Preety_India

@Something Funny I stopped dating Indian guys at some point because they would shame me too much especially sexually and otherwise, they were too insecure to deal with. I suffered terribly so I stopped dating them. I moved on to western men but I didn't have sex. One reason being that the repression still wasn't out of me. It's deeply ingrained. Joseph was my third boyfriend (a white American dude who I met in America) but I refused to have sex with him because I did not want to lose my virginity. I wanted to keep it for the man I wanted to marry. I was close to thinking that Joseph would be my husband until his ex wife told me about his violent tendencies. He got arrested the same year for threatening to kill his landlord. He was in jail. That's when I dropped all plans to marry him. I would have allowed Joseph to have sex with me if he were to be the guy I was gonna marry but that did not happen and the plan derailed. Plus Joseph was very abusive and I wasn't sure if I really wanted him to be my life partner back then. I still tried my best to hang on to him, although I was deeply unhappy with him, until I discovered his cheating and I broke things off immediately after that discovery. Cheating is not something I can take. Next is Marcel, but that was on the forum so it was an online relationship. That fizzled due to personal reasons, my anger issues etc. Next was a short term online relationship that was nice but it fizzled. So total 5. Joseph was the first guy who kinda encouraged me to open up sexually and not feel shamed to think about sex. And then Marcel was encouraging too. My Sexual repression was partially healed by Joseph and Marcel. And the last guy. If it were for Indian boyfriends, I probably would have never experienced what it means to have a proper orgasm and never said a word on sex because with Indian guys it would be a completely no no. They would shame me for it. Orgasms can be experienced even without sex, that is by masturbation. I don't remember orgasming with any of the two Indian exes I had. I never had sex because it was in my head this traditional cultural belief that I should preserve myself for the man I truly love and want as a life partner. But I'm trying to work around this belief that premarital sex is not a bad idea. For so long I thought I would never have premarital sex and I never had. My mom had told me strictly that I would disappoint her badly if I had premarital sex. So it was a deep belief for me and it still is.

@Someone here Lmao you completely lost my point. If women in a culture are sexually shamed/repressed, dating will be very difficult. You can't ask out a girl because no girl would say yes. If you want to marry a girl, that's quite easy in India, you simply have to be associated with some matrimonial service and they will find the girl you want. But you can't get an Indian girl to just date. No girl would be ready for that. Because for Indian women, there is no incentive to dating a man, it's a loss or a bad bargain socially speaking. So most girls will reject you. A girl will only say yes if you propose to her. But you have to be sincere about it or else it would be considered as you taking advantage of her. In simplest words, Indian girls aren't looking for a boyfriend, they are looking for husbands. They are not secure or sexually free enough to have a boyfriend. I hope you got my point..

@Someone here Lmao you completely lost my point. If women in a culture are sexually shamed/repressed, dating will be very difficult. You can't ask out a girl because no girl would say yes. If you want to marry a girl, that's quite easy in India, you simply have to be associated with some matrimonial service and they will find the girl you want. But you can't get an Indian girl to just date. No girl would be ready for that. Because for Indian women, there is no incentive to dating a man, it's a loss or a bad bargain socially speaking. So most girls will reject you. A girl will only say yes if you propose to her. But you have to be sincere about it or else it would be considered as you taking advantage of her. In simplest words, Indian girls aren't looking for a boyfriend, they are looking for husbands. They are not secure or sexually free enough to have a boyfriend. I hope you got my point..

MAY 28 SATURDAY, 2022 So first time the demon appeared was on April 25. But I couldn't clearly see them. It was May 15th when I saw blurred images of the demon and the name whispered was Lawson. And sometimes John. It was on May 18th that their face became clearer to me and I used the clues and found them. That is the same day when they said a fuck ton of sexual things to me. And told me to wear a black bow. But I used to wear a black bow even before that. They told me that they liked whenever I wore a black bow. I suffered great degree of emotional stress during this time. I was consumed with total panic and fear. I felt cornered and isolated and threatened. And on May 21st, I took a ton of caffeine to deal with all the emotions. My bpd was kicking in really badly on May 21st. Because I was scared of all these demonic dreams. In one of the dreams (or nightmares) the demon put his hands around my neck and choked me. The demon released me from his hold when I was about to pass out. Today is May 28

Pazuzu Entity D. Leader Lawson All are same. They even took the role of Robson (name changed) They even called themselves the PRINCE OF DARKNESS.

