StardewValley

@Joseph Maynor You mean that when I'm mad for people treating animals poorly, I'm actually mad at myself for treating myself poorly? I'm not sure. Maybe more contemplation will give me more clarity. @MarkusSweden The fish video felt right in the moment. I made this post a few minutes after discovering it on the Green examples mega-thread. I could relate to it because I hand out vegan fliers so I get faced with cold rejection a lot. I could relate to the coldness of those two men who clearly want nothing to do with the vegans in the video (whom I view as myself) and probably just brush them/me off as idiots. I also disagree with the vegans' method of yelling at the fishermen. I'd love to yell at them too but it probably makes them even less likely to convert their beliefs.

Update: I did a journal contemplation session with the question "Why am I angry at meat eaters?" The conclusion I reached, although conclusions are always changeable, was a bit disturbing. Please read at your own discretion; this might trigger depressed people. I associate helping the animals with my own spiritual liberation. I took it upon myself (consciously or subconsciously) to make my life purpose to stop the slaughterhouses. So, my self-worth is connected to how well I am at stopping slaughterhouses. My self-worth comes from how much sex I get. Since I'm unsuccessful at stopping slaughterhouses, I'm being denied sex. Sex is liberation in my mind, because if I can't even have it then how will I ever break from my earthly body? Sex is a milestone towards being liberated that I'm not reaching. Therefore, every time someone refuses to stop eating meat, they are keeping me stuck in my earthly body. I feel pain in this body, even right now as I type this in the form of depression and anxiety, and I want the pain to stop. My first answer to the question that I based this contemplation session around was that I am angry at meat eaters because they support torturing animals. My conclusion is that I'm angry at meat eaters because they're torturing me by keeping me in this earthly body. I was wondering whether I should have posted this thread in this general section of the forum or in the serious emotional problems section. I feel that I made the right choice in posting it here, but that I should move to the latter soon in future posts. Edit: I don't think one contemplation session is enough to get to the bottom of this. I reject my conclusions already.

For me, it was having a traumatic event.

An example of someone who transitioned from orange to green.

In lucid dreams, you make up the dream as you go along. For example, in one my lucid dreams I was walking in a forest trying to find ingredients for a potion. I imagined that I would find the ingredients along my walk on the forest, such as the mushrooms at the base of trees and a doll from a nearby group of people. These things manifested where I imagined them to be. The waking life is the same, except that it takes longer for things to manifest. You can imagine what you life will be and it will happen like that, but it just takes longer for everything to happen then in a lucid dream.

@Genghis Khan Thank you.

Do you happen to know which music they would play for people with depression and anxiety? I'd like to try listening to it. I usually listen to the same kind of music as the person above me has posted a video of.

Keep seeing your therapist.

People already do this. Famous singers such as Michael Jackson have admitted to being possessed as they sing and play music on stage. I think you should stay away from it; what good can come from interacting with dark spirits? They will try to drag you down to dark places. On the other hand, you can read The War of Art. It talks about this topic but in a positive way.

@Cortex Yes I have read some pages of Sam Vankin's website before. It's nice to know that somebody knows how my mind works so intimately. I have hope for a better tomorrow though. I believe in miracles where brains are changed. I recommend the book The Science of Success by Wallace Wattles. I haven't put what it says to the test, but my intuition tells me that this book is a gold mine.

This is funny because I demonize stage orange so much in my head. They are the worst stage: they destroy the environment, only care about material things, and are closed-minded to anything that can't be proven by their beloved Neil Degrasse Tyson. They are hooked on social media and the rat race. They think that nothing is real if you can't see it with your eyes. At least Blue has a strong sense of morality and are willing to die for what the believe in. Orange aren't willing to die and leave behind their house, Instagram account with 1000 followers, and car. At least Red are honest in their criminal and aggressive behavior. Meanwhile, orange criminals are the most dirty and low kind as they steal from you secretly with scams. Stage Green is superior to stage orange. Stage green people play artistic video games; they play beautiful video games such as Life is Strange and Silent Hill, instead of games for dumb people such as Call of Duty, Fortnite, and Overwatch. We actually have real connections with people instead of stiff, superficial connections where you have to keep watch over your social image.

