electroBeam

This question can probably be generalized to everything, but how do you keep detached, and withdraw from developing feelings for someone, even when you kiss them and hug them? When someone breaks up with you, or when someone lets you down on a date, its more important than ever to make sure that you don't get attached to the person, otherwise big consequences happen. And the more similar you are to them, the harder the attachment is. Are there any ways of keeping detached? Apart from entering the present moment and forgetting about the person?

Detachment doesn't mean not embracing and basking in those feelings, its the ability to bask in those feelings, while not really relying on it to be happy.

@Yen277 I'm the exact same man. Whenever I'm around even best friends, I feel very fake, because I have to be fake in order to talk to them about something. Its like they don't know the real me, and I can't show them because they wouldn't understand it. I honestly don't really feel anything for anyone apart from my immediate family. Don't worry about it. I wish I knew this a long time ago: "you don't need people to feel loved or happy, the only one who needs to love you IS YOU." Use people to your advantage, keep feeling disconnected, fake, superficial with everyone, as long as your doing what your body is aligned with, you will connect with god, and that's the only thing that matters.

when i was about 5 or 6, I use to be able to do this cool thing with my eyes. I use to go to the shops with my mum quite a bit. the floor was short carpet, painted with this light blue, kind of like a beach water sort of blue, and it had these perfectly shaped, dark blue squares overlaying the top of the blue colour. Being bored as fuck, I use to walk with my mum and go cross eyed at the floor, and I use to be able to do this really cool thing: I could make the squares look like they were levitating off the ground. It was like being inside the movie tron, it was soooo cool. I totally forgot about that experience I had as a kid, but I just looked at Leo's stereogram insight, and now realize, what I was doing as a kid was turning the floor of the shops into a stereogram! Cool insight Leo.

@STC who cares, its all an illusion

@ElenaO is watching tv not living life? Just because something doesnt align with your values, doesnt mean the person is less experienced than you. It just means other people's trash is other people's treasure. If you dont like nerds who play video games, thats fine, but making the assumption that he's less than you because of it is purely destructive. I use to hate nerdy friends as well because i thought that they were wasting their life.... until I grew up and realized my values dont determine the worth of other people. You have no idea how much youre stabbing yourself in the foot by doing this.

wont that scare her off as creepy? I read a study that said that women like indirect approaches more then direct approaches to making your intentions known

Yummmm. Intimacy > mindless sex

What do you mean by more experienced in life? Seems like a rather lofty term. I guarantee you that I am waay more experienced than you in playing with computers, rock climbing, etc. But I'm pretty sure women don't really care about that. Osho said once that everyone is intelligent, but are intelligent in different ways. Just because you might seem more 'enlightened' than your partner, doesn't mean he can't teach you some esoteric thing that he is really good at. Honestly, any guy who is at a 'higher level' than you is eventually going to do the same thing as you would and dump you. A highly developed person knows that no one can truly fulfil him, and will treat the relationship as a way of gaining some sort of pleasure through manipulation from it. An honest, kind, inexperienced guy is much less likely to dump you, and be accepting of who you are. But if you don't really care about that, eventually you are going to reach a stage of mental growth, where you realise that relationships are just a form of titillation, and they are going to seem no more fulfilling than eating chocolate.

@Leo Gura 3 objections I have for this video are as follows: 1. you said that you should take everything as a hypothesis, and then test it with empirical data/life experiences BUT what if testing the idea is not feasible. For example, I might read somewhere that money wont fulfill me... I can't just randomly get 1000000 dollars and test it out, I need to just believe it or not. How do I tell if I should believe that though? Any epistemology techniques or something? 2. You said briefly in your video that you need to be willing to bet that everything is possible... but doesn't that mean you might get deluded + you didn't really say at the end of your video anything about how you can minimise that as much as possible. Is there a way? I don't trust my intuition lol. 3. You said that you don't have to research everything, but only have to research what is relevant to your model or your ship, but how can you even tell what that is? Isn't everything relevant? Final question, do you use any philosophical/logical rules to make your research technique more efficient? Or do you consider them traps. You should make a sort a life purpose course, but for how to be a researcher there is waaaay too much in this topic to fully get a grip of what needs to be understood.

