EmptinessDncing

Leo talks a lot about conscious marketing. Surely there are marketing guru's out there that help with conscious marketing. As someone delving into entrepreneurship whilst looking after a family and still working at another job, I don't have time to do it myself!

I have personally been struggling with the world needing saving. I get very sad. Then I realised that I was just doing the 'life's not fair' thing. Actually, it's exactly how it is meant to be. Horribly perfect. It's just perspective; it all is. If my vibe is low it looks like chaotic shit, if it is high it looks like organised chaos. I struggle more with acknowledging that I am COMPLETELY in control of whether my reality appears as friend or foe. I create it, so if I decide it needs saving, it does, if I decide it is perfect, it is. I'm trying to see it as perfect transformation school and remove the limited perspective of time. Or just stop thinking!

I can bring on blissful sensations at will, I just feel into my breath/body, or find beauty in something mundane. If I do it for a while it turns to ecstasy. If I do it for 3 days I get very unified, but it's not very functional. Are you saying that contempt and ecstasy can't occur in the same space? And this ok chestnut: is it escapism? No different to having a drug? What if I'm missing something important and I'm just shoving it under the transcendence rug? Perhaps the trick here is to just hold that vibe. Like clinging to dear life. I dunno! The motivation to hold it waned with meaninglessness. If there's a point I'm sure I could achieve all sorts. Maybe not being an asshole is enough reason!

I'm sure this is a no-brainer for many, yet for me this is something at a core level of trauma. You know, a BS story that doesn't serve me, yet I can't let go of it. Judgment is an interesting thing in spiritual circles right? Because we're all so spiritual that we don't ever do it right (pfft). I noticed that when I let jack judgment off the chain to go wild and throw insults at everything that some deep shadow stuff came out. Interesting way to process! So what came out was contempt. Contempt at people that don't do self-love work, because it's their fault that the world is all fucked up. I had to learn to love myself (no-one else was going to do it), why can't they. And I get sad that some people are so traumatized that they can't do the work. People that rely on others for their source of happiness are pathetic. People that think IQ is more important than EQ are stupid. So there is an obvious dualistic projection here. I am those people. I am fucked up, and if I loved myself as much as I think I do, then why am I not loving Self as all? The loop is that it is true that only I can love myself, because there is no-one else. EQ is arguably more valuable, and relying on others for happiness isn't a smart move. The arrogant contempt that comes along with it is obviously a guide to some childhood trauma, but I can't access it. I got to this dark place after spending a lot of time in quite a chill blissful, very self-loving and compassionate space and then asking the universe to step it up by helping with an energetic detox. Obviously this bag of bullshit couldn't come along for the upgrade and needs to be cleared. I've been quite depressed, but content that it's necessary, and empowered to work through my shit. I'm convinced this ridiculous attitude is common on the spiritual growth path (ego backlash). Interestingly, alongside this attitude I can also have so much compassion and love to the point of tears for just about anyone! Any shortcuts guys? I can't do psychedelics, it triggers my fatigue and previous trip PTSD.

You say yourself that there is a dream and you claim enlightenment, so this is your reality. I say if it is a dream, it is a dream. You realise you have been dreaming, and you can call that enlightenment or potato cake, who cares. But you can't stop dreaming, all you can do is be aware that you are. It's like being aware that you are lucid dreaming. You just know you're dreaming. And like lucid dreaming it takes practice to not forget you're dreaming. The differentiation between my alseep and awake states have become vague. (as in litterally going to bed) This is a phase, like any other. One not to ignore because it happens. This is what it is like to awaken. To say fuck this shit some days, and the next be utterly awestruck at the beauty of the person walking in front of your car that was entirely unspecial (today). My journey is very, very normal. There is no 'it'. Just a journey of learning there is no 'it' and to come back full circle and apprecite life as it is. It is shocking to realise this. Spiritual people invest a lot of time and effort in it only to feel like it was all some sort of conspiracy. And I don't expect people to call off the chase just because there is no fox, you have to look in all the hiding places yourself to really believe it. Then you have to call off the calling off. I haven't let go of that yet. If I had, I wouldn't be writing here. When I say 'yourself' I'm not referring to you, winternight. If you thought there was an 'it' you wouldn't be qualified to teach, you'd be delusional. You know there isn't. Sorry, I'll stop writing now, it's probably overstepping the line. Have a nice dream ; )

