AverageMonkey

@James123 Not simple enough! English is my 3rd language. HOW DO YOU FUNTION?? Do you think? Do you WANT anything? describe your state

@Shin I think it's not. Quite simple really. HOW DO YOU FUNCTION RIGHT NOW. <-------- Describe this.

No enlightened people here?

Sadhguru is a grifter, like most of the spiritual gurus.

I had an enlightenment experience few weeks ago, after it was over and ego came back, i guess it realized that it will not survive this journey. After that i got reeally depressed and went full unconscious, started eating unhealthy, stopped meditating, started to watch TV all the time and filled every silent moment with music..i guess the answer is just to face that fear and go back to meditating and self inquiry?

Hi all, So my problem is that i've been suffering with quite severy social anxiety and mild depression for most my life (im 20). I have never used any medication for it. One time i went to see a doctor, but they only told me things that i already knew and offered medication, so i declined and stopped going there. About 6 months ago i started to do meditation every day, first for 10-20 minutes, eventually 30-60 mins. I watched leos and other spiritual teachers videos everyday and started to get real progress. after few months of work i was really peaceful and saw trought my negative thoughts, but still i was anxious in social situations, but not nearly as much as before. Now a month ago i started at a new job, whitch is quite shitty factory job with low wage. It all went fine for a week or two, I was able to be present and was in pretty good mood, but i was so tired when i got home that i didn't have the energy to meditate so often. The past two weeks have been pure hell. I've been so anxious and negative, it's almost worse than ever before. I'm constantly lost in my thoughts. Now when i try to meditate, i'm really irritated and seem to have lost all the progress i made. All the consepts of enlightenment circle in my head and i'm so confused.

@MartineF I dont have any wishes really, your answers already helped alot with my situation . I try to do the same thing, but the mind is tricky maybe i need to raise my awareness little more to be able to do that trought the whole "bad" situation.

Thanks for all the replies !! @Corte Yes i see that now.. i though it would be easy to keep the same momentum with self growth as before, when i took the job. It's funny though, to see how different person i become when i stop working on myself for a short period. gladly this is only a summer job and ends in a few months. and yes it's been a blame game too, i could still do meditation every day if i had the will power, but many days it feels like its a battle in my head and the lazy stuff wins too often. @MartineF well, i have the problem of falling asleep very easily when meditating even if im well rested... and i work in two shifts so my sleep cycle never gets very good. Also the last month i had to always mentally force myself to meditate, which i never had to do before. I used to do strong determination alot, but now i've done only the easiest onces. For relaxation other than meditation i usually go for a run or just listen to music...etc @Holdup yeah this would be a total dead end job if i stayed there, but it's just for the summer so i can save some extra money for college where i hopefully start in fall. I'm going to study cyber safety, web development too @charlie2dogs Yes it's like before i used my mind and observed everything that happened and was peace with everything most of the time. But i think something triggered the "pain body" in me and the mind took over. I think i need to work on my identity alot also, in the last six months it's been mostly about raising my awareness and enlightenment work.

Die while you're alive and be absolutely dead. Then do whatever you want: it's all good. -Bunan