Franz

No offense Aleks, but you dont have to state the obvious. I watched a couple of his videos with a very open mind (Which I have. E.g, I read the "Book of Ra" and liked it). My most honest and heart-felt intuition says: This guy is a thousand red flags. Look into his eyes, there is zero kindness in his gaze, more of a zen-devil style creepiness. He may have a lot of spiritual wisdom, no doubt, but I'd still avoid him like the plague. Also, he is literally selling snake oil https://www.etsy.com/de/listing/242416605/galactivation-energy-oil?ref=shop_home_active_4 and whatever this is (only 1902,62 €!). Guess you bought that shit? https://www.etsy.com/de/listing/256641055/ra-zelle?ref=shop_home_active_8 Please dont take this as hate, I almost didnt post anything at all, but its concerning to see people idealizing spriritual egos.

This. Right now, you are only looking for people with the same bloated spiritual ego. After a while, you will find ways to evoke deep conversation with anyone you want. Everyone has a most interesting story to tell, from a perspective only they possess, you just have to make them talk (... in a gentle way) and listen carefully. Maybe translate the words they use into something you can work better with. Have fun man

Hi there! I know the energy you are talking about since I was like 13 years old. I may willingly acivate those spikes by flexing my pelvic floor muscle in a certain way. Back then, I just liked the feeling of it, and never thought of it as a big deal. As practice, you may try to activate this energy on purpose and channel the energy for a couple of seconds.You can do this while meditating. After a while, you may redirect your whole bodies energy towards your head and achieve a mini "brain-orgasm" . This includes your head feeling like it will explode and seeing "the light", a blissful experience, very relaxing and spiritually activating. I am not a theory guy, so who knows if it is "kundalini" energy. And no, it wont make you self-realized or enlightened, the effects (if there are any) are too subtle. I would still say it generally put me on the path of seeking in the long run. much love man, keep your head up

The sheer memory of the experience I am about to share still makes my body shake (No BS). Writing this text seems almost impossible, but Iam trying my best, out of gratefulness. After a series of minor mushroom trips in the 3-6 gram range during the last months, I felt ready for the final breakthrough, or ego-death, the ultimate surrendering. For everyones safety, I will not go into details about the exact dose which did the trick for me, but it was A LOT. The experience still caught me off-guard, but I made my way through hell ( this is not an allegory), also thanks to a beautiful person, my dear tripsitter aka GF, who stood by my side until the job was done. Eternal gratefulness towards her soul. After fighting "chaos dragons" (most accurate description I can come up with) for two hours, which felt like eternity, I was finally weak enough to give up my life. Dont get me wrong, this was not some "bad trip" kinda stuff, I literally had to face the fact that everything I ever did, loved or thought to be is, ultimately, a lie. Thats the nasty face of surrendering for you! I did the most counter-intuitive thing and willingly accepted defeat, death and insanity. Dont underestimate the hardship of letting EVERYTHING go, its terror. Then, for a split-second, I accessed the "collective consciousness", "god-mind", or whatever you want to call it. Franz was gone, I was still there. Instant realization of my own nature, which is love (cliche much? because its true, my friends). This stage has to be experienced! My words here are silly and will only evoke concepts in your mind. The beauty is beyond anything you can imagine. It is heartbreaking, purifying, and humbling in the most glorious way. I spoke the Truth (in any imaginable way, capital fucking T) to my girlfriend for a few minutes. She was barely able to follow me at all, which is fine, but she got the general idea, and cried tears of joy just like I did. BTW, I did not feel any difference between me and her. Slowly, I morphed back into human mind and form, not without some treasures nobody can buy. My state of mind after the experience is nothing short of perfect. I am still the same guy as a person, but my mind is silenced to a large degree. I can finally see the world for what its always been. Awareness is through the roof, video games are not engaging anymore (lol). Distinguishing between genuine life goals and egoic desires is easier than ever, and there is much work left to do. Self- realization opens the door towards the actual work. Some one-liners that inspired and actually helped me: Enlightenment is just a word, a concept. Dont pay too much attention to it, you ultimately have to let it go Love (surrendering) truly IS stronger than hate (resistance) Everything is based on the eternal conflict between resistance and surrendering There is great power in non-resistance. Most people would consider this a weakness, though If you hear the call, accept it You are never alone, and never unloved Everything is just a game, and death is not real (you still treat it differently, which is fine) Duality and death is a necessary lie (for now...) The ego is here for friendly competition, you can work with it, not against it Follow your best intuition, never become consumed by things YOU FEEL are wrong If you encounter malevolence and"evil", be its last host. You have the power to let it go, and it will disappear You will encounter WHATEVER you TRULY want to encounter in life Life is LITERALLY a reflection of yourself. Dont underestimate this This is a love-letter towards LIFE and TRUTH. Dont waste your existence, I beg you. It will all come together just fine in the end (spoiler - there is no end). Your most humble servant, Franz