@PreetomTruth is a hostile place, not a warm and fuzzy one. Neo didn't wake up to cotton-candy. The truth is, however, it stops mattering. My reason for writing is it's fun. What else to do? Why is it fun? What winternight said. We both hold a truth and feel compelled to share it. Enlightened or not, we're all just sailing around in the dream looking for answers that don't exist because we have the wrong questions. The enlightenment game is just the elusive carrot keeping you in hope that one day life will be better. That's a child's dream. Enlightenment is realising there never was a carrot, just infinite bullshit. That appears hostile when you're trapped in fantasy land. Wake up! You can humour me and maybe learn something, or reject it for the carrot, whatever. That's why people don't wake up, they don't want to.

Of course it's not. And? What's the point? Why do you teach? Really, why do you want to teach this bullshit. Anyone truly awake knows it's nonsense. Who's teaching? No-one attempting to get no eyeballs on their web page to get no money? I stopped rambling for a few days to reflect a bit, head back to the void. Gah, really? I wouldn't wish this on anyone to be honest, I'd rather set up a support-group for the poor fuckers on the other side, not high five them! There is no enlightenment, because there is no waking up from the dream, just realising it's a dream and being stuck in it. But you're right, it doesn't choose. I didn't choose that, it felt conspired and an inevitability. A culmination of events holding an illusion of choice. I'm doing that ping pong thing people do before it abides. If I had a choice I'd not choose this actually. People don't choose enlightenment, it chooses them and nothing they try to do or don't do will change it. And to those few, I sympathise. Leo isn't big on Advaita BTW. Your teachings somewhat contradict his. It all points to source, however the 'how to get there' is not in agreeance. After some of my own soul searching I've decided to teach basic personal growth. Awake or asleep, life happens. It's nice to know how to sail that ship confidently, or dream sweet dreams and appreciate the nightmares. I don't need to teach enlightenment. It's like selling ice to the eskimos. Or wool to sheep...

What if we're talking about the same thing with different language? What does it mean to choose? Who is choosing? The universe. Is there really a choice? Yes and No. No because what we perceive to be choice would have happened anyway, regardless of what perception we have around the chooser. Ultimately there is noone choosing Nothing. And yes, because the movie is playing. In the movie we learn. The movie (relative) is not separate from who I am (absolute). If we separate them there is duality again. There is a choice to have eggs or cornflakes, and consequences apply. Whether we perceive the choice to be illusiory is irrelevant. There is choosing to think, or choosing not to, and consequences apply. In choosing not to today, there was realisation that ego had taken over creating undesirable consequences, and hence motivation to remain still again. It is the opinion of some that true mastery is making that choice. To dial up different states of consciousness. This is a form of choice. I'm not claiming to be a master, I'm just a rookie, but there is acknowledgment of responsibility for choices. It is far too easy, once awakened, to spiritually bypass responsibility with 'there was no-one here doing it'. Today I had payments cut off because I forgot to do something. When I called the guy, memory was so vacant I couldn't remember the three questions I had to ask. It just fails to arise. Yesterday when in my head I could remember all sorts. I'm screwed either way. Ego vs dysfunctionality. Choice!

I hope you get that my argumentativeness is trying to get the difference between our two states. Yes, the woman in the movie forgets shit. It's just a movie. She pisses off other people that still thinks the movie is real. She is now coming back to the movie because other people in the movie don't think it's okay to forget their birthdays and apointments etc. I don't actually care to be honest, it's not real. It's an effort to care. What I'm questioning is should it matter? It doesn't appear to, but when nearly everyone in my reality is saying it does... Just to clarify, I consider 5D to be full immersion in no-thought land. Where it is harder to think than not. Thoughts create the sense of I.

