moon777light

@Bittu Whats my biggest obstacle for me and how to get over it? and Whats the best path for me, or better, am i heading in the right direction spirituality-wise? Thank you

I have now realized exactly why i meditate consistently for a few months then stop cold turkey until i pick it up again a few months later. I start feeling overwhelming anxiety and fear and i have a hunch that things start going worse when i meditate instead of better. I couldnt get a notion of why, why does this always happen until today i randomly listened to an esther hicks talk which covers this. She said that when people start meditating they always go to her asking why does it seem that all hell breaks lose in my life when i start this practice? And according to her its because when you meditate, you "calibrate" yourself to Source, to Who you Really Are, your divine self. Because of this, when you are in situations where you calibrate to who you are NOT (lets say negative emotions), you notice it 10x more intense than it was before. Apparently it didnt get worse, the negative emotion is always the same, it just seems worse because youve now accessed extremely positive emotions/vibrations in meditation. I find that this is likely what is going on with me, i feel anxiety soo much worse than it ever was before. How do i overcome this obstacle? Halp.

Last week the Guardian made an article about "real jedis" of today, where they interviewed people who identify as jedis. (yes the ones from star wars). One of them is a meditation/buddhist teacher called Jay H Templey and she has a youtube channel based on raising your consciousness and its themed around the fictional jedi figure. In case theres any star wars fans here you might like her: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCywlSnenSp4WsynhfQoH0uQ/videos This is the link to the guardian article: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/feb/11/you-have-to-face-the-darkness-within-you-meet-the-real-life-jedi-knights

@outlandish i hope it plays out like this @Nahm on a theoretical level i know this, but it takes a very couragous heart to practice it all the time hahha@Leo Gura noted @TrynaBeTurquoise im pretty sure that is whats going on, but i cant seem to get over the block, im lost in the heart of a tornado of anxious thoughts and i feel like whichever way i move it just follows. I find what nahm said about just observing the thought to be the best way, but sometimes the feeling is so intense, so scary, that i turn to panic mode, i feel like okay im observing this, now it should start to lessen, any second now..., and instead it gets worse and so i panic and think "you know what, the observing might not be it" @mandyjw mostly paranoia feelings. I completely feel the hunting vs the hunter thing, and in effect im actually hunting myself will try with this harder @Preety_India your welcome <3 i have to remember the rain before the rainbow haha @Artaemis im confused as to whos Esther and whos Abraham hahah i always see the two names mentioned together but one person. I assume shes Esther but some videos say Abraham hicks and its just her talking lol @ardacigin thank you <3

@dimitri here is the link, the moment she talks about what i was saying is around 10:45-11:11

@Leo Gura yea i can see that happening @CultivateLove

@abrakamowse awesome! Tell me what you think of her later @Leo Gura i dont think she literally thinks shes a jedi, i feel like shes doing it for the aesthetic/marketing and to attract more viewers. In reality she studys indian spiritual texts, buddhist, taoist, and combines with western spirituality. Its not easy to find channels that have a more holistic approach

Here are some example videos that are pretty good:

oh im starting to its so hard to change how you speak once you become aware of the gravity of the situation ahaha..like..must...not....complain.....

@mandyjw one of my favorite songs

interesting insight i got from a video: how important it is to immediately get up the moment you wake up. Sounds like stage orange self development basics, But when i think about it more, our selves work always on a plane of 3 dimensions. Body, Mind, Spirit. And once you do something to one of the dimensions, you indirectly affect the others, even if its on a minuscule level. So If you wake up the moment you open your eyes in the morning, thats a subtle hint to consciousness that you are more ready for Waking Up (enlightenment). If you go back to sleep and keep weaving in and out of sleep, you finally get up, but your all groggy, foggy, and unclear. Thats how you operate and see the world that day! in most cases, everyday! How can i expect waking up on a spiritual/soul level if i cant even wake up my physical body properly?? What message am i sending? I have an intersting phenomen where i open my eyes at a ridiculously early hour, like between 5:30 and 6:30am, then i see how dark it is and im like nooo im gonna sleep some more. The moment i stay in bed is when the cycle unsues. I keep on waking up, then sleeping another 30 mintues, then wake up then again. Then once i finally realize i should get up, i spend about 10 minutes on my phone so the blue light wakes me up. I have this inner feeling, intuition i guess, that when i opne my eyes aroud 5:30 is when i was meant to get up. I should listen. WAKING UP=Physical/Body--> Getting up right away WHEN YOU FIRST OPEN YOUR EYES, WAKING UP=Mind/Emotional-->Increasing your consciousness, Being Aware, Observing instead of reacting WAKING UP=Spirit/Soul-->AWAKENING, ENLIGHTENMENT "if everything around you seems dark, look again, you may be the light" -Rumi

