Paulus Amadeus

Man I'm getting so tired of people on this forum giving advise on subjects where they have had no results in whatsoever.

Ah you are a virgin, okay. I see how that changes the situation.

Maybe she should be focussed a little bit more on what he wants. She is only talking about what she wants and what she doesn't want. Seems pretty entitled to me. If I was her I would want the people who are in my life to feel good and be happy. i don't see any if that in the post she wrote. Just interested in not getting hurt and getting things her way. Not the way you are going to ever attract a non-needy guy.

@SFRL wow you are such a charicature of a shitty pick up dude. So you sleep with women casually, but when they want to do the same you respect them less? Pretty disguisting man. And you are not getting laid much with that attitude, I can promise you that right now. @AmalieRuby If you want a cool guy, you are going to have to be a little bit more okay with having sex earlier. There will be some serious resentment building up in the guy you are dating if you are just going to make him wait for forever. Try to loosen up and have some fun. Sometimes you have to earn your way into a man's heart. He should just want to be in a relationship with you from the get go? With non-needy dudes that is just not how it works. You have to grow on him slowly and then he will choose you. And there is nothing you can force about it. So, loosen up, have some fun and get laid! if someone has sex with you but then doesn't want to be in relationship with you it is not the end of the world. Happens to everyone!

@zoey101 Well if you are freaking out about that you can't let go then you should let go of your desire to let go. Just be fine with the total chaos that is your thoughts and emotions. Not as a technique to get rid of them! Just because you are okay with this chaos being there. Then you give up resistance to what is and your life will be much smoother.

let go of trying to let it go

@Vipassana goddamn, this art is so so sick. Jesus christ

Yes. I've read it too and it's really good!

Yeah not having acces to love, intimacy and sex is definitely a problem. Especially in the earlier and middle stages of self-development. So don't run away from this problem. Face it and make it work. Good luck!

Yeah you can usually tell who of the two of you has sexual blockages. Does he get very tense in bed or do you? Or maybe both. In any case, you can work through sexual blockages by doing meditation, yoga, breathing excersises etc. Or maybe you just don't have any sexual chemistry, in which case I would say move on. But sounds like there is just some weird stuff going on with him. And maybe because he is distant you really want his approval and love etc because now your self-image depends on it. If this is the case I would say move on.

@SFRL Anyone else getting bored of just making millions and millions of dollars? I mean, it's really easy now to just make tons of money but it just seems to be boring. I much rather do stuff like ride my moterbike. It just hit me suddenly guys. Trying to impress us or are you asking a question?

I definitely see your point. But I think the man you are describing now would not be a very good fit with that women in the long run. Evolutionary speaking for a woman the threath of non-monogamy is loosing her man. So if she is really sure that her man loves her and wants her etc she can be fine with him sleeping with other people quiet easily. For the man however the threat is 'raising someone elses babies'. So if his girl is sleeping around a lot, the only way his genes would still feel happy is if he is doing the same. I realise that you can't explain everything by evolution but I still think this is accurate for almost all the cases. I think it is definitely possible to overcome your evolutionary drives but it makes everything much much harder. That's why I think the man should have more sexual partners than the woman. Or at the very least not be in the sitaution where the woman is sleeping around and he isn't. That will be really hard to bear.

Yeah but if the woman is leading the show than most likely the relationship is pretty unfulfilling for both. If the woman is feminine en the man is masculine that is. But sure, I don't know everything, maybe it's bullshit.

ah sounds like you are doing very well. Just be mindfull of your jealousy etc. This is the part where you are growing! Now you can really see what your attachment is and what your genuine caring for this girl is. Sounds like it is going just fine.

I'm in an open relationship too. Works really well for me. I think these are kind of the things that need to be in place for an open relationship to work. 1. The man in the relationship, on avarage, has more sexual partners than the woman in the relationship. 2. Both of you love eachother whether or not this relationship continues or not. 3. There should be loads of honest communication about deisres, insecurity etc. 4. You both have a lot more than the relationship going on in your life 5. You both are largely non-needy, non-jealous, non-insecure. If this stuff is all in place and you have found a compatible partner this stuff can be awesome. Otherwise it will be quiet hard. Still, even if you fuck it up I still think an open relationship has huge potential for growth. Who's idea was this open relationship btw?

yeah it's not all about determination. Maybe you don't have anything interesting to say in your blogs or youtube channel. And then it doesn't matter how many blogs you've written or video's you shoot. People just don't care. Or maybe you are not spending enough time marketing your content. People are usually not just going to stumble upon your content in the beginning. Very impressive that you wrote so many blogs though! That's some serious determination.

@Amer dump her! How people are in relationships like this is just beyond me. So much better to be single than in this situation. It's really really simple. Dump her!!!!!

Dude to have the relationship you have to have these two things in place: 1. Be a sexy, interesting, loving and charming dude (and be an 'alfa male' etc etc etc) 2. Find a loving, sweet girl who likes you for you Most girls are selfish just like most people are selfish. They are not in a point in their self-development where they can care for anybody else then themselves. If you yourself are also in this camp than you have no chance of finding a girl who is actually capable of loving. There are definitely some girls out there who have what you want. But most girls don't. No matter how alfa you get. These girls might suck you dick but they will never love you. Cause they only care about themselves. So you got to start developing an intuition for seeing which girls are capable of loving and which aren't. And then if you are lucky in the future you will find yourself in some beautiful relationship. You will have to be capable of truly loving too though, which you probably aren't. These girls are in high demand because people can sense their loving and sweet nature. So you really need to be a pretty awesome and loving guy to get one of these.

I feel like pick up is wat these incel dudes need. Although they are probably way to creepy to ever make pick up work for them. But pick up can definitely be a relatively healthy way for man to get out of their isolation from women. It's a hard journey though. So ofcourse most men can't walk that path.

@Moreira And then he fucks them?

Could be legit. But cannabis in itself can definitely also be an addiction. I live in Amsterdam and have seen quite a few people get really hung up on cannabis.

depends on what you eat ofcourse. I think it is very much possible to be vegan and not supplement. But I would say just listen to your body. I have been going largely vegan lately and I have not been supplementing nor have I been planning the amount of protein I take in etc. Just been listening to my body and it's been going great. Feeling lighter and more energetic than ever. Did loose some weight but I've also cut out a lot of carbs so that makes sense I guess

yeah that's pretty crazy. Maybe some old wounds and trauma's surfaced because of the sugery? So could be that you are actually going through a cleansing and that this will be good for you in the long run. But that's just an educated guess ;). Maybe see if you can be mindfull of everything that is happening within you?

And anyone who is a master performer doesn't need to say that to himself. i think you subconsciouss realises this too. I'm super super sceptical about affirmations. But that's just my personal opinion.

Yeah change happens over years not days usually. And why is it so bad to be affraid? Maybe you can just enjoy being nervous and then performing well despite off it. Could be a challenge that could make you grow right? You shouldn't fear fear. Just accept it when it is there. You'll be seeing a lot of fear in your life anyway so it's good to establish a good relationship to it early on.