There's a lot of hypocrisy in this post. Sad. I'm an Indian girl and meanwhile I acknowledge the problems you encounter dating an Indian woman, you completely miss how the situation looks to an Indian woman and why they act in a way not suiting your dating needs First things first. The situation is not created by women. The situation is created by Indian Patriarchy. And who runs Indian Patriarchal Social SYSTEM? INDIAN MEN.... LOL So let's look at this in depth. If I wore a skirt and lipstick, a bunch of men (Indian men) on the street will give me weird looks and might tell their guy friends that I'm a SLUT. So basically I have zero freedom to express myself sexually because everytime I do I get shamed and labelled as a slut. As a woman I also have sexual needs. No???? Most Indian men don't even think that a woman can have sexual needs. My first Boyfriend who was Indian (unfortunately) asked me why I masturbate and told me that girls don't masturbate or shouldn't masturbate. I was like....okkk? So basically according to the average Indian man, my sexual needs are zero and if I ever expressed a sexual desire, I'm either a Slut or a prostitute or a whore. So basically my sexual needs are terribly repressed since expressing my sexual needs means that I must be a whore. In western countries they don't demonize a woman for their sexual needs. BIG DIFFERENCE. Next. If I have a boyfriend, an Indian guy will automatically assume that I have bad character. Omg she has a boyfriend, Jesus Christ, how dare she!!!!!!!!! You Indian men want a girl who never had a boyfriend. How is that even possible? Is she not supposed to fall in love? And why not? So when I told my second Indian boyfriend that he was my second boyfriend, he looked at me with raised eyebrows, and said "if you had told me that you had a boyfriend before, I would have had second thoughts about dating you." I was like, what???????? Because as per his expectations, I'm supposed to be a virgin and only then I'm pure and holy in his eyes. I'm a fucking virgin.... That's why. I never had sex, because guess what. An Indian man would consider me undesirable and impure if I had already slept or lost my virginity. Does this ever happen in western countries??? But somehow Indian men are so so special that Indian women have to preserve their virginity for them or else any woman who lost her virginity is "damaged goods." A big fucking Sarcastic LOL. In India, I feel persecuted, shamed, guilted for simply being a woman with female needs. I also have sexual needs. I also get horny. But my horniness gets demonized by your so called Indian Patriarchy created by Indian men for their own selfish goals of preserving all women as virgins for themselves and now it's coming to bite them in the ass because women in my culture don't feel sexually free. The only people who put effort so far to feel sexually open are Indian women themselves. Women are daring to go out party and wear provocative dresses. It's the men who hold them back. It's the women who are desperately trying to liberate themselves from this sexual slavery enforced by your dearest Patriarchy. I got sexually assaulted by your dear Indian men for simply being sexually open. That's the price I've to pay everyday for expressing my sexuality. The reason an Indian woman wants you to propose to her is because your beautiful patriarchal society will insult, shame and mock her for not getting a husband, they will call her damaged goods if she lost her virginity to a man but failed to secure him as a husband. That's why she doesn't want a man without committing to marriage, since she has to pay a heavy social cost for agreeing to just be your girlfriend. If people find out that she was someone's girlfriend and that guy didn't marry her, her chances of ever finding a husband are gone forever because no guy will marry her, thanks to your patriarchy again. That's why for social dignity and survival, she has to ensure that the guy who loves her is totally committed to marrying her or risk living her entire life in anonymity, and as a single woman deemed unfit/unmarriageable and unworthy by society. Western women don't lose the chances of getting a husband just because they dated a few men or had a few boyfriends. But that's not the case for an Indian woman. She has to prove that she is this innocent pure virgin to get a husband. This automatically discourages her from wanting a boyfriend or saying "yes" to a man. Even an Indian woman can have fun with you if she weren't so pathetically shamed for losing her virginity. So before you blame Indian women, learn to take a look at the society created by men that regularly shames women for having sexual needs. If you shame and repress women sexually, you won't have sexually free women, are you surprised that Indian women are difficult to date?? Are you surprised that they are hesitant in dating men? Not only that. India has low safety for women and extremely high crime rate - rapes and gangrapes are the most common crimes in India. Because of which most women feel unsafe. Plenty of indian women who get raped when they date a stranger, the newspapers are full of such stories. In such circumstances, if an indian woman even remotely trusted an Indian man, that in itself would be a miracle. I'm an Indian woman, I live this reality everyday No thank you.

