vanish

That's it. After i am done writing this i will grab my handgun and kill myself. I've written a note for my parents as i intent killing myself in the bedroom i grew up in. The atmosphere is perfect, it's rainy outside and very windy. It's dark and my bedroom is lit with this very low light bedside lamp. I put on Beethoven's moonlight sonata on a loop on a very low volume to enhance the very sad experience that will be experienced by my parents. I imagine them running in my bedroom after they hear the gunshot just to discover their son's body on the floor with blood all over the floor and a very emotional sound playing in the background. The rain outside will only amplify their sorrow. I am doing this because without them i couldn't even been writing this. I owe my death to my parents. It's because of their desire to experience sex that they will experience what it's like to see their son dead on the floor and blood leaking through the bedroom's door into the hallway. After this experience they will never have sex again, their lives forever be affected. I'm writing this here because i want to thank Leo for his amazing content he has produce over the years. Please save your comments to yourselves, let this thread be closed or junked, if there is no absolute right or wrong then it shouldn't matter. Anyways, Peace my brothers and Sisters ... See you on the other side!

In this thread we will be discussing both lifestyles from an objective standpoint without any bias. First we must understand what you are & what you are designed to be Your primary goal as a human being is to evolve, you've been doing this since your dad inseminated your mom, you've evolved from a simple sperm, an ejaculation into a vagina to a baby, to a kid , into a teenager and now into an adult. A seed that has grown into a tree. * Self-Improvement The default position and the one that seems the most wise is Self-Improvement. After all you're doing what your entire system is designed to want. Everything you're doing is to enhance your life and make it better. If you're feeling down it's because things are not going into your favor. In the self-improvement life you may do things that may make you suffer but it is done because you expect things to get better after the hardships. An example of this would be working out. It makes you suffer now but you will get the benefits later. Other men won't bother you physically, you will gain confidence , you will feel better , you will attract mates and you will be healthier. You meditate because you want to reach a certain state, you study because you want to understand and become wiser, more knowledgeable. You improve your vocabulary, your posture, your diet , your sex skills , your social skills and other various skills to become a wholesome productive self-driving self. You will be safe and secure and you will have the future covered. The same thing goes for going to school & getting a job/career. You will be stable, you will gain knowledge, your brain will develop and you will gain some form of confidence. You will develop a personality and that will be a healthy safe & secure YOU. You will be following the system and you will follow the orders that were imprinted into you as a human being. This path is wise , you will most likely live a long and healthy life. * The second option is Self-Destruction This option goes against pretty much everything which is why it's mostly adopted by people who have failed to self-improve themselves or that self-improvement for them is simply not an option or that the reward for their self-improvement will be very low. But if you consciously adopt this lifestyle and understand the full range of consequences that will follow from choosing this path then you will experience a life that not many people get to experience. Like self-improvement, self-destruction is not all black and white. There's varying degrees in which you can destroy yourself. But the main objective of someone who has chosen a self-destructive path is not success , heaven or enlightenment . A self-destructive person is not bound to anything other than destroying themselves through their lifestyles. These people will experience life in a way that the person that self-improves themselves will never be able to and will be able to take bigger risks, their lives will always be at stake and every moment will be new. They don't limit themselves in any way, ironically they may improve themselves just to destroy that improvement later on. This path seems devilish because it's egoistic in nature. You will might lose everything , you will probably never have children or a wife and if you've chosen this path you probably don't want those anyways. Your existence will not directly contribute to society, although a few books may be written about you after your death. Many people consider this the path of the devil, the path of resistance, the path of rebellion. Like i said, if chosen consciously then you are probably wiser than the self-improvement person.You refuse to partake in this giant cycle and instead you decide to destroy it by destroying yourself. You do as you wish, you live life truly as it was a movie and that you are the main character. You disregard other people's needs or wants to serve yourself. You might lie, steal , cheat and get involved into criminal activities. Laws will mean nothing to you as you do not care for your future, there's only the present moment that interests you. You will eat whatever tastes the best, completely disregarding if it's healthy for you in the long run, you might do drugs just for fun, you will furiously masturbate whenever you want, You will betray those who trust you if it serves you or amuses you, you will fuck the wifes of the people who improve themselves while they are at work, and your entire existence will be a giant mess, but you will have a life and have experienced life in a way that serves you in the present. You won't need to worry about anything as you will have realized that life is a dream, you might die young and that might be an attractive notion to you. Life will become a dream, you might sell your own mother for $10k usd just to fuck hookers for a few weeks and that's completely O.K . You don't care if someone beats you down and tries to change you, because you've consciously chosen this path and nothing will make you change. Your goal will be to spread this idea and damage the world as much as possible in every way, by getting jobs and not fulfilling your duties, by going to school and messing with people just for the sake of amusement. Life will be a playground without rules. You won't care about concepts like enlightenment or God , you will not meditate as your time here is designed for you to feel immediate pleasure. The self-destructive life may be considered Zen devilry. You might and will be kicked out by those self-improved masters who are very disciplined and you might even get beaten down by them. They will be Alexander the great and you will be Diogenes. But you won't care, if anything, you will laugh in their faces as they are jailing you or putting you into a mental ward. You will cause riots, piss and shit everywhere and make inappropriate jokes just to get a reactions from these mere mortals who are simply following their programming. Make your choice, enjoy life either way.

