Cocolove

I was going to make a post but I decided to just ask the question here I have a huge resistance to doing this technique, i rarely ever procrastinate or have so much aversion to doing something, but it takes everything in me to do this. It's way easier to do an SDS or kriya yoga, which I'm doing both of daily. I have been doing shamanic breathing weekly for a few months for around 30 minutes. I'm considering quitting doing this technique, but I'm not sure. Why am I experiencing such huge resistance to doing this technique and what does it mean?

I did the same thing, works like a charm.

You are right. Also in the same video he described how one day you will break through and it will be worth it. On the ego backlash video he had bee doing lots of self inquiry and last week he made a video about, I was half expecting him to say he'd gotten enlightened, and he seemed like he did by the way he acted, but (yes or) no. He seems aware people area addicted to his videos, he mentioned in the ego backlash video that they might be a distraction for people. Also I bet he is fine

I'm reading integral spirituality, which ones did you get?

ditto

what are those, explain?

Most of my top 10 were about spiritual questions, and things that can only be resolved with enlightenment or contemplation. I really worked hard on this exercise and took it seriously. I did it for like 2 hours. What does this mean? Is my life purpose possibly to just become a monk. I've been thinking about doing that, of course it would take a lot of growth first.

@ShugendoRa I've always done it just once daily, also, Sometimes on the lesson routines it says rounds, sometimes sets, sometimes minutes, or sometimes just the exercise name, or sometimes just a number with no indication anywhere if it is the number of minutes, rounds, or sets. Where can I find information on how kriya works, so I can properly understand the routines. The book tells you what to do but I feel like I'm not going to get very far if I don't understand what I'm doing and why it's structured how it is

Why not go 100% on meditation/enlightenment right now, if you know you will at some point?

I got curious about the image Leo showed in the spiral dynamics application video. I found this article from Wilber explained where he got it from and is a valuable resource. http://www.kenwilber.com/Writings/PDF/SummaryofMyPsychologicalModel_GENERAL_2000_NN.pdf

@winterknightHow do I deal with fear of insanity from consciousness work, specifically self inquiry

Let us know what you decide to do. I'm a year behind you, in the same struggle

Background: I've been meditating for about 4 months daily, 30 minutes minimum in the last month, kriya daily for about 1 or 2. shamanic breathing weekly for 1 or 2. My intention was: To go four days doing 4x 1 hour SDS per day. Last week: I'm in high school, Christmas break started. For the week before last week I was able to pull off a few one hour sits, and the rest were at least 40 minutes. I had realized if I wanted to do this retreat I wasn't going to be able to just jump up from my 30 minutes per day. The day break started, I did my weekly shamanic breathing, daily kriya, and 2 one hour SDS sits. It was the most i've ever done in a day ( and i've tried). The next 4 days I used a ton of discipline to do two times one hour sits. I was motivated to build up to doing 4 a day for 4 days, and to make the most of my break. For those 5 days (first day of break plus next 4), I was doing one sit of mindfulness meditation and one sit self inquiry. Throughout those 5 days I faced a good deal of ego backlash, and steamrolled through. I thought it would go away but since I kept pushing through it snowballed. Retreat: Today was the first day. I woke up and could feel the ego backlash in my body. It was a craving for unconscious habits that I've cut out a while ago & a deep raw feeling in my chest, like after a break up or some kind of loss. I went through my morning kriya, a grueling 1 hour SDS, and made it 30 minutes into my 2nd sit (which was self inquiry). I called it quits. I realized I wasn't going to have some massive shift in consciousness that allowed my to pull this rapid change off. My plan now is to spend the rest of break doing kriya, a one hour SDS, and 30 min of self inquiry(in an SDS style). I also plan to keep up this habit once school starts again, which will be challenging since I am so busy(hard classes). If I can do this, which I am fairly confident in, It will be a massive success, going from 30 min per day to one hour meditation, and adding in 30 min of self inquiry.(Leo's last video made me decide I want to set up a self inquiry practice, & this week has been my first time trying it). I am currently experiencing the same ego backlash from the beginning of this paragraph, and am spending a lot of time sitting there mindfully through it. A sneaking suspicion: It was not feasible to make the jump from 30 minutes a day for only 4 months, to 4 hours SDS a day, even for a retreat. It was too large a change in the system of myself, even for a few days, and especially after the huge change of 2 hours daily that i practiced before the designated retreat time. Am i right or am i wrong? Would it be best to go with my new plan for daily practice, and try again over the summer? I was thinking in a few months I might be able to spend my weekends doing 2 day retreats where i do 4 hours SDS per day. How long does it normally take, in terms of daily practice, before a person is able to the kind of retreat I was trying to do.? Am I wrong in assuming it would be easier in the future with more daily practice and growth? Or is the cold hard truth that this would take the enormous suffering it would take me to do it right now? Thank you for reading, I would really appreciate answers, and insight from those who have been where I am now in terms of development and spirituality. <3

@onacloudynight Kriya secrets revealed the book talks about how (from what I understand), meditation puts you in a place, especially as a beginner, where the monkey mind is very active, and kriya quiets it without you trying to do so. Whatever the reason, I vouch that It feels much more powerful.

@ajasatya The vippassana retreats wouldn't let me in because I'm not 18, and I don't have much free time during school to align my schedule with one of those. I will do one of these in the summer though, thank you. Thank you, your post put a smile on my face as well. I agree with that ^, In the last 2 months i've been really working on focusing on the breath, my body, and trying to put awareness on awareness in all my free time, such as while driving, walking, or other activity like that(and as much as I can when my mind is occupied). @Leo Gura Thank you for the thoughtful reply, I did some journaling the other day and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more careful in focusing on quality over quantity. I was falling into that trap a bit. I have noticed in the past month that there were a few days where I did enjoy the meditation, and I was also able to get into a very meditative state, I guess this will happen more often over time I feel much more certain in what's going on and how to do this thing, thank you all. I got a lot of books for xmas and I started reading the book of not knowing, and one robe one bowl.

Shadow dance is a great book. Watch your polarization towards the external world. Things which you admire are your positive potential and that which disgusts you is what you repress in yourself, often times. Meditation of all kinds is shadow work. shamanic breathing is very good for trauma, which is part of shadow work

How can I tell if I'm experiencing an ego backlash or spiritual purging? Or are they the same thing?

Since it's really powerful, I didn't know if it should only be done in the context of a kriya routine, with the other preparatory exercises that might work to control the energy. Kundalini syndrome sounds scary

Enlightened people only have sex in marriage and moral sex only ha Yes, they do often still have sex. Some choose to do nothing stimulating and just work on spirituality, in which case they don't. At some of the deep levels of enlightenment, sexual energy turns into kundalini, and one doesn't have sexual desire anymore, in which case they don't.

Maybe purging is what happens when you deal with an ego backlash properly and mindfully, continuing practice. If you have an ego backlash and do not persevere, you will not grow, but will go back to the status quo you won't grow because purging doesn't happen.

Time lapse of meditating on a street corner

I have been doing it for over a month. I've had feelings of tons of energy in my heart chakra and brumayuda twice, its super intense, and when i do kriya pranayama i can feel the energy. Question, when I do a strong determination sit, I sometimes do a few kriya pranayma breaths and it brings me into a very focused state. Is this safe?

eat a really spicy food, lay down, and meditate

My car has been keyed. Turn the other cheek and find it in your heart to love this guy.