This is my second journal. My last one started with lots of expectation, excitement, and a bit too much hope for overachievement with no structured organization. My biggest weakness is not sticking to plans by overstuffing my list of goals. I become too hopeful with trying to change my outlook overnight, but then as soon as i start breaking one habit im trying to build, then im less motivated to continue, when im less motivated putting things off become so easy of course, and then i forget about the habit. I was very weary to start another one because im scared of failure and not living up to the goals i want to achieve but that means i wont go anywhere. I read a passage in eckart tolle's New EArth where he describes an old Sufi's tale. A King who got pissed very easily sought out the help of a wise man. The wise man said his advice will be completely priceless but will give it too him as a gift. In the next few days, the king got a beautiful box that contained a golden ring. On this golden ring was inscripted the words "This too, shall pass". The wise man told the king that in every situation, good or bad, too look at the ring and remind himself that this too, shall pass. This will make the king wary of the fleetingness of life and every moment, and he will learn to detach from events, good and bad. This detachment paradoxically makes him cherish and appreciate life much more. Once i read that i started repeated to myself, almost as a mantra, as frequently as my mind can remind myself, that this too, shall pass. Strange-ly, when i said this, i got a feeling in my heart, something warm, and my mood truly did lift up and i was more motivated to do work and not complain. My motivation toward life in general, as well as my goal of Awakening, strengthened. I am restarted my meditation habit. This time, i will be using the guidance of the book "The Mind Illuminated". what i learned from my previous events of meditation and its failures is exactly what the book describes in reasons why people dont make advancements. I was trying to carry more eggs than my basket could hold. I focused on acheiveing too many goals, (getting still focus, distractions disappearing, peacefulness, etc). What i didnt know is that i need to structure my plan out, tackling one issue at a time, which is what book mentioned above exactly does. It has good reviews, so i hope it works lol. In regards to the whole domain of spirituality, and what this forum is about, ive come to find out that for ME, its most important to be able to meditate SUCCESSFULLY before i can branch out into other fields (self-inquiry/yoga/psychedelics/etc) i need to get basic skills out of the way in order to have a firm foundation for harder skills. I admit that would watch actualized later videos (2017ish and beyond) which are very advanced material, whereas i havent had a nondual experience yet, meaning all being said in the videos really doesnt make sense haha nor other videos such as Advaita. Journey sounds cheesy but its the name of my favorite video game (which is about the the journey of life) that i just replayed. And i think its the simplist way of describing what i am doing. ---- So for the time being, my current goals are: -> Learning how to meditate: by going through the stages of meditation listed out in "The mind Illuminated" ->fix sleep cycle I am very tempted to add more, but if i do, i know already that i am putting myself up for failure, which means i broke another promise i made to myself. Breaking promises to self is hurting your relationship with yourself meaning my self-esteem will get hurt even more. This time im taking it in piece by piece, brick by brick im building the castle. Everything else i do thats beneficial will just be bonus And the Journey starts

@Leo Gura that would INCREDIBLE!!

