electroBeam

@Mal Absorbing and taking the whole thing in may be counter productive, of course I don't believe any principles or propositions made by the PUA community, but their techniques are very useful.

Yeah a lot of guys become myopic, and just soley focus on the WHAT rather than the WHY. But I think that experiencing life and not worrying about the consequences is a MUCH better option, then not experiencing life, so that you don't get any consequences at all. Yes people are zombies now, but how can you blame them? As Alan Watts said, for you to improve, you need to improve youself, so someone who lacks the improvement you desire is tasked with improving that part of you. How can you improve? This is why sometimes I treat Leo as gospell, because I believe someone with more wisdom then me would have a better idea at knowing what is best for me, then I do. For me personally, the only reason why I'm pursuing Pickup is because I don't want to be left behind in the sex game, and also because Leo basically told us in one of his videos for college students to pursue sexual endeavours, other than that I hate picking up chicks in the club, clubs are sleezy, unheigenic, alcohol lowers your awareness, your sleeping pattern gets screwed over. And then you have the issues of dealing with guys who get angry because they chick your after hes also after. For something people do every week, its not that enjoyable. But because I trust Leo's insights, I will continue to go clubbing purely for self improvement.

I'm pretty much in the same position as you are And in my opinion, you should DEFINITELY do pickup. There are going to be times in life where you will HAVE TO do things that you DON'T want to endure and do, along with working long hours, solving family issues, pickup will be another one of those things. Yes its going to be emotionally challenging, but at the end of the day, there will be a time in your life where you will die, and on your death bed you aren't going to be regretting all of the horrible embarresment you endured picking up chicks, the times a girl said "fuck off!" to you at a club, the time you completely made a fool of yourself in bed. You will be regretting the fact that you didn't try to sleep with anyone at all. So stop worrying about how much you don't want to do pick up, and like a snow plower, plow through those negative experiences and DO PICKUP

Yes Sometimes 'talking shit' about people can decrease or lower their reputation, and therefore virtually increasing yours.

So I've started meditating(been doing it for 3 days), I'm just curious about how you guys are measuring your progress. How do you guys know if your technique is a 'high yield' technique? Or if its ineffective? And I also wanted to ask, how much improvement have you guys made since meditating? How long have you been meditating and what sort of interesting or helpful stuff are you guys noticing/ experiencing from meditation?

for me, I would probably run around naked if it wasn't illegal. In other words, have very little care about clothing

Here is an article about, how following your passion is not the only consideration for finding your 'dream job'. Studies have shown that your interests and passions change remarkably over time, and following your passion now might encourage you to miss great opportunities for getting a successful job that you love. Do you agree? do your passions change over time? And if so, how can we find our life purpose, if our interests are unreliable?

"I have to be persistent in spiritual enlightenment"? who has to be persistent in spiritual enlightenment? Its weird realizing that you are not the human you think you are But its even weirder and stranger thinking that you would be a human at all. Like why a human? Why not a bat, a rock, a ball, or a coffee table?

Yeah the thing I don't get about that video is, how can one be passionate about any job? How can you just 'bring' your passion with you anywhere? Mike talked about how he initially wanted to be a plumber. If you can be passionate about anything, could Mike mike have just figured out a way to love being a plumber? And also Mike says follow opportunities, not passion, but isn't Mike's biography a contradiction to that advice? I mean not only did he not become a plumber, which was in high demand at that time, as it is now, but he also decided to make is own documentary series, which is in quite short demand. He also talks about a psychiatrist who quit his job to be a septic tank cleaner, because he wasn't passionate about being a psychiatrist anymore. But us humans have the ability to be passionate about anything, couldn't that specific individual just be happy being a psychiatrist, and learn to love it?

