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@StarStruck @Leo Gura how did you get that

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My third boyfriend Joseph September last week 2020 For the next 5 days, I kept wondering what must have gone wrong between us. I hadn't had a clue. Why was Joseph acting so aloof and weird? Joseph and I had fought endless times. But it was never this way. This was out of left field. Whenever we fought, it was always a lot of back and forth bickering and spontaneous fighting. He would say a ton of mean things. Usually he would cuss me out with abusive stuff. I would say mean things to trigger him This time nothing like that happened Joseph would normally try to win me back. He would be silent for a day or two and then make up with me. Usually he would start with some unrelated subject and try to get back with me. This time he did nothing. He said something like - I love you but this is not working. There was a certain kind of finality to his tone. I was increasingly nervous.

My third boyfriend Joseph September 2020 So it was September 25,2020 I was chatting with Joseph. And then..... I receive a vulgar lewd text message from a guy on Facebook. I told Joseph about it. I was extremely upset. Nervous. Feeling overwhelmed by the sexual harassment. Then Joseph confronted that guy.. I was sobbing. I had been sobbing quietly for almost 2 hours.. Then Joseph began to act weird. He started blaming me for the sexual harassment. I was completely taken by surprise and a bit upset. Then he suddenly texted me "we are done. It's over." I was extremely upset and I began to cry again. I could not understand what was going on.

Grey mode is even better

@Leo Gura why don't you take help from users here and just get it done.

The man has to be somewhat narcissistic. This means he wants authority and control in the relationship. Most dominating guys would want this. This means they would not necessarily be codependent themselves. But they would love a partner who wants to depend on them, whether financially or emotionally or both. This gives the guy a sense of control over their partner, the feeling that they hold control over their partner makes them feel good or in ownership of the partner. They admire this dependency, they want to be the provider of their partner's needs, they want to feel like the partner is helpless without them, giving them this sense of power.

Her dependency on him. That's what codependent means. They feed on each other's dependencies. It's like a narcissist who wants his narcissistic supply.

Not everyone who doesn't want to lose plays games. All relationships have some degree of codependency. That's basically relationships are, nobody is too independent

I don't want to be a girlfriend anymore. I don't want the pressures and rigors of being a girlfriend. I played that role for some time now and it kinda sucks for all the right reasons. So what of a relationship should I be looking for? The ones that offer intimacy without the need to be a girlfriend? I'll explain this in detail. So like my second ex boyfriend. He once got me a dress. A black dress And I usually never wear black. And I didn't like the dress. I told him that I didn't want to wear it but he kept insisting that I do it for him. I have found this with men that I am never attracted to submissive puppy type men, and I'm usually attracted to the cocky bossy guys because I kinda feel Sexual around them. You know what I mean. But the problem with such guys is that they can be excessively controlling. And I have been tired of serving them and being their submissive gf. I want to experience the Masculinity of a man, especially these cocky guys but without having to be their girlfriend the obligations of being a girlfriend. Like some of these ex boyfriends wanted me to marry them. Like Joseph my ex boyfriend used to pressure me to marry him. So I kinda wanted the relationship or the feel of the relationship but I didn't want to marry him.. I didn't want to marry any of my boyfriends. The problem is that they would pressure me into such obligations and commitments. Like being a gf. Being available on time. Like sometimes I used to come home tired and not wanting to talk or chat and just wanting to sleep and my exes would really get pissed off And there would be days when I didn't feel like talking to them. Then this whole burden of turning up for dates on time, committing to be their future wife. Committing to marry them when I wasn't sure. Sometimes they would get incredibly jealous if I was talking to some other guy. So there was that. Dealing with their jealousy. So I guess I just wanted to experience some happiness with a guy without all the TORTURE. You know what I mean now I like to wake up and feel free and not caged and tied up.

@Razard86 the problem is that you don't want to listen to a woman. But you want a woman to listen to a man. With that attitude, a relationship will not even start, forget about how it will end

Toxic Masculinity. Women don't like this. They wish to be cherished

I still don't want the term Fwb because it's with friends and I don't wanna do it with a friend.

@ZenSwift how did you do it?

Omg the word fwb makes me wanna puke so hard. Oh God. Everytime I ever saw someone say fwb, I saw something super shady about those folks. Isn't it like super dirty to have sex with someone who is actually supposed to be your friend? It never fits with me. Plus how do I know he won't be doing the same with other female friends. Sorry something about fwb looks seriously sketchy to me because I can't really say good things about a person who kinda looks at their own friend that way, if you catch my drift here. I'm not gonna do casual sex, ons or fwb... They all look like super dirty options. Maybe it's my mind but these scream out to me like "sex only" options, and I'm not into "sexxx only" kinda thing. So I want the bf to be like a bf and me to be like a gf but in an undefined tie up between the two of us, although this sounds somewhat pristine, beautiful and romantic to me unlike the dirty options you gave me. There is something romantic about not being completely committed yet being in love with a person who you keep meeting on and off (not like friends) but like lovers who wanna meet but not make it official, it keeps the mystery component going. Plus no obligations, so no stress or tension A guy who really loves me would probably want that.

Burden of being a stupid girlfriend

No I want sex. That's the reason I want the relationship. Back then I was a virgin because I had marriage goals in mind which I don't cling to anymore.

@Valach even the man wants exclusivity if he doesn't want me to cheat or have an open relationship. My motivation is simple - I don't want the burden.

@Valach because I am only interested in the dynamic. I guess there are a lots of men who are uncertain about the future or don't wish to be committed either.

@Valach just stick with the topic please. Thanks.

You won't feel it because you're a man and not on the same level as me. I am bpd and I am sensitive to even slightest levels of meanness. I can detect when someone is deliberately invalidating me.the way someone interacts with me is the way I'll interact back with them. In other words I operate like a mirror.. I guess it's best to stick with the topic

And you have a tendency to trigger me with slighted passive aggressive condescending tone to your comments. I'm not angry. Just being salty to the meanness. I mean saying "no man wants to".... can appear mean. Hmm. I should always do what's best for me. Is that the reason why so many men have commitment phobia (the famously known relationship issue associated with the male gender), because oh men love love some clarity. What BS. The only men who want that are those men who have a head on their shoulders and a lot of men don't. I didn't say quality men with strict standards. I want someone who fulfills my needs. Women should stop giving a fuck about who they date and look for their own needs first. Enough of patriarchal nonsense. Anyways monogamous relationships are going out the window by the dozen. Women can choose whatever they want... And there will always be guys desperate enough to go for it. Because where else can men get sex except with women? I don't want to be some guy's one night stand. Maybe desperate girls for your casual sex trap. Not me. I have maintained myself as a virgin despite a man's hardest efforts to bed me. So I'm not waiting in line for that kind of worthless shit. And hell yeah I always attracted cocky masculine dudes. Because those are the only ones who turn me on. I am just trying to break even and who knows I might get luck. For a woman it's not that hard is it?

@Yarco try the opera browser. It has a force dark option for users. You don't even need to register. I turned on the force dark option and so far it's super awesome. Just loving it. This is the only thing that actually worked after having tried all extensions.

I would be very happy if a guy told me he is a virgin. I'd jumping with joy. Virginity Rocks

@integral if she is bpd like me maybe she could benefit from some of my posts in the mental section. Also give my regards to her, a fellow bpd gives her a hug..