electroBeam

@Vaishnavi Depends on which girls you talk into, some(or a lot) of them love the sound of a rich guy but will look into that. But how do you be interesting, apart from being humorous? What makes someone interesting? Is it their expression? Is it they way people exaggerate? Using emotional language? I would love some techniques in this area. @agnosis omg IT guy that hates sports and into philosophy? I'm a computer science student who hates sport and loves philosophy you sound like me

I'm a little bit doubtful of whether being aware empirically about scientific theories and models being fictitious is useful and beneficial. I'm Sure being aware empirically about how gravity is just a model, and that its just a fictitious story that when mixed with other fictitious stories (constructs like measurements, other formulas) in a way that adheres to separate, fictitious rules, can produce new and interesting fictitious stories(like a concept about the amount of newtons required to launch a rocket into space) which through some unexplained(and something I'm frustratingly currently unaware of/unconscious of) epistemological magic can make colours in 'our' awareness change in a way that looks like a rocket launching into space, would be an awesome, and profound life changing experience/ perspective to have, but does it really matter if we have this perspective or not? Does it really practically change our lives for the better? Like sure, realizing contradictions dont exist, or that there is nothing wrong with having a contradiction, because its not real sure is interesting, but how does that help our personal development? I mean our objective here is to obtain happiness, which is done through shuffling symbols around(making a plan I mean) that, by what other unquestioned symbols tell us, should allow us accomplish our goals, and get a piece of happiness. How will going into the present moment, a realizing that the symbols we used werent actually real, help us? I'm even starting to wonder, what is the main problem with being religious? and having dogmatic religious beliefs? I just dont know anymore lol. Like we can still work on our attractiveness to the opposite sex, or work on our career or life purpose, while having very dogmatic, religious beliefs. This isnt a 'why leave the park' argument. I am totally fine with people wanting to get to spiritual enlightenment by meditation because they 'believe' it will give them happiness or unconditional love, which I chose not to do because I am more focused on other things, but how does the realization that formulas and gravity arent in any form or shape real help us get confident, or develop emotional mastery? How does believing in god impede someone? Both individuals can pursue personal development either way. Why is dogmatism such a problem? Apart from because it causes conflicts, you can get past that by working on your social skills, and keep your dogmatism. I'm a little confused at the moment.

Seriously, can someone ban this Sofiasspecial account? This radical feminist's views offend me.

I know Chives, but everytime I talk to someone I'm interested in, the conversation always feels clunky because I am unsure of what the person is interested in, or I'm not entirely sure if my joke will come off as offensive, etc, or I don't know if what I am about to say is cheesy, lame, etc. I dont really connect well. @Harry good advice, I have both books, winning friends and influencing people, and the six pillars of self esteem, I try and do sentence stems every morning, dont know how effective they are though.

You shouldn't take the snide comments to heart. Comments like "It's sad when a 23 year old man makes an 18 year old girl cry for no reason" are contrived to affect you emotionally. 18 is an adult. 23 is and adult. She might be young OP but she isnt 14, shes 18, a full grown, supposedly mature adult

@Truth As your approach for structure always changes, how do you determine when you are going to change your current approach, and how do you measure or decide upon an approaches' effectiveness, and compare different approaches to determine which approach is the best? Also have you ever gotten bored of your vision? What have you done in that situation to motivate you or even to change your goal? That's a very cool goal setting system you have made, good work for creating it!

@Sofiasspecial Judging by what you have wrote, you have an even more narrower view about the subject that what Leo ever could. What is wrong with being conservative? This isn't a political website. The problem here is, Leo is expressing his viewpoints from a very objective angle, and wont sacrifice objectivity for political correctness. His videos are not for individuals who cannot bear the truth. Your words speak feminazi, the problem here isn't Leo... but you

I used a lot of videos and smudged them into 1. Here are some videos you will enjoy: Leo's motivation video Brendon's program mind video Brendon's discipline video Brendon's focus video Kelly McGonigal's will power vid and I used some books too, but I can't send you the link on here for legal reasons

You could make the analogy of how bad would it be to be an athiest in the dark ages? Knowing that god doesn't exist? If you keep it to yourself and pretend to be religious you will be normal