Welcome back! Yes, my state of mind and enhanced awareness is still the same as after the trip, but No, its nowhere near anything I would consider an ongoing non-dual experience. Leo is totally right, this is still the early beginning. But even a glimpse of the divine beauty is able to transform you. I called this report "my search is over" because all the searching I have done so far was, mostly, unconscious mental masturbation. Writing this text still is, and I have to constantly remind myself to never go full ego mode ever again. Which is a bit easier after you have looked behind the curtain: Party is over, egoic little me I am totally aware that the same thing might happen again, and I will probably be ashamed of this thread in a couple of months/years/random_time_illusion_scale. But we are getting closer man, and its awesome I (or my new spiritual ego, who knows) feel like Neo after the first Matrix Movie. A small victory, but the "enemy" has shown weakness and is not undefeatable. Brain slave no more. Take everything I say with a grain of salt. Taking things dead-serious is a huge trap (maybe because death isnt that serious?). Much love

Agreed man, I get it. Much love.

Yep At the end, you realize that what you believed to be "you" is in fact the bad guy!. Everything you are afraid of was created by yourself. Let the cause of it go, and the outside manifestation will disappear. You cant safe anyone if you cant safe yourself, always look inside for answers. Also, most well-written fiction is a great source of wisdom: Fear IS the path to the dark side. And it does not matter how you personally define "dark side", it still works: The irrational fear of death runs our whole society. Getting angry at the world is being angry at yourself. Dont resist the current experience. Thats why Jesus turned the other cheek. Never become bitter, even if you are presented with very good reasons. But hey, I am preaching again. Probably an ego thing . Remember, I am working within my limitations, using words lightly. I am not speaking the ultimate Truth, how could I. But I will consider my life successful if I can manage to reduce the suffering of only a single being. "Whoever destroys a soul, it is considered as if he destroyed an entire world. And whoever saves a life, it is considered as if he saved an entire world" (Talmud)

Thanks man, this is a very good way to put it. Dont be jealous, your way might look very different from my own. Just listen to that silent voice, calling you to search for "something" (even though its nothing). Another "fun fact" I clearly remember saying to my Girlfriend at the very peak of the experience: Every word that I (and thats you, too) say is a compromise! The whole system of language is flawed beyond belief, you are playing the "devils game" as soon as you open your mouth. And thats ok! Just dont get hung up on anything someone is saying. Look into someones eyes, willingly accept their flaws, and give them a hug. Thats "truer" and more honest than any word you might say.

Sure thing. Daily Meditation and contemplation, mostly. Also, my lower Dose Trips every 2-4 Weeks were spent in Meditation and goal-setting, lasting 4-6 hours. I was consistent but didnt beat myself up if I missed a day here and there, being busy with University and stuff.

You are most welcome. About your "guilt": dont beat yourself up, or think that I am someone special now, or more advanced. I just had the genuine desire to know these things, and eventually the answer came to me, in weirder ways than i expected. Your time will come! Much love Thanks man, I really appreciate it. About my GF... well, we have never been closer than now.

I have nothing to defend, and I am not going to argue. Thats a belief about the nature of being. Who told you its true?

I want to give you the best answer I can come up with: Evil arisis out of duality, which again is a form of resistance (Just imagine your skin, resisting the outside world). The collective awareness split itself to create a feeling of human duality. The individual awareness forgot where it came from and got caught up in being seperated. Seperation implies: I know what can hurt me, so I know what can hurt YOU - that is the birth of Evil. The Evil is out there in everyone including you, because you know how to hurt others. You do not have to act it out. It will disappear when duality is over, if it ever will. Our current life would not work or make sense without duality, maybe we will transcend it somewhere down the road. My guess: If every single individual realises its core nature, the illusion of seperation will vanish. We may evolve into something completely different. How do I know that stuff? Just experiencing Non-Duality. There is nothing evil there.

