I think you need separate Nirvana and God even though it is you can ascend higher. fuck that man, you were born, you will die and you won't at the same time. Life is not an illusion, sounds like a trap to me. Enlightenment ehhh. I've had a Moksha from reading a dharma text, that was cool. Not a fan of Marijuana but anything can happen. I would cut out habitual use of anything, sober state is great. You should feel completely vast normally I think that's a good indicator that spirituality is permeating trhough your being.