This

Yes! Fun is more fun! I've noticed that the thoughts don't even do anything outside of themselves. I can for example walk and think about standing still. Or cook food and think about videogames, or cook food and think that i'm not cooking. Thoughts don't matter, they don't touch anything.

I've had a similar experience in front of a mirror, ~three years ago. I was washing hands, and as i lifted my gaze from my hands to the mirror, i saw an empty impersonal animal staring back. Chills went from my ass to the top of my head and i ran to bed, afraid to look at any more mirrors that night. And the next day, everything went back to normal.

I think it might have something to do with pattern recognition. We tend to think that numbers like 11:11 and 12:12 etc. are less random than numbers like 12:43 and 10:37. I often see 11:11 in my alarm clock or phone. Another one i always notice is 13:37, or 1337, which means leet or elite. ?

I've had 2-3 maybe one second long experiences where it was like i was seen as empty and impersonal and meaningless as an ant or a bug of some kind(hard to describe), and even though it seems to me that i'm using my thinking to make sense of the world, my thinking/internal monologue was somehow also seen as empty and meaningless and erroneous. And the sense of emptiness had a familiar "taste" to it. Too bad these experiences only last for a few seconds and then everything goes back to "normal". And often when these type of experiences happen i can't help but try to remember them for a while. These usually happen out of the blue. Once it happened when i was walking in the forest with my dog and i was playfully imagining that my body left a trail of color in the air where i walked and boom, suddenly everything was seen as empty and impersonal(for a second). I don't know what to make of these experiences or whether they are mystical or not, but i found them a bit frightening, amazing, mysterious and familiar.

For me it was like i had successfully lied to myself that i needed to get into a special state of mind which i projected onto people who were talking about nonduality. I was looking for something which i can recognize as "this is it" or "freedom from me", before i can continue enjoying life. I was looking for something i thought i once knew but had lost. This isn't everything yet -> this isn't everything yet -> this isn't everything yet -> maybe this is already everything -> why would anyone talk about this?

Someone who's really into this consciousness stuff might for example chop onions in the kitchen and the narrative would be "all this is is consciousness" "i'm only imagining i'm cutting onions" "i'm god" "i'm enlightened" "i'm stage blue". Sounds silly. But then again, thinking "what to do next weekend" or "i'm chopping onions" seems just as irrelevant to the actual chopping of onions. I don't know if i made any sense at all

I feel that words like "infinity" and "enlightenment" and "consciousness" are just empty buzzwords. Of course it depends on the context. And meditation for me is like regular sitting except there are stories in the head about meditation and about observing thoughts and how quiet my mind is.

There you go! ?

And here we go again with low and high levels of consciousness and how some activity is a waste of time and some other activity isn't. I must have a level of consciousness of a snail because all this talk of levels and hallucinations and awakenings just doesn't ring any bells for me. ?

I like to think that when i die, all of this will disappear and i won't be there to know that i ever existed or that anything ever existed. Not anything i do while alive will have any effect on my own nonexistence.

She looks so serious and focused hahaha! Oops. Please don't think me to death, i didn't mean it.

The secret of magical infinite enlightenment crap -part was perfectly clear but "white magic" wasn't? I'm sorry, it was a joke. It must've been a bad one.

I actually transformed into a white mage. It happened over night right after i realized the magical secret of ultimate infinite enlightenment.

Or: How to convince myself that i've reached an imaginary goal?

This made me do the laughter technique. It's funny that prior to learning about spirituality, doing nothing is just doing nothing. After learning about spirituality, doing nothing is a technique.

I think the statement "I could've done otherwise"(related to the idea of free will) is just speculation, a fantasy, it can't be proven to be true. Similarly to what Mason Riggle said, i think that free will = no destiny, no free will = destiny. I don't use the word destiny, unless i'm joking or being sarcastic. It sounds a bit woo woo to me.

Being aware of the risk of going crazy, i tried ~2,5g of golden teacher mushrooms. I got cold and started to yawn, the floor seemed higher than usual, and i saw cool colors and patterns while my eyes were closed. Then i wanted to go to sleep because i wanted it to be over quickly. Only insight i got out of that was that being sober feels so much better than shivering and yawning

I sometimes play with simple thoughts like "now i'm going to raise my arm" and proceed to not raise my arm, and "now i'm going to raise my arm" and raise my arm, and try to see what the difference is. I think the thought in which i try to lie to myself about rising my arm already tells me that i'm not going to raise my arm. I can't trick myself if i know i'm going to trick myself I also don't subvocalize while i'm reading, it seems to slow my reading down when i try it. I've noticed that if i sing in my head, i can feel the muscles in my mouth doing something.

Why do you need to understand this? I don't always understand why i like certain things and not other things. I mean, i can get horny from sucking/licking both vaginas and penises but i don't see the need to explain to myself or anyone else why that is.

Well, obviously im not a finger, duh!

I remember i used to think as a teenager in school philosophy class that questions like "who am i?" or "what am i?" are boring and useless. Then at some point about 10 years later those questions seemed very deep and meaningful to ask and now those questions are seen to be boring and useless and a waste of my time again. Playing videogames, listening to music, walking outside, watching netflix, are all more fun and interesting than asking myself who am i.

Consciousness is a word, i'm not a word.

Microwave goes *bling!* and i get up from the chair to get the food.

7.00 AM in Finland