If i do a crime in real life i'll be punished after the fact, thus making the past real.

You're just playing with words, of course the past happened. Notice i said HAPPENED. I just printed out your profile picture and ejaculated on top of it, this happened because i'm currently looking at it and the sperm is starting to dry on top of the paper. Time is moving.

If anything i'm making people more awake by taking radical actions. The same way more people are into politics now because of Mr. Trump. Because of his craziness now more people are studying the political framework. Next week i'll walk across the sidewalk of an important street in my city completely naked, i'll probably make it to the news and i'll probably be put in a mental ward. I'll be like bigfoot, everyone will be staring at me like i travelled back from an ancient era. I'm literally laughing out loud at this extreme liberation, i can literally do what i want, all for the sake of making more people aware that their little problems are futile, this is a complete let go.

I'm not pussying out, quite the contrary, i'm facing death face-on. I never said i'd harm myself or others, just said i'll live life as it was a dream, i'm going to walk outside naked and do whatever the fuck i want. I literally don't care if i go to prison at this point, i'll just ask to be put in solitary and meditate there until i get out ( for public exposure ) . You have a very strong survival framework going on there, you sure you're okay on that bunny diet, remember you don't have free will :)! I just ate 4x cheeseburgers and masturbated 2x times. I'm not into videogames so i think i'll make paper planes and throw them out my window like i did when i was a kid. Oh and by the way, i showed my cock to my parents and they cried they thought i was going insane and when i said to my mom that she's no different than the coffee table and felt on knees and asked god to help me, i then just left with my small non-erect cock hanging out to avoid my dream-mom from felling more pain. I think i should make a blog for this, i wonder how many days ill last.

Buddy it's time to go full circle and start self-destroying yourself. Not everything has to be bliss. I know you're trying to help people with anxiety/ptsd/shitty lives overcome their problems by telling them there's nothing to worry about and trying to kill their conceptual little ''self' so they can go and live life without worry. Haha guys! life's just a dream! Then follow your teachings, i loved it when you posted that hitler meme as your weekly video. Go nuts, become scared, experienced psychedelics not to connect with god, but the devil. Are you afraid? He's part of this dream too I just dropped out of my job and told my boss that i jack off to horse porn and laughed like a maniac before leaving, he was scared shitless of the sudden change and he's the one calling me right now trying to get me back to come back to work. I'm strategically planning on what crazy thing i'm going to do next, maybe go to my parents house and start masturbating in front of them? Maybe even ejaculate in front of my mother and tell her she's no different than the coffee table.

There's no need to meditate at all after a certain point. I've been meditating for years now and i realized i'm wasting my time trying to improve myself. This thread is obviously not polished but i'm beginning to understand what i tried to express, we need to self-destroy ourselves after a certain point. I've mastered my diet, have a white collar job ( i'm a software engineer ) , fucked beautiful women , have eaten in fancy restaurants and have traveled to a few countries. I did a lot of self-work like dark retreats, psychedelics, contemplation and other stuff to try and master myself. I'm now 31 and i obviously know i haven't experienced everything, but this desire to always be striving to better myself has to turn into me destroying everything i've built. I'm going to quit my job, ditch my girlfriend and stop every self-improvement habits. Now i just need an elaborate plan on how to properly destroy myself, i think life is truly experienced in those moments.