make your day job your purpose. I go to university, and I also run a startup. I spend 30 hours a week on studying, and round 32 hours a week on my startup. In society we have this belief that we can't be a full time student, and a full time worker, this is utterly false. I'm proof of it alone, and so are many others out there. In Sweden they only work 6 hours a week, and it was proven scientifically that its actually more productive because you aren't burning yourself out. The trick to running your business while studying, is to spend the first 6 hours of your day working on your business, and the other 6 on studying. Because the first 6 hours of your day you feel refreshed. I wake up at 3am every morning to accomplish this. This isn't being complacent, and this isn't wreckless. I strongly suggest you do this, you only have 1 opportunity to build your foundation.

So when dating, from talking to other people, and from xp, in general 80% of women (and men) believe that men should pay for taking girls on a date. I have several problems with this, and (unfortunately) being someone who is overly emotionally invested in political affairs, I feel extremely uncomfortable with this sort of arrangement. My main reasons are: - I feel like in 2017, women should have the opportunity to be independent, and pay for themselves at least occasionally. It symbolises a sense of freedom, that when they enter a relationship, instead of being restricted to what the man can afford, she can do her own thing to an extent. - I'm already not a big fan of feminism, and for society to claim that women should have equal rights, while still shaming men for not being able to/wanting to pay 100% for a date, feels extremely unfair to me. A classical article, for which I strongly oppose, is this one How do I tell someone I want to date, that I am truely attracted to them, but at the same time do expect financial support in a relationship to go both ways and not just 1 way, when paying for dates, without coming across as stingy or a cheap ass, or possibly turning them off in any way.

I'm reading a book by Osho called the secret of secrets and in this book there is the following except: Just see the contradiction: emptiness and life. Life is male, emptiness is female. Life and emptiness – both are two aspects of the inner God. When you have not chosen either in pre-ference to the other, when you have not chosen at all – you have been just a watcher – you become that God whose one aspect is life and whose other aspect is death, whose one aspect is perfection and whose other aspect is nothingness. THEREFORE WHEN THE LIGHT CIRCULATES, THE ENERGIES OF THE WHOLE BODY APPEAR BEFORE ITS THRONE... And when the light moves inwards and circulates inside your being, because there is no outlet left.... That’s what meditation is. That’s what Buddha is doing under the Bodhi Tree. You sit silently, you close all the doors, and the light circulates within. Then for the first time you become aware of the body and all that the body contains – all its mysteries. This small body contains all the mysteries of the universe. It is a miniature cosmos. I don't understand the bolded part. What is Osho trying to tell us to do in his book? Not get attached to either emptiness or phenomena in our meditation practices? "because there is no outer left" does that mean when there is no attachment left thoughts just circulate aimlessly around and that's good for some reason? A little confused... thanks!

yeah and if you don't appreciate this version of your opinion: I repeat, She does not have to pay. but if She doesn't make the effort, it tells me She is cheap or considers paying for a meal a big thing. its not. It is just a meal, something you consume 3 times a day. Then you are being sexist. Plain and simple. That's Shin's point. But social norms in general are pretty stupid, and they vary drastically between countries. So its just something you need to put up with.

Really?? I think your looking at things too black and white, and simplistic. You need to be nice and mean if you want to be successful. People are egoistical, and if you be nice 24/7, you will get taken advantaged of, simple. That's exactly what happened to the founders of mcdonalds, they trusted, and were too nice to their marketing manager, and he took advantage of them and now owns the entire business. If this dude doesn't fight for his grades, he will potentially get lower grades, and miss out on good job opportunities. In order to be successful in life, you need ethos(a good reputation) and cooperation. ethos requires you to fight for your grades, and to make sure that people don't take credit for your works, and other things you need to fight for on an individual level, and cooperation is working with others. You can't be an extremist either way.