I googled and found out that the demon is pazuzu.

The demon told me that his name was Lawson. And that he had taken the mantle of the guy Robson who had attempted to rape me in the park in March last week. That sick evil person who was very manipulative and emotionally destructive to me. He had been with me for a week during the last week of March and had playing mind games with me. This demon looked like this. They had a beard. I know this person. I saw this person in my dreams and they made Satan signs to me. They also told me there was nothing to worry. They also told me that I'm the wife they had been looking for. To which my reaction was "wtf......" Then they called me babygirl. I was kinda pissed. But they assured me that they aren't hurtful in any way. He winked at me and said "fun fun." This demon came in my dreams many times throughout the second week of May. So this is how it began. This demon first materialized in my dreams since April 25. They first appeared as a cold breath on my neck. They put me in a state of calm and told me to call them Entity D and gave me a rose. At the time I didn't think much of it. I began Satan meditation on April 29 exactly. I did the Satan hand sign to invoke Satan. I'm not sure if this demon encouraged me to do that. This is the hand sign I did. And with that I began Satan meditation since April 29. But I did not find it harmful. In fact it was useful in many ways.

Duhhhhhh. I'm not scared of demons and ghosts.

May 28 So I downloaded a few apps to get a grip on this paranormal phenomenon happening to me. I downloaded an ouija board and played it and asked a few questions to the board and it said "hello." I think the demon said hello. Screenshot of the app. The app is called Spiritum. Then I downloaded an app for ghost detection and it detected an entity in my room towards the kitchen area I took a screenshot of my home where it detected the entity. First the app directed me to walk around the entire house which I did. Then it detected the entity near the kitchen.

Since April 25,i have been acting very strange. I have noticed. Then the entire month of May was strange, super weird and strange. Things in my room have been falling off on their own without any wind or force toppling them... I feel like my house is under poltergeist attack.

I don't know whether this demon is good or bad but it seems they wish to communicate with me. They told me once that they like my company and they feel good while hanging out with me. They also told me that they get jealous if I gave my attention to someone else, it seems like they want all of my attention.

Last time I felt that I was just imagining things. This time I'm a 100% sure I'm attacked by demons. Because. Hmm. Wait a minute. I'm not myself anymore. I have been seeing blood in my dreams. When I wake up, I feel cold breath on my neck and it sends me into a sudden state of calm..the demon is very alluring, as though someone is always smiling at me. They are like a ghost. They came in my dream many times. They smiled at me as though they were in duping delight. Then they put their arms around me and I woke up in total fright and I was sweating. I feel like they possess and they can control and it doesn't feel bad. It feels like a child being offered a chocolate/candy by a boogeyman. This demon entered me on April 25th ( around that date because I don't remember the exact date so around April 25 this year). They had a beard. The demon repeatedly commanded me to call them "LEADER." that's the name they wanted to be known by.

So I have not been myself anymore since April 25 this year. Something happened and a demon got into me....

Why not? I don't see why cocky should be associated with integrity. I have seen virtuous men being cocky. It's just a superficial trait mostly. This is like saying a woman who is too proud has to be a bitch. That's judgement

What do you mean by she will come back?

@integral oh I see

You mean Michael Douglas

My third boyfriend Joseph hadn't been very clear about what work he had been doing. I think he lived on his disability income. I had realized after dating these men to never date a broke guy. Broke guys have a ton of issues. If you are thinking that you have a stable home and you will just allow a broke guy to live with you actually it doesn't work like that. They don't have only financial issues. Although financial issues can be easily taken care of. Broke guys have several other issues. They have Insecurities, see the reason why they are broke. They are ill-fitted in society. They have been rejected everywhere. They could be drug addicts. They could have personality issues like temper issues. They could have medical conditions or living conditions or habits that are impossible to deal with. Lesson learned Never date a broke guy. Not worth it

My third boyfriend Much of my time in America was spent with Joseph. I didn't get much time for anything at all. And all this time was spent with Joseph It was all good at first. But our relationship took a sour turn mid February onwards. This was when the ominous period in our relationship began. I would go through a whole lot before I reached the turning point in November 2019 and then eventual breakup on September 2020.

She wants dopamine

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