Christopher Mccandless had a promising future, he was good looking and had everything most people here probably wishes for. He donated all of his savings and burned his pocket money and self-destroyed himself. That's true enlightement. Tyler Durden is a fictional character but it represents the idea very clearly, he has everything the narrator wishes, good looks, he gets women easily yet he doesn't improve himself. He steals a guys car, lives in an abandoned house and does whatever the fuck he wants. While the beta side ( the narrator ) strive to better himself by getting more material possessions and goes to cancer survivor meetings to practice meditation. This forum will have to go full circle and become a self-destruction forum in the future.

Leo has to stop beating around the bush & giving us theory and actually begin taking real life actions. Society goes 100% against the enlightenment agenda. Society pressures us into becoming slaves which is distracting us from our true potential in life which is connection with mother nature and living in the present moment doing what one truly wants. No laws, just pure unfiltered reality where one has no agenda other than experiencing the present moment and to explore earth and go on journeys. Everything you're doing in your current life is a distraction from experiencing and living an enlightened lifestyle. This lifestyle cannot be implemented in our current society. You think getting your trophy girlfriend, your dream job or the newest shiny new car will fulfill you? You think having the best diet in the world and doing fancy yoga poses will change anything? Leo, you think getting millions of subscribers and becoming a famous person in society will fulfill you? You need more money for those fancy retreats? You once said you want to be die happy on your dead bed in your 70's without any regrets. What is that? Just a mental projection of a concept. Seeking happiness through self-improvement is not the answer. We have to take real life actions otherwise this entire forum is just a circlejerk, people playing with words and never actually solving anything. This may seem neurotic but someone has to ground all this knowledge into a stone so real life actions can be taken. Leo, begin your touring and start something real. Actualized.org can become an underground group of people taking REAL life actions towards demolishing the very thing that is keeping us all unconscious. Otherwise i see no point in following you anymore, any attempts at self-improvement at this point is futile. Improving one self to contribute to the very system that is destroying us? I think this entire thing will go full circle, we've improved ourselves so much that we will actually begin to self-destroy and in that process, we will experience true life.

I experienced my own physical death on March 17th 2018 at around 9:30 PM GMT . I did not take any substance, here's how i did it. I fasted for 25 days prior this date, only drank water and locked myself in my room only allowing myself to use the internet 30 minutes a day for browsing this forum and 1h whenever leo would drop a new video. This room was pitch black and i meditated 80% of my waking hours. I did experience some hallucinations in the first week but nothing extraordinary. On march 17th i came out of my room and my entire body was shaky, i looked at myself in the mirror at almost jumped out of fright , i did not recognize myself. I then made a thread here and then i filled my bath with ice and cold water and i jumped into it. The body went into shock and i felt completely anesthetized. I couldn't move my body and this was the moment where i had no choice but to fully let go. I was screaming after being in for 2 minutes and my body began twitching, but i couldn't move and that added even more stress on the ego. I thought i would really die and that i had just had a stroke and so i fully let go and stayed in the bath for 20 minutes. My head slowly started dipping lower and lower, i was about to drown when i fully let go and my entire nervous system jumped out of the water by itself. I am now writing this knowing that this is not me who is writing this, but someone else. I am simply a witness of my life, i am not myself , writing this. I went outside and i see that i am not the one who's walking, who's interacting with other people or who is making any decisions. Someone is actually controlling this body and is making me witness all of this. He's even writing this thread and there's nothing i can do to prevent him from doing that. He picked every word and even decided when to make the thread.

Today on March 17th 2018, i will experience my own physical death. I will official unplug from everything and let myself die. I will be surrendering my own self to reality and experience the biggest mindfuck that probably exists. I will make another thread tonight if i decide to re-plug myself back and tell you guys how it went down and what lessons i've learnt from this experience.

You still seem attached to the material world, having friends, getting sex, having a job, getting food etc. If you had ever left the true matrix then those things wouldn't matter at all, you'd gladly leave yourself die from starvation before even thinking of plugging yourself back into the machine which is nothing more than chasing your own tail. I guess you're still very young and scared of what true enlightement/awakening means.

Do you rather get buried or cremated? Video of cremation :