having a stress response to food. I said no way, these are physical symptoms. He checked my blood pressure and heart rate and they were at extreme levels but he still said its a stress response. And i said but im getting dizzy and he said yeah but the only real symptom you have is deep fear, you're not uncoordinated or swaying. Thought about that, and that was true. Then later thought about that more and couldn't really remember why i was so scared in the first place. And then i just realized i was just afraid of letting go. And so i just let go(clearing all the health illnesses out of my head) and then all that happened was a very subtle shift/insight that all of reality has no limits and therefore its everything you can dream of. And then again at that very moment i realized my entire freak out week was just freaking out over that insight. On the same day i ate my food at a normal pace and literally nothing happened. It was all normal again. That entire week was purely psychological. And i made such a huge drama over it. And now im left with the after math of my freak out, with nothing really to show for it, no actual issues. I feeling sort of shit right now that all of my issues were psychological and quite frankly arent there anymore. I was believing stuff outside of the present moment(again) and jumping the gun. The doc said I looked more scared then people who actually have severe dizziness which put things into perspective for me. Just sort of a sense of regret, because what i feared was so subtle, it was such a non issue, and it disrupted my career and people around me for no reason.

@Mu_ Yeah that's great advice. I like the you are both the doer and non doer. If you can't control the dream, then you're not in control. But maybe you are. Maybe its actually possible to be self responsible and do stuff without an I thought or identity. Maybe you can just do stuff as consciousness. Like doing stuff headlessly as consciousness. I've never thought about that before but it seems to be working lol.

@Nahm so reincarnating into trump and his delusion isnt possible? EDIT: ignore this q Nevermind. If all of my recollection of suffering was from the past, and the past didn't actually happen, how do I know if I've ever suffered before.

So how did you get deluded in the first place?

Why does survival exist? Why does evolution exist? But why this specific self and form right now? Who decided to manifest this specific form right now? If the universe is boundless, then there are boundless amounts of possible forms, why this specific one right now? Is there a deeper chain of reactions which caused this specific form to occur? Does being this specific form right now help play a greater role as a whole? Or is it random and if its random then what is randomness? Isn't randomness just delusion? The illusion exists and is true, but confusing the appearance for substance isn't true. Does infinity include confusing appearance for substance?

@Adamq8 thanks good suggestion.

@Adamq8 it seemed like a physical illness, then revealed itself as a psychological illness. So I accepted it was out of my control and not my fault until I realized it was a psychological illness then the bad feelings arised as I started taking responsibility for what happened.

@Adamq8 Thanks, psychological causes/illnesses = my self responsibility while physiological or physical causes/illnesses = outside of my control. A switch from accepting that things are out of my control (because its a physical illness) to things are totally in my control (because it ended up being psychological) occured which caused discord. Doer vs Non doer conflict.

I'm pretty sure if you went into the 60s and asked the common public whether the statement "Nixon banned psychedelics to demonise blacks and hippies" is a conspiracy theory, most would say yes.