electroBeam

My sleep for the past 2 months have been massive pulses of energy dissolving 'me' into white light and also dreams of my dying (reincarnating into animals and being eaten by tigers and lions in the sahara) and also dreams of reincarnating into other people who did stuff they deeply regret and getting through it (like crashing their car into a pole and killing their mother) and its been affecting my sleep (keep waking up from them) so if it helps give clarity on that issue I'm willing to try it. The distinction between sleeping and being awake isn't really there, can't really tell the difference, but I'd like to try anyway. Just for me the usual standard methods wouldn't work.

you've convinced me, well done. if there's a lucid dreaming hotline on actualized.org by an old user whose also a painter then definitely

@seeking_brilliance this thread is making me feel like im in a lucid dream, so it worked!

What's with people's obsession with lucid dreaming? What's so good about it? Isn't the waking dream enough? Why lucid dream? Is it for spiritual work or for fun and if its for spiritual work how is it not a distraction?

Disclaimer Had an experience recently which has shown me that I know absolutely nothing about what's truly going on. The experience would sound outlandish, weird, scary, etc in written form to most users. This is stuff I don't see talked about on this forum much, and I know it may seem like mental masturbation, or its just an experience I had because I'm not as enlightened as you are, but I would deeply appreciate if you at least try to keep an open mind to the possibility that this is a massive, radical experience that is not just mental masturbation, and yeah I might not be as enlightened as you are, but just telling me your adviata beliefs doesn't help, I need help on pointers moving forward from where I'm at. The Experience/Context So became conscious the other day of the process of remembering and forgetting. I saw why forgetting you're one is important. Because forgetting you're one is necessary for creating finite. The cars, trees, houses, etc are all created through forgetting oneness. You can create anything you want, literally anything through forgetting, and you'll always arrive back at home due to suffering and love. Its truly amazing. And I'm not quite sure why forgetting is necessary at an epistemic/metaphysical level, but I'd definitely do it because I love creating realities. Creation is cool, its awesome! So forgetting is cool. Just don't get too lost like everyone else. And enlightened people are just people who remember and forget very rapidly. You can only observe 1 thought at a time, and likewise you can only forget or remember, you can't both forget or remember at the same time. So what happens is, if you're conscious that form = formlessness, if you look at your hand and see infinity, that's because you're forgetting and remembering very very quickly. 1 Millisecond you're forgetting and you're at the godhead, next millisecond you've forgotten the godhead and you're the hand, etc. Its fucken amazing. Well that's my experience anyway. And of course time isn't real, but reality changes still, it transitions still. Time = illusion doesn't mean things don't change obviously. You're still viewing 1 thought at a time even if time isn't there. Seeing the importance of forgetting, I decided to forget, but to forget consciously (instead of unconsciously like what I've been doing my entire life, or so I thought). I had to see my grandfather, and he's an amazing guy but sometimes its scary and I dread it because he's so negative and gets angry very easily. He talks about pessimistic politics and how horrible the human race is. But I'm like I'm just gonna get lost in the conversation and just enjoy the new universe of my pessimistic grandfather. But this time I thought I'd do it consciously. So what I did was, before getting lost, I had the brilliant idea of creating stuff to remind myself of who I am incase the conversation with my grandfather gets too out of hand. I felt into my body, and grew an energy that would be powerful enough to remind myself that the source is the answer. I also implanted some memories to remind myself to come back to the source. It worked amazingly, it was such an awesome experience, I was able to get lost in my grandfather's realm, enter his head, see things the way he sees things, conjure up lots of possibilities about the universe, got lost in it. Yet it was so cool, so fucking cool experiencing this, I got lost, totally forgot I was the source, yet I had a vague sense that the energy was important, because before seeing my grandad, I remembered (while lost) that the energy was important for some reason. Totally forgot why, I forgot the source completely, but I remembered the energy was sacred. I also had some memories that very vaguely reminded me of the source. And so I got a bit too lost, and I started feeling into that energy and then boom reminded myself of the source and I was back. And that was ridiculously cool, because you can get the best of both worlds, and just the mechanism of the whole dynamic of how that energy and memories was a vehicle back to the source... it was so cool to watch. But then... of course my curiosity got the better of me, and I started wondering who invented meditation techniques, yoga techniques, psychedelics, etc. And then the biggest mindfuck ever happened... I got a vague memory that I wanted to jump into the crazy life I'm in now, but I wanted to do it consciously, so what I did was I (vividly remember) created psychedelics, yoga techniques, meditation techniques, spiritual teachers like Leo, so that I would find my way out of the crazy dream.... And it was literally me who did that. Not the God version of me, not my higher self, it was literally me. I can't lay the responsibility on anyone else, because it was me who did that. It was just a taste, I couldn't feel everything that was going on, but I just remembered my entire life is a grandiose version of that mini experience with my grandad. And now I'm wondering, if I created meditation techniques, what else did I create? Why did I create it? Did I create my boss? And did I do it for a grand reason? What is this world really? What else have I forgotten that I did? OMG there's so much I could have done in this world that I've just forgotten. Now my life has shifted from what it was to total mindfuck. I'm just paralyzed by mind fuckery. I know nothing, really nothing, I've forgotten so much, and I don't know what's really going on here. And I'm trying to remember, but I can't seem to remember. And how much is there to remember? How much stuff have I done? What if it goes on forever? What if I've forgotten infinitely?????? So I thought I knew what God consciousness and infinite love was, but now I don't think so. Clarification Questions What is God consciousness? I feel like I am the present moment, but until recently, I didn't feel like I created all the finite stuff around me. I felt like everything was there due to infinity, that's why all the forms are there. But now I'm starting to wonder whether all the forms are there for more then just because of infinity, but because I had a very powerful reason to put them there, and I've just forgotten. What is infinite love? I have felt that the feeling of love = infinite connectedness. Its like when every cell of infinity connects with itself. Its when you're fully and utterly connected, but what does it mean by the universe is structured to maximize love? That's not in my experience, I feel like the universe is infinitely connected, but its not structured to be infinitely connected, it just IS connected by default. Does maximizing love tie in with the experience/memory I had?

