moon777light

i was thinking maybe the yoga and meditation techniques videos are aimed at "lower" spiral dynamic stages, like green or orange-green mix (because their mind currently works by understanding concepts) whereas "higher" levels will transcend these techniques, so understanding actuality versus concept is more aimed at stage yellow-ers?

i cannot count on my fingers anymore how many people asked for a shadow work video, including me, Leo make it already goddamit lol

same as everyone else on here lol

Nope

yes: the completion process by teal swan: very concise, straightforward and it works Waking the Tiger: healing trauma: its a book mainly for healing anxiety/ptsd/and other mental disorders but it works in the same way The Work by Byron Katie: another classic shadow work book

Good luck

i am going through the exact same thing, its so scary yet wonderful

Practice Practice Practice-significant results will be seen in a few months. A book thats on leos book list and is widely popular is called "the six pillars of self-esteem"-read it, memorize it and DO it. Part of the practice in the book is to be more mindful, so youll have to include one form of meditation. The thing that helped me the most is shamanic breathing (Leos video). Its a form of shadow work. You can do any type of shadow work if you dont like the idea of hyperventilating. But in order to get rid of your problem, you need to get to the root cause of the problem, which is what shadow work does. It makes you aware of patterns that led you to the state you are in now. Also living healthy (sleep/eating right/being productive and avoiding too much internet/social media) is vital.

I have been attempting to self-actualize/heal from my crushing social anxiety for the past 6 months with little progress. It has gotten so bad that whenever i walk outside and see a person on a street walking in my direction, i get a mini panic attack where i literally feel as if i have forgotten how to walk, and the only way i can stop myself from fainting is to take my phone out and look at my phone as a safety net. all i think is "omg this person is staring at me and is definitley thinking how dumb i am". i am so tense from social anxiety that when a friend/fmaily member takes a picture of me, my body looks stiff like a board, unnatural. I cannot afford a therapist and to make things worse my parents dont believe i have anxiety. I have tried to communicate this to my parents and they just laugh and say "hahaha yEAH right you're just using this as an excuse" My victim mentality has gotten so bad that i whenever someone doesnt give me attention i jump to conclusions that they think im the most boring person ever and no one will ever talk to me ever again. I get better for a little bit but the cycle continues endlessly, so it seems. thank you for any reply.

thank you guys so much for your replies just a little busy at the moment, but i am silently watching on here lol

@kieranperez thank you , yeah the more theory i read about the "I" , separation, etc, the more i become confused :(. i guess the most important thing to do for me is to read the 6 pillars from cover to cover to first get that stuff handled. I see now how models like the maslow hierarchy and the spiral dynamics rings true, because i tried to study ego and enlightenment stuff (since its talked on here a lot) and i started reading books by eckhart tolle which confused me even more. I really first need to tackle the base levels of that pyramid (or stage orange) before i can proceed or im only going to make the process of progress become frustrating.

then what should i do? how do i stay away from my self image. I dont purposefully think bad thoughts randomly, its usually triggered my an event. How do i stop being triggered (like lets say being outside and see a group of people my age laughing and having a good time while im sitting alone). In that moment i feel a negative emotion, which then leads to me to start making these bad image assumptions. How do i stop negative emotions coming up as a result of this trigger? (or well better to say how to stop being triggered/seeing myself as a victim)

@Faceless very interesting, so you suggest best to destroy this concept of self image all together?

@Gabriel Antonio thanks

Dun Dun DUuuuunnnnn

@Colin yea my sleep cycle has been pretty crappy consistently throughout the last 3 years (each year i have at least 10-15 all nighters and the rest i sleep one day 4 hours and the next 14 hours lol). for the past week only have i been sleeping from 10:30pm/11pm and waking up between 5:30am-7am. I'll see if it helps in the long run. @Feel Good thanks for fixing them

most people are at least a *little* bisexual. i forgot who did this, but there was a study where they took bunch of heterosexual people and then made them look at porn pictures and porn videos of that persons gender. A majority of the heterosexual people experienced arousal. But arousal is different than actually being in a relationship and having crushes. So despite being aroused, most of these people still cant imagine having a relationship with the same sex as them or experienced crushes. If you are gay, you would FOR SURE know it by now, no questions asked. This arousal you experience is totally normal for straight ppl. As emerald said, explore these feelings, and dont supress anything. also what @Psyche_92 said is very true too.