@Sashaj Not here. I'm here to feel like I'm not alone, since the people here are on my level of thinking and above, whereas the common people in the street are generally not as advanced as I am (or would like to think). Usually I look to the opposite sex for my supply; I pick one girl and she controls my mood for a few months to a few years. If she is attracted to me then I can do anything. If she is rejecting me then I become depressed. This is a cycle that I've had ever since I was fourteen, and it usually ends in my scaring them away, being angry at them for leaving, and eventually finding a new one.

@Sashaj I've always been pretty aware, so I can't answer this question. I'm nineteen and I've been referring to certain people in my life as my "victims" since I was fourteen.

I am currently doing this. If you have a strong sense of purpose in your life then you can retain it almost effortlessly; I went four months without it once I discovered Leo's book list and got into reading as many as I could. Even having a girl in your life can be enough sometimes.

You're similar to me in how you think. I can never keep my supply people for too long. Although I consciously feel that I am above everybody, subconsciously I feel that they are above me (even though I deny it) and I sabotage myself until they leave me, or there are the people who I feel even subconsciously are below me and I get rid of them myself eventually.

Can someone answer me this question please: Why do stage blue and religion go hand in hand? Isn't religion a guideline for spirituality, such as that you can follow any religion you want and reach the same place? Spirituality is in green and above, isn't it?

It was one of those shows I watched as a child, along with Drake & Josh, iCarly, Spongebob, Fairly Odd Parents, Ed Edd n Eddy, and so on.

I like your username.

@Mathew Pav From what I take, green is basically orange, but instead of money and sex, they like charities and making everyone feel good.

@Solace I love you too.

Doesn't green also love people just for the sake of loving them? Don't green do stuff like meditation and spirituality, meaning that they are becoming open minded? So what's the difference?

Name: Joseph Age: 19 Gender: Male Location: New York City Occupation: Student in college Hobbies: the internet When I was 13 I became depressed suddenly upon the start of high school. I had trouble making friends my whole life and for some reason it suddenly hit me when I started high school and I became depressed. I stayed stagnant for two years and then at age 15, upon ending my second year of high school, I started my journey to become normal. I was going to work hard to become normal and become a normal person that hang out and joke around with the normal people in school. I started doing self improvement stuff such as bodybuilding and researching social skills online and experimenting on my classmates on how to have conversations. When I was 17 I lost interest in being normal and instead became interested in women, so my self-improvement was heavily focused on becoming sexually attractive. However, I also was interested in spirituality and would meditate and lucid dream and stuff around now. I then at one point had a panic attack for the first time and it made me stop caring about women so much. It made me care more about loving others and making the world a better place. Even though my interest in women was cut down, I never stopped improving myself. It is possible that I was always meant to start a self-improvement journey, and my life situation at age 15 just happened to make it manifest as a desire to become normal socially. By the time I was 19 I stopped caring about women almost entirely and started caring about how to become self-sustainable. By now I had been a fan of meditation for a long time and started going down that route. I became interested in improving my mind so that I could make the world a better place. That is currently where I am. My focus is heavily on improving myself so that I could improve the world around me. At the same time, I am also very interested in spirituality. Challenges I've Overcome: I've learned how to have conversations with people. I didn't really know how to do it but I taught myself by practicing on people in high school and the gym. What I'm Working on Now: Social anxiety Anxiety in general Depression

I haven't heard of any of these except for the Angel Beats one.

I changed my vote several times. I still have the emotionality of green but I am beginning to realize that everyone has their own nature and you can't just force someone to change their nature. Therefore I am currently voting green-yellow.

It appeals to my autistic brain because it puts people into clean-cut categories.