Cool, so don't seek or start the spiritual path in the first place then.

Been there, done that, you're running round in circles.

your mum doesn't know anything either, is she awake?

?

You're selfish for trying to enlighten! You just sit there and focus on yourself, how shallow can you be!

you should try rape after doing a covid swab

@Fran11 nice description! '

I swear to god they weren't real when I was writing that reply

Yes. It doesn't feel that way to you(you're not actually seeing the meteor hitting you) because infinity also includes you being finite and not seeing the infinity. If you insist that infinity = I must see myself getting hit by a meteor in infinity dimensions, can't you see that that's you putting a limit on infinity? If infinity is truly infinite, then it must include the state you're in now, and it wouldn't be able to if you had it your way and said that infinity must be blablabla. yes it includes everything your finite brain can imagine, and way more. Infinity is a bad word, a much better word is undefined. The universe is literally undefined. It includes pink dolphins, real life spongebob, and even crazy things like Trump And that's just what your finite brain can imagine, what about all the stuff an advanced alien brain can imagine? Tesla could of imagined? God could have imagined?

@SoonHei there's a hell of a lot more then just knowing who you are Goodnight bro, have a good sleep.

The finite is created through forgetting yourself. When you read this message, to understand what I'm writing, you're forgetting yourself to allow this limited form to exist. You're getting lost in my words. Forgetting that you're infinite love. When you read my sentence, you forget about everything except the semantic meaning of this sentence. All that exists in this sentence realm is the meaning of this sentence. Where's the cars, houses, your brother, the universe, your mystical insights? Literally forgotten while you're getting lost in my words. You don't know anything but the sentence while reading this. And suffering is when you stay lost, forgetting yourself for too long. Without getting lost in this sentence, this sentence couldn't exist, and God couldn't be infinite. You're cycling between forgetting yourself, and remembering yourself, a trillion times a millisecond, to allow the creation of infinite forms. Form = formlessness is a shorthand for the process of cycling between forgetting and remembering. Its impossible to love something. You cannot love your brother, sister, mum, your video games, car, house, etc. When you say "I love this music" what you're really saying is "I remember that I'm infinitely connected to this music, every pixel of consciousness is infinitely connected to itself, in infinite dimension, in infinite ways, through infinite arrangements, during infinite amounts of time, in infinite directions". There is no such thing as loving someone. There is just an acknowledgement of what you are. If you contemplate "what does it mean to love someone" you'll discover it means to see what you are. To see that you're infinitely connected. There is a singularity going on right now between forgetting and remembering. The universe is literally made through forgetting and remembering. There's all of this form, yet its all infinite. OMG they coexist through an extremely fast episode of forgetting and remembering. Holy shit this is the engine of the universe. And its not limited to just being fast, Some people are enlightened, some people are very unenlightened, over lifetimes. This is a stretched out form of forgetting and remembering. And then there's oscillating between forgetting and remembering in a millisecond, like when you listen to great music, then forget the great music, or having awakenings, etc. Or when you're in a state where you can simultaneously see the form and formlessness in an object at once. The forgetting and remembering oscillates in an infinite arrangements of time. I've never read about this before, or heard a teacher talk about this before. This is the most shocking thing ever.

thanks for sharing, really enjoyed that, +1.