Hello there. You are spot on, you will not surrender without a serious fight. All those objections came up for me too, because it sure as hell does not feel like you are surrendering to something good! But if you do, you will see through your own illusion, which is the ego! It lies to you in various ways, told me I will 100% end up insane if I give in, never be the person I was, or will be an outcast for the rest of my life. And it all felt super convincing.

@Nahm Your are one of the very few voices on this forum that do not join the conceptualization circle-jerk.

As a shrooms user, this post sounded very familiar. But honestly, I dont see much use in talking or writing like that, Its like describing a painting to a blind person. One Line caught my eye: "Meditation? lol" Thats what I feel like since a couple of months. There is no real need to keep on actively meditating at a certain point. I still do sittings here and there, but most of the time, I go into a meditative state during everyday activities anyway.

His criticism is not totally out of place, this forum has a slight tendency to create vague religious dogmas while constantly telling itself the opposite. Some guy keeps quoting Osho like his words are the bible, others repeat stuff like "you NEED to practice x", "an ENLIGHTENED person would never be like Y", "This is only dogma!" and so on. Or just look at Loreenas signature (no offense, really). This isnt about being wrong or right, just watch out what you are doing.

I love music festivals, just dont do psychedelic drugs in public. Actually, being dead sober at such a place is fun and forces you to stay in the present, because there is so much novelty reality is the trip BTW, anyone here going to WACKEN next week?

Warning: If you consider trying this substance, educate yourself first! This here is a great page: https://erowid.org/plants/hbw/ Read some Trip Reports too to get a feeling for the experience. What did i consume? 13 Hawaiian Baby Rosewood Seeds, scraped off the outer shell, crushed into powder with a hammer, let it sit in lemon juice for 30 min, drank it with orange juice (including the powder) BTW this is way to much for a first time dose and should be taken by experienced psychedelic users only. Those Seeds are cheap and legally available without any trouble (its only illegal to consume them, makes sense right?... right?). Just make sure you get the right ones - Hawaiian!! Baby Rosewood Seeds, as fresh as possible, untreated with chemicals. I never did LSD, so I wont compare the two substances. I am a experienced mushroom user though. Why and how did I take them (Set and setting): Introspection in a meditative setting, evening (bad idea), GF as my sitter in another room if needed Dosages, just to give you an idea (approx., depends on weight/personal factors): Threshold: 1 - 4 Light: 3 - 6 Common: 5 - 8 Strong: 7 - 12 Heavy: 12 + Potentially dangerous and live-threatening (see side effects): 25-30++ Side Effects (which I experienced too): Nausea (moderate to unbearable, lots of people seem to puke their guts out) vasoconstriction (restless arms and legs, some people experience terrible cramps) flat, slow heartbeat extremely long trip for me (50hr+ until back to baseline, most trip reports say shorter though) Report I tried them before, 5 seeds, with zero results. Problem was, i drank them with lots of regular water, and the chlorine (even in bottled water) kills most of the substance. Use Juice or boiled water instead. Not knowing that, thinking I bought crap, i took 13 seeds to give it one last try. That was six o'clock in the afternoon, waaay to late as we are going to see. Some reports talked about a 4-5 hour duration, I was in for 10 times longer. The whole thing took me by surprise. One Hour after I drank the juice + seed mix, I started to get the very well expected nausea. Being a masochist, I payed very little attention to it, and did not purge (puke) either. The come-up was very long, effects started to arise after like 3-4 hours. For the first like 2 hours after this, It felt like a more euphoric mushroom trip, and I was able to get some extremely deep introspection done. I have never seen more clearly whats important to me in life, and that I have to give it all to even have a chance of fullfilling my life purpose. There where zero visuals, only a heavy body load and a strong mind trip. I really enjoyed the substance so far, and thought I already reached the peak. After six hours, I got really tired, but the trip only became stronger. I started to feel extremely dissotiated from life, my girlfriend, my body, just everything. Things started to become really dark as i became more tired and weaker, something you should not be at all when doing these substances. My thoughts went downhill very fast, THANK GOD i was able to detach from them mostly, as I was close to having a psychotic episode. I started to feel like dying, but not the close-to-ego-death feeling when on mushrooms, but rather a sense of physical death. I layed down and just went with it, but did not allow myself to sleep, since I was SURE I would not wake up anymore. My Girlfriend was already asleep, I was too miserable to wake her up, since I felt like she would not care anyway, and part of me did not care about her anymore either. I never had suicidal thoughts, but that night almost made me go outside all by myself, and maybe do something terrible. OR fully give in to the substance, maybe this is what enlightenment is like? I deceided to fight the experience, knowing those thoughts are not mine, and distracted myself with some light food and vitamin c supplements. Interestingly, this pulled me out of hell, and i was fine with falling asleep. I had thoughts about enlightenment being a bad joke, my "work" towards it utter nonsense, watching actualized.org videos and starting psychedelics as a foolish mistake, me having permanent brain damage now and so on. It came from a very scared, weak place... my guess: pure ego talk, unfiltered. I woke up 3 hours later, still tripping considerably, because I had to go to university (yeah, good job, i know). Oddly, I felt on top of the world. After a coffee, I was able to act normal, if not more focused than usually. You never appreciate life more than after such a dreadful experience. Life was beautiful, and I had great conversations with wonderful people. This went on for two days in total, with declining effects of course. I wasnt back to completely normal, or "baseline", until around 50 hours after ingestion. I probably wont do this substance ever again, and I do not recommend trying it, even though it did more good than bad in retrospection. It definitely upped my mental toughness, introspective ability and appreciation for life. If you must, take a smallish dose first. Stay safe!

