Preety_India

You can always talk to me.

I'm trying my best to understand bipolar people so I can love them the best way I can It's hard though. But I'll find my way.

@Carl-Richard do you remember the positive aspects of your dad's bipolar side?

That's interesting.

@Carl-Richard what I observed with my mother is that she would suddenly talk about something completely unrelated. Or giggle out of nowhere. Extreme reactions to petty stuff. It's tough to hold a conservation with her because she talks excessively without breaks, compulsive talking. Also she immediately jumps to something unrelated. And I can never logic with her.

@Proserpina thank you so much.

I don't think there's any point anymore. Leave it. (personally I don't think there's really a tangible solution, those who wanna kill someone, they will end up killing them, that's how I look at it) Bye.

Not commenting anymore. Have a good day.

So you mean you and other moderators will simply watch a barrage of insulting comments made by one user on another user's journal meanwhile that user is simply told to block and meanwhile the whole forum gets to see those insulting comments Fair enough. That looks like a good recipe. If someone wants to vent (and I'm not against venting, we all feel the need to air out our grievances) they can do so privately in their own journals. But it gets very messy and very confrontational when someone comments on your journal directly. That's like a direct attack. And I always thought direct attacks were supposed to be controlled on the forum. Anyway do whatever pleases you. I'm too tired and I'm out. And sick of the hypocrisy too.

In a way that's good. But have you thought about anything if constant comments are made?

@Carl-Richard her journal was locked by Moderator @Natasha because she was spam reporting comments on her journals. Then Leo left a comment saying that anyone who comments on her journal will be given warning points. I'm not sure if @Aleister Crowleyy received warnings for commenting. But it's super unfair that she gets to comment on others in the meanwhile.

@Loba alright this is my last comment to you. We are done. You should no longer mention or quote me on the forum ever again, and I would appreciate that a fuck ton. I don't want you slithering and trying to win my trust again because it's done and over with and it's not happening again. Move on with your life and stop being in mine, as you said you're so busy. And if you don't leave me alone, then we should both receive warning points. @Carl-Richard how is that?

@Carl-Richard I think the rule should apply equally to everyone. If she comments on someone's journal, she should get warning points too. Rules should apply to everyone. Nobody should comment in other's journal if that person doesn't like it.

@Carl-Richard I don't think this is fair that she can freely post whatever rubbish she wants in my journal without any consequences to that. Yet her journal is super protected from any intrusion and if anyone comments on her journal, immediate warning points are given to users. Yet she can freely attack other users in their journals. How does that work? I know I can block her but if she repeatedly keeps commenting in my journal, that would be very distressing, the way she has done before. She wishes to be left alone yet cannot manage to leave others alone.

I'm not going to comment any further on this. I'm done with it.

Thanks. That means a lot

@Loba you are also the person who said in her journal in December last year that you will never involve yourself in other people's drama and you pledged that. And here you are once again involving yourself. There is no meaning to your words and you will never stop. Before coming at me, look in the mirror

@Loba if you really really didn't have time you wouldn't have done this. And no. Nobody tells you to do anything. You have the habit of getting into other people's conflicts. Ask @Michael Jackson @Benton never told you to do this. 100% guarantee. I know him. This is your job because you love getting into other people's drama. Learn to take it when you dish it out. It is because of you that Moderator @Natasha stop being a mod on the forum because you kept targeting her on the forum. You have also targeted @modmyth for months and she confided into me. Because you don't stop And @Bentonfound people like you to confide into

@Benton I trust you with this. That's my last word for you. Resolve it privately or leave it. But please spare me this trouble.

@Loba stop being in my journal. I ask you to leave me alone. You don't like people being in your journal right? Or are the rules special for you? Also @Loba gets super angry when someone comments on her journal. People get warning points for commenting on her journal. Why is it okay for her to comment on my journal then? Shouldn't the rules apply fairly to all?

@Loba stop creating drama and creepily following my journal. I had enough of you.. You're the one stalking me. Even @Natasha knows. @Benton you gotta put an end to this. Stop gossiping about me to this woman. I hate what you are doing. Please I'm not stalking you. None of my stuff is about you. Stop feeding people this bullshit. I have nothing against you and I have repeatedly said this and whatever happened it was without ill intent. You need to sort this out privately with me instead of public like this. This is not good for me. You know deep down that I don't mean harm. Stop giving people like these a chance to attack me. Just please stop this drama.

This is what existential crisis is. But it's not a big deal. It's like you are running a long marathon (in this case mental masturbation). Keep running, no problem. Just carry a big water bottle with you. What I'm saying is that be positive and don't think there is something wrong with you. Embrace your exploration skills. I was very frustrated when I was going through it. I also felt like going to a doctor. It's natural but the doctor won't help you much. You have to cut down the frustration by coping with calm music, relaxation exercises, taking short breaks during the day, not getting overwhelmed, answering the questions in your mind slowly, properly without confusion, maintaining your mental stamina because it's very taxing to explore things mentally so keep very mentally hydrated with enough rest, breaks, relaxation, walks, zero arguments, don't bring relationship into this it will break you down easily (because relationships are another mindfuck). Just don't lose focus or get too frustrated because mental breakdowns are very common during existential crisis especially if you have the added factor of anxiety going with it. So learn to calm down but don't calm down your curiosity. Your brain is in the "curious child" mode during the phase of existential crisis. As a result your brain will ask 10 different questions in a day, you will ask a lot of questions, and open a lot of threads because your brain is hungry for answers. This is completely normal but it's very frustrating because it's like running a marathon that never ends. There is nothing abnormal and you don't need a doctor. Suppressing/repressing this phenomenon is like halting growth. Your mind and brain is trying to grow so let it grow. It will eventually slow down when your clarity will improve, you will have a sense of purpose, a spiritual or mental framework to follow. Then the existential crisis will go out like a flame that burns out. Right now it's an active flame.. keep feeding it. It will slow down at some point and taper off and come to and end. You will need minimum 6 months to a year or even 2 years for it to calm down finally. So have patience and carry a mental emotional stamina water bottle. Good luck..

@Someone here you are going through existential crisis. It happened to me when I was 18 and lasted till 20. No worries. You'll get over it. Usually for most people it happens in the age range of 15 to 18. For you it's delayed. Goodluck.

I accidentally clicked I swear. Next time I'll be careful.

I'm trying to stay calm as much as possible. I still feel a bit spaced out. And paranoid as well. Fearful and Hyper alert. I feel like a prey right now. I was even called a prey I swear. Like literally called a prey. At that point I just laughed it off. They were looking straight into my eyes. I feel like I'm in a corner. A little panicky. Ironically the person that I'm so scared of is also the person I trust. I don't know how this works. But it's like sleeping with a person and then waking up to see them holding a knife at my throat. I'm wondering what happened. I would lay there frozen and let them do what they want. Because I have fundamentally believed that if someone wanted to kill me, they would succeed anyway and I can do nothing to stop them. So the person who attacks me physically is the same person I will trust. And I'll run into their arms for help. Because there is no simply nobody better than them who could understand my fears and panic. I have learned to trust my attackers because of my trauma. That's how my BPD brain works due to abuse and trauma. It has learned to trust the attacker out of survival needs. I learned to embrace my abuser when I was a child. There was a consistent pattern to it that followed later in life.