Preety_India

I still feel like I am in a one sided relationship with him. He hasn't yet fully confessed to loving me. But I'm already in love . I think about him everyday. I'm crazy for him. I adore him. I worship him. I have been liking him for some time but my feelings weren't strong. Back then I saw him as a friend. They work as a driver. Sometimes he is also working on nights. Like late night shifts. We do chat during those times. But we usually talk when he gets home to his small apartment. He lives on the 3rd floor. I will not say his name. Only P. P is very gentle with me. Very emotional guy. I'm sensitive too. I love P

P is a Virgo. He is born in September. I'm born in February. I'm a Pisces. I usually fall for earth signs a lot. My first bf was an Aries. My second was a Taurus. Tauruses are always my biggest crushes. My third was a Pisces (kinda funny). Fourth was a Taurus. A lot of my friends are generally Taurus or Virgo. I rarely get along with another Pisces My compatibility with Scorpio and Sagittarius, Capricorn and Aquarius is low. I generally don't get along with these people. I generally make great friends with Cancer but it never reaches to the point of romance. P is a Virgo. Virgo can make me feel sexy and comfortable. They are kinda independent and open minded. But old fashioned and I'm old school type too. ......

I love you. You stole my heart. You took my breath away. You're in my heart forever and I'm slave to your love.. I worship you. I love you deeply. I can't live without you. You are my love, you are my soul. You have my heart. I promised myself that you're the man I will love forever and only you and none other. I won't love any other man except you. The day you told me - "give yourself to me," I gave myself to you and never looked back ever since. I can die for you. I swear I will give up my life for you. I have surrendered my heart and my life to you. Whether you love me or not, it's not relevant anymore. Whether you hate me or not, it doesn't matter anymore Whether you like someone else or not , it won't piss me off anymore Whether you give your love to me or not, I will still love you just the same. I want nothing from you. No commitment nothing. I don't even want sex. I just want to keep loving you and worshipping you. What you do of me is up to you. I won't be hurt no matter what you do. If you feel like you wanna kill me, then here I am, I surrender my body and my willpower to you.. Do as you wish I have fallen in love with you and you have found the way to my heart. .... This is what I wanted all my life. It's you. Only you. I love you. ..... You know what I like the most on your body. That place. That place on your neck. Right in the center, a bit lower. Yes yes yes, right there. Right near your throat but just below it, where it's a bit shallow. That central place. Right there... Hehe I was looking up for the scientific name for this place. It's called the Jugular notch or the Suprasternal notch. I want to place a knife right there and cut the Jugular. I'm joking. I want to touch there and feel all of my love flowing through it. Keep touching there and you'll feel my love. Hehe. My love flows through that place into your body. .......... I idolize you and I crush on you and I'm crazy for you. You're the man of my life. The king of my heart.. The owner of my body. Yea I know this is one sided. But I'm deeply in love with you. Wish I could be one with you. But where would be the fun. The fun lies in being separated this way. This is the song I chose for you.

Abuse is never okay. A lot of people don't heal from it and their potential forever sabotaged.

Well at least that's good news. Although I still feel like you have some hidden disorder, imbalance, rage issues, maybe hidden ptsd or similar condition that is probably undiagnosed, because I remember that I would go nuts and want to destroy everything whenever I was angry for being mistreated, later I got diagnosed with Cptsd and now bpd. So there was always a reason why I was acting like that. I didn't kill anyone, I never injured anyone, just broke things and threw them at the wall to express my borderline rage, but now I understand why I was doing all that. It sometimes helps to figure out what's festering inside to manage it better next time, just dropping a hint, not diagnosing.

It's true bro.