What a crazy ride, thanks for sharing. Sounds like you went a bit deeper down the hole than me, glad you made it back Just in case anyone cares: the extreme duration of my trip might have been due to my "syrian rue habit" (drinking some like once a month or every other month, sometimes at the same day i do mushrooms, sometimes by itself for relaxation). This seems to extend the duration of any psych trip, even when the last tea was consumed weeks ago. I cant explain this kind of duration otherwise.

Thanks for the Input, Mr. Gorilla. Most I ever did was 6 grams, with no breakthrough experience. I MAY go for 7-8 gr in a couple of weeks/months and see were it takes me. Consider writing about your 8gr experience in more deph. I consider trying a tea, even though i dont mind eating them at all. You have a point there. I overread the part with the "crude extraction". It was my first and last experiment with this substance, dont try this at home kids. Even though it was not as bad as it may sound, just trying to be objective here, if that is even possible. Have you shared your personal experience on this forum or elsewere? I am curious.

Thank you for your kind words, I felt very touched by them. And you are right, I am still holding back on the mushroom dosage, they have something about them which is larger than me, so I treat them with great care. I will contemplate on things which might be holding me back (attachment and identification).

Thanks Guys! 13 is my lucky number? But seriously, I am pretty harsh on myself, not on others though. I knew I would be able to handle it, and was far from acting out any suicidal thoughts I had. No regrets. Also, there where no reports on LSA on this forum, and somebody requested it in the "ask leo" section, which is a nice plus. BTW if 13 is ridiculous to you, what about this gentlemen (25!)? Agreed, I will stick to mushrooms from now on. I can perfectly relate to the idea of a "clean", magical experience beeing the only thing really worth going for (If doing psychs at all). Thats why I already abandoned stuff like alcohol, weed, even animal products for that matter.

I feel you, and your urge to write these words. Been there too. Sadly, those truths cannot be communicated to people in a proper manner, only experienced. LIVE them instead.

You have a point. Arguing any further would be egoic nonsense

I agree that it is quite counter-intuitive to say so, and I dont believe it to be true 100%. Still, a walnut shell wont digest into anything that will effect your body (e.g. if made into powder), so i do not get your comparison. Your "Junkie Friend" is right. Altough you have to be very desperate to do this, the mycelium (part of the mushroom in the soil) actually contains a small amount of psilocybin after fruiting. Dont judge quickly. And please Mobius, stop sending those mechanic bullet-sponge scorpions to attack my ass