Preety_India

@bejapuskas you are a good guy. I don't mind anything. Just beware of bad people. And I hope you meet good people in life and everything turns out for the better. Boundaries always help. And also intuitively reading people. Sometimes people aren't as bad as we judge them to be. Hugs

@Leo Gura maybe you can add a toggle option on the top of your site for both normal and dark mode. Just giving you a suggestion. Will be helpful for most readers who can't have automatic dark mode. Because I have to read and watch tons of stuff on whole site including this forum. Can you please do it? Please.

@Ayham it works for other sites. But this site doesn't appear dark even after enabling it.

@DefinitelyNotARobot I'm using android and it's not working for me.

Also there are a billion people in India. You think that a billion people are going to be scammers?

In India you will have a lot of scammers. That's like super common. The most common experience for me as an Indian is being scammed. But over time you find people who aren't scammers especially those who are more grounded and simple. India is not a place where you will suffer terribly. Just minor stuff.. Other countries can be much more terrible in terms of safety because they use guns. In India people don't use guns. So you are not gonna be murdered.. You'll be fine if you made friends with some good Indian folks.. Depends on who you connect with. Please don't generalize. Just learn who to connect with and I'm sure you will have a pretty decent experience.

My third boyfriend Joseph December 2019. In November, I had began to feel like Joseph was acting aloof. I was quickly able to figure out why.. This was the first time I could see Joseph's narcissistic side. He was being a sadistic opportunistic narcissist. Joseph wanted to cut me out of his life. He had found a new job. He thought he could find someone better than me. He wanted to distance himself from me. I could sense it. This was also the first time I began to seek help on the forum regarding this relationship. We broke off during this period. This was my 6th attempt to break off with him. I thought I would never get back with him again. It was November last week and Joseph had gotten into a tense argument with a woman at the program. She had complained to the authorities about Joseph's abusive behavior and they decided to let him go. Joseph lost his job. In this state of panic and frustration, he remembered the only one person who always stood by him. Me. He began texting me again. And we got back again.

My third boyfriend Joseph November 2019. Joseph was evicted again and he began to live in a homeless shelter. They had launched a job program there called farestart, a cooking job. I encouraged Joseph to join it. I was happy for him. The program had a lot of benefits. They would provide free accommodation and free food for those who did well. Joseph could have saved up on his welfare earnings.

October 2019 Joseph tells me that he is about to be evicted again probably because of his jail record.

Nothing is ever perfect. Your first relationship is never going to be the most perfect or ideal anyway. In relationships it's like the phrase "failures are the stepping stones to success." For most people, at 90% people, their first relationships are just plain boring or rough or toxic and Usually teach them important lessons. You could even have wonderful first time relationships but even there are going to be unexpected jolts. Relationships are like a learning curve. More is less. The more you learn, the more you suffer, the faster you learn, the better it gets. But you shouldn't be wasting your time either with people who aren't meaningful to you or waste time waiting for the perfect one. If you are looking for a monogamous stage blue relationship that leads to a stable marriage that's quite hard these days. You rarely bump into someone with the same ideals. Most people don't even want marriage. If you just want a long term relationship, then choose wisely and keep hunting. It's not about losing virginity or finding the perfect one. It's more like an elimination process. You need to be quick at eliminating people who don't get along with you or don't fit your criteria. So as soon as you see the girl playing mind games with you, no matter how attractive she is, just drop her immediately. Find the next one who really wants to belong. Don't remain stuck with people who argue too much, create mayhem, don't really care about you, play mind games, cheat on you, treat you bad, constantly fight, use you for something, aren't sexually desirable..... Delete such people and move on to those who give you a healthy experience. Even if you find the perfect perfect relationship, it's not gonna last. Don't expect so much. It doesn't work like the movies. There may or may not be a happily ever after. Be content with what you get as long as it's healthy and keeps you happy instead of constantly being "I can do better than this." Have a mentality that relationships are worth having as long as they don't interfere with your main goals and be ready to experience a few to get over all your hangups.

August/September 2019 I befriended a heart patient from the US and I showed him my medical reports. And told him everything about Joseph. He told me, "if you continue with this relationship you'll end up dead at some point. You need to get away from that guy. You're not his nursemaid and he shouldn't be using you." That was a massive awakening.

June/July 2019 I got back with Joseph. This is also the time when I checked into a hospital for chest pain and found that I had heart issues and the doctors told me that some sort of stress is causing this. They told me to work on the stress that was impacting me.

June 17th Joseph was furious because I was trying to leave him. He spewed out a ton of expletives and kept calling me a bitch a dozen times. It was like a case of Tourette. He then told me that he had a bottle of depression pills. And he hasn't been taking them. I thought he would overdose on the pills.. So I told Joseph to calm down a bit and he wouldn't. Finally I relented to his suicide threats and told him that I'm back with him. I didn't want him to harm himself. I thought more about his well being than mine.

Hmm. Lost a ton because of the server crash

Why did you remove the profile Pic?

She is so right on Borderline Personality Disorder. I almost cried.

@VioletFlame so much love back to ya. Thank you so much for your healing words.

Should anyone with diabetes try this?

@Jan Trautwein if you say much love to me, Maybe try emphasizing with my difficulties Healing is tough. Saying that healing is easy is raising the bar where I can't reach it even if I jumped as high as possible You're causing a blatant disservice to people like me. You see that?

Bro. Healing is difficult. Much much difficult. I'm a trauma victim and I fully agree with Leo because it applies to trauma victims like me. Leo understands people better than people understand themselves.

@Proserpina please take care of yourself. You are in my prayers.

@Proserpina I'm here if you want to talk. I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

What's your zodiac sun sign?

@Proserpina totally get ya. I'm digging into some lounge ambience as well. It does bring a difference to general mood I noticed.

@NickH nice.