Hmm. You have a valid point. See you gave me a much bigger context now. So I can easily emphasize with you now. Earlier in your original post, it sounded a bit immature that you were complaining about a store clerk not paying you attention which I have to face on a regular basis and I have gotten used to it by now. I apologize for comparing the suffering. But generally when you suffer so much over a cause that's not very long lasting (example a one off situation as this) it means you got deeper issues to work on. I don't know your age. Age matters too. I did not let them treat them this way or like it, I was attached, I was trusting and I didn't know better. Should a naive trusting person be taken advantage of just because they are naive. Do they really deserve it? Nobody deserves to be mistreated.. Now coming to your situation. Sometimes you gotta empathize with people. Deep down they might not be happy and this state of misery is reflected on others. They take out their anger by acting rude to others. Also they could be stressed due to work.. Remember they're dealing with people day in day out. You're dealing with them only on occasions. But they're having to deal with all kinds of people everyday. This can easily make them immune and insensitive to the experiences of customers, no wonder they expect you to put up with them. You need to practice letting go. Wanting to kill someone over such a small thing is kinda ridiculous. Yea that person was a bit insensitive. But killing? If that person had been a regular bully, I'd have still said it's okay to harbor hate. But this is a situation with a stranger who is not a people friendly person. They may not be evil, just annoying

I probably should have murdered all of my exes with a big rifle by now The amount of mistreatment and disrespect I suffered was beyond unbearable. I even landed in hospitals in two different relationships. And I had been super duper duper nice to them in the relationship. They called me the ideal girlfriend. Yes ideal for abuse. So chill bro....... Your story pales in comparison

Most of the time I feel like this.

Time to unpack

Keeping a record

The only person who can have a stable relationship with me is a super narcissist.

They (that is me) will exhibit a wide range of coping behaviors.

One of the most damaging symptoms is lack of stability.

Oh no please. I saw that shit just two days ago and didn't want to click on it. Why in the world?

Their throat Chakra is unbalanced and small in size

What's so special about cocky guys? They attract me a lot. Not overly cocky because that would come across as insecure and bluffy. But in general guys who tend to be cocky attract my attention more than others. I can differentiate between confident, insecure and over confident. If a guy is confident, it's great. If he is slightly cocky, that seems like an icing on the cake. Thoughts.

Work on Maslow's heirarchy.

@hyruga my ex used to talk to his ex. I never had a problem because I trusted him to not to do anything hurtful I gave him full freedom to talk to both of his exes. He even showed me their pictures and he liked their pictures on Facebook. Deep down I trusted him so it didn't matter who he was talking to

Sometimes girls have to talk to their exes, maybe out of fear? Check the nature of their conversations. If she is flirting, I don't think it's okay since she is in a new relationship. That can make anyone insecure big time. I talked to my ex for almost a year after we broke up. But it wasn't flirting since I had no interest in that. I was venting my frustration with him, because it was hurting badly, it was an LTR and venting with him released some of my tension. We would bicker at each other back and forth and we dragged it on for a year, he was frustrated that I was moving on and couldn't deal with it and I was repeatedly ranting at him reminding him of the hurt. In the end when I met my new boyfriend, he told me to block my ex which I did and I kinda felt stupid for not doing it sooner. After blocking him I felt good for a while, and then I unblocked him and we began talking again, but once again it was too much squabbling and quarreling over the past and him trying to win me back which wasn't working. My whole agenda was to push him to the curb and get over it somehow. I think I was looking for closure. It takes a long time to understand that there is no real closure, even if one goes looking for it. It's simply over and that's it. So yea, it takes time for all that to sink in. I think experience is the best teacher. Also my ex was contacting me for emotional support for the stuff he had been dealing with. So I was still giving him emotional support even after the breakup. He was kinda relying on me. The lingering inertia of the relationship. But I had to finally come to terms with the fact that it's not my job to give him support that he needs to find himself since there is no context for it and it only complicates things even more. So I happily blocked him once again. Battle of the exes. It happens. Maybe some day I might unblock him. But it's just something not very healthy in the end. Like an on and off addiction. It's hard if the relationship was deep and conflicting. It's hard to let go of the addiction to find closure. Hope this helps Talk to your gf and tell her to at least minimize or block the ex. I know it might be hard for her. But she has to control it or block it.

Will miss ya

@JuliusCaesar you're not realizing that low doses of caffeine can be beneficial too. They bring down the complications of cardiovascular diseases.

@JuliusCaesar neurotoxin?

@itsnutsandbolts thanks