electroBeam

@Martin123 I suppose because Leo and Osho always talks about how spirituality will woop you in the ass, so I guess tolerating it is the right decision to make.

@Michael569 Spirituality is simply the act of avoiding delusion Its what science tries to be, the act of understanding what realness, truth, empirical evidence truly is. While its beautiful for relieving suffering, its primary aim is truth. But of course Spirituality cannot be defined. Its so deep and revolutionary, that its definition cannot be compartmentalized into a dualist language and way of thinking.

@FirstglimpseOMG please explain what u mean haha. If it didn't hurt, I would keep going. If I keep going.... it feels like i'll go into a place I've never been before, as alien as a parallel universe, without me being in it. A place without a worldview, a very empty place. But I'm not sure because haven't tried it yet. Going to this unknown place is also very scary too.

@Prabhaker Ive also noticed that when i go out into the street, people ive never seen before in this life seem very familiar. Even places ive never seen before seem very familiar. Thats creepy but not that scary. Ive tasted the thing you wrote about in your last sentence. That's the part I'm talking about. Seeing no one in the mirror, being completely unfamiliar eith the person in the mirror, as if youve never seen yourself before, as if that thing in the mirror isnt even a person but just empty space (even more empty than a rock) is toooo much for me. I stop the practice there. And i dont know how to get over that hurdle.

tl;dr: my social anxiety and low self esteem is holding me back from fulfilling my insecurities of having no dating experience and social skills, and I'm not sure on how to fix it. I'm not sure of whether I should do shadow work, focus on more parties, or focus on studying at college more, im at a loss. Hi guys, I feel completely stuck and unable to actualize. And I just don't know what to do anymore, I have no idea on how to move forward from my complicated position. I have 3 very strong, deep insecurities holding me back from growth: - I feel completely insecure about my lack of dating experience with women - I feel completely insecure about my lack of work experience for employers - I feel completely insecure about my inability to build rapport with people around me(i think i have autism) While I don't have social anxiety, I am still an extremely shy person, and still have relatively low lack of self esteem, even though ive been working on those 2 things for nearly 5 years now. I'm entangled in these insecurities, and whenever I try and fix one, the other 2 jump in and prevent me from mending the former one. For example, whenever I try and achieve pickup, my social anxiety jumps in, and my insecurity about my inability to build rapport jumps in too, and convinces me to not do pickup. Phrases like "you're going to make a massive fool of yourself", "everyone will stare at you and laugh at you" and lastly "why are you doing pickup when you should be working on developing work experience? No employer is going to hire some sleezy pickup artist!" But whenever I try and work on developing my work experience for my job, my thoughts jump in and say "you're never going to get that feeling of deep connectedness from your boss", "You suck at dating, you should be doing pickup right now!" Due to my insecurities, I have literally filled up my timetable to the point where I literally have no time to sit by myself and contemplate life. I have filled it up with going to parties(to build social skills and dating experience) and work(to gain work experience). But my social anxiety and low self esteem hasn't gone away, and I feel like ive made no progress in the last 2 years at all, or very little. Though whenever I try to decide to deny a party, so I can focus on shadow work, I feel a very deep sense of guilt and fear, because I feel like I'm missing out on social and dating experience that I so desperately need. I feel extremely stuck. My ego and insecurities have me by the balls, and I'm deeply entangled by it. My dissatisfaction for my life continually grows stronger, and my desire for truth/my inner voice grows louder every day, and my mental state is about to collapse, I can't keep stuck in one place anymore. Right now, I have a party to attend on friday, but I know that I shouldnt go because I have a test on monday. Though my fear and insecurities about dating are generating a lot of tension within me, and I don't know what to do. What should I do right now to get out of this rut? Thanks guys.

@Martin123 haha I'm like Leo, I seem stubborn on the forum, but behind the scenes I'm taking advice

@Martin123 already am! Thankyou!!! Appreciated

@SBB4746 sure but what i find is that too many negative experiences(I've been cold approaching for nearly 5 years now, starting back in high school where I would just walk up to a random group of friends, even though I was 100000x worse back then, then now) is that the negative experiences build up and actually make your self esteem worse, because it builds triggers in you which goes off. I think too much exposure causes problems too. And I've already suffered heaps!!! Lol I don't know if I can really continue. to put it into perspective, I've added 200 people on facebook in the last 2 months, because I'm neurotic about this problem, and I don't feel like im getting anything out of it. I'm no more liberated now, then I was 2 months ago, let alone 5 yrs ago. I really don't think facing your fears really work. Like in my experience, I've tried that, its not working at all. it like your body changes, and your abilities change, but YOU and your perception of you doesn't change. It stays the same, and its so hard to change. My body just can't handle walking up to another group of randoms anymore, because it knows its not going to get anything out of it. It feels silly and pointless, like for example why would you smash a plate on the ground for no reason? That's how i feel with cold approaching friends, its just silly and pointless and I can't keep doing it. But at the same time still really suffering.