Yes its an ego thing. Its the feelings generated by feeling insecure about not getting the grades you want. But yes its also the only way. You must not forget that your teachers are also egoic, and don't give a flying shit about you or your grades. If you don't fight for what is rightly yours (and the only way you will find out is if you do the actions you are doing now) you will never know. The teachers wont put the effort in to make sure that you get the correct grade. Of course though, what has been proven effective in the past is that surprisingly cooperation beats conflict. This means instead of sending complaints 24/7, go up to their offices and ask them nicely if you could review their grades, because making their egos feel threatened isn't always the best approach. Sometimes it is, regardless of what the nice spiritual people on this forum tell you, but 80% of the time its not. This approach will also make you feel better. But again if the teachers are lazy, sometimes they need a good kick up the ass!

Im from Australia actually, and australia is like germany. The US is extremely conservative, they love their gender roles. When you go on the bus, its interesting to realize the public actually get pissed off with you if you dont offer a seat to a woman on the bus. That shocked me when i went there. Im not sure what cultures these responders are from, but Australia is much more dutch than most of the countries on here. I paid for the girl i was dating on the first date, and she was suprised and expected to pay for herself...

Sure, but sometimes, even revealing the truth to someone can make them more callous, and potentially lead to a more dangerous situation. A lot of people who become enlightened, actually loose their empathy (like Rali). If you want to change the world in a way that makes people more empathetic, the enlightenment path probably isn't the best option. The best option would be to indoctrinate people with the love of Jesus, or maybe try and turn everyone into hippies(which my country is currently doing in primary schools).

Yeah and I also believe that when i die in gta 5, singly player, the screen goes black, but I know, i truely know that no other characters in gta 5 will die as well. They are out there somewhere, its just that my screen has turned off and i cannot see them. I dont have any proof of this, but I definitely know its true.

I looked at the traits of a psychopath today, and most of the traits happen to be traits I've heard enlightened people have, and they are actually traits I'm trying to posses. Most notably: Enlightened and psychopathic people both don't have any empathy Enlightened and psychopathic people both don't care about what others think ( a trait I'm actually trying to posses) Enlightened and psychopathic people both seem calm, and don't have anxiety, and have a lack of fear (a trait im trying to posses). I just looked at the psychopath quiz, and I think that 10 out of the 12 questions could apply to enlightened people just as much as a psychopath http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/psychopathy.htm Are psychopaths and enlightened people more similar to each other than the general public?

@Snick not according to Rali, Mooji and Adyshanti. See 2:47 of this video No... saying enlightened people have empathy is completely baseless, see 2:47 of video at the top

Thanks guys for your responses, I appreicate your feedback, but I have decided to just take girls out on cheaper dates, and ask them to help pay for themselves after the 3rd date. Due to (oppressive and stupid notherless) social norms currently in our society. And also STC's brilliant response

For about 2 months now, embarresingly, ive developed a fear for the dark. Ive also developed an intense constant sense of fear/anxiety. Though Ive had general anxiety all my life, and this sort of anxiety is nothing like that, its more of a sort of fear for my life, hypothetically speaking, it would be similar to someone who is afraid of being assasinated. This fear, im fairly certain, has developed from my daily meditation. The fear got so strong, that I stopped meditating for an entire week, and distracted myself into my career, and social life, which effectively reduced the anxiety. Though i decided to start meditating again, and unsuprisingly the fear has come back. I don't know what to do, I want to keep meditating of course, but the deep contemplation of existence has gotten to the point, where its starting to feel very scary(the world is very unknown), and its making me feel very lonely. This is obviously one symptom of the dark sides of meditation, but i cant shake this fear, and this fear is super terrifying. Any suggestions lol? tl;dr: have developed a deep, constant existential fear due to meditation. How to resolve it?

@Martin123

I actually developed hallucinations about 2 months ago from meditation. BUT this is as Leo would say 'par of the course'. Every teacher I know seems to talk about hallucinations, regardless of how shit hot their ego is. EDIT: I just watched Rali's new videos, I now see where you get your perspective from. He has completely changed his channel.