Sempiternity

Has this horse been beaten enough?

Leo, you seem to be trying to achieve raising your consciousness to the point where you can alter the illusion at will, be able to manifest objects, create legit miracles, and alter all of humanity at the collective consciousness level. What specifically would you do if you reach any of these levels? Do you have a plan? I'm guessing no human, except maybe Jesus or Buddha if they ever even existed, has gotten anywhere close to these levels of consciousness. So if you were to become one of the first, you could literally alter all of humanity. So what would you do? Be honest

What you're saying here many, including Leo, has said. But I have no way of understanding this, which can be frustrating. Things like this can only be experienced, not known by the 'mind'.

Who is the "I" that is not

He talks about this at great length in some of his Blog episode. https://www.actualized.org/insights/tapping-into-collective-consciousness

All I want is to Awaken. Nothing, literally nothing else matters to me.

I've been contemplating what has been holding me back from fully dedicating myself to going forward with an Awakening. Although I desire all the 'benefits' of an Awakening more than anything else in life, to this point that desire for Truth has not been able to surpass the fear of death. My realization is I'm not suicidal enough. Odd thing to say I know. I need for my desire for the death of myself (Ego) to be the number one most important thing in my life. Whereas the desire to stay alive is the most important thing to me now. How do I get my desire to die* to overcome my desire to live? How do I become so suicidal that wanting to die is such a passionate need that I would do it right this second? *From teachers such as Leo, Ego death/waking up from the illusion and realization of God, is the same as physical death. Yet you come back to your body eventually. I want Realization of God/Infinity, not permanent physical death.

Easy to say. Harder when that time comes to truly face it for the first time and have to surrender to it.

Hadn't quite considered this as a direction. I do consider myself a mosaicist, and enjoy pain. But, I'm sure there is a level that could be so unbearable as to want to 'end it'. Lol, self torture as a way to Enlightenment, sure why not. Extreme problems, sometimes can take extreme solutions. I doubt cold showers would make me want to kill myself.

Yes of course, but it's real to me now. And there in lies the dilemma. Can't surrender to death if the will to live is stronger. It may be obvious that there is no death from the other side of Awakening, but from this side it's still real and terrifying.

Lol, yeah I hears ya. Quite the epic battle. I know who I'm rooting to win. Well yeah, that's what I'm trying to do, hence the post

I get that. I've tried. To be transparent, I have shed everything I could to shed attachments to this life. I got rid of social circles, all friends, dating, sex, my physical appearance, socializing, anything fun, planning for the future. I gave up everything to pursue Enlightenment/Awakening. I don't know what else I can do to make myself suffer other than taking away food or pursuing physical pain. After trying everything, I just don't know how to tip the scale from fear and holding on to life, tipped to wanting Truth more than life.

Well that's like you're opinion. I find Ayahuasca to be a gentle medicine. It's not like Mushrooms or LSD where the more you take the more dangerous it can become. This was the advice that was given to me when I did my first ceremony, and I'm grateful for that advice. If you're going to do the ceremony, might as well go all in. You won't regret it. Aya doesn't have the fear or panic associated with it like say 5-MeO. There's just beauty. And it's not just my experience. Out of the hundreds of people I've done ceremonies with, every single one of them had beautiful experiences. Sure some people get confronted with their past demons, which can be hard, but even they admit that it was healing to confront.

Yes it is worth it. Ayahuasca is amazing. You will not regret the decision of doing it. My advice, no matter how high you get keep coming back for more doses. If you're going through the expense and effort, make I had an Awakening my first Aya trip. Also, bring really good ear-plugs. Trust me, you'll want them. Also a face mask. You will be very sensitive to sound and light. Blocking out sensory input is important. Last bit of advice is to Surrender. Let the medicine do it's thing. Don't fight it. Just relax and surrender to it's will, and it will be one of the best experiences of your life. Go for it!

How would you say is the best method to change a Core Belief, or create a new Core Belief? Such as creating that working towards a full Awakening is the most important thing in your life. So important you will literally do anything, spend every moment working towards it, with full dedication. Vs having the belief that you're scared of Awakening, or a belief that Awakenings are most likely just another belief and most probably not true. Which is a belief that doesn't serve you or your life. Where as the former does. That belief of full dedication towards an Awakening would most certainly lead to an Awakening eventually. So what is the best way to change a Core Belief that doesn't work for you, and create another that does?

But one might have to get over many core beliefs before being able to get to that point.

While I think a change of environment can brake up some ruts, patterns, and habits, I'm not sure it necessarily breaks up core beliefs. I think how you perceive yourself and the world will stay with you until intentionally willfully changed.

And this is desirable? Doesn't sound desirable.

Hate to say Leo, but you also sound like a broken record concerning Joeseph Maynor. The guy has been a major negative influence on this forum forever and I've seen you warm him dozens of times. How much is too much before you finally ban him? Don't forget about this gem from him a few months ago.

Well said! Nailed what it's like and how to connect with the experience.

Teal Swan was never in a cult. She made the whole thing up. The "cult leader" who held her captive, was a nice old man that was a friend of her family, that took her in to work with horses at his veterinary ranch when she was a teenager. In return she made him the central figure in her delusions. All well documented by some reporters who found her stories to be bullshit and did some digging and found this man and interviewed him. Teal is a delusional con artist.

Very much agree. So nice when everyone there is one the same page = joy, celebration and love for all. I use to be a performer at festivals like this. Mostly in the Northwest of the U.S. So many beautiful memories. To me these festivals are the height of human civilization (at least in today's age).

Which festival is this? There are thousands like this all over the world. They are equally beautiful.

I live in Seattle and it is wonderfully Green. Just the other night there was a huge lighting festival at one of our biggest parks. Hundreds of local artists made amazing lighting art installations. The whole area was lit with colorful LED lighting. There was DJs playing music. It was all free. No one did any of it for profit. They gave of themselves for the joy of others. Thousands of locals came. Exposing many lower stages to things they've never experienced before. There were no police, as there was no need. Just thousands of humans, from all different backgrounds, all coming together in celebration of life. And that is just one example of thousands that happen here in Seattle every year. It's not perfect, but it has lots of Stage Green beauty and harmony.

A) Most anyone knows not to leave anything of value in your car, so if you left $3000 of gear in your car you were asking to get it broken in to, that's on you. B) Where is the infinite Love for the methheads?