This question relates to Leo's paradigm video. My question basically asks how you can tell whether or not you should question principle/rules and ideas, vs when you should believe them? The cool thing about human beings is that we have the ability to be able to record ideas and write them down, either on a piece of paper, or nowadays in a digital format. This gives the human race an amazing boost in potential, compared to other animals, because it means that we can learn from the mistakes of others. Someone can write down a set of principles; from and within mathematics and science for example, which others can follow. Or one can write down egoic traps in a spirituality book for others to avoid. BUT sometimes following these principles blindly can lead you astray. For example, just believing in certain scientific principles can leave you in a paradigm that is unable to experience the existential truth of reality. Or sometimes believing blindly in principles can prevent you from thinking outside the box, because it limits your way of thinking. So how does one differentiate between a principle/rule/warning that is genuine and is something that should

I had deep social anxiety in high school. Saw 4 different psychologists. No progress was made. Went and talked to a buddhist teacher at my university one day about it. Social Anxiety has decayed to almost nothing, and I'm even able to do pickup. What a coincidence. The thing with psychologists is that their studies only work for a certain amount of people(worked for 60% of people who tried it) and they very wrongly assume that the reason why it didn't work 100% is because of experimental error/randomness. This isn't the case, its actually because everyone is different. Their theories about how the brain works is severely limited and ironically bias. There are some cases where its useful to use a psychologist, but there are just as many cases for seeing a buddhist teacher/Christian priest/etc about the same issues.

Honestly in my experience, I find Buddhist teachers to be 10x more effective at helping you deal with problems then any psychologist suprisingly.

@Martin123 I'm willing to go through pain, but I see awareness as like an uncontrollable stream. If there is a lot of anxiety or resistance, no level of willpower will allow you to break through some hurdle, because willpower seems to be an illusion. I can't physically go and meet new people people of how insecure i feel. Like it physically, by the laws of metaphysics, can't happen. So that's why i feel stuck.

@retardedhorse1 or ive found a cure for it. Good luck sir in your resistance to gods will

@Martin123 good luck with not feeling like life is one big imaginary 2D game while on the path If you find a way let me know you npc

@Martin123 well if you get your leg chopped off, id rather be blissful then shoot myself in the foot with negative ideas about my leg being chopped off. But thats just me, maybe others are different. As you said depersonalization disorder is a requirement, so why not "just keep your leg attached"? Because you cant. Takes years to mend it back together. Ans choosing not to be blissful will only hurt you in the long run, in the same way it did to me. The only way to get over depersonalization disorder is to accept that you have depersonalization disorder, fully and wholly. Chasing doesnt work when we are talking about dropping beliefs. This is the only way out.

@Dodoster yeah it feels great, but then comes a vicious storm revealing the meaningless of the world. The world seems to work in yin yang, equally magnificent and horrible at the same time. Not that theres anything wrong with that. Yeah awareness is self aware, that is a well known fact. But that doesnt mean you are completely detached from the imagination in your head.

@Dodoster Is that truly me though? Are we something at all? Do we even need to be something? Maybe reality just flows without a 'me'

I'm not myself constantly. I constantly change depending on flow of awareness. Changing from 1 state to another. If I'm not myself during normal life, how the hell am I going to be myself during a time where time stops?

@retardedhorse1 What's so bad about depersonalization disorder? The only reason why depersonalize disorder is bad is because you are still attached to some beliefs, while being unattached to others. Learn to drop all of them. When spiritual teachers say that all of our suffering is caused by us, they arent being figurative, they are being literal. You don't have to be miserable just because you have depersonalization disorder. Being miserable is a choice you are making. You can have depersonalisation disorder, and still live a beautiful life. All of your worry about the world being meaningless is just a negative projection of your ego, it has no basis for existence whatsoever. EDIT: Just to make things clear, this isn't a spiritual response, this is me simply questioning your assumptions in your thread.

@100rockets How do you know a brain exists? If you haven't got any first hand experience of it? Enlightenment being a trick is just as likely as science being a trick of the 'mind' whatever the fuck 'mind' means.

Hi guys, I'm a very neurotic person. So I use a lot of shadow work to heal myself through neurosis I have. Though shadow work doesnt really work with me. Like Through shadow work I become aware of what is causing suffering; for example why not being with my ex is causing a lot of suffering -> because it makes me feel worthless, beneath her, and obviously the attachment to her causes problems. But how do you then get rid of the suffering? And be ok with feeling worthless, or somehow change feeling worthless? Thanks PEEPS

@username the latter. There would be no identification with the hopelessness feeling, when it comes up, it will fade into the background, in the same way things from the external world do.

life truly is meaningless, but we still have an innate desire to make ourselves happy, even if that seems impossible during a crisis like this.

Youre forgetting that enlightenment through meditation can yield the exact same results that you are articulating on with psychedelics. Going through the dark knight of the soul can also make you suicidal maybe. Its enlightenment thats the battle, not necessarily psychs.

I don't think there really is a definite answer as to whether or not someone should pursue enlightenment. I don't even think there's a definite answer to how to find happiness. All we can do is trust our inner voice, and hope that it's right. A lot of things can lead to sadness, sure someone on LSD might kill themselves, but in the end everyone dies anyway right? Nothing material exists for eternity.