Hi Ajax, I have been struggling with this too. May I suggest that measuring abstract, and qualitative skills like analytical thinking may require a perspective shift. Instead of trying to achieve a certain state or position(as you would with weight loss: get to weight X), work on improving your actual techniques and methods you use to increase your skill in a particular area(in this case analytical thinking). In a nutshell, make your goal a DIRECTION, and not a POSITION or mental/physical STATE, similar to what @Truth was referring to, which is a good idea in my opinion. When you say analytical skills, I'm guessing you mean how good your logical reasoning skills are. Now you could measure it in a very rational, university style way. But if you look at how universities measure their grads in their analytical skills, you realize real quick that the outcomes/goals they choose are very relative to unquestioned premises the head teacher has made, and also the ratings of each outcome point is subjective(and relative to the individual's knowledge and awareness). So I am suggesting that trying to measure your goals rationally is not objective, and therefore I am suggesting that you measure your progress a-rationally, and through objective analysis of your feelings and experience. It is hard to describe the steps linguistically and rationally, but you can very self honestly 'feel' how much more awareness you have developed in being very logical and analytical. You could remember dealing with a decision a week ago, for example choosing to go to a party or not, and then pretend to make that decision again, and compare how much more 'aware' you are of logical reasoning, and how much more exposed and fluent you are with other reasons, and how much more firmly you feel in making a decision, or how much more satisfied with it you are. I have been measuring mental states qualitatively and it seems to work. The thing is, you may be afraid that you are not improving in being analytical, because it doesn't seem like it rationally, and you may use reasons like I'm not getting quicker in logical reasoning, or I didn't choose the right decision, but you have to remember that any rational reason you come up with is relative to some unquestioned premise you are not acknowledging. The best way to measure progress I found is to use your feelings or awareness very objectively, constantly question those feelings, but also question the questions that you come up with. Hope this helps.

I'm on 2 and trying to reach 3

@DizIzMikey out of curiosity, are you experiencing this sort of worldview

So if I get an experience where I realize rationality is a fiction, What will be the immediate side effects? What will I be able to do, that people stuck in rational beliefs cannot? I tried using an analogy of what can people with rational beliefs(stuck in orange and green stage) do that religious people(blue and purple stage) cannot do. Now sure, you could argue and say that rational people can put a man on the moon, but then again, putting a man on the moon is only amazing to us because our dogmatic beliefs tell it is(our beliefs like our ego, social status, and all other things made up). You could say that rationality allows us to understand the universe better, but does it really? Or does it allow us to just make up more fictitious models? That are only useful when you are trying to bend a certain social construct/construct/fiction to your will. All I see rationality doing is pursuing illusion, using illusion. So if I was religious, why would I try and become rational? Same applies with being a rational, why would I try and break out of my rationality? Why do you believe it is good to break out of rationality? @Jimmylem thankyou for the response.

Fortunately, Leo has a whole video on this. I can summarize his points here: 1st step, figure out why at that point in time you have a lack of motivation. Is because you are too tired? Is it because your study bores the death out of you? What is the reason. 2nd step, depending on your situation, you can try and apply necessary techniques to your scenario. If you lack motivation because your studies bore the hell out of you, as it did with me, you really need to develop a very strong, motivational vision about the goal you are trying to achieve. You need to feel this vision, spiritually and emotionally. A vision strong enough has to fill you with motivation, so strong you can study without loosing focus. Then everyday connect with this vision. If you do already have a lot of motivation, you can try any of these techniques: - imagine yourself in your mind(somehow) enjoying your studies. You can imagine yourself getting a question right and feeling very proud, or imagine yourself finding the content interesting, or imagine yourself answering the questions very easily, and being proud from that. Then put A LOT of focus and feeling in this vision, and keep playing this vision in your head for a while until you are really motivated and ready to study again. Every time a negative thought comes into your head, QUICKLY switch to a thought, motivational, emotional spiritual thought about how much you love your studies. - You can use the Sedona method to release thoughts. But the technique I personally find really effective is to become aware of the negative emotions you are feeling, and just feel into it. DONT REACT to the feeling, dont think about the feeling, but just feel and observe the feeling, ask yourself, what does it feel like? Where is the feeling? How long does the feeling happen? Does the feeling have a shape? etc. Eventually it will go away. You can also use the wave method by Kelly Mcgonigal, where when a negative emotion appears, pretend the negative emotion is a wave, and pretend that you are surfing it, and when the negative feeling goes down, you are slowly riding down with the emotion, when the emotion is at full force, you are peacefully surfing it, remaining calm and peaceful. A TIP: a lot of psychological research has shown that browsing the internet, and making a lot of choices in the day(like texting) depletes your will power. Try not to do this during the day if you can manage. studies have shown that your willpower increases from meditation. Try and do this every day. Hope at least 1 of these techniques help.