Hi, I'm a 19 year old individual who has been dealing with shyness and social anxiety for as long as i can remember, and have been trying to deal with it for about 6 years now, and have had no real success. I am naturally an awkward person, who have views and opinions that are not normal, an this tends reduce my ability to hold rapport/a connection with other people easily. I have been bullied in the past; involving being embarrassed, excluded, excessively teased, physically assaulted, and other things which unfortunately affect my thinking patterns today. While I haven't noticed this before, my fear that the past will become a reality again(my negative experiences) are holding me back from self actualizing, and solving this problem in the first place. I wish to freely and confidently speak and socialize to other people without thinking the following: - I'm really nerdy, they aren't going to like me, why am I even talking to them - Oh no, his/her facial expressions just changed to a frown, does that mean he is judging me? Or thinking that I am weird - Oh no she isn't smiling anymore, is she finding me boring? - I don't know what to say to this person, no I can't talk about what I find interesting, I'm nerdy, he/she is going to judge me for it, then I will be embarrassed, I hate embarrassment, I remember it from high school, I can't go back to that. - Oh no I can't say that, that will make the convo awkward - Oh wow I'm being so boring because I don't know what to say. - Oh no don't say anything stupid! Remember what happened last time you did that? you got kicked out of your friends group, and had no one to talk to at lunch times I hate socializing. Its a very painful experience for me, and has been for at least since I was in primary school. I have had some good experiences with 1 or 2 close friends, but really I don't find it fun, because of how badly I judge myself and psychoanalyze the other person I am talking to. I do push myself(and have been for a while) to go out there and talk to others, but my mind is paralyzed with all of the negativity that it makes up on the spot. I can't seem to shake this. How do I break out of this? When you go up to talk to someone, and you can't think of anything funny to say, or the conversation becomes awkward, or you screw up some how, how do you train yourself to not beat up yourself, and decrease you self esteem to the point that you find it even harder to get out and socialize the second time? What are some ways to become confident? I have tried sentence stems, visualizations, but no luck on anything else. What are some ways to actually become more interesting? Thankyou

@Mal Thankyou Mal for the good advice, I kind of know what you are talking about because I've been practicing neti neti for 1 hour per day for the last 3 weeks or so. Even though I have an intuitive sense that trying to seek approval is building up a complete fiction in my mind, that doesn't stop my ego from causing negative emotions lol! So I urgently need a way to control it/distance myself from the feelings. I have dreams of becoming successful in my business, and I know that people skills are required for it, so it would be beneficial to have techniques to improve those. That's really what my questions are aiming at, gaining those. Sure 'I'(or maybe more accurately, pain occurs in experience) feel a lot of pain talking to people, bloody ego is broken! But the concern is more to do with the anxiety preventing myself being able to communicate effectively and grow EQ to start a business. I strongly appreciate your advice, and will continue to look at your posts to direct me, but I am autistic, I need to find a way to develop people skills, and unfortunately meditation cannot give that to me

@Mal I've watch 3/4 of his videos. This might come as a suprise to you, but with all due respect, Leo isnt the god of the universe, with advice that works with everyone. If I apply exactly what Leo tells us to do, and be authentic, and not care what others think because they are 'figments of peoples'' imagination(which arguments don't help the irrational mind anyway), I will be ostracised in the same way I was in the past.... that doesn't help. In fact for the last 6 months I have been following that exact advice, and using visualizations to support me, and what is the result of me being authentic and sticking up for myself? Being kicked out of 2 clubs, because the certain individuals didn't like my opinion. This actually cut off opportunites to socialize with other people I've read 'how to win friends and influence people' and apply those techniques every day, and suddely after watching Leo's video back in august 2 years ago, I find out that his approach to life is nearly the opposite to what is in that book. Let me know how you go when you have a boss that's an ass, but your going to be authentic because Leo told you to and get fired because the boss doesn't welcome other opinions...

