Preety_India

My third boyfriend Joseph June / August 2020. Everything was relatively fine during this time.

@something_else I don't care who you dated. You aren't some standard male I need to look up to anyway. Your general rhetoric is always "every male is me" Sorry for breaking your bubble

No thanks. There will always be guys ready for everything just like there are girls ready for everything. Depends on who you are bargaining with.

@Preety_India @Michael569 the above thing worked. Problem solved. You can try it too

@Razard86 thank you. This worked.

@Michael569 that's a great idea Mike.

@Leo Gura it's fine. I'll remove the topic.

It didn't work for me.

@Phil777 you mean in terms of financial, then I'm independent and I don't need to depend on the guy for it.. If I say submissive, it's mostly in the bedroom. But I don't like to dominate men or tell them what to do. I like them doing their own thing without me having to tell them. I don't like submissive passive guys, they don't turn me on. If a guy dominates me outside the bedroom or tries to make decisions for me that's fine with me and I don't feel hurt by that.

@QQQ so following are the conditions. - he doesn't get mad if I spend too much time alone (because I'm an introvert) - he doesn't get jealous if I simply talk to other guys (flirting is not a part of this condition, I won't flirt if he doesn't like) - he doesn't get mad if he doesn't receive an immediate reply to his text - he is okay if I go on trips alone - he doesn't expect me to marry him - he is okay if I don't want to be his girlfriend or if I don't call him my boyfriend - him and I meet for sex and emotional intimacy and devote time to each other without expectations of the future - we don't cheat on each other - we don't have sex with anyone else. We are exclusive. - we spend quality time with each other whenever we are mutually available to each other but we don't force one another to spend time - he is dominating in his general demeanor and most everyday decisions are taken by him and I'm his submissive puppy

Hmm. I think I might have caused some confusion here. Sorry for that. I did not mean to say that I want to stop being submissive. I like and enjoy my submissive side a lot. And I enjoy being dominated. The only thing I don't want is pressure and obligations That is, it's fine if I meet a guy who is dominating, it will match and complement my submissive side For example if he dominates me in an argument or preaches me then it's fine. Let's say he decides what restaurant we go to, that's fine too. I will do as he likes. What I don't want - him wanting to be at his beck and call. Him demanding that I marry him or be his girlfriend strictly for a stipulated period of time. All these pressures, commitments and obligations. That's the part I want to omit from the relationship. I only want the substance of the relationship without the strings

@Leo Gura you have helped me a lot with my trauma healing. You give me logical insights when my brain isn't logical most of the time. You have literally been my pillar of strength for close to 4 years now.

I absolutely agree. It's hard to find an ideal person who is not too possessive.

@puporing yea I would want some on a mutual wavelength, someone who doesn't care about obligations either.

Yea kinda.

@Natasha not at all. My father was extremely passive submissive type. He was almost a slave to my mom. He was extremely loyal, faithful and super caring to me. I was Daddys girl and he was super protective of me, almost spoiled me. I couldn't have asked for a better dad. I inherited his submissive behavior. Probably genetically. Both me and my dad had submissive doormat behaviors. He was a doormat to my mother. I was a doormat to my ex boyfriends.

I'm trying to contemplate on the subject of evil and good. And after some contemplating, I have come to this realization that pure evil is also pure love. I know this sounds deluded, absurd, controversial. I got this insight yesterday while contemplating that evil cannot be without love in it. Whenever someone commits evil, they develop a strong karmic connection with you. It cannot be otherwise. This has ended my 4 year battle contemplating evil. Evil is just love but in a karmic way. The perpetrator establishes passion (which is the major component of both love and hate), it's like two sides of the same coin but in a paradoxical way. The perpetrator or evil doer establishes passion through evil acts with the victim. They show this passion or love in a warped way. Unjustified karma leads to passion and love. Justified karma doesn't lead to passion and love.. The most dangerous state is Zero Karma. I don't know if I am deluded.

@Federico del pueblo it's fine if he is a narcissistic freak, I'm learning to embrace and accept however a person, no care for their mental disorder or their personality flaws, plus I am pretty much used to dealing with narcissists, they aren't as bad as made out to be, lots of people that are way worse than narcissists. The only thing I'm looking for is zero pressure and no obligations/commitment As long as these two are accepted, I will be completely fine being around that person and even feel more free. I'm a freedom loving person so I don't want the caged feeling.

@Federico del pueblo @Razard86 Oki I'll explain this in detail. So like my second ex boyfriend. He once got me a dress. A black dress And I usually never wear black. And I didn't like the dress. I told him that I didn't want to wear it but he kept insisting that I do it for him. I have found this with men that I am never attracted to submissive puppy type men, and I'm usually attracted to the cocky bossy guys because I kinda feel Sexual around them. You know what I mean. But the problem with such guys is that they can be excessively controlling. And I have been tired of serving them and being their submissive gf. I want to experience the Masculinity of a man, especially these cocky guys but without having to be their girlfriend the obligations of being a girlfriend. Like some of these ex boyfriends wanted me to marry them. Like Joseph my ex boyfriend used to pressure me to marry him. So I kinda wanted the relationship or the feel of the relationship but I didn't want to marry him.. I didn't want to marry any of my boyfriends. The problem is that they would pressure me into such obligations and commitments. Like being a gf. Being available on time. Like sometimes I used to come home tired and not wanting to talk or chat and just wanting to sleep and my exes would really get pissed off And there would be days when I didn't feel like talking to them Then this whole burden of turning up for dates on time, committing to be their future wife. Committing to marry them when I wasn't sure. Sometimes they would get incredibly jealous if I was talking to some other guy. So there was that. Dealing with their jealousy. So I guess I just wanted to experience some happiness with a guy without all the TORTURE. You know what I mean now

I'd rather be his submissive puppy minus the obligation.. For me the pressure of a relationship was always a problem. I don't want the stress and pressure of having to do something for my boyfriend. They would always pressure me to do things that weren't in my wish. And I was always easily dominated. Because I'm naturally the submissive one. So I'm looking for a guy who will give me the pleasures of a relationship without excessive domination and pressure. Even if he is dominating, it's fine but I don't want the pressures.

For starters, always being emotionally available to emotionally unavailable men.

@Federico del pueblo exclusive but not a gf. No obligations.

My third boyfriend Joseph April / May 2020 Joseph wasn't talking to me since March. Than gradually he tried to warm up to me. We began talking again. We got back together.

My third boyfriend Joseph March 13 2020 It was Friday the 13th. Joseph asked me to come to America and marry him.. I replied - a loud emphatic no Joseph was furious. He posted this on his Facebook a few moments later - Fuckkkkkkk I could sense his anger. This was the 7th time we were breaking up. No way was I going to marry him after whatever happened in last November.

My third boyfriend Joseph January/February 2020 There was nothing eventful except for the news of a strange virus.