(im talking about the latest blogpost) @Leo Gura i can firsthand tell you how much it fucks with your brain when you have a bad diet and try to do shit, like you literally cant. Its hard to even properly meditate when you eat even subpar. I had a horrible lesson taught about 2 years ago when i had a terrible sleep cycle (going to sleep at 2 am and waking up at noon) and diet (i ate ramen 3-4 times a week, underate some days, overate others, binged on cookies and potato chips. this went on for about 6 months all while doing crossfit at th same time) until my system couldnt take it anylonger and everything tipped over. My hands and feet started getting numb, insomnia, dizziness, crying for no reason, depression, memory issues, major weakness (i had trouble getting out of a chair). I was convinced i had MS or lyme disease. But the doctors found nothing on mri's. It went away slowllyy after fixing my diet and sleep pattern but im still repairing. I still cant sleep yet like how i did before, im still trying to eat healthy but its soo freakin hard to stay discipled enough to restrict things like pasta/bread/cheese and sweets. I know when i meditate too, i make the fastest progress when i eat clean even for only a few days. SO stay healthy lol and that goes for myself too

NASA assassinated him so he doesnt spread the truth that the earth is flat

meditated 1 hour today, 30 min morning, 30 min evening. its started to make sense. The first few weeks of meditation, all i did was trust that it would get better. Most sessions were frustrating as i wandered off into who-knows-what land, not even sure if im focusing on the "sensations of the breath at the nose" properly. It seemed all so easy yet complex. Im so glad im sticking with it. Im slowly starting to get it, the flow on the breath. I am nowhere near strong focus on breath, but now i know that im doing the right thing. Im starting to get 30 second flows, 1 minutes flows, and on good days, 2 minute flows of no intruding thoughts, just on the breath, with some distraction with outside sounds. Also the after effect is very pleasant. i get into this weird aura of observation, and thoughts become quiet. Even as i walk to and fro, its observement. It feels like im starting to feel the Force, like a Jedi in training. Finished conversation with god II. Im reading Dune rn.

i cant wait to read, esp if it as strong as conversations with god im at a point where i have soo many books to read but so little time that i dont know where to start Im so happy for you and that your manifestingg, its crazy how awesome this all is once you realize holy shit this actually works!!!

uuuu i love it! Consciousness and existential questions muahaha

Not me but an amazing doctor called Dr. Terry Wahls, healed her advanced multiple sclerosis with a change in diet. She was in a wheelchair for years and now walks, bikes, hikes daily Her book "Wahl's Protocal" is amazing. She has several research studies going through with her diet and it helped people with parkinsons, alzheimers, arthritis, ALS, and other autoimmune conditions my mom healed her asthma also with diet+ exercise but it came back when she stopped being strict with it. (no gluten, dairy, sugar. Only vegtables, moderate fruit, and meat, lots of seafood too)

things are going well. Slowly starting to see how "you create your reality" is literallly down to a t, how this all works. Its scary and amazing at the same time. Also books. Books are amazing. I found a new teacher, and it insane, i have never resonated so much with anyone than with this teacher. It was like when i found actualized and how i felt about leo. The advice is so spot on, and just makes sense with the way i think and see. Of course i as always must watch out for the dogma/idolizing trap, like how i did with actualized in the beginning. I found one area where i disagree with, which is psychedelics. This teacher proposes strictly against the use of psychedelics and apparently apart from teaching, also spends time healing people from psychedelic trips gone wrong. But i still want to take them. I am looking forward to mushroom trip #2. Few days ago i had a shift in consciousness. It lasted only about 6 hours. It was a direct result of that jesus practice i stated earlier, to stop judging people for looks, plus combined with new teachings from said teacher. New contemplation: "Because with the shift away from material survival (with the elimination of the need to succeed mightily in order to acquire a modicum of security) there will be no other reason to achieve, to stand out, to become magnificent, save the experience of magnificence itself!" (CWG II) How would i think about future plans and endeavors if material things were not a priority anymore? To what would i strive for?????

ahaa didnt see it haha, thx wait is that the one about the life purpose? is says mind and machines, its about AI and computers having brains?

https://www.inverse.com/mind-body/antidepressant-diet-44-foods-may-fight-depression?fbclid=IwAR22sda-RvLAb3KcmOiCX6rsh9Comf0zAA6oVnS3VNTlh6-43XuupSZ9gYs Notice that for animal products list pretty much the entire list is seafood and organ meat!! They are the ultimate superfoods. Why waste 50$ for a fancy schmancy exotic rainforest root powder or nootropic when you have muuch cheaper superfoods like this? Enjoy!

we never know what a person is like in real life, its just us judging from computer screens. Maybe he is more devil than nondevil or vice versa

Listen to this story, its amazing, i got goosebumps

@Charlotte omg what is it called im intrigued