what is a good layout or structure you can use to set a flexible plan? What happens when your steps you have implemented dont actually achieve the goal you wanted? How do you go about changing your plan after you realize it doesnt work? So I have a goal, and a set of steps on how im going to make that goal happen, but after a while, sometimes the goal I have set for myself doesnt actually happen, and I need to change my steps. Unfortunately I do not know how I should change my steps, or what steps to change it to. Also the format of my plan is very rigid, and changing it is a pain. for example lets say your goal is to be more confident around girls. Lets say the steps you have chosen to achieve this is to do some visualizations in the morning, go try out techniques you read in a PUA book, etc. After a month, you realize that the visualizations and PUA techniques havent made you any more confident. What should you do? How do you figure out why it hasnt made you confident? How do you why visualizations havent helped you achieve the goal you made, even if you applied it exactly how the self help material told you to? What do you do next to determine what different step you should take to make the plan better? But even before that, how do you make a plan(or goal) that takes into account that your steps may not work? How do you add improvisation into your plan? What layout allows you to do this. Recently I watched Leos video on strategy and wondered how improvisation can be implemented into a plan. I only know how to add concrete steps int my plan.

thanks guys, very valuable advice.

The Barnum effect tricks us once again.

I have a spreadsheet, with all of the self actualization goals I have in life, and procedure of how to accomplish them, which Microsoft excel has been set up to make a gantt chart of the procedure. I developed this system because I felt like a tumbleweed, stumbling lost through life, wasting it away. Though now that I have a very specific set of goals and things to do, its very easy for me to see how many things I haven't accomplished, in the event that I procrastinate, or get tied up with something. For a few weeks now I have been feeling very guilty, and kind of ashamed at myself for not accomplishing the things I have wanted to. I'm very aware that my life can end anytime, and will end eventually, and get really disheartened when I fail to accomplish what I have set out. I am very ambitious, and this doesn't help. For example: 1. I set out to accomplish at least learning about relationships, and putting myself out there for a girl I liked, which due to procrastination, failure to develop confidence in time, and me not being as efficient as I can be, I didn't accomplish it on the deadline 2. I meant to teach myself c++(programming a computer) before my degree in uni(for programming a computer) starts, to give myself a head start and better grades. 3. getting a part time job. ... and many more things. I have only meditated 4x this week instead of 7 as well. I feel really bad for not accomplishing these things, and I can just see that I am pissing my life away from all of the procrastination I am doing. These tasks aren't hard either, I feel as though if I cant achieve these things, I'm going to have a very bleak future. The guilt I feel though, is turning me pessimistic, and is really unmotivating me, and I can see that this is a contributing factor to the problem I am suffering from in the first place. How do I overcome the guilt I have developed? Thankyou,

Ohhh, you were trying to reflect on the state an ego should be at that would help contribute to enlightenment. I kind of get it, kind of is all I need.

@Truth Sure, but you have to admit, you were doing the same thing at the start, and then I followed. What I got from your reply was emotional support is not needed, and my knowledge field cannot compute that. I was hoping you were going to write something that I have not considered, or that would change my knowledge graph. Something about enlightenment I didn't know.

"again, assuming that I'm not aware of what I'm saying" I never said you didn't know what you were saying, you are assuming I don't know that you don't know what you are saying. I was simply pointing it out to you, and everyone who reads my comment, because it contradicts your entire message. You may be aware of it, but its still a point I can raise. "maybe giving OP a little insight and traction to stay on this track and take responsibility to do the work." That's a little far fetched, but besides, I find it hypocritical that your entire post is about not listening to anyone, because people trying to persuade you have their own 'agendas', and yet, you just revealed that you also are trying to persuade the op to do enlightenment. The quote above proves it. "and it seems your agenda is to explain away everything I said" Kind of, I simply like having a community who are on an enlightenment path, and who are willing to help each other achieve that. I'm against people trying to stop that; or who are persuading people to reduce it, and simply react accordingly. To help grow this community, we need to convince people to do enlightenment, if not(like what you are suggesting) this community will not grow and flourish, and will keep to low numbers. "it's counter productive in the sense that talking and theorizing and creating story's and yapping does not make you become enlightened it might help yes, but it won't be permanent." yes I totally agree with you. Of course I do. But there are also a lot of people who don't talk about enlightenment, our mums, dads, school friends, (assuming here of course), co-workers, whatever, and they are no closer to,(actually further away from) enlightenment than us. But like what Leo's video said, we need some sort of technique to motivate us. I, and everyone else, is not going to sit and meditate just for the hell of it. We need some sort of fantasy of what the end result will be. "People who take responsibility for this don't need emotional support, they take whatever information they have and work with it." I just don't know how you can think anyone is like that. Who the hell is born with so much emotional mastery that they can fight their negative thoughts, and have the discipline to sit and meditate for 30 minutes a day, without the slightest fantasy of what it can achieve? Without the slightest idea of the end result, the reward? Without knowing if this hard effort is going to get any reward in the first place? Emotional support has helped me a lot, I don't see how I am a façade though. Taking on this journey is gonna need more than just motivation and some enlightenment experiences. Like what? what else keeps us going except motivation? Some sort of divine ring? Of course, I see myself as helping the OP, because I am trying to convince him to do enlightenment, you disagree, but even you will agree that you aren't really helping the op, you are critiquing the people in this forum, not really persuading the op to do enlightenment.