@Igor82 i shall take this habit in mind @Feel Good some of the links are broken so i cant see them

@Leo Gura thank you my impatience gets the best of me in many situations

do you guys find that you can feel the chakras while chanting Om in om japa? it says to spend only 2 seconds at each chakra. It take sme maybe 20 seconds to feel a sensation in the chakra area, does this improve with time? the chapter mentions that you will start to hear Om during daily activities, anyone have experience with this?

im definitely reading all of this and integrating, and wish you the best of progress, im going through the same issues right now <3

@Feel Good i know i know what do you suggest?

hmm yes i do think its ironic that teal still has these issues because of her job being the spiritual catalyst but i do find her videos very helpful. And i like how shes trying to show that we need to stop seeing our teachers as completly perfect human beings that has no problems. i think the reason why she gets a bunch of bad attention is because she does the mistake of "feeding the trolls" so to speak. Every single negative article she has to make a response to it, every accusation she has to answer it directly, etc. a lot of people say they should discredit her teachings just because she cant keep a relationship but many male teachers go through the same thing and people ignore them. idk, theere are problems she needs to resolve herself but i find her teachings to help my issues. For example her internet addiction vide is spot on. I have yet to watch her "how to stop caring what others think of you" @Solace thank you Solace so muchh i love the idea of realizing how every single issue is just me making up that belief. I think im finding it frustrating how i expect all these meditations to immediatley melt away my conditioning but the problem is that i become present for those 15-20 minutes that i meditate, but after i finish, i forget it and just resume my everyday life patterns. The key as you have mentioned is to integrate this mindset that in the present moment there is no one that i should be afraid of. I keep forgetting to think this and fall back into same patterns because im so glued to them. man this seems scary but im pretty sure ill realize how easy it is Also for the practices, i am doing (well 3 days so far) kriya yoga and interestingly the practices include pranayama, ujjayi breath and om chanting (om japa its called ) i am thinking about adding an afternoon session of ujjayi as you mentioned, THANKY YOU SOLACE

welcome to the club

@Durka_Durka thank you so much the worst feeling ever is constantly being surrounded by people who bring you down but i hope that is about to change @martins name yes, my social anxiety developed from grade school as well, and i have come to believe that people with social anxiety are much more prone to have an issue with laziness and procrastination. Im in my 5th year of med school, and ever since i started college my grades plummeted down. I used to have straight A's in all of my AP and Honor classes now in college i have straight D's and C's (i moved to croatia from america for college, and the culture shock and being crappy at speaking the language made my self esteem drop 7 stories lol) yes i agree that women self esteem issues are different than men. Have you done the Osho dynamic meditation? Is it any different than the kundalini? i watched the video above and they look quite similar. I think ill have to start incorporating those. I looove teal swan, i have yet to watch her videos on social anxiety tho. @d0ornokey thank you so much. I have so many resources now that i dont know where to start hehe i still have to watch leos victim mentality part 1 & 2. Ill take a look at the video you posted but i noticed he's talking to a very male centred field and pick up which i can't relate to that much. Thanks for the baby analogy. The more im self-actualizing, the more im realizing that baby's are smarter than us adults lol. i will watch the brian johnson too thanks Yes, constantly. Its been maybe 10+years that im fantasizing of a different self that people would like. (im 22). In elementary and middle school i used to write lists in notebooks of all the things i wanted myself to be and how to take revenge on my bullies and make them jealous of me i would title them "how to be popular" and stuff. know that leo introduced us to spiral dynamics, im realizing how Orange my mindset was from my preteen years to twenties. I am terrified of what others think. In fact whenever im in school and i see girls whispering or someone glance at me i automatically think its bad stuff about me. Im super scared of being confrontational. Never in my life when i had a problem with someone (other than my direct family) would i tell them my issue with them. Im not sure why, i think its because i think they'll leave me. So even if theyll say as a joke "haha your so asocial" i wont tell them that that hurt me because i am asocial, its part of my identity. And then im afraid of any awkward silence that will follow. I dont believe im a failure, but i do think im not good enough a lot. Im not good enough in school, im not good enough when it comes to having friends, to relationships, etc. When i was young i was really hyper and loved being mischievous. But my family would say that im naive/annoying/and obnoxious. Because of this, i remember faintly that some kids in preschool and kindergarten would give me dirty looks and purposefully leave me out of any game they were playing.