@SoonHei the mind/body will die along with the rememberance, you might as well quench your curiosity and see what happens. The greatest rewards in this work isn't being in a particular state, but seeing how reality works regardless of the state you're in.

@SoonHei i get what you're saying, but im going meta on that stuff. For example go take salvia and see if you're still rooted in that rememberance as a can of soup. You start of unrooted in this journey then get rooted. Sure you can say time is an illusion and you were always enlightened, but there was a time of forgetting. How does that process work itself? You'll notice that as you went through your spititual journey, the oscillations between forgetting and remembering sped up. You can measure how enlightened someone is through the speed of those oscillations(not saying time is real). There are states where its pure white and forgetting everything(godhead) and states of complete forgetting(normal people) and states where you function in society but still feel the rootedness. This is because forgetting and remembering is oscillating a trillion times a millisecond.

I agree but what i have seen is you can stay rooted in yourself by forgetting and remembering very rapidly. Sobersss, psychedelics dont like me.

@Shmurda I get what you're saying, and your post is a topic the re-occurs periodically on this forum. And the poster usually ends up seeing how their position wasn't quite true and they move on. Im not superior, i did it here(not saying our posts are the same, but we share common messages). And plenty of other posters did it. And plenty will do it in the future. I think having this awareness is helpful on its own. Yeah you've got a good message, stop mental masturbation and get on with the work, but the forum owners and mods already know this message, and have put stuff in place to support this message, and we've ended up with the best possible scenario. This forum is quite old now, and the themes that pop up now have been popping up since this forum's birth. Having others dissect your words can be deeply irritating especially if the dissector at hand is an idiot. Because it can seem like they just miss your message, or arent interested in listening to you, but rather are just interested in projecting their views. Again, i get that. But really how can it be any other way? The spiritual path is really about ripping the floor from under you. In a jnana context, its about you having assumptions about the world and questioning them. We all have different perspectives on here, and the best spiritual guidance you could get is people trying to rip the floor from under you. Theres no point egging on your assumptions, or going along with you with your assumptions. That wont grow you, what will is us questioning your deeply held assumptions that you project in your OP. And you'll notice that the most helpful people on here question your assumptions, they dont egg them on or go along with you. And having the idiots not understand you or try to tell you that you're wrong is just a rough edge in this highly effective approach to growing you. And really its an opportunity to test your capacity to love your little idiot selves a growing opportunity. So in a twisted way, yes i agree that you've got a good message, but this forum is already perfect at the same time which ties beautifully with the whole "Everything is already perfect" mantra.

Infinity includes us being separate, along with everything else as one singularity. Therefore we are one

There's no such thing as deception. Everything is absolutely True and Real, including non duality and duality. There's no such thing as Truth, because everything is True. False is just as True as True is. Infinity includes "reality is a dream and I don't exist". It also includes "reality is real and I do exist" and it includes everything in between. It doesn't need to assert its existence because it exists by default and no assertion makes anything exist.

Yes. Everything exists. There's no such thing as non existence.

@VeganAwake snort a kilo of 5-MEO-DMT up your nose and write to me that then ill believe you.