@winterknight Yes, you are absolutely correct. Through experience of surrender and it fucking up my life the surrender couldn't continue. I have no desire to be in that space. It doesn't work for my family. How the hell can you get around that? If you can honestly tell me that there can be surrender with functionality that doesn't require a nanny and personal assistant, I'd happily go there. Can you? I'm a 40 yo single woman BTW. Two young kids. Falling apart needs space, IMO, that I don't have. It feels like I've gone as far as I can within the framework of my current life situation. I have changed that situation as much as I can. Any more would involve ditching the kids and moving interstate. Um, no. Please understand that I do know what living in that space feels like. Really. It is everything that you describe. Just beautiful still space where the sense of 'I' was. Where a different type of thinking happens. Life just happens. This has been part of my reality on and off for a while (not on drugs). It just pisses off my family. There is nothing wrong with living more in 3D. It just is. When I say 3D, my reality isn't anything like what it was. There is still a strong experience of the world being illusiory/non-dual, there is very minimal suffering, and 90% of the time there is bountiful joy and bliss. Sometimes there is desire to go deeper, so I do. This model is realistic in a western world. As far as I'm aware yours is not necessarily, but feel free to educate me. BTW, a few very good teachers of mine have agreed on escapism. Life is subjective. I can agree and disagree with everything you say, it's more a matter of is it helpful.

@AlwaysBeNice I have many enlightened peers (physical ones, not online) Not just newbs, but old hats. One told me he gets depressed, so I asked the others. Same. Depression, not suffering. Yes, I like to be the cat amongst the pigeons. Gets people thinking. Don't write me off as unenlightened, just because you think I'm a <insert judgment here>, question how it's possible. I'm just shallow and only 2 years in is all. You don't master it over night. Or stop being a dickhead. And @winterknight doesn't mind a bit of slander. There's no-one home that cares. I don't care,I can't imagine he does. The slander isn't intended anyway, more blatant interrogation. It's how I build trust. If he's a good teacher he'd know that.

Look, I don't mean to be too harsh on your teachings, you seem fairly clear. I've obviously got a thing going on and this is what it is... I'm not content with the regular way of teaching, nor checks and balances on spiritual teachers. There must be a better way. that's what I'm digging for.

@winterknight You remind me of that Advita cartoon where the "enlightened" dude does nothing but talk about how no-one and nothing exists while the other chick is just appreciating a tree like a normal person (that we later discover is also enlightened). Do you want to be all mysterious and mystical or wake people up? I get what you're doing, but in my opinion it just creates more confusion. Appearing special creates separation. Personally I like to do normal as much as possible. Enlightenment is not a fixed state of consciousness. Sure you can't unknow the truth, but you sure can "half-ass enlightenment" to quote Leo. You can actually carry on like an egotistical dickhead "Zen-Devil"-style if you don't maintain practice. And you can be so deluded by your teachers that even after awakening it takes a while to realise that it isn't at all what you thought they were selling, and the new teachers can maintain the bullshit. Did you know that it is common for enlightened people to get depressed? How do you keep your ego in check? Or are you assuming you are beyond that requirement?

I didn't. If you have done a lot of emotional release work, then that is your normal. I've seen all sorts, whatever does it for you. Just be aware of your Drama Queen. Sometimes this behaviour can be externalising what cannot be internalised so is a form of resistance. On one occasion try being with the sensations in your body as they are, rather than emoting them outwardly. What happens? It's a bit like the difference between dropping acid and laughing and dancing vs sitting quietly with it. People can't meditate because they can't be still. May be a subtle form of this. Or not. I've seen people shake all over and intuitively I get them going "oh my kundalini" Drama... It doesn't mean anything.