@kkk People wont convince themselves either. Free will doesn't exist, you need someone to convince you, to 'trigger' you as Leo says. Buddhist monks don't become enlightened on their own, they become enlightened because the environment around them encourages them to, the people around them are enlightened, the people around them encourage them to meditate. You are not some spirit, the self(not Self) is a product of its environment. Your reply is implying free will, and a unique spirit.

"talking and being convinced by others doesn't make you become enlightened." yes it does... if someone convinces you that enlightenment is good, you will be motivated to meditate and be enlightened. "The only thing anyone is really doing when they tell you something about enlightenment is pointing you to this "blind spot" that's all anyone is doing" if the fiction has an effect on you that motivates you, then the fiction is a good thing. If no one gives you that fiction A you will make up a fiction that doesn't motivate you B you will not make up a fiction and again not be motivated. "people can explain away anything you think and conceptualize and they will, why? because it's exactly what we are trying not to do, people have their own agendas and trying to convince themselves of things." Who here is trying to convince themselves of things about their enlightenment experience? They are simply explaining their experience. What is wrong with having an agenda, apart from because it feels bad, or feels wrong? Two completely subjective social constructions? Prove having an agenda is always a "bad thing". you also have an agenda on here, by posting this reply in the first place. You want the OP to be convinced of your opinions, just like everyone else on here. People in this world are not going to become enlightened simply through their own accord. Free will doesn't exist, if they are not exposed to this stuff, if they are not convinced by people, their egos' are not going to allow them to become enlightened. They simply will not have the will and determination to achieve this journey. Emotional support through means such as this forum is a necessity for 90% of people. Saying that this is a lone wolf act, and that this forum is "counter productive" is simply counter productive itself.

@7thLetter I cant really advise you, I can only warn you of the dangers you will encounter if you do not get a proper education. I have looked at many case studies and seen what a lack of education can do to people. It highly depends on what you want to do with your life, but just remember everyone these days has a degree, you don't want to be behind the bell curve. The problem I see is that things are going to get harder for you as time goes on. The older you are, the less employable you are, the less your memory works properly, you may have a family you have to care for. You simply wont have the resources necessary to start your life purpose, and you will be competing with people who started working 5-10+ years ago, that's a lot of experience and competition. I know you may not think this is worth considering, but the biggest problem with learning everything yourself is that you can slack off. You may be really mature and disciplined, but not having your learning held responsible for you like in school, you run a great risk of not doing the work on time or in the best way. + don't get me started on the lack of experience in networking and talking to people/negotiating deals that you do get at institutions. The best way, like everything, is to keep everything in moderation. do both moderately. I simply cannot see not going to school as a good idea Also shouldn't you be watching Leo's video? If you don't want to go to school, then don't, but make sure you make up for it somehow.

@7thLetter You can forget about school, and just work on personal development material all you want, but you will eventually come to a stage where you realize having a fairly good income early in life, and starting your life purpose in your teens, will really accelerate your self actualization work. You may not realize, but starting uni after your teens becomes incredibly hard, especially in a technical field. If you don't start uni early, there goes the biggest opportunity in your life to ever work with your life purpose and/or to ever get the money needed to accelerate your actualization work. Money to go to the gym, eat healthily, create value to the world, and other stuff. + as you have pointed out, the work ethic you develop early on in your career. I didn't read your reply to Saitama, its rude to read someone else's conversations, + it doesn't involve me and is very personal to you 2. I'm sorry but I cant just sit here and watch someone advise us that not going to school is a good option. That is a terrible idea, school is just as important as self help material. Technical skills are just as important as social and emotional mastery. Your taking a risk by choosing the latter over the former, by becoming a monk, and that is, if you ever loose motivation and don't get to enlightenment, you have just ruined your life