This

I wonder who is this 'you' he keeps referring to in his videos? An ex-girlfriend? Dad? Mom? A bully at school? It just sounds so bitter to me

Can there be multiple different things that cannot be talked about or is the thing that cannot be talked the only thing that cannot be talked about? Can there be multiple different unknowns? Or multiple different things that have nothing to do with anything? I don't know if my apparent questions have anything to do with your apparent questions

Yes, this is inescapable, and i agree. But i also see attempting to teach or reach it can be kind of a trap

I feel like the whole enlightenment thing is about projection and comparison. I hear or read about a person (Eckhart tolle in my case) who has found some sort of blissful or peaceful state and start to compare my own experience to the descriptions of their experience without realizing that there's nothing wrong with the state i'm in and try to meditate and be more present and read and search how i can get to the state i imagine they are in. All i have in the end is whatever experience i'm having which includes some descriptions of what the experience for others seems to be and no way of knowing if there's "enlightenment" here or there. Also, i think that no matter how many spiritual or philosophical books i read or videos i watch there can never be a satisfying answer to anything, i could go on forever questioning everything: "what about this what about that, i'm this i'm that" etc. Leo thinks too much of his thinking

I had a strange game in an online fps game many years ago, every first shot i took was a headshot and it was like i knew what i was doing even though i had no idea how i did it. A sense of peace and contentment and i felt like i was just shooting bots It happened after i got home to my girlfriend from a drinking spree and got sober, i had this strange sensation of everything being allright and not having to get anywhere which i then tried to achieve again but it later on dawned on me that the state of not having to get anywhere isn't gotten by trying to get somewhere.

I sometimes like to think about time travel and how impossible it sounds. It seems to me like if i wanted to travel back to yesterday for example, i would have to have the data of how everything was yesterday saved somewhere like a system restore point in Windows and a machine that could somehow restore everything back to the way it was yesterday and it would serve no purpose because my brain would revert back to the same "settings" it had yesterday. I find it fascinating to think that everything is happening the only possible way it could be happening. Everything is changing as i'm typing this. Even if i thought everything could be happening differently that thinking would be what is currently happening.

I wanted to find this thing called enlightenment or peace through massive effort. Trying to monitor everything in my head and all my actions and at some point i realized when i was drinking booze with my friend i sort of remembered who i was when i wasn't trying to get anywhere. All that effort to get somewhere and trying to be more present and whatever started to feel like madness. ?

Honest Trailers - The Happening

I've found it to be very effective to listen to sounds that are coming from the television "inside my head" essentially replacing my thoughts with them. This also cured my anxiety of crowded places with lots of people, just listen to all the sounds in your head and look around because that's all there ever is. Giving attention to thinking seems to make everything worse

We are just different shapes/forms that produce different sounds and move around differently. Why we tend to get more angry for the sound or form of the sentence "your mother is fat" or "you're fucking stupid" than the sound/form of leaves rustling in the wind or the sound/form of rain? Jokes are also just long sounds that these forms produce and do something called "laughing" at? This form on this form called a "computer chair" is "moving" and another form appears on the "screen"? Should've quoted every word. lol.

Contemplating on the question "what is this?" (pointing to current experience) was very profound to me. I don't/can't know anything. Or "if there's no self, then who's sitting here?"

Why should there be some special way a person should act or be after this so-called "enlightenment"?