Preety_India

Him : Babloo I love you. I love you too. You are my protector. I feel like a child around you.

This journal was my dream.

You teach me so many beautiful things. Iove you deeply. I want you more than anything. I think of you all the time and I love loving you. I can't "not think" of you. You're the only one I gave my pussy to. I love you ever more. I can't live without anymore. It's hard for me. I come back to you after I go around. Because you are the only one who attracts me. My heart is on you. And they say home is where the heart is. Well. My heart is with you. (gosh I'm so tired) I'm gasping for breath. But but... I love you. Even when I'm dying I'll say the same words, that I love you and only you and no other. I.. I..... I have found my home in your heart. I can't be anywhere else now. You have stolen me from myself. You have my heart. You snatched me. Now I cannot live without you. You teach me so many things. I keep learning. I accept your every word. I am emotionally attracted to you. I'm sexually attracted to you. I'm mentally attracted to you.. I feel you in my every breath. You teach me about life, world. Everything. I'm mad about you. I have been living in a different state of consciousness since you. You take me to a different world a nice world a peaceful world. I fucking love you. And I can't resist. Even if I am dying, my spirit still wants you I have reached that point of no return with you. I'm absolutely besotted.

@Max_V sends you a big sweet hug.

Whatever you do to me, it's madness, insanity. You kiss and touch my every part. You play with my body. You make me feel dirty and yet not dirty. I liked how you nibbled my ears. And then you placed your hand on my throat and your kept nibbling on my ear.. I could feel the grip of your fingers on my skin. Going deep, almost dipping into my skin, making an impression. Then you gave me a hickey on my neck. Mhmm. You whispered into my ears - "I love you." Then you turned me to the side and promptly kissed my cheeks. Hehe..

He was probably the most prolific pedophile to have existed in human history or at least in the pop industry. He had a long rap sheet if you study the details. He was also the most manipulative celebrity that ever existed. He could Mass manipulate people in the name of love. He was an opium. This is what happens when love is taken too far and turned into a propaganda rather than a genuine gesture.

I hope you watch the video Leaving Neverland. And don't watch it once. I firmly believe that he was a pedophile. Just way too many accusations and testimonials from witnesses. He was a mega celebrity so stuff got covered up, typical Hollywood. Too many skeletons.

Hahahahahahahaha HahahahahahaHahahahahahahaha Hahahahahahahaha Hahahaha Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Hahahahahahahaha HahahahahahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha You are so brainwashed.

@Arthogaan gives you a big loving hug and sends you a kiss.

Wasn't Michael Jackson a pedophile? I definitely don't like such humans.

@Arthogaan another song that makes me feel love. My heart is like an open highway....

@Someone here Lmao if you consider intimacy as base. Intimacy needs the highest form of love for it to be palpable.

@Arthogaan I like that song.

Infinite intimacy with another human.

Your love is like magic. You gave me so much love. You grabbed me and brought me to the forest You have a cabin there. A wood cabin. You placed me on the floor. In the woods Then you kept penetrating me till I orgasmed. You placed your hands on the back of my neck and gently lifted me to your face and stared deeply into my eyes I never felt like this before. You did not just fuck my vagina. You fucked my heart. You fucked my mind. You fucked my soul. You fucked my spirit. You fucked my essence. How could you not see it? I have nothing else to give you. I have absolutely nothing except a beating heart in my chest that allows me to live. I gave this heart to you. I gave my soul to you. I gave my spirit to you. I surrendered to you. Now you do as you please and I won't complain.. I belong to you. Only to you and none other.

Love wants nothing more than to be one with the object of love. I want nothing more than to become one with you Separation would feel like death. Killing me, if that satisfies you in some way, then go ahead and kill me. Why don't you?

Bump

You were looking into my eyes and telling me how much you love me and how much I mean to you.

@Arthogaan my logic is a bit screwed to say the least

@Arthogaan @Arthogaan I don't operate on logic at all. I took the logic test today and my results on logic are dismal. Results: Rational Ability = 28 / 50 Rational Engagement = 33 / 50 Experiential Ability = 47 / 50 Experiential Engagement = 48 / 50 I have BPD. Reckful had Bpd and he felt terrible for being removed from the World of War craft. People with Bpd are very emotionally fragile and mentally fragile and can be easily controlled. I get easily controlled in a relationship. I lose sense of boundaries and give my power to my abuser to feel safe which is a false sense of safety. My attachment to my abuser is my safety. My logic is generally very poor. I'm not an INTP. I'm an INFJ. I predominantly operate on intuition, my psychic powers and feelings in the environment. I don't use logic at all or barely. Recently I have tried using logic but it generally conflicts with my emotions I have an emotional brain and my logic is generally emotional logic. I usually look for a guy who leads me and follow his instructions. That's love for me. If a guy cannot abuse or control or punish/discipline me, I don't feel love. But there's a twist. I will find intimacy in his abuse/punishment only if he balances it with intimacy and affection, then I won't mind whatever else (bad stuff) he does to me. If he established trust into me by protecting me against an external aggressor and did not separate me from himself, then I will consider it as love. In other words he cannot have empty control over me, his power, control should be compensated by protection and affection/intimacy and making me belong to him Abuse situations lead to Stockholm Syndrome. I developed Stockholm Syndrome as a child so I would ask for permission to do little things from my abuser. It gradually expanded to me sympathizing with the abusive pattern and begging for love in it in order to survive it. Abusers carry a distinct dynamic in the sense they simply cannot control the victim without offering anything in return. In order to gain the trust of the victim and to gain the favor of the victim, they have to protect the victim sometimes and also periodically give them affection to let them stay. They use a set of alternating tricks of punishment and love to keep the victim hooked along with giving them a false sense of protection. It's a confusing warped dynamic that keeps the victim attached to the abuser. Either the protection from the abuser is real or perceived. For me as a bpd it's a matter of trust. When I reach extraordinary trust level, hook point is reached and now the person can do whatever they want. Normally I don't trust people so I push them away. But the abuser personality people have special mental tricks to gain trust, one method is extreme intimacy and prolonged attachment and protective role. I'm not able to differentiate between abuse and love and because of my BPD, I have severe Abandonment anxiety, which means Abandonment would appear worse than abuse, it would be better to be abused rather than being abandoned by the abuser. My boundaries were broken as a child and I was never taught what respect meant. As a result if a man behaved disrespectful in a relationship, I would not be able to be sensitive to it, I would simply swallow it and still consider his mistreatment as love.

A man recently told me that he will choke me to death if he made love to me. For some reason I did not feel a single ounce of fear about it. I began giggling wildly like a child. And I felt excited instead of threatened. In my mind I trusted him so implicitly, that my mind doesn't want to think that he can/could kill me. Even if I was losing my life the very last minute, I would be bewildered that I'm actually dying or that he is killing me. I don't know what to call this phenomenon. But I can't bring myself to believe that someone that I love can harm me or want to harm me. Because my trust reached extraordinary levels with this person. I fell fast asleep like a baby even as they were talking about harming me.

*goes back to normal living because I don't want to end up in a mental asylum after thinking that everything is love. Too much bending of perception. Nope.

@axiom maybe I'm unlovable because of my selfishness

@axiom no no no no no.. I can't do it. I want to survive. Maybe I can love person unconditionally, but not everyone. What you're asking for is impossible for me to do

No. I don't agree with this at all. I don't want to see what a person's intentions are if his actions aren't benefitting me in any way. How I interpret things is solely up to me. If it hurts, it hurts. Anything apart from it, I would take it as gaslighting.