You need to be a generalist with a sprinkle of specialist. mainly focus on 'one area' that you particularly like, but also be PROFICIENT or slightly less in other related areas(or unrelated like personal development). Like what Leo said, its both. I don't think you can be a master at everything, but at the same time, being a master of one, and not knowing anything else will put you at an extreme disadvantage. I'm not even sure what being a 'master' of something really is. It seems like a loose subjective social construct that changes its definition depending on the times we live in, so to even assume that it is only possible to master 1 thing is shaky in itself.

Whenever I meditate, especially doing self inquiry, I experience EXTREME frustration. Not a little frustration, I mean to the point where sometimes I need to stop meditating because the frustration is so intense, that I cannot concentrate any-more. A good example is Leo's latest video. When trying to find 'me' or kind of trying to examine the self, the act of even looking brings a lot of frustration. For me personally, this is because the self disappears as soon as you look(its like a troll that teases you, and runs away as soon as you start to chase it). Its like the pot at the end of the rainbow, you just cant get to it. This makes me highly frustrated, and this is a big issue because it really distracts me from concentrating. I had to pause the video multiple times to just give myself time to relax. If I'm frustrated, I cannot possibly look or seek for the higher self, its like trying to find a crashed boat in a wavy sea. Are there any ways to overcome this? Anything I can tell myself to calm myself down? Or maybe any activity I can do to stop this annoying behaviour? Thankyou!

So as the title states, I'm extremely boring especially when talking to women. When on a date, I tend to not know what to say, and have trouble trying to figure out what catches her attention. I struggle with using emotional language, and often talk very logically. My life isnt very fun either, and often when I go out to social events its usually just out to boring stuff like the movies, no real opportunity for generating a great story to tell. What cool techniques are there to help develop your creativity and intrigue factor? What sort of stuff do women find interesting? When talking to women, what stuff tends to catch their attention on a date? When you notice that a women is getting bored, what should you do? Pretend to fall over to catch her attention? Panic? Tell her you have lots of money? Thanks guys

@Vaishnavi Depends on which girls you talk into, some(or a lot) of them love the sound of a rich guy but will look into that. But how do you be interesting, apart from being humorous? What makes someone interesting? Is it their expression? Is it they way people exaggerate? Using emotional language? I would love some techniques in this area. @agnosis omg IT guy that hates sports and into philosophy? I'm a computer science student who hates sport and loves philosophy you sound like me

I'm a little bit doubtful of whether being aware empirically about scientific theories and models being fictitious is useful and beneficial. I'm Sure being aware empirically about how gravity is just a model, and that its just a fictitious story that when mixed with other fictitious stories (constructs like measurements, other formulas) in a way that adheres to separate, fictitious rules, can produce new and interesting fictitious stories(like a concept about the amount of newtons required to launch a rocket into space) which through some unexplained(and something I'm frustratingly currently unaware of/unconscious of) epistemological magic can make colours in 'our' awareness change in a way that looks like a rocket launching into space, would be an awesome, and profound life changing experience/ perspective to have, but does it really matter if we have this perspective or not? Does it really practically change our lives for the better? Like sure, realizing contradictions dont exist, or that there is nothing wrong with having a contradiction, because its not real sure is interesting, but how does that help our personal development? I mean our objective here is to obtain happiness, which is done through shuffling symbols around(making a plan I mean) that, by what other unquestioned symbols tell us, should allow us accomplish our goals, and get a piece of happiness. How will going into the present moment, a realizing that the symbols we used werent actually real, help us? I'm even starting to wonder, what is the main problem with being religious? and having dogmatic religious beliefs? I just dont know anymore lol. Like we can still work on our attractiveness to the opposite sex, or work on our career or life purpose, while having very dogmatic, religious beliefs. This isnt a 'why leave the park' argument. I am totally fine with people wanting to get to spiritual enlightenment by meditation because they 'believe' it will give them happiness or unconditional love, which I chose not to do because I am more focused on other things, but how does the realization that formulas and gravity arent in any form or shape real help us get confident, or develop emotional mastery? How does believing in god impede someone? Both individuals can pursue personal development either way. Why is dogmatism such a problem? Apart from because it causes conflicts, you can get past that by working on your social skills, and keep your dogmatism. I'm a little confused at the moment.

