effy
Member-
Content count
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Joined
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About effy
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Rank
Newbie
Personal Information
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Location
spain
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Gender
Female
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@Erlend K im reffering to sound ingen recording mixing mastering and music production
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@Nahm thanks mate ,i will repeat those words evry morning ....
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i wake up i go out take coffee , i try to motivate to train via LYNDA.com audio engeniering , than negative toughts starts pòppin out. i quit in 30 min , aND START APLYING for jobs i wored all my life to avoid thoe little jobs that gives me no fulffilment , and i got trapped into the past , i feel resistence , RESISTANCE i go skate try to distract my self and i finish smokin a joint in the night and hate my self for it
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if you la ck self discipline , training in school is less emotionally painful than doin it alone ,
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i would be brave if i m takin actions , i just feel stucked
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i have a hard time dealing with confusion these days not sure what to do , what to decide i left my studies , mechanical engeniering , 3 semestres left to finish my degree so it was a hard decision i left my country to study in a small spanish village i didnt like and i was mentally unstable there during those 4 years i sacrficed my well being just so i can get degree , but at the end i couldnt anymore .... i finished gettin addicted to weed and anxiety problems .... now im stucked , and i can no longer pay the inscription fees so i moved to madrid to live with my aunt at least i have shelter and food i discovered during the lonely times in that village that i enjoy the music field more than mechanical one collectin music and blend it together , so i developped this curiosity for the audio masterfield but i have no idea how i can master that field alone , im dealin with selfdoubt , lack of material iim lost not sure if i can do it maybe i just come back to mechanical field when i can pay the inscription h i just wanna deal with THfE I DONT KNOW fact and not resisting it i never played intrument before , im 26 years old and feel like i messed up my life i feel guilty
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@Metody i think we share similar goals ....... if you want we can share our experiences....
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DJING, produce hip hop RAP track in morrocco where females got bullied for that , build a record store label to help young people expres tem self by music , HELP POOR PEOPLE IN THE WAY I THINK THATS MY LIFE PURPOSE , but im struggling to shift my mechanical engeneering carrer to make music , i deal with selfdoubts a LOT.....
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Europe soon please, interacting with you in a face to face lecture is more interesting than videos, in my humble point of view
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effy replied to Truth Addict's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I relate to you so much, once I started studying with Leo 's content I discovered a lot about truth and the message of QURAN more than when I was actually living in a Muslim culture, I began to grasp little by little the meaning rather than this Halal haram approach, I get in touch with the inner rational and irrational part that I feel with my heart and try to understand with my mind, and all I can say is thank you leo your impact in me is BIG -
effy replied to MarkusSweden's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
hello my friend i was amazed by your writing . i miss Azhan as im Muslim studyin abroad in spain i just see that you can actually digg a litlle more you miss a point , dont dettach the text from the context i as im a Muslim still get trigerred sometimes to actually get in touch with the meaning there is a field in islamic approach that called YIHAD its a long life leraning process to actually think and questionate the meaning of the verses here is some material if you want to get started peaceeeeee -
Miercoles 21:32 21 febrero Hello this is samar , im 25 years old , so i have been living in this planet earth for a quarter century NOW its pretty BIG IS it ,when you look at it that way but until today ive been struglling with writing ,every time i pull my pen and initiate the writing work , i felt this mess of ideas in my head then a feelin of nasty disconfort start quickin in my chest as i hold the pen i feel like a defense mechanism is activated that makin me quit as soon as i formulate the first sentences , im thinkin roughly if what i will write explains really my state if MY EYES WILD OPEN gonna be okay to see my deepest FEARS and all my useless daily ruminations TOMMOROW write down in a piece of paper so i ll get back to get lost in MY own head Despite my ANXIETY , im gonna start today NOT TOMMOROW I SAID NOW..... sick of this CHILDLICH game that my mind is playin on me , i feel stucked for 2 years in a ROW , sure there have been UPS and DOWNS a rollercoaster of bad emotions kept going full circle yeah A VICIOUS CIRCLE confusion and uncertainty fools me , i cannot lomger have a clear vision of what my purpose in life is i GUESS i never figure it out actually just randomly reacted to whatever experiences life had offered of me i no longer have interest in mechanical engeneering but only 3 semesters LEFT I miss the flow state , my capacities of concentration are weak noow i know that smokin pots is the number one cause at makes me feel DIZZY ALL DAY come on stop listng all your defaults shut up little voice i love you anyway WOW .... i relate to you so much as i start forcing my self to journal ANY HELP SORRY FOR my bad ENGLISH ,im tryin to get better I ACTUALLY MADE IT TROUGHT WRITING THIS COMMENT , baby steps go gog go go