Elysian

I would do it in combination with daily sitting. I'm a truck driver and do this regularly, but it doesn't replace sitting on the cushion.

This sounds more likely, with how you talk about your family it seems you resent the Blue because of emotional trauma you got from it. I think you are confusing emotional trauma/trapped emotions as Blue traits. I was raised in a Baptist very Blue Household in the religious sense. Sunday school, church on Sunday, Christian private school during elementary, but my family wasn't as abusive as yours. My family was more neglectful because of not knowing how to raise me and having a lot of emotional trauma themselves. Lashing out in anger, resentment, sadness when you get a chance to be your self. That might be the trigger for your trapped emotions because you were punished for being yourself/having fun. Trapped emotions are caused when we aren't able to handle the depth of emotion we have at the time, aren't allowed to feel it completely, or were never taught how to work through emotions. What you need is shadow work to clear out all the trauma you've experienced, and you'll probably find you're actually mostly orange/green with some blue to sort out. I used the technique in The Emotion Code to clear out most of my trauma. It's pretty straightforward and can be read in a day. If you're body/subconscious feels it's ready to work through everything immediately, you could probably release all your trapped emotions in a few days. A good documentary to watch on trapped emotions is E-motion. I think a lot of what you're going through will make sense once you get done with it. Sorry for the pain you're going through, I've been there myself and I know how much it sucks trying to fix something when you were never taught how. If you need any advice with the technique in the book just let me know. I bought it on Amazon but I think you can get it for free here: https://healerslibrary.lpages.co/emotion-code-gift/

Asked intuition if this is genuine, it said it was a scam and to focus my attention on spiritual work.

It appears as tension or weakness in the arm, tension for Yes, weakness for No. It's much clearer of a way to get answers than the mind. It said that it sometimes gave me insights through thought, but it wasn't very effective as it is difficult for me to distinguish thought from insight.

Spiritual practice is the road I'm taking, and it's helping me follow that path. Interestingly though, when I probed about enlightenment the answers were unclear. I then asked if it was because I didn't understand the true nature of what I was asking and it said yes . It told me not to worry about enlightenment and to focus on spiritual growth, so that's what I'm doing. It also recommended meditation focused on Kundalini above focus on the breath, it said it would be more effective for me.

What is known is there has been a sentient, intelligent guiding force throughout my life. It's made it's intentions clear time and time again, in ways I rarely hear happen with other individuals. You can use whatever word for what that force is that won't ruffle your feathers, but it's been an undeniable part of this existence. Maybe at some level currently beyond my awareness there is a more holistic understanding of reality and what this force is, but it certainly is beyond ego/mind. It's more Intelligent than anything I've ever met, and whether I find out I'm simply a part of that and forgotten, it's God, Source, a Highly intelligent alien species, it doesn't matter. The more I've followed this intuition the further down the spiritual path I've gone and the more the dust settles.

Also had similar experience but with no thoughts. I felt like I was falling into an abyss where I would lose complete touch with my body and self. I didn't mean to but I had a knee jerk gut reaction of fear and that snapped me out of it. I didn't go into a straight panic, but I did get pretty freaked.

This. When you take psychedelics, especially LSD, you've signed an agreement that you'll experience whatever it is that it wants to show you for several hours, no exceptions. There's no escaping it, and that can be scary for some. This is one problem you simply can't run from. Think about that the next time before you say you're ready to do it again. Because personally I think you got off pretty easy.

It's been experienced directly through several different angles

I've also experienced Kundalini energy while not having the intention of bringing it up the spine. I think the deeper you go into meditation the more open/less resistant you become, and so the energy naturally comes.

It's mind blowing finally having a consistent connection with Higher Self, obstacles are just getting blown away like dust in the wind. What do you think meditation is for? It's to strengthen the connection to Higher Self, which eventually strengthens it so much that 'you' stop existing, leaving only a vehicle for Divine will. The surrendering everyone keeps talking about is really surrendering everything you are to Higher Self, or God. That way, it can use this vessel to manifest it's divinity. Higher Self is just a part of God, which is a projection of Source to inact it's will.