Seriously, can someone ban this Sofiasspecial account? This radical feminist's views offend me.

I know Chives, but everytime I talk to someone I'm interested in, the conversation always feels clunky because I am unsure of what the person is interested in, or I'm not entirely sure if my joke will come off as offensive, etc, or I don't know if what I am about to say is cheesy, lame, etc. I dont really connect well. @Harry good advice, I have both books, winning friends and influencing people, and the six pillars of self esteem, I try and do sentence stems every morning, dont know how effective they are though.

You shouldn't take the snide comments to heart. Comments like "It's sad when a 23 year old man makes an 18 year old girl cry for no reason" are contrived to affect you emotionally. 18 is an adult. 23 is and adult. She might be young OP but she isnt 14, shes 18, a full grown, supposedly mature adult

@Truth As your approach for structure always changes, how do you determine when you are going to change your current approach, and how do you measure or decide upon an approaches' effectiveness, and compare different approaches to determine which approach is the best? Also have you ever gotten bored of your vision? What have you done in that situation to motivate you or even to change your goal? That's a very cool goal setting system you have made, good work for creating it!

@Sofiasspecial Judging by what you have wrote, you have an even more narrower view about the subject that what Leo ever could. What is wrong with being conservative? This isn't a political website. The problem here is, Leo is expressing his viewpoints from a very objective angle, and wont sacrifice objectivity for political correctness. His videos are not for individuals who cannot bear the truth. Your words speak feminazi, the problem here isn't Leo... but you

I used a lot of videos and smudged them into 1. Here are some videos you will enjoy: Leo's motivation video Brendon's program mind video Brendon's discipline video Brendon's focus video Kelly McGonigal's will power vid and I used some books too, but I can't send you the link on here for legal reasons

You could make the analogy of how bad would it be to be an athiest in the dark ages? Knowing that god doesn't exist? If you keep it to yourself and pretend to be religious you will be normal

Hi Ajax, I have been struggling with this too. May I suggest that measuring abstract, and qualitative skills like analytical thinking may require a perspective shift. Instead of trying to achieve a certain state or position(as you would with weight loss: get to weight X), work on improving your actual techniques and methods you use to increase your skill in a particular area(in this case analytical thinking). In a nutshell, make your goal a DIRECTION, and not a POSITION or mental/physical STATE, similar to what @Truth was referring to, which is a good idea in my opinion. When you say analytical skills, I'm guessing you mean how good your logical reasoning skills are. Now you could measure it in a very rational, university style way. But if you look at how universities measure their grads in their analytical skills, you realize real quick that the outcomes/goals they choose are very relative to unquestioned premises the head teacher has made, and also the ratings of each outcome point is subjective(and relative to the individual's knowledge and awareness). So I am suggesting that trying to measure your goals rationally is not objective, and therefore I am suggesting that you measure your progress a-rationally, and through objective analysis of your feelings and experience. It is hard to describe the steps linguistically and rationally, but you can very self honestly 'feel' how much more awareness you have developed in being very logical and analytical. You could remember dealing with a decision a week ago, for example choosing to go to a party or not, and then pretend to make that decision again, and compare how much more 'aware' you are of logical reasoning, and how much more exposed and fluent you are with other reasons, and how much more firmly you feel in making a decision, or how much more satisfied with it you are. I have been measuring mental states qualitatively and it seems to work. The thing is, you may be afraid that you are not improving in being analytical, because it doesn't seem like it rationally, and you may use reasons like I'm not getting quicker in logical reasoning, or I didn't choose the right decision, but you have to remember that any rational reason you come up with is relative to some unquestioned premise you are not acknowledging. The best way to measure progress I found is to use your feelings or awareness very objectively, constantly question those feelings, but also question the questions that you come up with. Hope this helps.