I'd agree here. A 9 to 5 is nothing compared to the time our ancestors had to sink into survival. Especially alone.

Breakdown doesn't necessarily mean surrender. You could've just got overwhelmed, which is an emotion entirely of itself.

Feeling subtle energies can be really surprising the first time. Glad it went well. What I really want to try is Sound Healing with tuning forks! Intuition has told me that is the last step I need to take to finish my shadow work. Do you not feel energy when doing Kundalini Meditation, or do you not do It?

If you're obsessing this much over her, you not only have unprocessed emotions related to her, you also probably have deeper emotional wounds that need to be addressed. First you've got to be ok with feeling all of your feelings. The only way out is through. I just used the technique in The Emotion Code by Dr. Bradley Nelson to completely clear my emotional body. I literally had to release hundreds of trapped emotions. Some were very difficult to allow, but I've never felt better in my adult life. I feel so much lighter. The best part is I got so proficient at it, there was a lot of emotions I could clear in about 20 seconds or so. It's worth checking out so you stop reliving the same emotional trauma over and over again.

But Leoooo, you said that enlightenment is easier to achieve with less distractions. Now you're saying to bring a +1?

Sadhguru, his humanity radiates so clearly I can't help but to aspire to that. Something I told the Universe some time ago, is that I want to be a shining example of a child of Creation finding the Divine spark within. I wasn't sure what path that meant at the time, but it seems since them I've been thrusted rather forcefully down this path towards self-realization. It's like the Universe is saying, "Well you asked for it." Sadhguru embodies that wish perfectly.

I'd be down for either Dallas or Austin, although I'm from Houston myself. So who would be the best to attend this? I mean I'm focused on spiritual growth, and someone else might be focused on their life purpose.

Check out the documentary Sensitive: An Untold Story. You might just be what they call a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). I know I am, and having a better understanding of how to interact with the world if you are a HSP could prevent getting too overwhelmed. If the depression has been going on for awhile, you're probably dealing with emotional trauma that you need to work through. Shadow work could help with that, it's helping me immensely. There's nothing wrong with feeling deeply, it's actually a gift that's usually misunderstood. It means you can understand things on a level that not everyone can. If you feel more deeply you are more susceptible to depression, but you are also able to experience positive emotions more deeply like joy and happiness. The documentary E-motion gives several tools to work through your emotional trauma from experts that are focused on raising the consciousness of the planet. If you do feel deeply you should definitely know how to properly process your emotions and how to catch anything that slips through the cracks.

One of the last LSD experiences I had was very focused around this. Everything showed it's true colors. Light beams passing through my window we're blowing my mind, how these particles were moving through space and time. I remembered a girl who grew from a very rough experience the day before, and I saw the perfection in the smile she had when she came out of it. It was so beautiful streams of tears were coming down my face. When I caught sight of one of the streams that moved to one of my arms, I watched it magically moving "downwards", the light bouncing off it reflecting the room from it's exterior, the complexity of the innate beauty of all of existence was like waves of mind blowing complexity crashing into my awareness. I looked out at the sky and it felt like Source was just giving me a glimpse of the true nature of creation, because if I got shown anymore it would've destroyed me. I think the most curious of humans probably saw this more clearly than others naturally, like Da Vinci. Anyone who barely felt that way wouldn't be able to stop themselves from exploring existence.

Sounds similar to energetic experiences I've had, but does he say anything about any aftereffects of the experience. He just mentions sensations.

This is what I was already leaning towards, if I'm out $100 or whatever it is, that would be worth testing them out. Not sure who said they were insanse. And no need to strawman by comparing a double digit poster on a forum to Leo in terms of credibility. And don't be so quick to dismiss a healthy level of skepticism.

This is what I was thinking.

So you are doing what exactly? And in person or over call? How do you know that your 'conversations' has an effect and it's not just inner work they've been doing?

As in projecting a thought into their mind, but since they are unaware such a thing can be done they think it's their own cowardice?